by Elik Katzav
I fall onto the floor by Eldad’s side. My shoulder bag falls and everything in it spills onto the floor as well.
As I try to get up, I hear the door opening, the sound of heavy steps approaching and someone grabbing hold of me. Eldad’s men are dragging me out.
- I saw him! For sure! That’s the guy who robbed the m-
Meir and Yuval grab me by each arm as I try to break loose.
“You have no idea what you’re saying. This is our gardener. He would never do anything against me,” Eldad replies in a hoarse voice. “Looks like it’s time for you to be gone,” he adds.
I try to untangle myself from Yuval and Meir’s grip, but then I freeze. My tear filled eyes focus on my bag, whose contents is now scattered all over Eldad’s floor. I can see, clear as can be, a long glass knife wrapped in cloth. Its handle seems to be made of obsidian. The light shining on it makes it seem like the handle itself is flowing like it is liquid.
I manage to whisper:
- Shell.
Eldad turns his head quickly and scans the floor. His eyes catch what I focused my gaze on and he turns back to face me.
“Throw him out,” he tells his men. “Leave him on the other side of the fence. And as for you, next time you show yourself around here, I will exercise the full scale of my influence to see to it you are thrown in jail for as long as possible. A deranged former cop harassing a former Knesset Member. Yes, I know all about you and your history. You won’t get off scot-free.”
- You, you turned your head!
He smiles ever so sardonically, and his veiled grin never leaves his lips as his men drag me out of the house and throw me to the curb along with my stuff.
Chapter 26
I cannot stop shaking. It’s over a hundred degrees out, and here I am, sitting in my car, shaking, and not from some cold.
I keep glancing at my cell phone until I eventually pick it up and dial.
Rabbi Daniel picks up three rings later.
There’s that music.
- Listen, I am not cut out for this. The whole thing is more than I can bear. I am in way over my head. For better or worse, I need to cut my losses.
He doesn’t respond.
Maybe he’s stepping away from the noise?
“Good evening, David. What’s changed since we met? I felt you came close to some understanding.”
- Understanding? What understanding? This isn’t my turf. I didn’t even realize all this existed until almost a year ago. I don’t belong in this, this world. All I want is to get back to the life I had before all that, a life of blissful unawareness, the good life. I could have lived to be a hundred without knowing what was going on, and now, now I’m not even sure I’ll be alive next week. Next week! I don’t even know if I’ll survive until tomorrow! If these dreams of mine turn real, or if I were to take one sleeping pill too many… it will make it easier for me, yeah, don’t for a second think I hadn’t considered it, ending this madness. I don’t want to be around anymore!
“And yet”, he takes a deep breath, “you are stronger than what’s happening to you! You did survive the worst of it, you are definitely recovering. True, it does take a while to achieve recovery and to reconcile yourself to life, but you are not alone. Like I said, I am here for you, and I am sure I am not the only person who cares for you.”
- But what did I survive for? Why am I still around? Why don’t these things just leave me be? Why do they keep coming back?
“Because you have what it takes to stand up to them. The Lord does not set us challenges unless He knows we can rise to them.”
I nod as my eyes fill with tears.
- This isn’t over. All this time I was coping with what had happened back in Nazareth, I made some progress, and all this suddenly happens.
“What happened?”
- Idan, the boy I told you about. His parents hired me to find him and return him to them. Wherever I go in search of him in the course of my investigation, things pop up, things I can remember, which I don’t even know it they’re real or not, or just my imagination, or whatever it is that’s causing me to see them.
That pair of yellow eyes again.
I shake my head and reopen my eyes. The yellow eyes have disappeared. I take a deep breath and continue.
- So I followed the findings to the Khan Museum, where you know what had happened.
“Yes, the shell.”
- Yes. Well, I did tell myself I had to go on, to keep working and follow through all the way to someone Idan was gathering info on, at least that’s what I assumed, and paid him a visit, only to discover he was in possession of the shell. These things have suddenly popped up in another place!
“You tracked down another shell?” Rabbi Datan asks me after a brief pause.
- Tracked down? I seem to have become a magnet for these things! Wherever I go, there they are. I am scared to discover what might lay behind the next door I open. For all I know, it just might be the last door I ever open.
“Who’s got the shell you’ve found? Who’s in possession of it?”
- Remember former Knesset Member Eldad Ben Ya’ar? He’s that hi-tech tycoon who was diagnosed with ALS. I saw it at his home. I looked inside a bag which contained a piece of shell.
“I won’t ask you how you came to the position that had enabled you to examine his bag. But could it have been something else you mistook for a shell?”
I nod and think to myself, No, no mistake. To hide it in plain sight! What a great idea. Besides, there’s hardly any risk anyone might realize that this handle of a knife could be a shard of the divine shell. Eldad doesn’t strike me as someone who doesn’t know what he’s doing. I don’t know, could this be a repeat of Nazareth?! Is Eldad trying to attract this demon or whatever, who would want the shell, and in return provide him with a cure for his ALS? Who knows? That’s the first thing that occurs to me.
“Are you paying attention?”
- Attention to what, Rabbi Datan?
“To what you just did: you succeeded in getting a grip and extricating yourself out of the situation you were in only a few seconds earlier.”
I pause for a moment and notice my breathing has returned to normal. The fog in my head has cleared up the moment I was able to think clearly and put my ideas into words.
- So what does that mean?
“It means you are capable of avoiding this malaise, this getting stuck in your black hole moments. Your strength lies in analytical thought, not in faith. You do not need to look for solutions far away: they are within you, and you alone. When you set your mind to it, you can think and analyze things using the tools you’ve got, and then you are capable of coping with whatever they throw at you.”
Though we’re on the phone, he nevertheless seems to catch the face I am making, and so he continues.
“It’s true that I am a man of faith, but then again, I know the Lord will save me and shield me at a time of danger, but in your case, I actually think you need to calm down, to relax and learn how to use your own mind in order to defend yourself. I know, what you’re thinking right now. I know it sounds like those awful self-help books, but that doesn’t make it any less true.”
I nod agreement.
What he’s saying makes sense.
“So, your path is clear now. I am so glad to see you’re making progress. From here on, you can only grow.”
I smile. I cannot recall the last time I smiled like that.
This is certainly something I can get used to.
- Thank you, rabbi. Thank you so much for your patience and understanding.
“You are most welcome. With all my love. We walk the same path, you and I. And I feel this is such an interesting path to be part of, David.”
I hang up and make my way back to Tel Aviv.
Chapter 27
“I am not the
only person who cares for you.”
That line stays with me all the way back to Tel Aviv.
Other people do care for me.
It would seem Rabbi Datan might be right. The more I unburden myself, the better I feel.
I park the Subaru and rush over to the upholstery shop. I take a quick shower and I’m off to Rose’s place.
The moment Rose opens the door, the smell of her wet hair fills me with the scent of flowers. She’s wearing this long shirt that comes down all the way to her knees, almost. She gives me a long hug and I close my eyes as I allow myself to lean deeper into her hair. All my problems go away in one single second.
I take my shoes off by the door and Rose leads me to her kitchen, where the desk still houses her own laptop, linked to Idan’s PC.
“Tea? I’ve got a new infusion, it’s very relaxing.”
- Thanks, I’ll be happy to have some. I shall be in your living room. Will you join me there?
She looks over from the corner of her kitchen. “No shop talk by the computer today?”
- No. Just a regular conversation between two friends.
“I am always up for one of those.”
I walk over to the living room and take my seat on her couch, where Rose joins me after a few moments, carrying a pot of warm tea and two cups. She pours and sits right next to me as she lays her legs across my lap, paying no mind to boundaries.
That’s certainly not what I had planned for this evening, especially seeing as I came intent on discussing everything I experienced, so now how am I supposed to concentrate?
I grab hold of her leg before she gets a chance to feel how aroused I am. Then I proceed to rub her leg, but that doesn’t make me any less aroused…
“So?” She asks, “What did you want to talk about?”
- Oh, well, about everything that’s been going on with me lately, you see. I mean, yesterday, the day before, and even earlier today. The whole thing with the investigation.
But her touch makes me forget everything.
All it takes is one little move on her part to throw me off.
Rose nods and looks at me ever-so-innocently. “Go ahead, I am listening.” She lays her other leg in my lap.
It does take me longer than I anticipated, but still, I even manage to fill her in on Lynn and her dad, the robbery at the museum, my meeting with Rabbi Daniel, and the unholy way Eldad is connected to the whole affair.
“He sounds like my kind of Rabbi! Recreational drugs as a means to an end. I could dig this particular form of religion.”
- Really? Is this all you take from everything I just told you?
“It sure is!” Rose leans forward, closer to me. “According to what you’ve just told me, this Rabbi Datan of yours has succeeded in making you feel, using a little bit of weed, more than I have in an entire year.”
- What are you talking about? I am trying to share something with you, what I’ve been going through.
Rose leans over me and proceeds to sit on top of me in one fell swoop.
“And I’ve been trying to get across what I am going through for two months now, only you, like the typical man that you are, just can’t take a hint,” her breath slides over my face and our eyes meet. “Do I really have to say it out loud?”
Misinterpreting my silence, she proceeds.
“So, I have to spell it out for you? You just don’t get it, do you,” her lips hover down my face, until she stops right over my lips. “It would seem I have to take matters into my own hands,” she whispers, leaning closer, and kisses me on the lips, first softly, then more voraciously. Her lips open mine to make way for her tongue as she Frenches me while holding my head in both hands and strokes my hair.
I tingle all over. As much as I’ve craved this very moment, I’ve feared it all the same. I am like a river whose dam is about to succumb. I throw caution to the wind and grab Rose by the waist and embrace her passionately. She moans on top of me, never leaving my lips, not letting me run from her. Rose’s scent fills me, just like the heat from her body as she clings to me, vibrating and quivering. I can sense her trembling touch. I hold her even tighter and allow her lips to kiss my neck, my own head deep in her soft hair.
She’s necking and kissing me. Now that our lips have parted for an instant, I’m suddenly having a moment of clarity, which reminds me why I strove to avoid this very moment until now. My own body rallies against my resolve to pull back from Rose: my heart is pounding hard and I feel her own heart pressed against mine.
Eventually, I whisper to her, my head pressed against her ear:
- You know I do not deserve any of this.
“I don’t care what you might think about yourself,” Rose’s voice is trembling slightly as she continues, “I have waited long enough for you to learn to accept yourself, then me, and now I am tired of waiting,” she resumes kissing my neck.
I groan as I struggle to physically stop myself from throwing it all away and simply ravaging her here and now.
But then I play out my final card.
- It still doesn’t make it all right.
Rose goes silent, but my words nevertheless did get through to her. Although she is beginning to pull back, she’s still on top of me. Her breathing slows. I can see how messy her hair is as she looks at me carefully, noticing in my eyes how deep the pain runs.
“I know what you want, even if you don’t. You have to realize there is more to you than pain. The moment you figure out how not to hate yourself, you will appreciate why it is people do love you.”
She gets off me and rises to her feet.
“I’m going to make myself a snack, you know, food as substitute for another kind of physical pleasure... you’re welcome to either join me or leave. Suit yourself.”
She walks over to the kitchen, barefoot. I see her cross the room and then she vanishes around the corner.
What am I doing? Yes, no… She throws herself at you, and all you do is reject her, and in such a way… “There are people who care for you,” the rabbi said. So why am I treating her like that? Why am I distancing myself from her? After all, that’s the opposite of what I wanted.
I suddenly hear the sound of pots and pans rattling in the kitchen, quickly followed by glass shattering, and worst of all, Rose screaming, scared.
Quick as instinct guides me, I run to the kitchen.
Her dining room couldn’t look more chaotic. Rose is sitting in a pile of shattered glass, her back to me. Trembling, hands behind her back, she is trying to crawl back as she stares at this figure by the dining room table, which was packed with computers only a moment ago, and is now a smoldering pile of wires and metal scraps.
This figure is looking at Rose, then at me, and grins, baring a full set of teeth.
It’s Meir! Eldad’s security guard is standing in the corner of Rose’s dining room. His face is so swollen, his veins are pumping down his neck.
He certainly didn’t look like that the last time I saw him.
He’s got this boasting smile on, as if his mouth is on the verge of tearing open. Meir’s eyes are bulging like they are about to fly off their sockets. His suit appears to be going to burst any moment now. His entire physique has doubled in size since he last put that suit on.
Meir glances at Rose and me, still grinning, his hands reaching for the last computer that still looks intact, and clenches his fist. The PC is crumpling and shrinking before our very eyes. Within seconds, he’s turned everything into this flashing, steaming ball of metal, sparks, and burnt plastic.
It’s on your back.
A flashback hits me, and I reach for my gun clip. My hand is trembling as I insert a magazine into the gun.
Click.
By the light that’s coming from the kitchen, Meir’s entire body now seems to be wrapped in this black cloud. This dark halo of some figure stand
ing behind him.
Or is it inside him?
A chilling wave envelopes me. So cold. I am on the verge of being sick.
He smiles again, and a dark, nebulous figure seems to be smiling in unison as it wraps itself around Meir.
“’Go seek the asses,’ they told me,” Meir recites, “and look what I found: an actual treasure!”
My voice is trembling:
- So you’re the one who took the boy? You’re the one who’s behind all this? You too are a fallen angel?
He raises his arms in the air, the black figure right behind him, like this shadow even larger than him is also raising its arms. Then, their arms swoop down, and everything that’s still on the table, every scrap he crumpled up, starts flying at us like bullets amid this terrible silence.
Rose is screaming.
Instinctively, I jump and roll over her, both protecting her and moving into a firing position, so that I can aim directly at Meir.
Meir is watching me. I feel I am bleeding in several places, but I am still holding my Glock steady. My adrenaline is pumping, and I can feel my heart about to burst right out of my rib cage.
Why I am getting so nauseous? Why is this happening all over again? Why is this happening to me?
Meir is looking right at me. “Haven’t you learnt your lesson already? Last time you tried to pick up one of these,” he points at the pistol, “Against one of my brethren, it didn’t quite turn out like you had anticipated.”
His voice—well, actually, it’s not his voice, but rather the voice of some demon who had possessed Meir’s body and is using it to speak—sounds dry and hoarse.
He sounds so disdainful, too.
Meir lifts his arm and makes this kind of pulling motion, aimed at the gun I’m holding.
I feel a pull coming from my Glock, which is mostly polymer, but a small part of which does consist of metal—which, according to what Rabbi Daniel had explained, is a material the demon can control.
He frowns when he sees I am still holding on to my gun, so he makes another attempt to pull it towards him and out of my hands.
