Anna opened her eyes, blinking up at the ceiling. Within seconds she remembered seeing Gabriel and sprang up into a sitting position. Gabriel. He was here. Her heart pounded. He was holding his daughter. Rocking back and forth, he patted her back as she snuggled into his neck.
“Anna.”
She drew her knees up to her chest. All the hours and days she'd practiced what she'd say to him if she ever saw him again... the words flew out of her mind. There was nothing. No words. He stared at her. His eyes traveled over her. She pushed back her hair and pulled her sweater tighter. She knew what he saw. Her clothes hung off her, but that didn't matter. She was too exhausted to care what he thought of her. She wasn't important. Gabrielle was. She pulled her legs up onto the old couch and hugged them as she watched the man she loved hold her entire world. Tears rolled from her eyes. She didn't try to stop them, and still, she couldn't find the words to tell him why. So, she said nothing.
“Talk to me, Anna,” he pleaded softly.
She breathed a ragged sigh and dropped her forehead onto her knees. Tell him what? That Craig was going to kill them? That as soon as he left for another mission, the man would come after them? That by finding them, he'd signed their death certificates?
“Anna, who takes care of you here?”
She raised her head and looked at him. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“You have lived here for almost a year. Who takes care of you?”
“I don’t understand. I live here by myself. Well, until Gabrielle was born.”
“How did you get to the hospital? Was it the blonde at the clothier store?”
“I delivered her here with a midwife. She was never at a hospital, nor was I. I paid for the one doctor’s appointment I had in cash and gave a false name. I had to keep her safe.”
“You are telling me you only had one appointment with a doctor, and you and a midwife delivered my daughter in the middle of nowhere?”
“Yes.” Her head dropped, and she closed her eyes. He was mad. That was her worst fear. He was going to take Gabrielle from her. “How did you find me?”
“The county filed her birth certificate in a database. It flowed into the federal system, and because you gave her my last name, it was quarantined as a possible threat. I tracked you to this area. This morning I saw the saddle you crafted on display at the clothier on Main Street. The woman there told me where you live.”
Anna nodded and sighed. “She's your daughter. I couldn't deprive her of her father’s name. That would have been wrong. The midwife told me the county didn't have a computer system, that the county only kept paper copies.” Tears rolled slowly down her cheeks.
“That would have been wrong? Keeping my last name from her is the only thing in this scenario you found to be wrong?” Gabriel's low growl of disbelief reverberated around the small room.
“No, there is a hell of a lot wrong in this scenario. Do you want to start pointing fingers? I've had a lot of time to assign blame, and do you know who gets the lion's share?”
Gabriel closed his eyes, still rocking as his hand rubbed Gabrielle's back. “Me.”
She blinked and then snorted. “Not even close. You missed that mark by a mile. Craig McNair is the one to blame. He's the one who threatened my life. He's the one who will lie in wait until you go on another mission and then come after Gabrielle and me. Why couldn't you just leave us alone?” Her tirade fizzled, and she closed her eyes, sending more tears down her cheeks. “We were safe.”
Gabriel stopped rocking until his daughter squawked a bit. The motion started again. “You should have told me. You should have come to me.”
“I couldn't,” she whispered. “He threatened my family and friends, Jackie, and Deacon. He told me he'd kill me and hurt them if I tried to contact you through them. I saw his eyes. I saw the truth in his threats. When it was only me, I was willing to wait until you came home. Then I found out I was pregnant. I wanted her because she was a part of you. I had to protect both of you. You from me, and her from him. McNair said he would kill me. If he’d known about her, he would have killed her too.” She tried desperately to stop the silent sobs that shook her body, but her heart was breaking all over again. “He said you couldn't always be with me and that he would find a way to kill me.” Between her sobs, she pleaded, “Oh God, David, please leave before he finds out. Don’t let him find us!”
Gabriel stood up with the baby still in his arms. He walked to the couch and sat down beside her. She tried to become smaller and shrink further into the arm of the couch. “Anna, Craig is dead.”
Anna jerked back. “What? When? How?”
“He was killed on an assignment almost nine months ago. He was the only member of my staff I never vetted. Hell, I’ve spent the last twenty years with the man. I thought I knew everything there was to know about him. But after his death, I found some… things. I had my people dig into his past while we were looking for you. The results were eye-opening. Craig was gay.
“His father forced him into a military academy to ‘cure’ him. The old man still spews rabid homosexual slurs. He refused to go to Craig’s funeral. The Guardian psychiatrists Craig worked with swore he never gave any indication of his sexual orientation, but I found his journals after he died. Craig was in love with me. I believe he became violent because he was jealous. I have been so blind. I couldn’t see what he felt for me, or maybe I just didn’t want to see the truth. Regardless, I failed him and I failed you.”
She stared at him. Craig loving Gabriel made sense. That he was jealous made sense… but it still didn’t explain or excuse his extreme violence. “You didn’t fail him. He may have loved you, but his violence and hatred weren’t your creation.”
She sat very still and played the past nine months through her mind. All the sacrifices, the loneliness, the fear... she shook her head. Was all of it for nothing? She stared around the room. There could only be one reason for Gabriel to be here now. She sniffed and wiped her nose on the sleeve of her shirt. She knew why Gabriel was here. She'd been bracing herself for the possibility ever since she’d found out she was pregnant.
Anna nodded. “All right.”
Gabriel's brow wrinkled. “All right, what?”
Anna forced herself to meet his eyes in direct communication. “You came to take her back with you.” It was a statement, not a question.
If possible, the furrows in Gabriel's brow deepened as he spoke, “Explain that statement.”
“The argument you had with Craig in your office the night you left, before he came downstairs and… did what he did… I heard it. He said I couldn't protect a child of yours from your enemies. You have come to take her away from me.” Her voice was barely reached a whisper.
“Anna, is she my daughter?”
She stared at him in shock. Offended and hurt didn't even start to cover the emotions his question raised. “Of course she is!”
“Then yes, Anna, I am going to take my daughter.”
She dropped her head to her knees. The blow of his words hit so much harder than what her imagination had constructed.
“But I am also taking the woman I love.”
She did not move. She couldn't. Did he say the words, or had she imagined them?
“Did you hear me?”
She nodded her head slowly up and down.
“Anna talk to me.”
Gabriel's words tempted her, hit her most fervent yearnings, but she shook her head slowly. “No, I can’t go back with you.”
“Why not?”
She looked up at him, her eyes focused somewhere behind him. If she looked at him, she'd fall apart. “I can't, because I won't trap you into loving me.”
“Trap me?”
She nodded. “I won't use her as a tool to keep you. You have Guardian. You have a greater mission in your life. It isn't me. If Craig is gone, I'll go back to Colorado. I don't want anything from you. I’ll be fine. I’ll never tell anyone she’s yours. You can keep her safe.”
&n
bsp; “You don't want anything from me?” The question was low, almost inaudible to her ears.
“No. I won't ask for a dime. You know that.”
“I've used all the resources of Guardian to search for you. Anna, you haven't trapped me. I love you. The trap I've fallen into is the pain I have lived with for the last nine months thinking you could be dead. It is the misery I endured the first moment I discovered you'd disappeared and every moment thereafter that you stayed gone. I went insane thinking you did not want to be with me anymore. The trap I've been suffering through is knowing that if you didn’t come back, my life would not be worth living. I love you. I think I always have, ever since that first night in Colorado years ago. I know I love you now, and if I hadn’t been sure before, when I picked up my daughter and saw your beauty in her, it would have ended any doubt. My family isn't a trap. You're my life.”
Gabriel extended his hand to her. She reached out and took his hand, pulling herself toward him. He folded her in his arm and held both of them. She lost the battle to be stoic. Lost the desire to be strong. Crumbling against him, she clutched his shirt in her fists, and she sobbed. Razor-like shards of worry, happiness, relief, despair, and vulnerability coalesced, and she was powerless to escape the emotions she'd held in check for almost a year. He held her as she broke apart. It took a long time before she could breathe without crying. Gabriel kept her against him, kept the monsters of the past year at bay and anchored her within his loving embrace. She sighed and snuggled closer, reveling in his quiet strength. She pulled away, wiping the last of her tears and smiled, still nervous and a little unsure.
“How did you survive here?”
Anna sighed, “I have what I need.”
“You have three or four shirts, two pairs of jeans and a drawer of underwear. There is very little adult food in the kitchen. What is there is mostly baby formula. Why, Anna?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know how to explain it. I don’t need for anything, and I don’t eat much. Gabrielle’s the important one. All the money I have, needed to be for her. I had to budget it so she would have everything she needs, and I planned on staying here for the rest of our lives. I didn’t mind.”
Gabrielle squeaked and stretched on his chest. He rubbed her back as she moved.
As much as she didn't want to move from the warmth of Gabriel's hold, she knew Gabrielle would start fussing soon. “She'll be hungry. I'll go warm up a bottle.”
Gabriel extended his hand and helped her stand. He watched as she walked into the kitchen. She was painfully thin. Gabrielle started to fuss and sucked on her fists. He put a blanket over her and his shoulder to keep the chill of the kitchen off her and walked out to watch Anna fill the bottle. He could not help but notice how tired she looked.
Her hands shook as she worked.
“You don't wear my ring anymore.”
She looked up at him for a second before she shrugged. “I lost a little bit of weight, and it kept slipping off. I was afraid I would lose it.” She reached around her neck and pulled a chain up from under her shirt. The ring was suspended from the chain. “I'd never willingly take it off.”
He watched as Anna tested the bottle to make sure it wasn't too warm. She put her arms out for the baby. He lowered the squirming bundle from his shoulder and placed her in Anna’s arms. All her fatigue seemed to vanish as she gazed into Gabrielle’s face. She smiled up at him, the first smile he had seen since he’d arrived. “She looks just like you.”
“Poor little girl.”
She laughed. “Lucky little girl.”
Anna fed her, changed her, and moved into the living room to put her down in the bassinet. He followed. The sun was starting to set. An awkwardness settled over them.
Gabriel pulled her against him and inhaled the scent of her hair, felt the warmth of her body. “I missed you so fucking much.”
“I thought I was doing the right thing.” She leaned against him.
He looked down at her. “You did what you thought you had to do, and you protected our daughter. You're a strong, wonderful woman, and a fantastic mom. I love you so damn much.”
“And I love you.” She lifted her head and stood on her tiptoes.
He took her invitation. His lips possessed hers gently and tenderly. She responded initially but pulled away.
“What is it?” He wasn't going to hope things would pick up exactly where they'd left off. If she needed time, he'd give it to her.
“I'm not on the pill. If we made love, I could get pregnant again.”
“And that would be a problem how?”
“Other than having two babies in diapers under two? No problem.”
“You won't be doing it by yourself. I'll be there.”
“Until you leave again.” She ducked her head, hiding her eyes from him.
“I'm not leaving again. Except for rare occasions, I plan on being by your side.”
“No more missions?”
“No. I'll leave that to the men who volunteer for the assignments. We'll train the best to lead, and I'll manage from Guardian's headquarters.
She smiled softly and pressed closer to him, feeling his warmth, absorbing his presence. He picked her up and carried her to the twin bed where they made love as if they were strangers, rediscovering every nuance of their bodies together.
His lips traveled over her too-thin form. He kissed three stretch marks that ran across her lower belly. “Beautiful,” he murmured and held her hands when she tried to hide them.
“They aren't,” she whispered.
He lifted from where he rested between her legs, his hand cradling her hip. “You're wrong. These marks are beautiful. They show me how much you loved me. How much you loved our daughter. Beauty isn't what is found on the skin, it's what's found in the heart. To me, you are the most beautiful woman in the world.”
Anna's hand traced his cheek. “I do love you.”
He rose over her and centered at her core. “I'll never let anyone hurt you again. I solemnly vow to you and to our family, you will always be my first priority. No matter what or who threatens you, I will always keep you safe.”
He claimed her in the way that completed both of them. He thrust into her, feeling her tight body clench around him. She was his home, his sanity, and his world. Her legs circled the back of his thighs.
“More,” she whispered against his ear.
He lifted onto his elbows and stared down at her as he thrust harder into her heat. He'd give her the sun in the sky, or all the planets in heaven, if she asked. His Anna. Selfless, protective, fierce. The woman who stole his heart and handed it back to him fuller and more content then he could ever have imagined.
He felt her body tighten in a convulsive squeeze around his cock. The sensations swept him over the cliff. White-hot pleasure pulsed through his body, but this moment was more than a physical release. This moment sealed them together as a family. They may not have exchanged vows, but they'd both sacrificed and suffered in ways few people would understand. He wouldn't risk losing her again.
As he lay in the aftermath of their lovemaking with Anna folded on top of him, Gabrielle fussed. Anna slid off him and went to the bassinet. He watched as she gathered the babe in her arms and brought her back to the bed with her. Gabriel shifted, making room on the twin bed for both of them. His back pushed up against the cold exterior wall. Anna crawled into the crook of his arm, and he flattened onto his back with Gabrielle on his chest. Anna lifted the comforter over all three of them. Gabby settled down, sucking her fist as she sank back into slumber. He kissed his baby’s head and smiled into the dark room. In his arms was everything important in life. His family.
Epilogue
Present day
David Xavier stood at the back door of a massive stone and timber ranch house overlooking the vast Colorado Rockies. The telephone call had shaken him. They'd been dealt a rough hand when he and Anna had started out, but nothing like this had ever touched him or his family. He thanked God for that
mercy.
He walked out onto the expansive deck. The winter chill didn't register as ghosts from the past still haunted him. He'd married Anna after leaving the little house in Wyoming. He’d wanted to buy her a huge diamond ring, but she’d refused. She still wore the simple, silver-white band with his initials engraved in it.
His identical twin boys, Ronan and Deacon, had been born one year and four months after Gabrielle was born, but their entrance into the world was in a very expensive private hospital with a cast of thousands working to ensure them a healthy arrival.
He recalled watching Gabrielle playing with her two border collies in the meadow that served as their backyard. Her long black hair would fly behind her in a ponytail. He remembered thinking he was going to be trouble someday. She’d grown up to be an absolute beauty, and he still hadn’t quite figured out how to keep every male on the planet away from her for the rest of her life. His mind's eye reconstructed many occasions when movement in the aspens would indicate trouble. Ronan and Deacon would sneak through the woods with their homemade bows and pretend to shoot at anything that moved—human or animal. They were masters at tormenting their older sister, just as they were fierce protectors of their younger sister.
He chuckled as he recalled how the twins would launch from the woods with a scream and chase Gabrielle. She'd shriek and bolt toward the stairs, barely outrunning them. His memories of her flying up the stairs, grabbing his legs, and hiding behind him brought a smile to his lips. When they were younger, he'd grabbed both of boys, one in each arm, and swung them around before he took them back down the stairs and dropped to his knees. The boys loved a good wrestling match, and he allowed them to push him to the ground. Ronan would lie on his chest and Deacon on his legs while Gabrielle pounded the ground beside him. “One, Two, Three! Pinned! They won, Daddy!” The boys stood and did muscle poses. Their childhood laughter echoed in his mind, but was long absent from this home. Children had a way of growing up and striking out on their own—as much as you might like to hold them forever close and protect them.
Gabriel (Guardian Defenders Book 1) Page 40
