by J. L. Beck
My chest heaves as I try and get my bearings back.
What the hell did we just do?
“Did I hurt you?” Ivan questions after a few moments and trails his fingers down my spine. His touch makes me shiver, and I notice his flaccid cock is still inside me.
“No… I-I liked it… a lot.” I’m shocked that I’m admitting it, but I did, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want it to happen again.
“Good, I won’t warn you again though. Your safety means everything to me, and even if you don’t understand the importance of remaining hidden, I do, and I’ll do whatever I can to make certain that we both come out of this alive. There are sacrifices that must be made, and I’m sorry if that upsets you, but I’m not just going to let you do whatever the hell you want without thinking about the consequences.”
“Okay, I’ll listen.” I know deep down he is right, even if I don’t want to admit it right in this moment. Everything he just said is true. I have no idea how to do this... no idea how to survive on my own. He knows how this all works, how to deal with these kinds of people and he’s done nothing but try to protect me. He sacrificed his entire life to save me, and I need to trust him and do what he says even if it hurts like hell, even if all I want to do is call my sister and race home to her.
In the end, I don’t want her to end up hurt either. She’s all I have left, and if something happened to her because of me... I don’t even want to think about it.
“Let’s take a quick shower.” Ivan gets up, pulling ne to my feet with him. My knees shake like crazy as I try to walk, and Ivan wraps an arm around me, securing me to his body. I lean into him, and we walk to the bathroom together.
He turns on the shower, and the room starts to fill with steam. Without a word, he pulls my shirt off, and we step into the hot spray together. He washes my hair, his strong fingers massaging my scalp. He rinses my hair and moves on to wash the rest of my body, moving the soapy washcloth over every inch of my skin. I relish in the way he cares for me, showing me how much I matter to him.
When he is done rinsing me off, I take the washcloth and the soap from his hand and start washing him in return. I take care of every inch of his beautifully sculpted body, feeling his muscles flex under the washcloth as he moves.
With my other hand, I trace over his heated flesh, mapping out every inch of him, memorizing the way he looks and the way he feels because someday he won’t be here. He can’t stay forever, no matter how much I want him to. He doesn’t want me the same way I want him, and he’s already reminded me that this is temporary, and still, I can’t help but wonder if it isn’t.
If maybe it could be something more? I try not to dwell on the thought for long. Ivan and I will be here for a long while together, it seems. I’ll just deal with whatever happens when it happens.
As we exit the shower and dry off, I realize how exhausted I am. Ivan was right, we both could use some sleep. I don’t even bother putting any clothes back on and instead, I lie down in bed naked. I’m sure Ivan approves because he slips under the blankets behind me, pulling me to his chest. I feel every inch of his skin against mine, and I almost moan. His touch is comforting, his presence makes me feel safe, and it isn’t long before sleep grabs me, dragging me into the darkness.
Chapter Sixteen
Ivan
I wake up blanketed in warmth. Violet’s body is in my arms just as she has been for the last few weeks. Still, today is different. Today she is free… we are free. Today, I don’t have to take her back to a cell and leave her there. I can hold her all fucking day if I want to, and no one is going to take her from me. Pulling her even closer, I bury my face in her hair and breathe her in. She wiggles in my arms as if she’s trying to escape.
“That tickles,” she giggles. The sound of her giggling fills the room and a warmth settles into my bones. She is happy. I made her happy. If I had any doubts before about all of this being worth it, they’ve vanished. I would do it all over again if I had to just to hear her giggle in my arms, just to see her fucking smile that beautiful smile of hers.
“Ivan?”
I close my eyes, enjoying the way she says me name. It sounds so familiar, so sweet… so loving. I want to hear her say it over and over again, especially when I’m seated deep inside her.
“What is it, Kitten?” I murmur into her hair.
“Why did you do all of this for me? Why did you risk everything to save me? You said you don’t love me, and you don’t want to be with me in the long run. If that’s true, then why?”
I know she is hoping that I’ll confess my love to her and maybe that would be easier than the actual truth, but I'm not ready to confess to loving her yet, even if I know I do. Right now, I just want to be honest with her. I don’t know why, maybe because her body next to mine is like a drug. Her scent messing with my mind, loosening me up, making me want to tell her things that I’ve never told anyone else.
“That first night, when you ran into me in the hallway… you were so scared. You held on to me like your life depended on it, like you needed me to protect you. The way I held you… how you felt in my arms… how you looked at me with your big blue eyes… you reminded me of someone, someone I failed.”
A long stretch of silence forms between us, and I wonder what Violet is thinking right now. Surely, this is not what she expected me to say.
“Mira?” she suddenly asks and a twinge of pain shoots through my heart, making it hard to breathe. Her memory still haunts me. I can still see her, feel her in my arms. My baby sister that I failed to protect, failed to keep alive.
“Yes, Mira… she was my sister. I was supposed to watch her, keep her safe… I didn’t. I couldn’t save her. She died in my arms, clinging on to my shirt with her small hands, looking up at me like I could save her. I lost everything that day… it was my job and I failed... So, seeing you clinging to me, looking for someone to protect you... begging me out of all people to help you. It reminded me of her, and I knew then that this was my second chance. There was no way I could fail you.”
She turns in my arms to face me and snakes her thin arms around my neck and all she does is hold me. And for the first time, I feel like our roles are reversed. I’m usually the one comforting her, and having her do this for me without asking, having her wash me in the shower last night, it all gives me something I didn't think I could ever have again… peace… love.
Not only was I able to protect her, but somewhere along the way, she started to give me more than she could ever take from me. Something about the way she does the things she does lets me know she does them simply because she wants to and not because she feels like she owes me something. We lay like this for a long while until I hear her belly rumbling.
“Time for breakfast, Kitten.” I smile at her, pressing a tiny kiss to her button nose. She’s so fucking adorable it hurts. She pouts but lets go of me and we get up and get dressed, before grabbing something for breakfast. What should be the most normal thing in the world is anything but for us. I enjoy every moment of these mundane tasks that we get to share together.
And I know I’m enjoying them the most because I’m doing them with her. As we clean up our breakfast dishes, I can tell Violet wants to ask me something. I pray it has nothing to do with her sister, because I don’t have it in me to argue with her about that again, not right now.
“Ummm, Ivan?” Her voice sounds nervous, unsure. The way she is moving around in her chair, tucking strands of her soft blond hair behind her ears lets me know she is worried about asking me whatever it is that she wants…
“Yes, Kitten?” I lift a brow, waiting for her to speak.
She gives me a little grin. “Can we go on a walk?”
I swallow, not expecting that to be her question. “A walk?” I raise both eyebrows in shock.
“Yeah… just around the house. I mean, I don’t really care where we go, even if we just walk around the backyard. It’s just that I want to be outside, feel the sun on my face. I haven't
been outside in so long.” She’s looking at me like I might tell her no, and there’s no way I could do that to her. If she wants to go outside then she can go outside. We might be hiding but that doesn’t mean the house we’re in has to be seen in as a death sentence, as nothing more than a jail cell.
“Of course, Kitten, we can walk however long and far you want, so long as you stay close to me.” I barely finish the sentence when she jumps up from the chair, her face alight with excitement, which in turn makes me excited and happy.
“Can we go now?” She acts as if she’s a child who was just told she could go outside and play in the first snowfall of winter. I get up without realizing it, wanting to be close to her, to touch her.
“Sure. There should be some shoes, or sandals in that box I had shipped here.” She takes off down the hall and I follow her into the bedroom, watching her dig around in the huge box.
I use that moment while she is distracted to grab the gun from the inside of my jacket. It’s hanging on the chair next to the bed, where I placed it on purpose. I like to sleep with a gun close by just in case, and even more now that we’re on the run.
I turn away from her and slide the gun into the back of my jeans beneath the shirt I’m wearing.
“Ha, found them!” she exclaims and pulls out some sneakers. She slips them on with ease and looks up at me with excitement dazzling in her blue eyes.
“Okay, my only rule is stay close and within my sight. I don’t want you wandering too far off by yourself.”
She smirks and rolls her eyes as I open the backdoor. “Okay, master,” she murmurs beneath her breath and walks past me and out onto the porch. I watch her cautiously as she takes a deep breath, letting the fresh air fill her lungs. She tilts her face up toward the sun, letting her skin absorb the rays. She looks so different in the sunlight; it makes her hair shine as if gold has been spun into the long strands.
When she finally opens her eyes again, she turns to me, offering me a wide smile as if to say thank you and I forget how to breathe for a moment.
Her beauty literally steals the air from my lungs. Her eyes look different in the sun, brighter and bluer, her long blond lashes fanning against her cheeks as she blinks.
With the sun peering down on her skin, freckles I never noticed her having before are smeared across the bridge of her button nose. I have the urge to reach out and run my fingers across that smattering of beauty marks, to kiss each and every freckle on her skin.
“You coming?” She smiles at me again over her shoulder. I cross the distance separating us and take her hand in mine. It’s something so simple, so easily done by normal couples, but it feels crazy to be doing it with her. We lazily stroll around the yard and down a little path leading away from the house and into an open clearing. There are some woods around the house, shielding it from anyone driving by, which is the primary reason I selected this place as our hideaway.
We walk for a long time, but I don’t mind. I could do this all day with her. She is visibly enjoying being outside, her constant smile giving her away. I can barely keep my eyes off of her. My head is constantly turning toward her as we walk side by side, fingers intertwined as we hold hands. The longer we do this, the more I long for something more...something deeper. I can see myself being the man she needs, being her husband, being…
“It’s beautiful out here.” Her sing-song voice interrupts my thoughts.
I know she is talking about the scenery but all I see is her as I answer with a lazy, “Yeah.”
“I’m getting kind of hungry though. maybe next time we come out, we should pack a picnic or something?”
“That would be a great idea, actually.” I smile, guiding her back up the trail and toward the house. Nothing could ruin this moment between us, nothing but…
As soon as we reach the end of the trail I can tell something is off. I have this deep gut-wrenching feeling that something bad is going to happen. I grip onto Violet’s hand harder, and she looks up at me, concern filling her features.
“Are you okay, Ivan?” Her voice is loud, louder then I need it to be in this moment, and I press a finger against her plump lips.
“Something is off,” I whisper, leaning into her body, my lips right beside her ear. At my words, she perks up, her eyes go wide, and I know she realizes exactly what I am saying. I guide us up the walkway some more and stay perched behind a set of trees, shielding Violet’s body with my own. I release her hand and grab the gun from the back of my jeans.
“Ivan,” she gasps softly when she sees it.
The air is thick with danger, and a soft wind blows across the yard, carrying with it two scents. The hairs in my nose tingle, and I know that smell... the cologne. I narrow my eyes to slits and shut every single thought off in my mind. Right now, my job is to protect myself and Violet.
My eyes move away from the house and down the driveway. There’s an all-black SUV parked at the very end, blocking the only road out of this place, and I’m not dumb enough to assume that it’s someone lost, looking for directions or something.
No, these are Rossi’s men.
“What’s going on, Ivan?” Violet asks, tugging on the back of my shirt.
“Kitten, I’m going to need you to go and hide.” I twist around to look her straight in the eyes. “Do you understand? You need to hide, and you cannot come out until I come to get you. No matter what you hear, you don’t come out.”
“What are you going to do?” Her voice comes out frantic, as if she is scared of something may happen to me.
“Don’t worry about me, Kitten, just make sure you’re hidden.” I quickly scan our surroundings, my eyes landing on a small shed half hidden behind a group of trees at the edge of the property.
“Just walk in that direction.” I point in the way we just came. “Keep walking until you see a shed. Get inside it, and close the door behind you.”
She gives me a look that says she may fight me on this, but I have no time for that. I point her in the direction, and she hesitantly starts heading that way.
“Be careful, please,” she whimpers, giving me one last fleeting look over her shoulder.
I watch her walk away, keeping my eyes on her until I can no longer see her. Once she’s out of sight, I move closer to the house. I watch the idiots move around through the windows. They’re tossing shit around, destroying the place as if they’re looking for something.
Four… I see four bastards. They’re loud, uncaring of the noise they’re making. Stupid. So fucking stupid. I watch through the trees at the perimeter of the house as one of the fuckers lifts a pair of Violet’s panties to his nose, inhaling them. Of course, Rossi would send these stupid assholes out to get me. As if I wasn’t trained or skilled enough to kill them.
I wait until all of them are at the front of the house, before I make my way to the back door. I duck to the ground when I pass one of the windows, and I remain that way until I reach the back door. With the gun firmly in my hand, I slowly push down the handle.
I hold my breath at the creak the door makes, hoping they didn’t hear it. Surprise gives me an upper hand against them. If I lose that, I might be in trouble, seeing that I’m outnumbered four to one. My thoughts shift to Violet for one fleeting moment.
Guard her. Make sure they don’t get her.
I swallow, a lump of fear forming in my throat. I can’t let her down. No, I won’t let her down.
On light feet, I make my way to the hallway and stick my head out around the corner. I smile like a sick bastard. It must be my lucky fucking day. I watch for a moment as two of the goons are in the hallway facing away from me. I lift the gun in my hands, feeling how heavy it is. Then I’m moving... I don’t waste any time, because time is my biggest enemy in this situation.
I step out of my hiding spot, aim the gun at one of the fuckers, and pull the trigger. The gun kicks back in my hand as the ear-piercing sound of the bullet leaving the barrel echoes throughout the house. I watch the lifeless body of the guy I ju
st shot crumble to the floor just in time for his friend to turn and spot me. But that’s not going to stop me.
I pull the trigger again, the bullet finding its target perfectly, taking the guy out before he even had a change to move his lips. Fuck, I’ve just lost the element of surprise, but in doing so, I took out half the fucking men, so there’s that.
Moving backward with nimble feet and in the crouching position, I find myself in the kitchen hidden behind the heavy marble island.
“Oh, Ivan, that wasn’t really nice of you,” Luca’s annoying voice coaxes as if he’s trying to lure me out of hiding. “I just came to personally thank you for opening up a position for my promotion. That’s not exactly a way to treat guests, now is it?”
Is he really that stupid to think that I’ll talk to him and give up where I’m hiding?
“Where is that hot piece of ass you took? I planned to fuck her brains out, right after killing you... then depending on how good she was, I’d decide if she was worthy of a bullet or not.” I hear him walking around. His footsteps are precise, quiet, but I need him to come closer, I need him to be within range so I can blow his fucking head off.
“You know, Ivan, I must tell you that I could barely contain myself having her naked and tied up to the chair before the check. I mean, I don’t blame you for taking her. I’ve seen that pretty pussy up close. I may have even dipped a finger… or two.”
I clench my jaw and grip onto the gun tighter. I’m not stupid, I know he is trying to make me mad, trying to get me to make a mistake, show myself or engage in shitty conversation with him. Still, it’s fucking impossibly hard to fight the urge to get up and bash his face in with my fist. The bastard needs to die a long painful death for talking about my Violet.
“And, of course, there was the time I brought her to the cell after the shower. Did she tell you about that? That I sunk my fingers into her wet cunt? She begged me to stop, but I just couldn’t help myself. She was so fucking tight, so ready for me.”
