by Maya Banks
He shuddered violently, nausea swirling in his stomach all over again.
“I’ll never forget those six hours for as long as I live.”
He prowled closer to her, trying to contain his rioting emotions, but he was fast losing that battle.
“As. Long. As. I. Live. Jenna. I’ll never forget. I’ll always remember waking up to find you gone and knowing in my gut that something was horribly wrong.”
She had a faintly puzzled look in her eyes and her lips were turned down into a forlorn frown.
“I explained why I did it,” she said quietly, glancing down as she knotted her fingers together, twisting them in agitation. “I did it to keep all of you safe. I’m not even paying you, Isaac, and you told me yourself this is your job—I mean it’s what you do. You protect people. DSS is a company and companies have to make money. I may not know much about the real world and how it works, but I do know that much,” she said, slight bitterness to her tone. “Not only was I a drain on your personnel and your business, but I was also putting every single one of you at risk of dying, because we all know they aren’t going to kill me. At least not until they get what they want, and even then, why would they get rid of me when they could have use for me at any time? The rest of you are expendable. Killing you is nothing to them and only puts them one step closer to their objective. Me.”
She cocked her head, sending him a look of pure confusion mixed with deep, unrelenting sadness. She looked so dejected that he wanted to howl because it seemed nothing he said got through, nothing he did made her happy or smile, and she was a woman meant for sunshine and laughter.
“I would think that every single one of you would be glad to see me go. Do you think Caleb, Beau, Zack or Wade want to lose their wives? Or that the Devereauxs want to lose their sister? Do you think any of your teammates want to die for a woman they don’t even know who’s giving them no incentive to take on the task of protecting her? You can’t just stop everything and focus the full resources of your company on me.”
“The hell I can’t!” Isaac roared, making her jump. He stared at her, completely agape, unbelieving of all that had just come out of her mouth. “My God, woman, you just don’t get it.”
He tilted his head back, lifting his gaze to the ceiling. He roughly massaged his nape while wiping wearily at his eyes with his other hand.
“Jesus,” he muttered, shaking his head. He was momentarily speechless, unsure of what the hell to say in response to the crap she’d just stated. Worse was the fact that she believed every word of it. This was the single most important battle of his life, and he was losing so fucking badly it wasn’t even funny.
She stared at him in utter bewilderment. “What? What don’t I get, Isaac? I don’t understand any of this. I don’t know the rules or much about anything in the real world. I’m doing the best I can, but I don’t know what I’m supposed to do or think or feel!”
He closed the last few steps between them, pulling her into his arms and then sliding his hands up her body to frame her face so she was forced to look at him and unable to turn away. He put every bit of what he felt into his words, willing them to sink in, for her to understand and to accept what he had to say.
His expression was fierce, his actions were fierce, but he poured every ounce of love he had for this woman into every word, every facet of his expression and in his gaze, willing her to finally see the heart of him, because God only knew he was standing in front of her naked and as vulnerable as a man could ever be. He was perilously close to dropping to his knees and begging.
He let it all go. He made no effort to temper his tone, his emotions, or even pretend to have a calm, rational conversation. He wanted to yell to the world that he loved her so damn much that it defied all rational thought or action. He didn’t give one fuck if the entire floor heard his heated declaration just as long as the one person who mattered heard it. Really heard it. He wanted her to feel it.
“What you don’t get is that I care about you, Jenna. I care so much it’s killing me. The thought of being apart from you hurts. The idea that I can’t protect you, that I’ve failed you, that destroys me!”
Her eyes were twin mirrors of shock and she went completely still in his hands.
“I’m in so deep that there’s no way I’ll ever dig my way out, and baby, I’m right where I want to be. So far inside you that you’ll never be free of me. I want to make love to you with a desperation that’s eating me alive and consumes my every waking thought. I want to take you bare, with nothing between us so we’re skin to skin, as close as two people can ever be. I want to give you a baby. My baby. So you’ll be bound to me forever with no way of ever escaping me. I love the image of you round and swollen with my child, of me loving you forever. Of building a family with you. I want to keep you pregnant all the time so you’ll never even think about leaving me because you’ll be wrapped up in me and all the babies I’m going to give you.
“I’ll take such good care of you, honey,” he said, caressing his hands over her cheeks, his words and expression pleading with her for understanding and acceptance. “No one will ever love you more than I will. There is nothing I won’t do to keep you happy and safe every single day for the rest of our lives. I’ll give you the moon if you ask me for it. I’ll give you anything you ever wanted or dreamed of except . . .”
He dropped one hand from her face and dragged it raggedly through his hair, shame crowding his thoughts, but he’d long since lost any sense of shame or pride when it came to her.
“I won’t let you go,” he said in a voice clogged with emotion and worry as he waited for her to condemn him with a look. For fear or disappointment to fill her beautiful blue eyes and baby-fine features. He steeled himself for rejection, even as he barged forward, determined for her to have it all. Every single truth as he laid his soul bare.
“I can’t give you that, baby. That’s the only thing I’ll ever deny you, because God help me, I’m a selfish bastard and it would kill me to ever let you walk away.”
He sucked in a deep breath and then let her see exactly the kind of man he was. Selfish. Determined. And so fucking in love that she filled every empty void he’d hidden, refused to acknowledge and had accepted as a permanent, aching part of him.
“If I have to, I’ll tie you to my bed every night so I never have to worry about you leaving me. I’ll do anything to keep you. No matter what it takes or what lengths I have to go to. I’ll give you the world, your heart’s desire, and I just pray that your heart’s desire is never to be free of me because that’s the one thing I can’t give you. Your freedom. I can’t, Jenna. I wish I were a better man, but fuck it. If being a better man means just letting you walk away from me then I don’t want to be that man.
“God, I’m such a bastard to even think that way, much less say it out loud, when you’ve been a prisoner for damn near your entire life, and yet here I am locking you up again and refusing to free you. But honey, it will be the sweetest of prisons. I swear on my life that I’ll spoil you ridiculously and pamper and take care of you and love you so damn much that you never look at it for what it is—a prison—but instead you’ll only see your forever home. And a man who loves you more than life.”
He grew more serious, his eyes boring intently into hers. He knew this was everything. That nothing would ever be more important than this moment. No job, no mission would ever be this necessary for his survival.
“I’ll protect you with my life. You and our children. I’ll never let evil touch you again. I’ll bust my ass every damn day we have together to give you everything you could possibly ever wish for, and the only reward I’ll ever want or need is your smile and your happiness. For those things, I’ll kill myself working to make it happen. Everything I ever do from this day forward is for you, baby. Only. Always. For you.”
She looked overcome with emotion, hot tears running like rivers down her face, colliding with his hand, falling too fast for him to wipe them away.
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Oh hell no. She wasn’t apologizing. He silenced her with a kiss, molding his lips hotly to hers, licking at the seam of her mouth until she opened for him. He delved inward, stroking, tasting, savoring and absorbing the very essence of her. He pulled her close, so there was no space between them, his palm on the back of her head, holding her right where he wanted while he plundered her mouth in an endless kiss.
Nothing had ever felt—tasted—so sweet. Nothing had ever been so . . . perfect . . . as the feel of her in his arms, her small, soft body melting into his. He wanted a lifetime of these moments, holding her as tightly as possible and savoring their closeness. God, please give me this. He knew he’d sworn never to ask for more than for her to be safe, unharmed, and for him to get her back, but he had to make one last plea. For her to be his forever.
“Don’t ever be sorry,” he said fiercely, as he finally pulled away. He stroked her cheeks with his thumbs, soaking in every aspect of her delicate features and a beauty that shone so brightly from the inside out that it was blinding. “Don’t ever look back. Never again. Only forward. Give me a chance to make you happy and to make you love me. I’ll wait forever if that’s what it takes, because in the end, hearing those words from you, no matter how long it takes, in that moment, it will all have been worth it.”
“I already do love you,” she choked out around the emotion clogging her throat. “I’ve loved you from the first moment I touched you. Show me your love, Isaac. Please. Show me how it’s supposed to be. You’ve given me the words. Now give me the act itself.”
EIGHTEEN
ISAAC froze, his hands that were still framing her beautiful face trembled as he soaked in the most beautiful words he’d ever heard in his life. He couldn’t breathe. The knot in his throat was so huge, it was choking him and cutting off his ability to suck in air. His heart raced, pounding the inside of his chest like a jackhammer and his eyelids burned like they were on fire.
“Are you sure, my sweet angel?” he finally managed to rasp out, the words stuttering over numb lips. “Because just knowing you love me is enough. It will always be enough. If you aren’t ready for me to make love to you then we’ll wait. I’ll wait. For as long as it takes until you’re sure that this—that I’m—what you want. We have forever.”
Jenna cupped her hands over his, then turned, sliding her mouth into the palm that had been cradling her cheek. She closed her eyes and pressed a tiny kiss into his large hand and simply held on to him, holding his hands in place against her face.
“You’re the only thing I’m sure of, the only solid thing in my life. You’re the only thing I’ve ever been certain of after so many years of fear, hopelessness and uncertainty. I may not have ever witnessed what love looks like, but I know what love isn’t. I also know that I’ve never felt the way I feel right now about anyone else but you. So yes, Isaac, I’m ready. I’ve been waiting for you my entire life. Don’t make me wait any longer,” she pleaded as she nuzzled even further into his palm, peppering tiny kisses everywhere her lips touched.
Isaac was overcome and it took him a moment to regain his composure and to swallow back the wave of emotion that unsteadied him. He blinked away the tears that made his vision blurry. Then, still cupping her face, he lowered his mouth to hers, kissing her with tenderness he didn’t even know he possessed.
“I’ll go slow and I’ll be gentle, baby,” he whispered. “The last thing I want to do is hurt you but . . . ”
He was tormented by the fact that, regardless of how slow or easy he was with her, he would hurt her. She was untouched by any man, a virgin. If that wasn’t enough, she was tiny and delicate and he was a large, hulking man who could so easily crush her without even realizing it.
His dick was rigid, swelling painfully against the confines of his pants, and he groaned. He was big everywhere. How the hell would she ever be able to take him? There was also the fact that he was on the verge of coming right now, and he wasn’t even close to being inside her. He doubted he’d get much more than the head of his erection inside her before he came all over her. How was that supposed to be good for her? The last thing he wanted was for her introduction to making love to be over with in two seconds and wondering if that was all there was to it.
Christ, he had to get it together. And for now, he was leaving his damn pants on. He had to make this special for her. He wanted to make it good, wanted her to come screaming his name in pleasure.
He drew away, sliding his hands from her face down the length of her body until he got to the hem of her shirt. He slipped his fingers underneath but halted and stared into her eyes.
“I’m going to undress you, baby. I don’t want you to be scared or embarrassed. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my life and I intend to show you just how beautiful I think you are. But if I ever go too fast, if I ever do anything that frightens you, let me know and I’ll stop and take it down a notch and then we’ll work up to it again until you feel comfortable enough to keep moving forward, okay?”
“Okay,” she whispered, licking her lip nervously.
He regarded her seriously, making certain she was meeting his eyes with her gaze. “Promise me, sweet angel. We have all the time in the world. Promise me you’ll tell me if you’re afraid, if anything I do hurts you or if you just want to stop or take a break for a while.”
She smiled back at him and it was as if the entire room was suddenly bathed in sunshine. He felt the warmth to his bones, felt it enter his bloodstream and quickly travel throughout his entire body.
“I promise,” she said.
He began lifting her shirt, inching it upward, his eyes never leaving hers so he could be certain she was with him the whole way and that no panic ever entered her expression. When he had her shirt up over her breasts, he paused again.
“Lift your arms up,” he said huskily.
Slowly she lifted them until they were above her head. He quickly pulled the shirt up her arms and over her head until it was free of her body. He tossed it aside and then slid his hands around her hips, tugging her toward him. She fell back, so she was flat on the bed, her hair spread out in a cascade of curls. He fumbled with the snap of her jeans and shakily unzipped the fly. As he began inching the denim down over her hips, he rose above her and leaned down, pressing his lips to her soft belly.
She flinched and what sounded like a moan escaped her lips. He nuzzled her navel, chuckling when she shivered uncontrollably and chill bumps erupted and danced across her skin. As he continued to kiss, lick and nip her belly, he pulled her pants further down. He broke away from her only long enough to impatiently disentangle the pants from her feet.
He nudged her legs apart, staring down at the sheer panties that covered the one part of her he was dying to taste. He wanted to make her come in his mouth. He wanted to show her how good he could make her feel so she would be completely limp and sated before he ever pushed into her.
He crawled up past her knees and then reached down and pressed one finger over her underwear, right between the puffy lips of her pussy. He groaned.
“You’re so wet for me, baby. All that sweetness is just waiting for me to lap up.”
Jenna blushed bright red, but her eyes were glazed with passion. She looked almost drunk with her swollen lips, tousled hair and hazy eyes. She stared back at him and then she surprised him.
“Yes, Isaac, it’s all for you. Only you.”
Oh hell. His dick jerked to the point of pain and he could feel moisture coating the inside of his underwear as he fought an epic battle not to come right then and there. He put one hand to his groin and squeezed hard, sucking in several steadying breaths.
Jenna cocked her head to the side, confusion evident in her expression.
“Why are you in pain?” she asked with a frown.
He let out an unconvincing laugh. “You have no idea, baby. I want you so damn much that just looking at you, you saying those words and me knowing I’m about to finally taste you has me about to come and I haven’t even gotten my damn clothes off yet.”
“Then take them off,” she whispered, her eyes suddenly glowing with curiosity and desire.
He grunted. “Not yet, sweetheart. I’m not going to come all over you before I’ve had a chance to make you feel good. I’m only coming once I’m inside you.”
She flushed again but smiled, her entire face lighting up as she continued to watch him.
He leaned down, pressing his nose and mouth to her damp panties and inhaled her intoxicating, feminine scent. It was heady, the sweetest ambrosia. He closed his eyes, feeling unsteady and drunk as he breathed in as much of her as possible.
“Isaac, please,” she said, her voice strained as she fidgeted beneath him.
He glanced up her body to meet her eyes. “Tell me what you need, baby. You know I’ll give you anything.”
“I need . . . I want . . . please touch me,” she said desperately. “Something is happening but I don’t know what, but I know I need you to touch me to somehow make it better.”
He didn’t tease her or prolong her agony. He ripped her panties, tossing the remnants aside and then he got down lower, using his shoulders to spread her legs wider, until she was completely open to him.
“Hold on baby, because I’m going to devour you,” he growled.
He slid his tongue between her folds and licked upward until he reached her clit and then he swirled the tip in a circular motion around the taut bud. Her entire body went rigid and she cried out sharply but she never asked him to stop.
He traveled lower again and traced the mouth of her tiny opening before finally sliding inside her, his tongue doing exactly what his dick wanted to be doing.
“Oh God, Isaac! What are you doing? What’s happening to me?” she asked in bewilderment.
“Shhh sweetheart,” he soothed. “Don’t fight it. I’m here. All you have to do is let go and trust me. I’ll always be here to catch you.”
“But it feels like I’m going to splinter into a million parts!” she protested.
“I’m only going to make you feel very good,” he said.
He returned to her sweet pussy, lapping and sucking greedily, not wanting to waste a single drop her body gave him. He wanted her to come all over his face, wanted her very first orgasm to be in his mouth. Her second orgasm would be around his dick.
He began tongue fucking her and her moans grew louder. Her legs were trembling and she began bucking almost as if it was more than she could bear. He slid a finger through her soft curls between the plump little lips to her clit and he began stroking it as he continued to have his tongue bathed in her honey.
“Isaac!” she cried, panic in her voice.
“Go with it, Jenna. Trust me. I’ll never do anything that hurts you,” he soothed. “Give it to me. Let it go. Give me what I want.”
Her entire body went rigid and he increased his rhythm and pressure, knowing she was hovering right on the edge of her release. When the trembling increased to the point of frenzy and more liquid rushed onto his tongue, he clamped his mouth over her opening, not wanting to miss a single drop of nectar when she came.
Her back bowed, coming off the mattress, just as a cry echoed through the room. She screamed his name and suddenly she was flooding his mouth with the sweetest taste he’d ever experienced in his life. She flinched and jittered beneath him as he gently brought her down from her orgasm, licking and sucking her quivering flesh, but much more gently than before.
When he’d licked her clean of every single drop, he rose up and then slid over her body, kissing his way over her belly up to her breasts. Her expression was dazed, her eyes glowing with contentment as she lazily watched him worship her breasts. When he closed his mouth over one puckered nipple and sucked it strongly between his teeth, she arched off the bed, her mouth flying open and her eyes lost the dull, lazy satisfaction of just a moment ago.
“Have to get you right to the edge again, baby,” he said in a gruff voice. “I want you right there, just about to come again before I get inside you. The first time, you came in my mouth. This time you’re going to come all over my dick.”
She licked her lips and hunger sparked in her eyes. As he bent to lavish attention on her breasts again, her fingers dug into his shoulders, her nails leaving their mark. He closed his eyes and groaned.
“God yes, baby. Mark me. Claim me just like I’m claiming you.”
He turned his attention to her other breast, licking around the nipple and leaving a moist trail. The deliciously pink tip was pointed outward, rigid and straining as if begging for his mouth. He nipped lightly at it, coaxing it to even further rigidity and then he lightly grazed his teeth from bottom to top before sucking the entire bud into his mouth.
He suckled strongly, finding his rhythm and then switched back to the other one giving it the same treatment. She was writhing beneath him, her hands everywhere on him, leaving marks on his skin that made him want to beat his chest and roar like a Neanderthal.
He kissed and sucked at her tender skin in a path from her breasts to the tender skin of her neck and then up to her ear, sucking the tiny lobe as she shivered uncontrollably under his much larger body. He completely covered her. There wasn’t a single inch of her that wasn’t pressed against his skin. She was a part of him, an essential part of him. The very best part of him. She made him better. Made him want to be a better man. For her. And the children they’d one day have. Never had his future looked as good as it did now and it was all because of an angel’s touch.
His mouth glided up her jaw until finally he captured her mouth again. He slid his tongue inside, sharing the taste of her nectar with her. His dick was screaming at him to take her. To slide so deep inside her that she’d never be free of him. It was swollen and rigid, straining upward so that it lay flat against his stomach.
When he lifted his body off her just a bit, she glanced down and her eyes widened in a mixture of fear and apprehension.
Then she glanced back at him, biting into her lip nervously. “Isaac, this will never work. How are you supposed to fit? You’re so . . . big,” she squeaked out.
Before she could work herself into a complete panic attack, he silenced her with another deep, languid kiss. When they were both breathless again, he released her lips and stared lovingly down into her eyes.
“You were made for me, Jenna. My own sweet angel. I’ll fit. We’ll fit. We will always fit. You’re the other half of my soul, the missing half. And now I can’t tell what part is me and what part is you because we fit so seamlessly. Don’t be afraid, my love. Never be afraid of me. I’ll never intentionally hurt you. It will be uncomfortable for you but only for a few moments and then it will pass and after that I’ll take us both to heaven. Do you trust me?”
She nodded but he could still see the anxiety in her eyes.
He leaned down, kissing her as he slid one hand down between her legs and between her slick folds. She was drenched with need, even after he’d lapped up every bit of her moisture from earlier. He slipped one finger inside her as his mouth trailed back down to her breasts.
She tensed when his finger penetrated her just the tiniest bit but she also clenched around him, another surge of wetness soaking him each time he sucked her -->
