by Eden Rose
“Yo, is this going to be awkward?” Baron asks me and starts unbuttoning Jerry’s jeans.
She moans and it makes me think about seeing her face in between Liz’s thighs. Why the hell did he have to bring her home? It makes me think about Liz even more and it’s pissing me off. My dick begs to come out and play but I refuse to take it out. This is a bad fucking night.
“Nah. Just take it to your room, bro.”
I focus back on the tv and wonder what Liz is up to. God damn it. I broke shit off with her but I’m still thinking about her. My fingers pull up the tracker again and then I yell at myself. I’m a fucking stalker.
Liz
We’re at a quaint diner and I’m seated next to Kurt. He’s being very attentive but I know he’s trying to get in my pants. I’m so drunk that I’m going to let him do it. Garrett’s got me so messed up and it’s ridiculous.
“So, tell me something about yourself.”
I shiver as Kurt’s voice runs over my body. “Well, I fuck girls and guys.” That’s a little much, but it’s out there.
I feel the button on my jeans pop open and he’s sticking his hand in my pants. My eyes close and I focus on the conversation that is happening around me, but I’m focusing on Garrett. In my mind, I’m fucking Garrett. When I open my eyes, I see that I’m not with Garrett but with someone else.
We leave the diner shortly after we stuff our faces. It’s shitty ass food, but it is what it is.
*
I wait until after Audrey has fallen asleep before I creep out of the bed. The guilt of everything is eating away at me and I can’t stand it. My thoughts are wrapped around Garrett and I drank him out of my mind. Yeah. I tried at least. There’s no amount of liquor that could do that.
I’m a whore and I fucked some guy in a pool while my best friend was in the hot tub. God. Is there anything lower than me? I doubt it. I’m pretty much smaller than an ant.
I slip out of her bed and tip toe to my phone in my purse. With a quick look over my shoulder, I notice that Audrey’s still asleep. It’s obvious that she really likes Damien and I’m so happy for her. I just hope that the both of them are able to be honest with each other. I would hate to have to slit the throat of my best friend’s boyfriend.
After waking up my phone, I pop a seat on the couch and pick up her kitten. She’s the most talkative fucking animal ever. I cuddle her to my chest and call Garrett. He sends me to voicemail. I call again. Again, voicemail. I call again. This time he picks up.
“What?” His voice is gruffy and still so sexy.
“Hi.”
There’s rustling in the background. Oh shit. I didn’t think about whether or not he would be with a girl. “Are you with someone?” I blurt and curse all of the booze I drank.
“No, but if I were why would you care? Plus, why are you calling me so late?” I hate the harshness of his voice. It’s killing me.
“I decided since I can’t sleep, you can’t either.” It’s a childish answer, but it’s the truth.
“Cut the shit, Liz. What do you want?”
And the dam breaks. “I slept with someone tonight. I’m so sorry, I don’t know why-”
“Fuck!” Garrett yells and then I hear a smash. “Are you really fucking calling me at 11 at night to tell me you fucked someone? Did you even wait for my cum to dry in you? Are you that fucking horny that you just had to fuck someone? God damn it!”
Tears roll down my face and sobs take over my body. “I’m so-”
“Sorry? You’re sorry? That’s fucking funny. What is it with you? How many people were you fucking while I fucked you? Four? Five? Ten? What is your fucking problem?”
I deserve his hatred but my mouth runs off with out being able to stop it. “I’m so sorry. Garrett. I feel so guilty. I think I’m in love with you. Ple-” Words and strings of words are falling out of my mouth and I didn’t even mean to confess that I may be in love with him. Oh God!
“No! You don’t get to do that to me. Fuck you, Liz.”
Click.
My body curls around the kitten and I hold her close to me. My phone glows in the dark and I feel my body shake. I’m a whore and I did this to myself. I sabotaged everything only because I wanted to be free. Here I am, I’m free and I’m so alone. Even with my best friend in the other room, I’m still alone.
I call Jerry and she sends me to voicemail. I wonder if she’s pissed at me too. The past few days, she hasn’t called or texted and I’m thinking everyone is pissed at me. I call Matt and he also fucking sends me to voicemail.
I’m free and alone. Fuck me.
Garrett
I don’t think I have ever been this pissed at someone. Liz has destroyed me and I hate her and I hate myself. Why the fuck did I think something could happen? I have no idea.
My phone shatters on the wall and I jump from the noise. Baron yells from the other room at me and I hear Jerry scream. “What the fuck is your problem?”
“Mother fucking bitch! She fucked someone and then called me. Who does that?”
Jerry looks at Baron and I look at how she is naked. Not like I haven’t seen her naked before, but it’s fucking awkward. “Liz?”
“Who else? Bro, give it up. Find an Amanda or a Kate… Stay away from the name. Don’t forget, we’re picking up Audrey on Monday.”
“Do you mind covering up?” I say and throw my head in Jerry’s direction. I’m hoping she takes her ass in the bedroom because I don’t need her to see me explode my shit all of the house.
“Oops!” She runs down the hall and comes back with a sheet wrapped around her body. It doesn’t hide her curvy figure but at least her nipples are standing proud in the air conditioning. “You really liked her, didn’t you?”
I throw my head back and fall onto the couch. “Yeah, I guess I did.”
Baron sits next to me and Jerry sits on the other side. I’m surrounded by them and it’s weird as hell. My brother claps my shoulder and nods his head. “It’s about time that you felt something for someone else but it must be weird for you…”
“What do you mean?” I ask and look at the blank TV. My brain is not computing the scene and what is actually happening. “I’m so tired, Baron. Have you ever been this tired? Shit. Maybe you have the right idea in re-uping.”
He shrugs and throws his arm over my shoulder. Even though he’s a whore, I like how he can be real with me like this. “It was only a matter of time before you felt something for someone and it’s pretty convenient that you feel something for someone who considers herself to be free.”
Jerry looks over me and at Baron. “Liz hasn’t been with a guy since I’ve started fucking with her and I know that it took a lot for her to get to this level with someone.”
“B, I can’t do this again. I don’t have the war to lose myself in and I don’t fucking want to deal with it all over again.” Normally I’m not this emotional but Liz has got me all worked up and I’m about to kill someone.
He stands up and steps over me to hold his hand out to Jerry. “Well, you don’t have to worry about Jerry anymore. She’s only fucking me now.” She stands up with him and he wraps his arm around her shoulders. “But, I will say this. No bitch is worth you reliving that crap with the old Liz. I don’t care how hot they are. Toxic is toxic and this is pretty fucking toxic. Find out what you’re going to do before it’s too late.”
*
The past two days I have thought of nothing but Liz. I’m pissed as hell at her but all I want to do is call her and see how she’s doing. Baron and I are in the car on the way to go pick up our sister.
Audrey looks so different than she did when she left and I’m tempted to tell her that she can’t go back. “Baby sister! We’ve missed you!” I yell as I pick her up and swirl her around.
Baron’s next and she’s laughing as her hair flies around. “I’ve missed you guys too! Ready for me to see the house?”
While we are driving home, I’m feeling like the worst brother ever. I should be list
ening to her tell us about her new job and everything but all I can think about is Liz. I know she’s back in town and I want to talk to her.
Do I tell her to forget about everything and never talk to me again? Can I call myself a pussy because that’s what I’m acting like. This is ridiculous. I’m being ridiculous. What the hell is going on with me?
*
We’ve allowed Audrey enough time to get settled in the guest bedroom and she’s putting her shit away. I decided that I need to get her a good present for her birthday but I have no idea what to get her. It’s falls on the day after the trial and I want her to know that she’s still my number one.
“I’ll be back!” I holler and drive around downtown to find a good store. I walk aimlessly around downtown and stop in a bar. It feels good to be out in public and I get to lose myself in the public. I know it’s weird, but my shit doesn’t seem to bother me so bad when I’m out in public. If I’m honest, I’m not really searching for a present, but I’m trying to get out of my head.
It’s one of those bars that a lot of cops go into and I notice that it’s pretty slow. The waitress with a nice rack comes over to take my order. She’s always flirting with me, and I’m tempted to get her number until I look at her name tag.
Liz.
Fuck.
“Never mind. Bye.”
Why the hell can’t I get away from that name? Everywhere I go, there’s a Liz and it’s pissing me the hell off. The worst part about it is that I’m going to see her tonight and I have to act like nothing is wrong. Audrey will sure the hell pick up on me being pissed at Liz so I can’t glare at her as much as I would like to.
*
The excited chatter of Audrey and Baron makes me feel better about my shitty day. They are talking happily about how he’s seeing someone new and how he can’t wait for her to meet Jerry. I wonder if I should tell Audrey that Jerry is Liz’s girlfriend.
Fuck. See, there I go again.
*
Mom shows up to have some quality time with Audrey and I can tell that she’s not pleased about it. So, Baron and I leave to go to the restaurant and Audrey is going to meet us there in a little bit.
“Are you going to be cool with Liz? You know she’s going to be there.”
I shrug and shift my truck. “It is what it is. I want to fuck her and kill her all at the same time. I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I want to… Fuck.”
Baron shrugs and looks out the window. “Are you sure you’re okay with coming?”
“This is for Audrey so I’m gonna suck it up.”
We pull up to the restaurant and I say my name to the hostess. She’s a pretty girl with big boobs and a big white smile. I love the smile, it makes girls seem younger. Now, I sound like a pedophile.
My body turns rigid when I notice that Liz is not alone. She did not fucking bring the guy she fucked with her to dinner. Oh, hell no. “Who’s this?” Baron asks and sits next to him. I sit the farthest away from Liz and try not to look at her.
The preppy guy thrusts his hand out to Baron and then me. “Damien Alexander. I’m Audrey’s boss and boyfriend.”
There’s something about him and I know him. I want to punch him in his throat as I realize who he is and what he did in my troop a few years ago. My brother is the one that places him before I can say anything. “Army.”
Damien’s M.O.D was to interrogate criminals of war and he did it with force. I can never forget the scene of him pulling off a man’s fingernails because he wouldn’t talk about something that would help us. I’ve been in war, I’ve seen brothers kill brothers, but that was intense for me. And now he’s with my sister?
I don’t miss his wince and I want to play on it. He just has to fuck with everything that is mine. Doesn’t he? He had to fuck with my ex-fiance and now my sister. Can’t he find someone else to fuck? Why is he dancing around my people?
“Look- I-” Damien is glaring at me and I see that Liz is trying to keep up with what is happening. I’m ignoring her questioning glances and staring at Damien.
Audrey comes prancing in and gives all of us hugs and then stops dead in her tracks. It’s obvious that she had no idea that Damien was going to be here. I find it entertaining to watch him back peddle. To my horror, he’s dragging her out of the restaurant and the three of us are staring at each other.
“I’m going to the bar. Be back soon,” Baron says and strolls off to the bar without a care in the world.
I look down at my beer and avoid the looks that Liz is shooting me. “Garrett, I’m so-”
“No.” I’m not allowing her to talk. Nope. Fuck no.
Liz
There’s tears forming in my eyes and I want to run and hold onto him. I have missed him so much and there is nothing I can do because he hates me. He really fucking hates me. “Please. Please, listen to me.”
“How could you fuck someone and then call me? What did you expect from me? What?” Each word gets a little louder and I wince more and more.
Deciding to go for broke, I’m going to be honest and lay it out. Even though I’m worried, I hope he listens to what I’m saying. “I’m sorry. The things I feel for you don’t make sense… I’ve tried to be independent and I-”
“What? You what? You are in love with me?” His eyes are wide and brown with anger and his face is serious. He’s intimidating while staring at me and it makes me feel nervous and anxious.
I stare at my placemat and think about what to say to make any of this better. “I think I am…”
He slams his hand down on the table and I jump. “God damn it, Liz. What the fuck did you expect from me? You slept with someone the minute you leave the state. And then- then- and-”
Slowly, I get off of my seat and walk in front of him in the restaurant. All I need is someone to recognize me as the governor’s daughter and call the press. This would make for a fantastic article. “Please, I’m so sorry. I promise… Whatever you want from me, I will do it- Please!”
I’m putting what happened in high school away and I’m going to focus on Garrett. My stupid old boyfriend doesn’t matter to me anymore and I’m going to try and be with Garrett. God! I’m so freaked out!
Garrett throws my hand off of his shoulder that I didn’t even realize was there and he looks at me. “Anything? You will do it?”
I nod and begin to wonder what the hell I did to deserve this. All of these years, I have spent being independent and now I’m begging my best friend’s brother to forgive me. My, my, my. How the mighty have fallen. Despite being in the restaurant, I situate myself on his lap and wrap my arms around his neck.
It was in this moment that I know I needed to do something drastic and it is killing me. How can I have spent so many years since high school and college being alone? The mere thought of being alone now is ripping me up. What’s happening to me?
“Fine. You need to stop going to the club and stop fucking around. If we are going to do this, we are doing it whole. No half ass. You get me?”
I nod hard and wipe the tears off of my cheeks. “I missed you,” I whisper and kiss his lips gently.
Garrett grips my back and he dives his tongue in my mouth. I glide mine on his and we begin a dirty dance in our mouths. “Tell me again.”
“Tell you what?”
He kisses along my jaw. “That you love me.”
I look at him, the same brown eyes as my best friend and dive my hands in his hair. “I like you.” I’m not ready to say those words and he’s going to have to deal with what he gets. There’s no way I can say it out loud again. I’ve never said them to another person besides my parents and it’s scary. Really fucking scary.
“Uh, guys. It’s cool that Mom and Dad are back together, but Damien just stormed away.”
We break and he pushes me off of his lap. “Mother fucker. I’m going to kill him.”
*
Garrett waits until Audrey is sleeping before he comes and carries me out of the guest bed. I wrap my arms around his neck
and allow him to carry me to his room. I look around it and it’s bare. The walls are tan and the sheets are blue. It’s manly and smells like him. Fresh water and a light mint smell. My pussy floods with juice.
He gently deposits me on the bed, and takes his clothes off while staring at me. I like it because it makes me feel adored. I’ve never felt this loved before and even though he hasn’t said it yet, I know he feels that way for me.
I take mine off and look at him. My shirt flows to the floor and I slip my shorts off and I’m naked. Ever so slightly, I open my legs for him to see my shaved pussy.
