I looked over at Annabeth, as short and sweet as she was, and started laughing too.
“What can I say?” Annabeth said. She was trying to be indignant but then she gave up and flexed like the hulk.
“Me Annabeth. Me smash things.”
Seeing her do it was even funnier and I cracked up. Then her and John started trying to out hulk each other and the whole thing took on a life of its own. I can’t remember the last time I laughed so much.
Sandy was having a good time too, although she was quick to point it out was her furniture that had been smashed. There is a saying that the difference between tragedy and a great story is two years. I’m not sure how long ago this had happened but Sandy was still in touch with the tragedy of it all.
After the laughter died down, we all refreshed our sweet tea and then Sandy walked over to a design painted on the wall. It was a series of interlocking lines and she started tracing it with her finger.
“Jason, since this is your first time doing magic after your transformation, let’s take a few extra precautions,” Sandy suggested. “After the whole hulk smash incident, I asked the House to come up with better safety measures, and it gave me this.”
With a flourish, she finished tracking the lines and they began to glow a deep red.
Then the furniture started moving. All of it. The sofa, end tables, rug, lamps, everything started sliding across the floor and lined up against the far wall. As the rug slid away, a circle was revealed, etched into the floor. It looked very magical, with a large outer circle, a smaller inner one, and with lots of mystical looking symbols and lines in between.
It was pretty cool.
Sandy walked over, touched the outer circle, and light raced out from her finger and lit up the whole thing like a Christmas tree.
Double cool.
I wasn’t sure what it could do yet, but I knew I wanted one.
Sandy took my hand, her grasp firm and warm, and led me over to the circle. The light had risen and now shimmered in the air. I reached out my hand to touch it; the light was firm, like a wall. Sandy gestured and the resistance vanished. Together we walked to the center of the circle.
“This is a training circle,” Sandy said. “You should be safe here to test your magic as there are protections for you and us woven into the spells that shape it. If your magic gets out of hand, just try and let it go and the circle will do the rest. It naturally dampens the power levels and keeps you from getting harmed.
“I’m going to leave you here and close the circle behind me. Remember to go slowly and test your magic lightly. You’ll have lots of time to grow and learn. Let’s focus on staying safe and having a good test.”
She gave me a penny and then left. I could see the light in the air again and that made me feel better.
My magic is small. It can only affect small objects and sometimes it takes a while to work. I put the penny in my palm and held out my right hand. I’d done this so many times before, it was almost habit.
Every night I would test myself to see if I could make the penny go higher. Most nights I could make it rise a couple inches or so. Sometimes I could really feel the flow and do better, but not by much.
The small weight of the penny felt familiar and calmed my nerves a bit. I usually imagine a fountain of water flowing up out of my hand and the penny balancing on the crest of the fountain. With a gentle push, I let my magic go. It surged out of my hand and the penny shot a foot into the air.
I was so surprised I let the magic go and the penny dropped. I caught it, and with a flick of my magic sent it back up again.
The power was wonderful! It flowed so smoothly and easily compared to before. The penny danced in the air and I felt a big grin coming on.
John didn’t look impressed, I’m sure he’d seen many more wonderful things, but Sandy and Annabeth looked awestruck.
“Such control!” Annabeth breathed.
“And without using a focus. That’s amazing. Just amazing,” Sandy agreed.
For a while I just played with the penny, switching it from hand to hand, loving the extra power I had.
The magic flowed so easily. I played with the intensity, letting the penny drop way down and then tossing it up in the air again before catching it.
This was how magic was meant to be. All those years with just a trickle of power, I’d known something was off. Something wasn’t right. There was more to my power. Now the block was gone and I was free for the first time.
This was like a kid who had been in his room all day and was finally let outside to run and play. I wanted to jump up and down with happiness. I felt almost dizzy with excitement.
Actually, I was feeling a bit dizzy. Maybe I’d better back off the stunts for a bit until I recovered more.
I let the penny settle onto my hand again.
“I can tell that felt good,” Sandy said. “I take it that was a successful test for you? It looked great from here.”
“Oh yes,” I said. “I never had enough power to make it dance like that before. I could make it float and spin but never jump in the air like this time. The power is so strong.”
“You’ll discover the power only gets stronger from here,” Sandy said. “With time and practice you’ll learn to do some amazing things.”
My power already felt wonderful. I couldn’t imagine it getting even stronger. Well, actually I could. I wanted to start doing fun things with it right now!
“Let’s talk about your process for a moment,” Sandy said. “Walk us through what you do to levitate the penny.”
“I put the penny in my hand and then I feel the magic,” I said. “It feels like water inside a hose. It’s like the water is turned on at the spigot but the nozzle has yet to let the water flow. There is a pressure there. Then I imagine a fountain of water, like what you would see at a water park, coming out of my hand and I let the magic loose. It flows out of my hand and raises the penny. It takes a lot of control to keep it balanced. When I first did this the coin would slide to the side and fall out of the flow. I learned to shape the flow so it would cushion it and generally keep it in the center.”
“That sounds a bit like how a charm works,” Sandy said. “There is a power source and the caster releases the pressure with a trigger and the charm shapes the magic to do various things. In this case, however, you are the power source and shaping the magic on the fly. That is pretty incredible. I’ve heard of that being done before but it’s usually by a natural and their powers are mostly instinctive and limited to a set of skills. I can’t wait to teach you and see how much you can grow. If you can shape magic yourself then you’ll have a big advantage when you start working with the structure of charms. It’s like you’ve already learned to compose songs with a little whistle. Imagine what you can do with a grand piano.”
07 Losing Soul
I was feeling better so I started making the penny dance again.
“There is one big difference between what you are doing and using a charm. You are using your own personal energy as the power source. What visualization are you using to reabsorb the power?”
“Ummm, I’m not sure what you mean,” I said. “I just let the energy flow and it floats the penny. The flow seems to disappear on its own.”
“Oh my goodness,” Sandy gasped. Her eyes got big and she started waving her hands at me. “Stop! Stop what you are doing right now.” She looked like she was ready to jump through the circle and smack the coin right out of the air.
I cut off the magic and caught the penny.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“When you made your little people, the ones you were telling us about earlier, did you keep control of them? Did you bring them back to you?”
“No,” I said. “I just gave them directions and sent them on their way. After they were done, they would give a wink or salute or something and disappear.”
What had I done wrong? Whatever it was must be pretty bad.
“Oh my,” Sandy said. Sh
e was pacing in agitation. “Oh my. This is dreadful. All those years. Oh my.”
Now I was getting worked up too. If the circle was larger, I’d have been pacing also.
“You are doing this with your own personal energy,” Sandy said. “It’s magic that is keyed to you. It’s your magic in a way that no charm will ever be. It’s as personal to you as the blood in your veins. In a way it is your soul, your life force. And you’re just letting it go into the air.
“Magic is everywhere and in everything, but it is at a low concentration. What we do is condense magic, gather it, store it and use it. Think of it like water. The air has humidity so there are little water molecules all around us. It’s not concentrated enough to drink, though. If we had the right equipment, we could take the moisture out of the air and turn it into a glass of water. That is what we do with a magic circle. We take the magic around us and concentrate it into a charm. Sticking with the water analogy, you are using the water in your body to make the little guys and make the penny float. You need water to live, though, so by doing so you are dehydrating yourself. If you lose enough water you will die. Now that your powers have awakened, you have the potential to use a lot more of your personal energy than before. That also means you can drain yourself a lot faster. I noticed you stopped earlier and looked a bit pale. Did you feel anything?”
“Yes, I was feeling dizzy,” I said, “so I stopped.”
This sucked. What had I done? I punched the wall of the training circle in frustration.
What she said made sense. I had thought of my practice as training. I usually felt drained at the end but it’s normal to feel tired after completing a workout.
I never thought I was losing my essence, my soul! The one thing I thought I was doing right had actually caused me to stay weak all these years.
The room started to tilt and I leaned up against the circle. I felt kind of sick and weak, like when I’d gone too long without eating.
It took too much energy to stand so I just slid down the wall to the floor. I’d never taken drugs before but this must be what it was like to crash. I must have lost a lot more of myself than I thought.
I was angry and sad. Angry that the practice I thought was right had been so wrong for me. Somehow, I always messed things up.
I’d messed up my family. My mom was dead because of me. Dad had kicked me out of the house. I hadn’t lived on the streets; I was cute enough and there always seemed to be another guy willing to take me home. I got food and a place to sleep in exchange for some nookie. Eventually, they would tire of me freeloading and I’d move on to the next guy. Poker was one thing I was good at and I’d even messed that up too.
I wasn’t good enough to go pro and yet I was getting busted in the underground circuit. I’d been through three cities already and Louisville was supposed to be my fresh start. This time I was going big and going pro. Instead I got beat to death—well not to death, but pretty close—and now the one thing that had always been mine, my magic, was messed up too.
Life sucked.
Maybe it would have been better if I had just died. Then I wouldn’t mess anything up any more.
While I was holding my pity party of one, the analytical side of me woke up and realized this wasn’t normal.
A big part of poker is sticking with the odds regardless of how you are feeling in the moment. It feels so good to go all in and take out another player, but if you do that when you feel like it instead of when the odds make sense, then you’ll end up a washed-out, broken player. One of the reasons I’m good at poker is because the dry analytical side of me speaks up and keeps me from doing anything stupid.
You’re being an ass, my analytical side said in a snooty British accent. You’ve hosted pity parties before, but this time you’ve gone all weepy faster than a teen on prom night. Something is wrong. Very wrong. Now snap out of it.
I made an effort to focus, to let the emotions go like butterflies in the wind. It wasn’t easy, but I sucked it up and looked around.
When I did, I realized Annabeth was banging on the circle. Every time her fists hit the wall it threw out a spider web of light across its surface. It was pretty, and for a moment I was lost to the sparkles.
Then my thinking side smacked me across the face. Wake up, he said. Just to make sure I got the point he smacked me again.
I snapped into focus and waved at Miss Sunshine. My hand felt so heavy. It was hard to move.
Annabeth stopped pounding on the wall and all the pretty lights stopped. I felt sad about that.
“Use your sight.” I realized she was yelling at me. The circle kept magic and physical stuff separated but sound came through just fine. I wondered how long she had been yelling. I must have really been out of it.
She was yelling again. “Use your sight and tell us what you see.”
I wasn’t sure where she was going with this but I opened my magical peepers.
There was magic everywhere. My magic. It was a dense fog surrounding me and filling up the space in the circle. It was so thick I could barely see. The magic was an emerald green with sapphire blue running through it. The colors were rich, saturated and they looked so beautiful.
I waved my hand through the fog and the colors swirled and danced. Once again I was lost, but Annabeth was still yelling at me.
“I see dead people,” I said in all seriousness and she looked at me in shock. “Nah. Just kidding. I’ve always wanted to say that.”
“This is not the time for jokes,” she scowled at me. “This is serious. Now tell me what you see.”
Sigh. Apparently this wasn’t the right audience for my humor. Killjoy.
It occurred to me that I was feeling like I was drunk. More than just drunk. I was hammered. No wonder I wanted to be funny. I’m usually a happy drunk. Unless I’m crying, then not so happy.
Focus! Smack. Smack.
“The magic is thick in here, like a fog. I can tell it’s my magic. It feels comforting and cozy for some reason.”
“Ok. You are doing good,” Annabeth said. “Just stay awake and hold it together.” She gave me one of her sunshine smiles. She has such a happy smile, with dimples and pretty eyes. She made me feel like everything was going to be alright.
She walked around behind me and her and Sandy started talking. I wanted to drift for a while but they started talking really loudly.
Sandy was feeling this was all her fault and she didn’t know what to do. She was feeling like she failed me and now it was going to be months until I recovered, if I ever did.
“Now listen here,” Annabeth growled. “You are the most creative mage I know. You break the rules, you question why things are done the way they are. You explore. You discover. Basically, you rock. You may not have foreseen this happening. We don’t know anyone like Jason so no one could have known this was coming but you were smart enough to ask questions and figure out what was wrong.”
“Most mages wouldn’t have had a clue what was up. But you had an idea of how he might work. And you’re going to have another idea of how to fix this. You are beyond good. You’re great. And you’re going to prove it right now.”
Go Annabeth! I felt motivated from her pep talk and it wasn’t even directed at me.
“So let’s review what we know,” Annabeth said. “Jason has leaked a crap ton of his magic into the circle and left himself drained. The circle is keeping it contained or else it would have already dissipated. We can’t take down the circle and get in there to help him or the magic is gone. He is going to have to fix this from the inside without our direct help. Fortunately, he is conscious. Unfortunately, he’s loopy as an Irishman at a pub crawl.”
I lost the conversation and just drifted again.
I felt so heavy. Gravity seemed to have doubled, and it took so much effort to move. Even breathing seemed labored and hard.
Annabeth was banging on the circle wall again. “Jason. Jason, honey, just focus. Stay with me for a moment. We have an idea.”
I
blinked to let her know I was listening.
“You said you can make little people who can do things for you. Try making a little person who can collect the magic in the air and bring it back to you. Can you do that for me?”
That was actually a pretty good idea. That’s something I should have thought about trying. I must be really out of it.
I smiled and nodded to let her know I heard. I got an anxious smile and a thumbs up in return.
Now I just needed the right little person to do my bidding, someone to clean up this mess. The image of a little granny popped into my head. She had round glasses, a roly-poly shape, and a frilly apron. Her gray hair was pulled back into a bun and her weapon of choice was an old fashioned vacuum cleaner. She was a happy little granny with a can-do attitude. Just what I needed. I formed her in the air in front of me and was about to fill her with magic when I realized I didn’t have any way to give her directions. So, I added a walkie talkie to her outfit as well as a duplicator ring.
With a gentle push I filled her with magic. It was so easy. I’d made her much bigger than my usual creations; she was almost an inch tall. Even wasted as I was, she still went from image to full creation in a few moments. The old me would have taken an hour to fill someone her size.
She gave a twirl and then kicked on her vacuum cleaner. Immediately it began filling up with magic. I could see light trails as it picked up the emerald and sapphire swirls.
“It’s working!” I exclaimed to Annabeth and after a few minutes the bag on the vacuum cleaner started glowing.
“The magic has been collected,” I said. “How do I absorb it? I’ve never done that before.”
“We haven’t done it before either,” Annabeth said. “Just try pulling it back in. Maybe have your little character stand on your hand as you pull in the magic. It would be the reverse of what you do to float a penny.”
Misfit Mage Page 6
