by Harlow James
Hannah’s okay. She’s there on the other side and she knows that I’m doing the best I can. She sees us—Grayson and me—and she’s amazed by our son just as much as I am.
Most importantly, she sees me and Rachel and she’s cheering me on, pushing me to accept love again. And maybe that’s exactly what I needed—the clarification that she supports me, is proud of me, and wants me to be happy.
It’s that fact that hits me. She told me Rachel is made for me, a statement that is hard to accept when I’ve always felt that way about Hannah, never toying with the idea that someone else could fit into my life so seamlessly. But if she helped me see that then it has to mean something. Maybe I am meant to have a love like ours again, the thought bringing a smile to my face as I picture Rachel beside me—her smile, her laugh, her heart. She was everything I never expected, and everything I now know I need.
Rushing to stand, I almost fall over as I reach for my dresser and pull out a pair of athletic shorts, slipping them on before going to the kitchen to make coffee, acknowledging I won’t be going back to sleep after that dream and realization. I stand by the coffeemaker, waiting for the liquid to brew as ideas flash through my mind of how to fix this, how to undo the hurt I caused with my words and my actions. And then it hits me the moment I look up from my feet to the fridge, the picture of Rachel, Grayson, and me from his birthday party flashing brightly in my face.
I know what I need to do, but my words have to be perfect. It’s time to fix the mess I’ve made and give my son the family he deserves.
Chapter 27
Rachel
“Are you sure, Rachel?”
I tuck the last shirt into my suitcase and then pull the zipper closed.
“Yeah, I’m sure. I just need to get away for a few days. Hug my mom. See my brothers and their kids. Maybe going home for a little while will help pull me out of my funk.”
Pfeiffer comes up to me, pulling me into her arms. “You’re not going to decide to stay there, are you?”
As I push away, she searches my eyes. But I honestly don’t have an answer.
“I don’t know. I just know I need space. Every place I go around town just reminds me of Grayson and Luke. I need to mourn that relationship and decide if I’ll be able to handle seeing them everywhere I go, or if I need to just chalk this move up to an adventure full of lessons learned, and move back home.”
Pfeiffer starts crying as we stand there, drawing tears from my own eyes as well. “Having you here has been like having a little piece of home. You’re my person, Rachel. And I honestly think you were meant to be here too, with me.”
“I can’t cry any more, girl. My eyes are burning.” I sniffle as we stare at each other.
“I know. I just hate seeing you like this. Did I tell you that Cash got in his face last week about it?”
“Yeah, and I appreciate that.”
“I’d do it again, too.” Cash stands in the doorway to my room, flashing me a sympathetic grin.
“I know,” I say, turning to him. “Thank you. But ultimately this has to be his decision. And I’m tired of waiting around. I can’t do that, hoping he’ll come to his senses. I have to move on with my life, and I think going home will help me figure out how to do that.”
It’s been two weeks now since Luke and I split, and despite the saying that time heals all wounds, I feel like mine have been getting worse. I barely make it through my shifts at Tony’s without crying, especially once people realized I wasn’t around town with Grayson in tow anymore. Emerson Falls isn’t small, but it isn’t huge either. And after Luke’s display of affection at Tony’s that one night, word spread fast about our relationship. Seems gossip spreads even faster after a break-up.
“Cash. Tell her not to go,” Pfeiffer whines to her husband.
“Piper, babe. She has a right to see her family. She’ll be back. Won’t you, Rach?”
I shrug and then set my suitcase on the ground. “Maybe. I just need to go home first before I decide.”
Striding down the hall with my luggage in tow, the doorbell rings just as I stop.
“Hi. I’m here to pick up Rachel Zanetti.” The young woman waves on the other side of the screen.
“Yes, I’m her. Give me one second. Pfeiffer!” I call for my friend as she runs down the hall and slams into me, hugging me like her life depends on it.
“Don’t be gone for too long,” she whispers in my ear.
“I’ll try. And take care of Jess while I’m gone. I’ll be thinking of her.” Granting her a small smile, I reach for Cash, hugging him quickly and then exit their house, following my Uber driver to her car where we load my luggage and then take off for the airport which is about an hour away.
“Where are you headed?” My driver asks as she glances in the rearview mirror, looking for my eyes. But my eyes are transfixed on the town of Emerson Falls blazing past me in a blur, leaving a solemn feeling in my chest as we cruise.
We pass the park where I took Grayson almost daily so he could run out some of his energy and the grocery store we’d visit each week. The movie theater at the end of the road reminds me of the first night Luke and I crossed that boss-and-employee line, and then I see the signs for the turnout that leads to the college, where the memory of a little boy feeding ducks makes my lips tremble. But then the street you’d turn down to head to their house comes into view next, like a beacon directing me home.
But this isn’t my home—at least it doesn’t feel like it anymore.
“New York,” I curtly reply, finally answering my driver.
“Fun! Business or pleasure?”
“Visiting family.”
“Nice. So have you been here long…” she starts as we come up to MainStreet and Skye’s Creations grabs my attention up ahead on my side of the road. It’s then that I realize I could really use a coffee from Skye’s before I leave. Who knows if I’ll ever get one again?
“Do you mind if we make a pit stop before the airport? We have plenty of time.” Maintaining my need to be early wherever I go, I made sure to leave way before necessary to make my flight.
“Sure. Where to?”
I point out the window to the coffee shop. “Can we actually stop here?”
“Oh, Skye’s? Hell, yes! I could use a caramel delight mocha right now.”
“Me too, girl. Me too.”
As we stand in line to order, I look around the shop, memorizing the small details that I loved about this place—the knickknacks for sale in the corner you can browse while waiting for your drink, the smell of fresh coffee, vanilla, and homemade baked goods made fresh each day, and the sound of the grinder and espresso machine steaming milk as the chatter of the customers gets stifled by the noise. But then the sound of a familiar voice pulls my eyes behind me.
“Rachel!” A flash of blonde hair races towards me and I swear, the tears come on instantaneously.
“Grayson! Oh my goodness! How are you?” I ask as I squeeze him in my arms, taking in his scent that I’ve missed more than I can put into words. I feel his small arms come around my neck as we hold each other close, clinging to a piece of the life I want back desperately.
“I miss you, Rachel. Daddy said you and he had a fight.” As I sit him down on the ground, I swipe my hand across my cheek, moving my dark hair from my eyes and brushing a few tears away in the process.
“Yeah. I guess we did.”
“But he’s making you a present! You need to see it! Grandma?” He turns just as Luke’s mother moves towards us. Apparently she was standing there the entire time, watching our reunion.
“Hi, Catherine.”
“Rachel. You look lovely, hun.” I know she’s just being polite as I glance down at my yoga pants, baggy sweater, and recall my hair being thrown up messily on my head. In my defense, I was headed to the airport and always opt for comfort when I fly.
“Uh, thanks.”
“How have you been?” She asks as the line moves forward and we shuffle our feet, Grayson stil
l clinging to my legs.
“Um, I’ve been better. I’m actually on my way to the airport.”
Her face falls flat. “Wow. Where are you headed?”
“Uh… New York, actually,” I say as her eyes widen.
“Really? For how long?”
“Well, I’m not really sure. I need to see my family and then kind of decide where to go from here…”
She shakes her head and then pulls out her phone as a text dings.
“Rachel! Did you know that the human head weighs eight pounds?” Grayson gleams up at me, pulling my attention back to him. And my laugh is instant, followed by my smile. God, I’ve missed this boy.
“Yes. Did you know that belly buttons grow special hairs to catch lint?” I reply, remembering our morning ritual that Luke quickly helped me memorize.
He nods, grinning from ear to ear. “Did you know that thumbs have their own pulse?”
And now it’s my turn to nod. “I can’t believe that! That is so cool. But did you know…”
“Did you know that I’m a stupid fool that let you walk out of my life?”
The deep familiar voice resonates in my ears as I slowly lift my eyes and see Luke standing behind his son, his mother leaning around him, smiling hopefully.
I move to stand, still holding Grayson’s hand while my heart pounds like a jackhammer.
“No. I didn’t know that. Seems like a fact that could be fiction, though.” Luke standing before me might be my dream come true, but that doesn’t mean that I’m going to let him off easily, even though I’m fighting every fiber in my body to run into his arms and kiss him senseless.
“Okay. Well, did you also know that sometimes when people are scared and someone else makes them face the truth they’ve been avoiding, they can lash out and hurt the ones they care about?”
“Hmmm,” I say, rubbing my finger along my chin. “That seems a bit more plausible.”
And then he moves closer, eliminating the distance between us as Grayson peers up at us both, his eyes so alive with hope and love.
“Rachel!” He shouts as the bustle of the coffee shop around us fades away while Luke’s dark eyes stare down into mine, holding me captive and speechless for a moment.
“Yes, Grayson?”
“Did you know that my Daddy is really sorry about your fight and he wants to kiss you to make up?”
Luke and I both chuckle while continuing to look at each other before I drop my eyes to Grayson. “Is that right?”
“Yup. Because that’s what grown-ups do when they fight. They kiss and make up.”
“Seems legit. You should probably listen to the five-year-old.” Luke winks at me and then reaches for my hand. I faintly hear Catherine call Grayson over to her while Luke’s hands move up to frame my face.
“I miss you,” he whispers, bending down to kiss my cheek. The flurry of electricity that courses through my body at just that simple touch makes my pulse race.
“It’s your fault I left.”
He sighs, closing his eyes before leaning his forehead down on mine. “I know. You’re right. And there’s so much I want and need to say to you, Rachel. Can you please give me that chance? Hear what I have to say and then decide whether to leave?”
“How did you know I was leaving?”
“How do you think I knew you were here?” He says, flicking his head in the direction where his mother is standing as she flashes me a wink. “I drove over here as soon as my mother texted me. Luckily, I was already in the car and right down the street.”
“Yeah, makes sense.” I huff.
“So what do you say?” He asks, leaning back to stare into my eyes again.
I simply bob my head up and down and then look back at Grayson. “Okay.”
“You have to kiss her, Daddy!” Grayson shouts as the entire coffee house bursts into laughter.
Luke’s brow raises as he questions me. “May I?”
“Yes, please.”
And then Luke’s lips are on mine again in a meaningful kiss that speaks of healing and promises. He keeps it PG in front of the customers and his son, leaving his mouth closed, but still breathing me in, pulling me into his chest, and wrapping his arms around me as if he’s afraid I might disappear into thin air.
When we part, his arms trap me to his chest as he breathes me in. “I’m so sorry…”
“We still need to talk… but I know.” My fingers trail his face, running through the scruff on his jaw as I study his eyes and note the sincerity there. He’s obviously done some thinking over the past few weeks, and I’m dying to hear his epiphany.
Suddenly, he grabs my hand and pulls me outside where his mom and Grayson are waiting for us.
“Does this mean you’re not going to New York anymore?” My Uber driver runs out the door where I’m standing on the sidewalk with my group.
“No. I guess not.” I smile wide for the first time in weeks, the thought of my future coming to fruition almost too exhilarating to fathom.
“Well, good luck, then. Nice to meet you.” Saluting me with her cup, she turns towards her car, but then I remember my suitcase in her trunk. So I run after her, catching her just in time to gather my things before Luke ushers me to his car instead.
“Take a seat,” Luke directs me to the couch in his living room once we arrive back at his house. His mom kept Grayson for the rest of the afternoon so we could talk without distractions. Stepping back into these walls brings a rush of feelings forward—calm mixed with nerves, belonging mixed with estrangement—my gut never settling on what I should be feeling as I return to the one place that truly felt like home.
“What are you doing home on a Friday?”
Luke grabs two water bottles from the fridge and then sits down next to me on the couch, handing me one. I screw off the lid and take a small sip, my mind flooded with so many vivid memories we made in these same two spots. “I don’t have class on Fridays during the summer.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah. And I was actually on my way to Cash’s house when my mom texted me.”
I sit back into the cushions, trying not to show too much excitement. “Really?”
“Yes. Listen…” He starts, taking a deep breath before continuing. “I’m so sorry, Rachel.”
“You’ve said that. What exactly are you sorry for?” I’m dying to hear words that will take away this ache I’ve had in my chest for weeks. But I also know that Luke needs to say the right thing for that to happen.
“First, I’m sorry for firing you and kicking you out of my house.”
“Okay…”
He moves closer, reaching for my hand, intertwining our fingers together. “Second, I’m sorry for not being honest with Hannah’s parents about my desire to move on, or the fact that I already had.”
“But you said you weren’t ready, Luke. How do I know that now you are?”
“I’m hoping that you’ll trust me. And I’m hoping that this shows you how serious I am.” He turns to grab a white photo album from the coffee table, similar to the one Grayson and I made for Hannah.
“What is this?”
Luke’s lips tip up as he flicks his chin at me. “Open it.”
Holding my breath, I lift the cover and gasp as I see the picture of me, Luke, and Grayson at his birthday party, huddled around him before we sang and blew out the candles on his birthday cake. Above that in Luke’s elegant handwriting are the words, Our Second Chance.
“Luke…”
“Keep turning.”
I glance up at him before my tears build too much and then continue to flip through the pages, fighting the urge to crumble as I stare at the story unfolding. Pictures of our trip to the aquarium, selfies of Grayson and me at the park that I sent to Luke while he was at work, and dozens of other memories built over the past six months flood the pages, until suddenly they stop.
One lonely picture of Grayson and Luke sits on the last full page with many empty pages still stacked behind it, both of them frowning
into the camera with pouty lips.
“This was the other night when Grayson and I were putting this together.”
“He helped?” I look up at him again.
“Yup. He said this should be the last picture where we’re sad, because after this, we can all be a family and be happy again.” He closes the album, sets it on the coffee table once more, and then pulls me into his lap. “You are our future, Rachel. I will always love Hannah, that will never change. But I know now that I’ve been lucky enough to get two chances at love, and I’d be a fool to let you go. It’s time for us to make new memories together, ones that represent this second chance I’m hoping you’ll give me.”
As I struggle to breathe, I let Luke’s words twirl through my mind. “You really hurt me, Luke.”
“I know. And I can’t apologize enough. I’m so sorry, Rachel. But I was scared—afraid to let myself surrender to the idea of loving someone as much as I loved Hannah. But I can’t help it,” he pauses before taking a deep breath and locking his dark chocolate eyes on mine.
“I’m in love with you, Rachel. I love your smile, your laugh, the way you’ve helped me feel lighter since you entered my life. I love the way you love my son, and how you take care of us so unconditionally. I love seeing you in the kitchen in the morning when your hair is a mess and there are lines on your face from your pillow.” His eyes flick down to my mouth before he speaks again. “I love your lips, the sounds you make when I’m kissing you and touching you. I’m in love with you, and I know now that it’s okay for me to say that, to feel it. I just needed some validation to accept it.”
“And was that what you were searching for while we were apart?” I cup his face in my hand, admiring the sharp lines of his jaw, his thick and dark hair I can’t wait to run my fingers through again, waiting until I can kiss him.
“Yeah. And I got it, in more ways than one.”
“I heard Cash got pretty angry with you.”
That makes Luke chuckle. “Cash is super protective of you, and yes, he said some things that I needed to hear.”
“I don’t want to replace her, Luke. I don’t want you or anyone else to constantly compare me to her. That’s my biggest fear I’ve realized in all of this.”
