A fair amount of time had passed since she’d parted ways with Travis and Millie. A nervous twitch skittered across the cheeks of her bottom at the thought of what might be happening to her dear cousin.
Much as she knew Millie’s actions had been rash and wrong and unladylike, Josie couldn’t help but chuckle replaying the scene in her mind. She was lucky to have a loyal friend like Millie, even if she did sometimes offer her support in not quite the best way.
The words of Miss Ryan and Pastor Ellis brought out her stubborn streak. “I’ll show them.” She picked up her sewing and stitched on her wedding dress with renewed vigor. As she sewed and worried about her cousin, she recalled a time when she’d been in a similar situation.
They were strolling on a Sunday afternoon after church when Clinton pulled her into the livery stable. He led her into the darkened building, and she smiled and turned to him eagerly. She ached to be in his arms, but with all the people out strolling on a pretty spring Sunday, they’d been forced to behave. Not that Clinton was likely to flaunt the rules of society, anyway, but Josie had held out hope for at least a few stolen kisses. He worked hard all week, and she barely got a chance to see him. Now that they were engaged, Aunt Joyce allowed Clinton to sit next to her in the family pew, but there was no touching. Sometimes Josie thought that was actually worse. She could see his powerful thigh inches away from hers, heat emanating off it, or so it seemed. Her fingers itched to rest on the taut muscles. It didn’t help that Pastor Ellis’ sermon, or what she heard of it, was on the sin of impulsiveness.
After church, they went for a stroll and, as they walked, Josie was nearly on fire with yearning to be alone with Clinton and, when he directed them into the stable, she assumed he thought the same.
But it soon became clear he had something else on his mind. “I understand you and Millie got into your uncle’s whiskey the other night while your aunt and uncle were away.” The deep timbre of his voice made her lady parts heat.
“Y-yes. Ho-how did you know about that?” She asked the question, but she had a pretty good idea of the answer. Travis had stopped by that evening to check on them because he knew the girls would be alone. He was as bad as Clinton with his protectiveness.
“You know darn well Travis told me all about it. Said you two smelled like a whiskey barrel.”
“It’s not illegal for us to have a drink,” she replied, hackles raised.
“No, but if it was an acceptable thing to do, why did you wait to do it until just you and Millie were at home?”
Dang. She didn’t have much of an answer for that. Trying to distract him, she rested her hand on his chest and stepped closer. “It’s nice to be alone, don’t you think?” She raised her face to his, inviting his kiss.
“It is nice to be alone, Josie. It’s a shame you behaved badly because now, we’ll have to spend these few stolen moments seeing to your discipline instead of more pleasurable things.”
Josie pulled back, her hand falling to her side. “D-discipline? What are you talking about, Clinton?”
He took her hand and walked over to a stack of hay bales, sat down, and drew her to sit on his knee. “Now, Josie, you know good and well that I won’t put up with nonsense and disobedience in my wife. Might as well make that clear to you now so you know what to expect once you’re legally mine.”
“B-but, you never said I couldn’t drink.”
“No, I didn’t. But I have told you to be careful of your reputation and Millie’s, too. What if someone had stopped by the store in an emergency and found the two of you tipsy?”
Josie sighed. She hadn’t thought of that. “I’m sorry.”
“That’s a good step. Now, let’s get on with this before some other man has to bring his naughty girl in here for a lecture and correction.” He positioned her over his lap and rested his hand on the small of her back. “When we are married, you’ll get your punishment on the bare.”
Josie gasped at his scandalous words. His hand slipped over the cheeks of her bottom, and even through the layers of her skirt she could feel the heat of his palm. Nerves skittered through her, and her womanly parts came awake in a most determined manner. She sighed and enjoyed the closeness of his body.
And then the spanking began. Despite her skirts, his hand landed with firm swats all over her backside.
“Clinton, it hurts.”
“You didn’t think I’d do this by half measures, now, did you?” He chuckled and continued heating up her backside until it felt like she was sitting on top of Aunt Joyce’s stove.
“There.” Clinton raised her up and held her against his chest. “That’s my good girl.” He reached into his pocket, pulled out a crisp handkerchief, and wiped away the tears on her cheeks. When he was done, he kissed her temple and then her cheek and finally her lips, in a tender kiss full of the promise of things to come.
Josie’s reverie was interrupted when Millie returned to the room, subdued.
“What happened?” she whispered.
“He spanked me! Can you believe it?” Millie was indignant.
“What I can’t believe is that he hasn’t done it before.” Josie laughed, set a pillow on the chair next to her, and patted it. “Sit down.”
Millie moved gingerly across the small room and lowered herself onto the chair.
“Has Clinton, um, you know...sp-spanked you?” Millie whispered the words.
“A couple of times. I would imagine that if he was in town now, I’d have been right next to you in the stable getting my bottom warmed.”
Millie looked at her for a moment and then started to laugh. Josie joined her.
“I have a feeling we are both in for plenty of spankings in the years to come.”
“I hope so.” Josie turned melancholy. “Oh, Millie. What if …what if…” She couldn’t even say the words. Her throat tightened up, and she leaned into her cousin, resting her head on her shoulder.
Millie patted Josie’s back. “I’m sorry for the things those others have said. But they don’t know Clinton like you do. If ever there was a man of his word, it’s Clinton. He’ll be here.”
The storm lasted all that night, but, by Sunday, the weather had cleared, and Josie felt optimistic as she sat in the family pew. Now that they were officially engaged, Travis was permitted to sit with the family, though Uncle Carl kept a close eye on the couple. Based on the glances the two of them exchanged, it was clear whatever had transpired in the stable earlier in the week had cleared the air. They were a couple in love and, though she was thrilled for them, Josie couldn’t help wishing Clinton was there, too.
This week’s sermon was about faith, and she couldn’t help but wonder if her words to Pastor Ellis had had an effect on his choice of topic. Regardless, his words this morning were a balm to her soul, and she set aside her worries and focused on the future.
The sanctuary had been decorated for Christmas with pine boughs, and the scent filled the small church. She had finished her wedding dress Saturday afternoon then modeled it for Millie and Aunt Joyce, both of whom declared it to be the most beautiful dress they had ever seen.
Deep in her heart, she knew it was only a matter of time before Clinton returned home. Maybe next Sunday he would be joining them in the family pew. Her mind had wandered to happy thoughts of her reunion with Clinton when Aunt Joyce elbowed her to refocus her attention on Pastor Ellis.
“I now publish the banns of marriage between Josie Lawson and Clinton Ramsey of Juniper Junction. If anyone knows of any cause or impediment to their marriage, speak now. This is the first reading of this request.”
Josie’s face flushed hot, and her pulse pounded. She’d never had her name announced in church, and hearing the words declaring she and Clinton were to be married filled her with awe. She really was going to be married. And soon. She smiled and held her head high.
“Clinton Ramsey? Ain’t he missing?” a little boy’s voice carried through the entire church, and Josie’s face went from hot to cold.
&nb
sp; The boy’s mother shushed him, but the words had been spoken and heard by everyone in town. Pastor Ellis cleared his throat and then continued with the service.
Later, on their way out of church, it seemed that no one wanted to make eye contact with her, although she caught several people whispering behind their hands while looking at her, like that made it any less obvious.
She touched the star necklace around her neck. Oh, Clinton, where are you?
Chapter 9
Twice more the banns were read in church. Still no Clinton. At least, after the first reading, Josie knew what to expect and had braced herself when the announcement was made. Although there were no additional outbursts, by the final reading, Josie’s nerves were raw. The whispers around town had increased. More than anything, she hated the pitying looks people gave her. Like she was the village fool.
It was three days until Christmas—and her wedding. The general store bustled with people picking up Christmas gifts. Aunt Joyce, as well as Millie and Josie when they had time, had been baking like crazy. The whole general store smelled of gingerbread.
Usually, Christmas was Josie’s favorite holiday, and she could hardly wait until it was time to start the baking and decorating that signified the beginning of the most wonderful time of the year. But this year, with Clinton out there somewhere—she refused to use the M word—missing—she just couldn’t find the same joy she had every other year.
Though she went through the motions and smiled and did her best to appear cheerful and full of holiday spirit, she knew her worry brought a pall over the general store and even extended to some customers.
This morning, it had gotten so bad, Aunt Joyce suggested Josie stay in the kitchen and tend to the baking rather than waiting on customers.
As Christmas drew nearer, the whole town took on a festive feel. People snuck into the general store to pick up gifts they’d ordered weeks before. Though she had finished all the dresses she’d promised for holiday parties, Josie kept herself busy by making small purses and hair bands that had proven popular with customers.
She’d set aside a tidy sum over the past few weeks. If only Clinton would return, the little house would be theirs.
In addition to her worries about her beloved, she hated the idea of missing out on the house. Josie refused to consider the possibility that Clinton would never return, though she had begun to believe—much to her annoyance—that Miss Ryan might be correct. If the pass was snowed shut, Clinton might not return to Juniper Junction until spring.
Oh lord. How would she ever survive that long not knowing his fate?
Where could he be? Was he safe and warm?
Her nightmares about him had continued, and even Uncle Carl had looked at her with concern, asking about the dark circles under her eyes.
Josie was falling apart at the seams.
There was still the matter of the food for her wedding celebration. Nothing fancy, at least a cake and some hot beverages for folks after the ceremony. Neither Aunt Joyce nor Millie had mentioned those tasks. Josie knew they didn’t wish to upset her. Besides, though it had been a prosperous few months at the general store, there was no point in wasting money on all that frippery, as nasty Miss Ryan would say, if there would be no wedding.
Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
The words she had hurled at Pastor Ellis came back to mock her.
Well, she would not lose faith. With determination, she got out the mixing bowls and cake ingredients.
By the time she poured the batter into the pans, her mood had improved. Keeping busy helped. While the cake baked, she got out the broom and dustpan and tidied up the kitchen.
“Wow.” Millie stopped short as she walked into the kitchen. “You’ve been busy.” She sniffed the air. “Something smells wonderful.”
“Wedding cake,” Josie replied, tipping her chin up a bit in defiance and bracing herself for Millie’s response. Though her cousin had been a loyal defender, as Miss Ryan could attest, she also had not uttered a word about wedding preparations in the last week or more. Josie couldn’t blame her. She wasn’t sure how she’d react if the situation was reversed.
“Oh.” Millie took a seat at the table and picked up a fresh cookie from the cooling rack. Josie watched as Millie nibbled the cookie. She already suspected she was being foolish and, if Millie thought so too, well, Josie honestly wasn’t sure how she’d react.
She’d held herself together pretty well, except for that conversation with Pastor Ellis, and, truth be told, she was exhausted, physically and emotionally. Her entire life, all the plans and dreams she had, sat on the edge of a precipice, and the smallest breeze would send it crashing down.
Millie finished the cookie without saying anything then stood up and put on her apron. “Well, we’d best get busy.”
It was December 24th. Christmas Eve. The day before her wedding.
Despite her best efforts at maintaining her faith in Clinton, as the minutes and hours ticked by, her hope dwindled away. The wedding cake was decorated and sitting on her grandmother’s cake plate, one of the few items that had survived the long trip to the West. When she’d finished decorating the cake a couple days ago, she’d admired it and seen it as a symbol of faith, hope, and, well, love.
Now when she saw it sitting on the sideboard with the other baked goods, it mocked her. It was as though the frosted confection embodied all her doubts as well as those of all the naysayers she’d encountered: Miss Ryan, Pastor Ellis, some unidentified young boy in church, to name a few.
When she’d entered the kitchen to make breakfast, Aunt Joyce was waiting for her. “What are you doing up so early?” Josie asked. “Is there something else to be done? Why don’t you go back to rest, or at least put your feet up and let me take care of it.” She moved around the kitchen in a rush, getting out the breakfast fixings and putting the coffee on.
“No, Josie, there’s nothing else to be done. Thank you for offering.” Something in her aunt’s tone gave Josie pause, and she stopped and looked at Aunt Joyce, noting the sadness in her eyes. “Come and sit with me for a minute, Josie.” She patted the seat next to her.
Josie had a feeling she knew what this was about and, though she appreciated her aunt taking the time to get up early to speak to her privately, there was still a pit of dread in Josie’s stomach as she joined her aunt at the table.
Aunt Joyce studied her for a moment, her gaze full of love and kindness. She brushed the hair back from Josie’s temple in a tender gesture. “You know, Josie, I’ve always tried to treat you like you were my own daughter, just as I would treat Millie.”
“I know,” Josie whispered. “You and Uncle Carl have been wonderful to me, and I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it.”
“Hush, now.” Aunt Joyce’s eye glistened with unshed tears. “It has been our honor to care for you.” She paused for a moment and glanced away. “Your mama was my dear sister, and when she wrote and told me your family was headed this way, I couldn’t have been happier. Though we had a good life here in Juniper Junction, I longed to have more of my family, especially my sister, nearby. I knew it would be a difficult trip for your family, but I had faith you’d all arrive safely.”
A cold chill, not from the winter weather, ran through Josie. She’d never once thought about what it had been like for Aunt Joyce and Uncle Carl when her parents had died, other than that they had taken her in.
“As the time went by, I grew excited knowing my sister and her family would arrive soon. I daydreamed about all the good times we would have, raising our daughters together to be as close as sisters, just like we were.” Aunt Joyce smiled wistfully. “But,” she said, a tiny tear dropping from her eye, “that was not how it turned out. Though our daughters did become as close as sisters, it didn’t happen the way I had planned.”
Aunt Joyce wiped away the tear on her cheek. “Sometimes”—she clasped Josie’s hand—“things don’t go the way we plan. As I’ve wa
tched you waiting for Clinton all these months, it reminded me of the time I spent waiting for your family to arrive and how eagerness turned to anxiety and then to heartbreak.”
“D-do you kn-know something I don’t, Aunt Joyce?” Josie could barely get the words out. She feared the answer but had to ask.
“No, nothing official, dear. Nothing about Clinton. I’m just trying to say that maybe things aren’t going to turn out just the way you planned.” She paused again. “I know you are hurting. We all are. I just wanted to say that maybe it’s time to put your plans on hold. Until Clinton gets back,” she added hastily.
By now, both women were crying.
“I know you’re right.” Josie sniffled and blew her nose. “It just feels like I am giving up on Clinton, and I hate that. It makes me feel disloyal. He would never give up on me.”
“No, I’m sure he wouldn’t. But he also wouldn’t want you missing out on your favorite holiday just because circumstances have kept him from being here.”
“I suppose you are right,” Josie agreed.
“Let’s just focus on the meaning of Christmas,” her aunt said, “and the rest will fall into place.”
Though she had expected to feel horrible for postponing the wedding, an odd sense of calm came over Josie. Aunt Joyce offered to tell Pastor Ellis, but Josie did that task herself. She had not spoken privately with the pastor since that scene after the quilting society meeting, and she anticipated eating a large helping of crow, but that was not the case. The pastor was surprisingly kind and understanding. For the first time in a long time, she left the church feeling uplifted.
There were some last-minute shoppers at the general store when she returned, and she hurried to assist them and get them on their way. The store would close at noon that day and not reopen until after Christmas. Traditionally, the closing and locking of the front door had been cause for celebration in their small household. It was a rare indulgence to be closed for a day and a half, since the rest of the year they were open six days every week. On those rare occasions when Christmas fell on a Saturday, they had an entire weekend free of store duties, and it was so decadent, sometimes Josie felt guilty.
Newlywed Christmas (Brides of Juniper Junction Book 4) Page 16
