by R K Dreaming
“Teacher?” she demanded. “At the school? Are you mad? I thought she was going to stay hidden at home! It’s bad enough here. Your friend Delilah was already looking at her suspiciously.”
“Delilah’s just being her usual catty self. She never did like a beautiful newcomer.”
“Neither did you last night,” said Percy sourly.
“I’ve decided to make my peace with it,” said Gwendolyn firmly. “What’s done is done. Too late to change it now. People will be confused”
“People is the problem,” hissed Percy. “The further she stays from them, the better. You can’t really be sending her to my school?” She added the last part pleadingly.
Lucifer was at Humble High. Lucifer and his tendency to attract trouble or his bad karma or whatever you wanted to call it. Which made it the worst place for a fugitive to be. Especially a weepy weirdo like Juliet, who was ready to fall into Lucifer’s arms and tell him all her secrets, including the deadly ones.
“I can’t keep her hidden away at home,” protested Gwendolyn. “You don’t know… er, Cousin Opal. I’ve decided we shall call her Cousin Opal from now on. I’ve agreed with her that she will stay in her disguise at all times.”
“Good,” snapped Percy. “Glad to hear it. But she’s not coming to my school.”
“She is. The matter has already been finalized.”
Percy gave a groan of dismay. If she could only tell her mother about Lucifer, then Gwendolyn would understand why it was such a bad idea to send Juliet to Humble High. But she couldn’t tell anyone about Lucifer, least of all her mother.
“It’s not fair!” she said. “You’ve ruined my half term holiday. I’ve spent nearly the whole time looking for your damned cat. And now you’re ruining school for me too!”
Gwendolyn pouted. “You’re ruining my mood, darling. Must you be so sulky?”
“I’m not sulking. I can’t believe you’re doing this. Nobody else’s mum is bringing a fugitive into their home, let alone one who has a pair of maniacal murderers chasing after them.”
“You worry too much, darling. They’re not going to turn up here! And even if they did, it’s nothing I can’t handle. It might even be exciting!” Gwendolyn gave a little trill of laughter.
“It’s not funny! What if they use that wildmagic they stole? Wildmagic, mum! That’s more than a match for even your formidable talents! Isn’t the whole point of wildmagic that it can do anything? Absolutely anything?”
“I’m glad that you think my talents are formidable at any rate,” said Gwendolyn, looking flattered.
Last night’s revelry must have put her in an emotional mood, because she suddenly threw her arms around Percy in a much too cuddly hug.
Percy had to fight to free herself from it.
“That is not the point,” said Percy, holding Gwendolyn’s arms firmly at her sides so that they could not wrap around Percy again. “What if they turn up here with it? What will we do?”
“They won’t. And the house does have a few protections, dear.”
“But wildmagic—”
“And anyway,” Gwendolyn interrupted. “I had a little word with the High Minister of the Conclave yesterday, and he’s agreed to grant me a meeting to discuss the matter in private on Monday. He’ll soon be rounding up the dastardly duo.” She pinched Percy’s cheek. “So there is no need for you to worry your little head about the Sheedys at all.”
Percy glared at Gwendolyn. She wanted to say don’t patronize me. I’m not a kid anymore.
Percy knew a little something about danger. Murder was so easy. So unexpected. She herself had personally caught two murderers red-handed in the past few weeks alone.
But it was better not to mention such things to her mother.
“About Monday,” said Percy. “You’d better call the school to let them know Cousin Opal can’t make it. Say she’s sick or something. You know that Lucifer Darkwing is the librarian there. Didn’t you see them both together last night? He’s not the sort of man that we want hanging around with our precious and fragile Cousin Opal!”
“I thought you liked him?”
“I do like him.”
“Then don’t be silly dear,” said Gwendolyn. “Anyone would think you were jealous.”
“I’m not jealous!”
“Just because your uncle likes a woman, even if his choice is a bit silly,” — she sniffed at this — “doesn’t mean he doesn’t still love you.”
“I know that!” Percy ground out.
“Then what are you worried about?”
“About Opal. Clearly!”
“Oh pfft! Our Opal knows a thing or two about handling men. She is not an empty airhead, you know. And anyway, she’s still heartbroken over her dear Brad. A pleasant little distraction from all that heartbreak is just what she needs, and I’d hardly call Lucifer more than that. She’ll soon tire of him. Or he’ll tire of her.” She lowered her voice, as if speaking a confidence. “Between the two of us, she is ever so easily distracted. Frivolous, one might say.”
Percy thought this was rich coming from Gwendolyn.
“And anyway,” continued Gwendolyn, “the last thing I need is cousin Opal moping around the place night and day. I want some fun while I’m home, darling. You know I get bored so easily. And this is the perfect way to get her out of my hair.”
“But—”
“No, no, no!” trilled Gwendolyn.
She would not hear another word of protest from Percy, and went so far as to pinch Percy’s lips closed with her two fingers. Then she marched out of the lounge, humming to herself as if she had not a care in the world.
That evening Percy met her friends for ice cream and a movie, and told them what to expect on Monday. They were all as worried as she was about the prospect of Juliet Jolie coming to Humble High.
What was left of the half term break sucked. Nan and Shara had to spend the weekend with their families, and Felix said he had a “Work thing” to do.
On Monday at school, if Percy had thought that she could run interference between Lucifer and Opal, she found that she was sadly mistaken.
She turned up at Lucifer’s library office first thing in the morning, intending to tell him that Opal was recovering from a broken heart and that he would be doing her a kindness if he stayed away from her. But she found that Opal was already inside there with Lucifer.
She did not realize this right away of course, because the door was firmly locked. Percy stared at it in shock. Lucifer had given her a key, and he had never locked her out before.
She rapped sharply on it with her knuckles, and she heard a distinctive husky giggle from within.
“Will you let me in?” she demanded angrily through the door, and was gratified when a blushing Opal opened it.
“Your Uncle Lucifer is a very naughty librarian,” said Opal, reaching out to tickle the end of Lucifer’s nose.
“You don’t know the half of it,” said Percy disapprovingly. She dragged Opal out of the office by her wrist, saying, “Shouldn’t you be in your classroom already, getting ready for your first ever lesson?”
She had no idea how Opal had beaten her to school. When Percy had left the house, she had assumed that Opal must still be in bed. She couldn’t have etherhopped. She wasn’t supposed to use her wand outside the house because the conclave was probably tracking it.
At the mention of her first lesson, Opal suddenly looked very nervous indeed. “Goodness, classes! I haven’t had a class since I was a girl! Now, where are my notes?”
She dashed back into Lucifer’s office to fetch a stylish scarlet briefcase. Percy was glad to see that Opal had turned up prepared for work. At least she was making some effort to blend in like a real substitute teacher. This took her by surprise, and she found herself smiling at Opal.
Opal fondly pinched Percy’s cheek, which promptly wiped the smile off Percy’s face.
Percy scowled. “I don’t even let my mum do that.”
“But you’ll ma
ke an exception for your Cousin Opal, won’t you, Percy Princess?” cooed Cousin Opal.
“I will not,” said Percy through gritted teeth. “And never call me Percy Princess ever again!”
Cousin Opal burst into laughter, another surprise, since Percy had thought she had no sense of humor.
Still laughing, she and her vibrant red hair, red dress, and red briefcase left the library. Lucifer watched her go, a half mournful expression on his face.
“You stay away from her,” said Percy, shaking her finger at him. “You are nothing but trouble, and believe me when I say that the last thing that woman needs is trouble! She is suffering from a recent heartbreak, and she doesn’t need you to—”
“I know all about it,” said Lucifer.
Percy stared at him. “W-what do you mean?”
Lucifer nodded solemnly. He leaned in and whispered very quietly in Percy’s ear, “All about who she is and the terrible trials she’s suffered.”
“And who is she?” Percy asked in a squeaky voice.
He tapped the tip of her nose. “A very famous someone,” he said with a wink.
Percy’s eyes went wide. He had said it cool as you like, right in the doorway where anyone inside the library might have overheard. She pushed him into his office and slammed the door shut behind them.
“The stupid woman,” she hissed. “I cannot believe that she told you! And after she made us all promise not to tell anyone as well!”
Lucifer looked put out at Percy’s anger. “Well, as it is her secret, I rather think she has the right to tell anyone she pleases.”
“No, she does not,” said Percy heatedly. “It’s not just her life at risk now, is it? She is living in our home. My mum has promised to protect her. You have no idea what mum is like. She may have her faults, but she has her pride too and this time she intends to keep her word, even if it means putting herself into the line of fire! But that stupid woman doesn’t care, not if she is going about blabbing to you, the first person who can be bothered to listen to her!”
“I am hardly just anyone,” said Lucifer, looking offended. “I am practically family!”
“Not her family,” said Percy, “and don’t you forget it! And if she is going to tell you, who else is she going to blab to here?”
“She’s not stupid,” Lucifer insisted. “I’m sure she won’t say a word to anyone else about this.”
“Are you going to stay away from her or not?” said Percy. “She’s got serious trouble coming after her, and you know that you’re nothing but a trouble magnet.”
“That is not fair.” He pouted. “And anyway, she and I are just friends. What harm can that do?”
“Just friends?” said Percy scathingly.
He nodded sadly. “She is still terribly hung up on that actor husband of hers. I’ve told her that I’m going to do my best to talk her out of it.”
“You can’t talk somebody out of their grief,” said Percy. “And her husband did only just die a couple of weeks ago. I’m glad to hear that she’s got at least a bit of a heart!”
“She is all heart,” said Lucifer dreamily. “That’s why I like her.”
“Mr Heartless and Mrs Heartbroken,” said Percy sourly. “What a pair. That is just perfect!”
Percy left the librarian’s office thinking that at least Cousin Opal was bound to be terrible at her job. Perhaps she would be fired by the end of her first day.
But she soon found out that this was not likely to be the case. Percy had English Language during second period on Mondays. The teacher had used to be Mrs Delancey, but was now Cousin Opal, or Ms Smith as she instructed the class to call her. And to Percy’s dismay, she proved herself to be surprisingly adept at teaching.
Nan and Percy exchanged looks. “Well this is a pleasant surprise,” said Nan.
“It’s much better than having Headmistress Glory fill in,” said Shara.
“You won’t be saying that if the dastardly duo come bursting in here, looking for her,” said Percy darkly.
Morning break came after English Language. When the lesson finished, Percy loitered in the classroom as everyone else walked out, determined to waylay Cousin Opal, who she was certain would try to sneak back into the library to see Lucifer. But to Percy’s surprise, Cousin Opal stayed at her desk, going over her notes for her next lesson.
At lunchtime, Percy persuaded Nan and Shara to join her in Lucifer’s office. While they ate their sandwiches, they listened to him whinge and moan about Cousin Opal not coming to see him, and he had been certain that she wouldn’t have been able to resist doing so.
They left early and made their way to their lockers to get their books for Double Science.
Percy said grimly, “She’s not going to get fired, is she?”
“I liked her,” said Nan. “It took me by surprise really. Who would have thought that a famous—” She cut herself off abruptly. Then said more quietly, “That Cousin Opal of all people would make a good English teacher!” She sounded impressed.
“I liked her too. She even seemed to enjoy it,” said Shara. “Do you think that she might want to stay on as a teacher after this whole thing is over?”
“No way,” said Percy. “She’ll be running back to her glamorous life as fast as possible at the first opportunity.”
“Faster than a streaking zebu,” said Nan, nodding.
“A what?” said Shara, looking at Nan quizzically.
“You know, a streaking zebu?” said Nan. “A magical type of zebra. Tends to hide among herds of normal zebra. You must have heard of them? They’re responsible for the urban myth of zebras sometime stomping lions to death.”
“You are kidding me,” said Shara disbelievingly.
“Am not,” insisted Nan.
“Never mind that,” said Percy. They had got to their lockers, and a piece of paper had been taped up to the front of Percy’s.
“Look at this,” she said in annoyance.
“Look at what?” said Nan distractedly, busy searching through her stack of books for the ones that she needed.
“Someone’s taped a news cutting from The Daily Oracle to my locker. It says that… Dammit! It’s an article about Fred and George Sheedy and the Brad Jolie murder!”
“No!” Nan snatched the news article off the locker and began to read it.
After her eyes finished quickly scanning it, she looked relieved. “Oh, thank goodness. It’s just an old article.”
“Why would someone leave that on your locker though?” asked Shara. “You don’t think they know about…. er, you know who?”
Percy shook her head, and pointed at the top of the clipping. “Look what they’ve scribbled on top. ‘Solve this one, Snitch!’ No points for guessing who left it.”
“Bella and the Bees,” said Nan immediately. “Still trying to get to you.”
Queen Bee Bella and her two friends Blanche and Barbie hated Percy for the crimes that she had solved and the trouble it had caused them.
“It’s probably just a coincidence,” said Percy.
The Three Bees couldn’t possibly have any idea what was really going on and how close to home they had struck. Boy, would they be gloating if they knew about that. Even so, it gave Percy a bad feeling.
“Imagine if the Bees found out about it,” said Nan. “If they realize that the new teacher is living at your house, they might befriend her just to get to you. They’re sneaky. She’ll thing they’re being nice, when all they want is for her to tell them stuff they can use against you.”
“And we already know Opal can’t exactly keep her mouth shut,” said Percy grimly.
“She wouldn’t tell just anyone,” said Shara.
“She doesn’t need to,” said Percy. “All it would take is an accidental slip.”
“And they have their Allure,” said Nan. “I wouldn’t put it past them to use it to trick her into liking them.”
The Three Bees were succubae. They weren’t supposed to use their Allure power in school, but
they were used to getting away with stuff they shouldn’t do.
Shara bit her lip. “If she tells them her secret, it’ll be all around the school in minutes. Do you think those two murderers will really come after her? Percy’s mum promised to protect her, and what if she’s the one who ends up getting hurt next? Or… worse.”
Her voice trailed off, the thought of what was worse was clearly too terrible for her to say out loud. Shara sounded upset. She had only just been dealing with the possible death of her own family member recently.
“She won’t,” said Nan fiercely. “Percy’s mum is an amazing witch. And she is prepared. She won’t be taken by surprise. It won’t happen to her.”
But Percy had that horrible feeling of dread settling into her stomach again. She covered her face with her hands and groaned.
“What is it?” asked Nan in alarm.
“It’s just that things are going to spiral out of control and we won’t even see them coming,” said Percy.
“They won’t” said Nan reassuringly. “We’ll keep an eye open.”
“No!” said Percy decisively. “I don’t see why she had to drag my mum into her mess. Why couldn’t she go to someone else? Her own family?”
“Because your mum’s the best,” said Shara.
“Sod that,” said Percy. “I’m going to have a word with her. She can’t be in the school. She can’t go walking out and about on the streets. We need to get rid of her.”
“But she won’t listen,” said Nan. “You saw her enjoying the lessons earlier today. The girls already idolize her and the boys were practically drooling. She was loving it. Anyway, your mum clearly thinks being out and about is better for her than being cooped up in the house.”
“Maybe we’re overthinking it,” said Shara. “Nobody suspected a thing. If only she was a little plainer, nobody would take any interest at all.”
“She loves the attention too much,” said Percy in annoyance.
“Of course she does,” Shara said. “She’s used to getting it, and she hasn’t been getting it at all while she’s been hiding out.”
Nan was watching Percy with a look of dread on her face. “You’ve got that look again. If you have to talk to her, just don’t be mean to her, okay?”
