She snorted. ‘Hey, you got it better than me. My brother tested me and Logan by setting his elite strike team on us. With live bullets.’
Torin frowned but Rowan grimaced and said, ‘Don’t ask. I’ll tell you some other time. Right now we need to teach Heather a few things about managing her skill.’
Logan tapped his watch. ‘Rowan?’
She nodded. ‘Logan’s right. We don’t have a lot of time. We postponed our flight but we have to leave today or we’ll miss Finn again.’
Heather sat up. ‘Did you two just talk…in your heads? That wasn’t my imagination, before?’
Rowan smiled, suddenly mischievous. ‘One of the many useful sidhe skills. However…’ She studied her. ‘I’m not sure it’s one you have. You seem to have empathy but not telepathy. You’re only about a quarter Sidhe, so your skills are diluted. Oh, yes.’ She exposed bitterness before softening. ‘You can stop worrying about killing people. I can. You can’t.’
Heather covered her mouth, choking on a disbelieving cry. ‘How…how do you know?’
‘You have…’ Rowan clenched her own fingers until they whitened ‘…a lesser version of the skath sheele—the shadow-thought—that I have in full force.’
‘What does that mean, exactly?’ Kade’s grip tightened painfully and Heather squeezed in return. He relaxed.
With a harsh laugh, Rowan spread her hands wide. ‘It means I could drain every person in this building and use the power to lay waste to half a city block if I wanted.’
Heather shuddered and shrank against Kade’s side. His arm held her firm.
‘Rowan, stop,’ Logan said, caressing her cheek. She sighed, suddenly seeming weary beyond her years.
Logan continued. ‘Rowan’s ability is far stronger than yours, Heather. You don’t have the capacity to hold the energy from even one person, so you can’t kill anyone. But you could drain them to unconsciousness.’ He pointed at her. ‘Remember that if you’re ever in danger. But also remember that you can’t hold the power for long or it can backlash through you and cause internal damage.’
‘I need another drink.’ Rowan rose and strode to the bar.
‘How old are you?’ Torin asked mildly.
Rowan sent him a wry grin, and shared amusement with Logan. ‘Old enough to drink in Australia.’
‘We’re in the USA,’ Torin said.
She shrugged. ‘Who’s going to stop me?’ She raised a glass of clear, sparkling liquid. ‘Relax. It’s soda water, so you can stop parenting me. I have enough minders already.’ There was a hint of resentment in her voice and Logan shot her a quick, worried look.
‘So,’ Kade put in, ‘what were you going to say about Carleton? All I found out was some rumours about some shady deals and possibly human trafficking. What else do you know.’
‘Right,’ Logan responded. ‘The man we’re chasing, Finn, is a member of a group called the Mors Ferrum. They’ve been hunting Sidhe for a thousand years and more. We’re in the process of trying to disband them, but they have deep pockets and are good at hiding. We’re pretty sure your man, Carleton, is one of them.’
Heather swallowed, fear rising again from her belly. Kade’s arm tightened and she tried to get control of the fear so it wouldn’t infect him. His touch, the security of being so close to him, was too precious to ruin. She drew a slow breath and settled her heart.
‘Which means,’ Logan continued, ‘that Kade is right. Carleton’s probably not after his daughter at all. Although…’ He addressed Heather. ‘I think you said Amy’s husband, David, was a surgeon?’
She gave a low, nervous chuckle. ‘I didn’t say it out loud, but that’s true. Before he quit to go into hiding with her, he was a gifted surgeon. Never lost a patient, even in emergency situations.’ She sucked a gasp. ‘Oh! Do you mean…’
‘Probably,’ Logan agreed. ‘We’ve found that people like you, and most likely him, use their healing instinctively and don’t know why it works. And you gravitate to medical jobs because that’s where it’s easiest to hide.’ He exchanged looks with Rowan. ‘So Carleton’s goal could be two-fold: you and David.’
Heather withdrew inward, hunching her shoulders. ‘But why? Why would he want us?’
‘Best you don’t know. It would give you nightmares.’ Rowan laid a hand on Logan’s shoulder and he stared at the floor.
‘Is that what you meant by human trafficking?’ Torin asked, his attention on Heather. ‘These Mors Ferrum are taking Sidhe, specifically?’
Logan and Rowan both nodded.
‘Trust me,’ Rowan said bleakly. ‘You really don’t want to know what they do with them. We’re trying to stop them.’ She sank onto the arm of Logan’s chair. ‘But we can’t be everywhere. If you can help with Carleton, then we can get on with finding Finn. He’s the most likely candidate for re-forming the Mors’s leadership core. We have to find him before he pulls them together again and they find a way to strike at us.’
Determination snaked through Heather, displacing fear. She lifted her chin. ‘If it will protect Amy and David, then I’ll help. What can I do?’
‘No!’’No!’ Kade and Torin spoke simultaneously.
‘You can’t, Heather. He’s too dangerous.’ Kade grabbed her elbow. His grey eyes bored into hers, outright fear in them. ‘Leave it to Torin and I. We’ll find a way to make him back off.’
Rowan’s mouth quirked and she eyed Heather. Men. They can’t help it, can they? Her voice arrived in Heather’s mind. Show him, Heather. Show him you can look after yourself. You won’t hurt him if you give it back immediately. I’ll monitor and make sure.
Heather studied Kade’s hand, wrapped around her arm. She pulled her shoulders back and straightened her spine. ‘I don’t need you to protect me, Kade. You’ll need me to draw Carleton in. You’ve told him I’m here. He’ll come to see me.’
Desperation limned Kade’s expression and she almost relented. No. She refused to be a victim any longer; to keep running and hiding. If Rowan was right, she had the means to protect herself.
‘Heather,’ Kade said brokenly, ‘I—’
His eyes rolled back and he slumped across her lap.
Heather gasped.
‘Kade!’ Torin touched Kade’s throat and glared at Rowan. ‘He’s got a pulse at least. What’d you do to him?’
She guffawed. ‘Not me.’
Logan groaned and closed his eyes.
Heather inspected her trembling hand. ‘I feel…crackly inside. Full of…sticky lightning. It tastes of…pine? Is it meant to feel like that?’
‘Everyone’s different.’ Rowan gazed into the distance. ‘For me it’s like a thousand tiny needles and tastes of ozone. I can see it, too, but most can’t. Orange from humans and silver-green from other Sidhe or forests.’
‘Oh,’ Heather said dreamily, ‘now I understand. I can sort of feel it, inside, like…honey seeping through me.’ She touched her throat. ‘Here.’
‘Good,’ Rowan replied. ‘That’s where most Sidhe have a regulator organ that prevents them from draining themselves. You don’t have it, and neither do I. Make sure you always keep one full jar of that honey in reserve and you’ll be ok.’ By the looks of your body, you’ll only be able to hold it for a minute or two before the backlash. Best return it now.’
Heather touched Kade’s sleeping face and poured the energy into him.
‘Not all of yours, too,’ Rowan warned. ‘That’s where you’ve gone wrong before. It’s our instinct to try and heal people. Because of the skath sheele you give more than you should. More than other Sidhe can.’
‘I always thought people were taking from me.’
Rowan shook her head. ‘You’re giving subconsciously every time you sense someone is unwell, or in pain. You can’t help it. Always keep some in reserve for your own body or you’ll pass out again.’
In Heather’s lap, Kade twitched, blinking dazedly. He scrubbed at his temples.
‘What the hell…?’
Torin sank into a
chair. ‘I think Heather proved a point, partner. She’s not going to let us leave her out of this one, so you may as well accept it.’
Kade shakily swiped his hair. ‘Don’t do that again, huh?’
‘Promise.’ Heather smiled.
He turned to Logan. ‘So what do we do now?’
‘First thing,’ Logan replied briskly, ‘is to teach Heather and Kade how to shield thoughts and feelings. Otherwise this…’ He pointed back and forth between Heather and Kade. ‘…will drive you both crazy. The raw emotion you’re both outputting is…intense.’
Heather’s cheeks warmed and Kade cleared his throat, shifting on the couch.
Torin chuckled. ‘It’s about time, brother.’ His humour shifted into seriousness. ‘Long past time.’
Heather studied Kade’s haunted expression while he focussed on Torin. Clearly there was some history she wasn’t aware of. Something that affected Kade and his ability to have relationships. She sat up. She really didn’t know either Kade or her brother. Was she crazy to put herself in their control because Torin was her brother and she was attracted to Kade?
She’d seen the results of giving in to mutual desire too often to be seduced by its lure. Not just unwanted babies, but heartbreak, misery, abusive relationships. Everything she’d sworn never to fall into. Yet, here she was, accepting Kade at face value.
No, that wasn’t true. Their connection had let her see partway into his heart. Far enough to know he was a good man. But flawed, too. And tied to his past, as she was. Was there enough commonality between them to outlast the first rush of desire and hormones? That, she had no idea about.
She found Rowan’s sympathic gaze on her and flushed again. Rowan jerked a thumb at a door in the office wall.
‘C’mon. Let’s go into Kade’s office and I’ll show you how to shield. We’ll leave the guys to learn from Logan.’
Heather hesitated. ‘It won’t stop me from doing what I do, will it?’
The bleakness of winter veiled Rowan’s eyes. ‘No. It won’t. But you’ll be able to control what you feel from others, and what Kade senses from you.’
Rising, Heather glanced at Kade, who gave steadiness back. She followed Rowan into the adjoining office.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
HEATHER
Where Torin’s office had been heavy and masculine, with timber, leather and old world strength, Kade’s was bright and open. His desk, scattered with haphazard piles of paper, was of steel and glass. The chairs and sofas were in black, with brilliant cushions the jewel-colours of the Caribbean seas. On the plain, white walls hung a Jackson Pollack print, abstract and colourful.
‘Right,’ Rowan said, perching on the edge of the desk. ‘Let’s go. I don’t have long. First, tell me if you can feel the trees in the park outside this building. Here.’ She touched Heather’s head and an image opened in her mind: every living thing with a glow of energy pulsating through it; plants and animals, even insects. ‘This is what it would look like.’
Cautiously, she opened herself. There it was. Faint and not really a colour like the image, more like a feeling of power, distant and cool.
‘Sort of,’ she said. ‘That same honey, but a long way away. I can’t see it, only feel it. Oh!’ She looked at her body, half-expecting to see her skin glowing. ‘I can feel it seeping from the trees into me.’
‘Good. That’s the sianfath. Can you bring more in so it’s not only seeping? So you have control of it? Most fullblood can pull enough to heal themselves quickly, but I find few of the half and quarterblood sidhe have the ability.’
Heather tried but failed. The honey-lightning tendrils slipped from her grasp and she couldn’t get a grip on them.
‘Nothing. Sorry.’
‘Damn.’ Rowan scrubbed at her face. ‘That would have been useful. It means you can’t gain power from the sianfath like you can from humans you touch. At least, not beyond what normally helps to regulate and connect you.’ She chewed on her lip, staring at Heather for a long moment. Then she sighed. ‘Never mind. Next we’ll do shields. Then I want to teach you how to alter human DNA so they can feel the sianfath as well. It’s helpful.’ She gave a wry half-shrug. ‘When they understand how important the sianfath is—how it keeps the environment healthy—the humans are a lot more co-operative. And less dangerous.’
‘It won’t hurt them?’
‘Surprise them, yes. Hurt them, no.’ Rowan snorted.
Heather sat, twisting her hands in her lap. It seemed odd to be taking instruction from a girl almost a decade younger than herself, but Rowan appeared confident.
‘Thanks’.Rowan sent her a flicker of sardonicism. ‘Y’know, we’re not that different. My mother and I were on our own from when I was four, running, constantly moving. But where you were learning to help people, I was learning to kill them—to protect myself and her.’ She smiled bleakly. ‘You may have lost your mother, but what she taught you is a greater gift than I have, in many ways. Be grateful for that.’
‘But I’ve had to let people die,’ Heather said, her voice breaking. ‘I couldn’t help them. It eats at me every day.’
‘How many?’
Heather swallowed. ‘Ten.’
Rowan uttered a short, harsh laugh. ‘Like I said: be grateful. I’m a weapon. I can’t even count on ten hands how many people I’ve had to kill to protect the Sidhe from genocide.’
‘Oh, you poor girl.’ Heather’s chest ached with the pain emanating from the young woman.
‘Don’t!’ Rowan retreated, her eyes drowning. ‘Don’t. I can’t…’ She paused and cleared her throat. ‘Now. To make a shield, you need to create a strong mental image of a house or a building around your thoughts. Pick a structure that makes you feel secure. Then, when it’s solid, create windows to let people you know talk to you. Say, one each for Logan, me, Torin and Kade. Kade may not be a telepath, but it will let you feel his emotions when you want to.’
It took Heather several minutes to get the hang of creating a structure she felt safe in. She was practicing opening windows and creating thought-rooms when Rowan froze.
‘Shit.’ Rowan rose. ‘Logan and I have to go. One of Torin’s staff sent a message. They’ve spotted Finn in Orlando, Florida.’ But I need to teach you the DNA alteration.’ She swore. ‘No time for details. Here.’ She touched Heather’s forehead.
A series of complex images flashed through Heather’s mind, like a fast-motion film of human anatomy from her nursing school days. Then it vanished and she was left with the odd sensation that something had settled into a corner of her mind’s new shield-house. She blinked.
‘What did you do?’
‘I Gifted you the knowledge of how to change human DNA. You appear to have some limited telekinetic abilities,’ Rowan said. ‘Not enough to throw a couch across the room, but possibly enough to alter DNA on a micro-scale, if you’re careful. I’m sorry I don’t have time to help you practice.’ She leaned close and caught Heather’s eyes with an intense gaze.
‘But if you get a chance to use the DNA change on Carleton, do it. You just have to think about changing his DNA and my gift will take over. Teaching just one Mors Ferrum member might tip the balance in our favour.’ She pressed her lips tight. ‘Though I’d rather you didn’t go anywhere near him, to be honest.’
After a moment’s reluctance, she laid a hand on Heather’s arm, tightening when Heather tried to withdraw. ‘Hold still. This won’t hurt.’ Rowan’s eyes glazed. She let go, covering her mouth with trembling fingers.
‘Are you alright?’ Heather asked. ‘You’re so pale.’
Rowan blew a thick breath. ‘Yes. Just…just be careful. Stay close to Kade and don’t agree to meet with Carleton or his men. Promise me? No matter what they say. Don’t. If you do, there’s a good chance they’ll take you. And Kade.’ She let out a growl and pressed her thumbs into her temples. ‘I can’t be sure, exactly, but play it safe.’ She stalked out, the door slamming behind her.
Heather sank onto a couch,
gazing blindly at the grey carpet. She touched her scalp. Had all that really happened? Had she met someone like herself and learned to alter DNA itself? Could she really shield against incoming thoughts and feelings? Could she, after all these years, live an almost normal life?
Could she touch someone without feeling what they felt?
Their pain. Their misery. Their joy.
The door to Torin’s office burst open and Kade strode in. He made a beeline for her, stopped a few feet away, then edged closer, slowly.
‘You ok?’
‘I think so. That was pretty surreal, though. That girl, Rowan…’
‘Tell me about it.’ Kade checked over his shoulder. ‘I thought Tor and I had seen a lot in the military. I think those two have had to grow up a lot faster than any of us. Did she show you how to shield?’
Heather rubbed her cheeks. ‘Yes. And how to change human DNA so they can sense the sianfath. I…I’m not sure I believe it.’ She wrapped her arms around her stomach. ‘I mean, I don’t even remember what it was like not feeling people. So many years. So much emotion swirling constantly around me.’
‘And now?’
She spun to find Kade close. Maybe too close. She hadn’t felt him approach. She examined his expression and was caught by the worry there. Reaching out tentatively, she touched his cheek, steeling herself.
The rasp of stubble. The warmth of his skin. The softness of his lips under her thumb.
‘Nothing,’ she whispered. ‘Nothing at all!’ She looped both arms around his neck and pressed her whole body against his, feeling only warmth and the strength of his hands around her waist.
She lifted her face. ‘Kiss me.’
He held off. ‘You sure?’
‘Idiot,’ she said, smiling. ‘Yes.’
His lips brushed hers softly and she revelled in the purely-physical sensation. He paused, a few millimetres from her. She groaned and slid her fingers into his short hair, pulling his head down again. His mouth moved over hers, nipping, tasting, his tongue laving. Breathless and wanting, Heather gave a little sob and opened for him, drowning in the delicious physicality of a kiss.
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