by Lee Savino
"Hello, Tribute Pareena." Arkdhem smiles at me and steps forward, offering his hand. "It is nice to meet you." I take it and he pumps it up and down three times in very controlled movements. From the proud expression on Dawn's face as she watches the interaction, I'm guessing she taught him how to shake hands. It is pretty cute how he makes it somehow overly formal.
"Nice to meet you too. Um... I guess, do you two want to sit down?" I gesture toward the couch thing.
"I will, but Arkdhem is going to go get us some food," Dawn says, smiling brilliantly at him. "Right?"
"Nothing with meat, please," I say automatically. It hadn't even occurred to me earlier when Bogdan had brought me food. Of course, since it's my brain creating the menu, that makes sense.
"That's right, you're a vegetarian?" Dawn asks, still beaming at me. Arkdhem doesn't say anything, just tilts his head and listens to our conversation. "Are you Hindu? Is that why?"
"I'm more spiritual than religious, but yes, my parents were vegetarians and so I was raised that way. I did try some meat when I was a rebellious teenager, but I never actually liked any of it and eating something I didn't like for the sake of rebellion didn't appeal to me, so I just went back to being a vegetarian." I smile at the memory. My parents hadn't known about my illicit meat intake, but that hadn't been the point. It was better they hadn't known. If they had and disapproved, I probably would have felt compelled to keep eating it.
Dawn claps her hands excitedly. "Oh, I'm so excited! Maybe we can do yoga together?" The expression on my face must have communicated my complete disinterest in the practice.
"I'm more of a runner," I said. At least, I had been, before the cancer. I liked movement. Going places. Staying in one place and breathing in different poses had been about as appealing as eating a meal of meat. Meditation is good for the soul, but I tended to find my meditative state on park pathways with my feet pounding against the earth and the sounds of nature all around me.
"Oh..." Dawn looks a little crestfallen. "I used to teach yoga... if you'd be interested in learning." She glances at Arkdhem. "And maybe we can figure out a path through one of the cargo bays or something." She looks back at me. "Unless you do sprints?"
Arkdhem looks confused. "Running? From what? There is no need to run from anything here. I will protect you."
Oh geez. Dawn covers her mouth as she begins to giggle helplessly, and she shrugs at me.
"Um, running for fun and exercise," I try to explain. "Just... just to run." Arkdhem looks more confused. My stomach chooses that moment to let out an embarrassingly large growl.
"Okay, I'll try to explain later," Dawn says, patting his arm. "Go get us some food for now?"
"Yes, Dawn." He smiles down at her, bringing his fist up to his chest, before exiting back out the door.
Then Dawn's stance changes entirely, to one of uncertainty, and she takes a deep breath as she meets my gaze.
"Okay, so now that we're alone, I have a confession to make," she says, the words coming out in a rush. "And if you hate me afterwards I totally understand although I hope you won't because you seem really nice and we're both stuck here and it would really suck if the only other human in this part of the galaxy hates my guts, but I don't want to start off a friendship with a lie. It's my fault you're here."
9
Pareena
I blink, trying to process Dawn's confession. Her fault that I'm here?
Here where? Stuck in my head? Is this some kind of manifestation of whatever part of my body is responsible for my cancer? Or possibly a manifestation of my id, confessing that it's sent me into a coma dream of my deepest sexual fantasy?
"I don't understand."
She takes another deep breath, visibly steeling herself. Every line of her body reveals how anxious she is, and I have to stifle my urge to immediately reassure her that everything is fine when I'm not sure what she's talking about.
"I was the first Tribute. I meant to fight, to escape, but... well, it's not exactly easy," she says, hunching in on herself a little. I can practically see the guilt weighing her down. "I've been here for weeks and I still don't see a way, or I would totally help you."
"It's okay," I say soothingly, automatically shifting to the tone I’d always used with distressed clients. In the back of my mind, a part of me wonders exactly how Dawn’s confession fits into this dream. Maybe some portion of me feels guilty over not accepting the reality of my impending death? "We can't always escape the situations we find ourselves in. Sometimes all we can do is make the best of where we are, and there's nothing wrong with that. You're one human, on a ship filled with warriors, alien technology, and no help. No sane person would expect you to be able to escape from that."
Because winning the fight against overwhelming odds doesn’t always work. Not everyone could be David and Goliath. Sometimes, you were Braveheart or Boadicea and that is just part of life.
Dawn fidgets in her seat, wringing her hands in front of her. "But... when I realized I couldn't escape, and I couldn't keep them from abducting more women, I helped them choose you. You fit all the parameters, you were dying, we could save you... I was so excited because I wouldn't be alone anymore and even though the Jabol matched you with Bogdan, I thought, ‘hey that has to be better than dying, right?’”
I sit up a little straighter, frowning at this insult to Bogdan. "What's wrong with Bogdan?"
Hearing my indignation, her eyes widen, and she holds up her hands in front of her in a placating manner. "Nothing!" Then she shakes her head. "No, that's not true, we're going for honesty here." She looks at me curiously. "He didn't exactly want a Tribute. In fact he's been the most outspoken against it. Actually, he's been the only warrior against it. Some of them don't seem interested in having a Tribute, but he's the only one who actively tried to stop the program. And... okay, I'm just going to say it—he's kind of a dick."
Maybe, but he is my dick, and so I can't help but feel a little pang in my chest when she says he didn't want a Tribute. That explains a lot, actually.
Except... wait, it only explains it if this is real. Why would my ideal fantasy be a hot alien who doesn't actually want me?
"Oh God, I'm sorry, I'm making things worse, aren't I?" Dawn asks, looking miserable. "Look, maybe we should talk about something else. Bogdan is a hardass but he's come around. I haven't heard him say a single thing against the program in days. I mean, not that I talk to him that much but—never mind. Still not helping. Want to talk about Earth? I miss being on a planet so bad, traveling in space seems really cool but I miss weather, and animals, and television. They've got a decent selection of spanking books here, but that's about it, and I try not to encourage Gavrill to pay too much attention to those because then he gets ideas that I don't need him to have. The hot sex makes up for a lot, but I still just miss home, you know?"
I blink. Most humans don't refer to anything other than intercourse as sex anymore. If they mean oral, they say so. "Hot sex? Like, actual penis in vagina sex?"
She gives me a strange look. "Well, yeah."
"Bogdan hasn't actually had sex with me," I admit, a pit opening up in the center of my stomach. I put my hand over it. He didn't actually want a Tribute... if we don't have sex, will we bond the way we're supposed to? Is this his way of keeping me at arm's length?
Dawn gapes at me. "Then what have you two been doing in here?"
"Pretty much everything else. He uses his hands, his mouth, the training belt... but I haven't even seen his dick," I confess. Normally I wouldn't be this open with a stranger, but this is different. If this is real, Dawn is the only other human around, and if it's all in my head, then she's just part of my subconscious.
"Oooo, they're so weird! They kinda look like a cobra snake, and they have tentacles instead of pubic hair, and the tentacles have little suckers on the end that feel amazing." Dawn looks thrilled at being able to impart this knowledge and I can't help but feel envious at the way her eyes go glassy at some memory.
&nbs
p; Except that it's not really her memory, right? So it has to just be a manifestation of what I want sex with Bogdan to be like.
So maybe some part of my brain just wants me to have to work for it?
Who knew coma dreams could be so complicated?
Bogdan
With Tribute Dawn on her way to entertain my Tribute, I find myself walking to the training arena. It is constantly filled with warriors, working to keep their skills sharp, so I know it will be easy to find a sparring partner. Working off the excess energy that my Tribute has left me with sounds appealing. Not nearly as appealing as working off the energy with her and actually finding a release... but since I can't bring myself to do that yet, I might as well do this.
A good sparring session should help clear my mind as well. I must refocus myself on my duties, my people, my vengeance. Then I can return to my Tribute with a clear mind. Perhaps that will help me control myself with her. At least long enough to reconcile my duty with my memories of Harai.
Entering the training arena, I immediately head to the sparring mats. This is one of the biggest rooms on the ship and, other than the dining hall, often the fullest. Today is no exception. I am aware of my fellow warriors pausing to look at me. I do not need to hear their whispered words to guess that they are wondering why I am here rather than with my Tribute.
As soon as I reach the sparring mats, Jakar and Volim, who have just finished a bout, approach me, curiosity in their eyes although it is not reflected in their armor. They have superb control over their emotions.
"Commander." They both salute.
"I did not expect to see you here," Jakar says, giving me the option of explaining my presence or of shrugging his comment away. Those warriors within hearing distance all pause, waiting to see if I will answer. While Volim is not interested in a Tribute, Jakar is and I cannot help but think that perhaps he is hoping I might not keep Tribute Pareena. I have been vocal in my protests against the program, even if I agreed to do my duty once she was assigned to me.
The idea of her being reassigned to someone else, even an honorable warrior like Jakar, sends a flash of jealous heat through me. He would be a better choice than Arkdhem, but yet... I cannot bear the thought of it. She is mine. My body feels it even as my mind and heart struggle.
"Tribute Dawn wanted to meet her," I say by way of explanation. It is close enough to the truth and it appeases all the listening ears. I see several nods out of the corner of my eye. Jakar and Volim chuckle and nod their heads in understanding as well, before moving off.
Since her arrival, Tribute Dawn has disrupted the natural order of things on the ship more and more every day. There is a reason Tsenturion Warriors did not take mates until they were ready to cease their military duties. Our lives are split into parts—childhood, service, and then mating and family. Trying to combine our service with mates and family is not only unwise, it is against the manner of our people, but the High Commander has spoken, and I seem to be the only one truly against the Tributes program.
Although, my feelings on that are now mixed too.
How could they not be when my Tribute was saved from death by the program? The idea of a universe without my Tribute in it is too uncomfortable to contemplate. I grit my teeth, eyes moving around the mats until I see Polixan looking back at me. He jerks his chin up at me and I move to his mat, my armor sliding down to the short pants.
Tsenturions do not fight in armor unless they mean to kill.
Pareena
As Dawn tells me the details of the Tributes Program, half-reluctant and half-anxious for my approval, Arkdhem returns with our food. The tray contains a lot of the same things that Bogdan brought me before, but some new things to try as well. All of it is delicious.
"So, you convinced them to only take women who are about to die, but you still feel guilty?" I ask, prompting her to talk more about the emotions I see playing across her face.
"I can definitely tell you used to be a shrink," she says with a strained laugh. She sighs. "Yes, I still feel guilty. I mean, technically we give them a choice with the survey, but who would actually believe that they're risking alien abduction? Did you?"
"Well, no..." I admit, thinking back to it. I'd thought it was a distraction, that answering might lead to something else which would entertain me and keep me from thinking about how weak and ill I felt and my impending death. Then I'd fallen asleep into this coma dream. Or I'd actually been abducted by aliens. Was it weird that I was starting to think the latter might actually be a real possibility?
Yeah, super weird.
That's how detached from reality I've become.
Maybe I shouldn't have taken Dumbledore's words so seriously.
"I did the best I could." Dawn sighs and looks at me with miserable eyes. "Do you forgive me?"
"Of course!" I say it immediately, firmly. I'm not surprised she asked. Dawn is wallowing in guilt over my presence, especially because having another human on board ship makes her so very happy.
"See, I said you were worried for nothing," Arkdhem chimes in, smiling at Dawn and nudging her with his elbow. There is something brotherly about his manner with her, which makes me smile. He is much more relaxed than Bogdan. He turns to look at me. "She has been fretting for days now, vacillating back and forth between being very excited and very anxious about your arrival. It has been most unpleasant." The last part is said in a teasing manner, which makes me laugh as Dawn groans and rolls her eyes.
"He's not wrong," she admits, sighing and setting down her empty plate. She looks around the room. "So... I kind of thought Bogdan would be back by now, if I'm being honest. I'd say we should give you a tour of the ship, but I don't want him to come back to an empty room. Find out where he is?" I blink before realizing she's asking Arkdhem, not me, to locate Bogdan.
Tilting his head as if listening to something we can't hear, Arkdhem nods his head after a few moments. "He is sparring with Polixan in the training arena. Would you like to go meet him there?"
"Yes!" Dawn's eyes light up. She grins widely at me. "Trust me, you're going to want to see this."
"Okay." I have to admit, I'm very curious now just because of her reaction. And it would be nice to see more of the ship and the Tsenturion warriors. Maybe I can see or find something that will help me determine whether this is a coma dream or reality.
Maybe it doesn't really make too much of a difference in the end, as long as it feels real, but I still want to know.
Bogdan
As Polixan and I hit and kick at each other, I can hear the warriors around us talking. Their words flow over me, but I will contemplate them later. The Vgotha are eluding us again. We have picked up another trail, but it is leading in a direction that no one expected. Everyone is worried because the Vgotha have been acting out of character for weeks now. Even before Tribute Dawn joined us. She insists that the Vgotha leader wants to meet with the High Commander, but no one believed her.
Now, after weeks without action, the warriors are starting to wonder if there was some truth to her words. We have never gone this long without a battle and it has everyone on edge. That my Tribute has joined us, a second representation of the hope for our future, a few of them are starting to wonder if perhaps we should try to speak with them. I shake my head, but the words do not impact my emotions. I am too focused on keeping Polixan outside of my guard. I will contemplate their words later.
But then I almost fall over when I feel my Tribute's presence impinge on my consciousness, allowing Polixan to get in a harder blow to my shoulder than he should have been able to land. For a moment, I think I must be imagining things, because I shouldn't be able to actually feel her without the bond, which we do not have. Then I realize it must be her nanotech, alerting me, and I have just confused it with thinking I can feel her.
A murmur sweeps across the arena and Polixan steps backs, turning to see what everyone is looking at. Swallowing a grimace, I turn as well.
Possessiveness sweeps through me when
I see my Tribute making her way across the arena, Tribute Dawn at her side and Arkdhem walking just behind them. He is watching over them as if they both belong to him. It does not bother the High Commander that Arkdhem treats Tribute Dawn so familiarly, but I feel my ire rise at seeing him do the same with my Tribute. He reeks of desperation and I curse myself for leaving my Tribute in his care. I should have heeded my instinct not to trust him.
What did they talk about? Did he say anything to her about me? Would he try to turn her against me?
There are a multitude of eyes now on my Tribute, admiring her, and she is looking back at them. Not just looking, admiring.
Pushing down a snarl, I stalk toward them. Seeing me coming, my Tribute's dark eyes open wide and her gaze travels over my body, her tongue flicking out across her lower lip. I can feel her arousal surge and I send a quick order to the training belt. It begins a low hum against her flesh, and she gasps.
As I come closer, Tribute Dawn frowns, sidling next to my Tribute. "What's wrong, Bogdan?"
"You should not be here," I growl, glowering at Arkdhem and addressing him rather than Tribute Dawn. "You did not ask my leave to remove my Tribute from my quarters."
Arkdhem just stares back at me insolently as Tribute Dawn's mouth drops open in indignation. "She's an adult, meathead!" Tribute Dawn says. "She doesn't need to ask permission to go anywhere!"
"She does, and he needs my leave to escort her," I respond, still glaring at Arkdhem. On Tsentur, no unmated male would escort another male's mate unless they were family, or her mate had agreed to it. I had allowed him to accompany Tribute Dawn to my room, because the High Commander had set him as her guard, but that assent did not extend to leaving my room with him.
