by Kendra Riley
The moment Aniya heard those words, a dam broke in her, and the tears just came rushing out, and she struggled for breath. No one had asked her that in days, and here she was, a woman Aniya had thought was competition, a woman that she had been jealous of for being almost perfect- here was a person who was humble, someone she barely knew, but was in all aspects sincere and thoughtful.
“Yeah- yeah I am,” Aniya finally said, “sorry, I had to let out some steam.”
“Oh good. Where are you?”
“At home. Listen, I- I’m guessing you read or saw something on the news…”
“None of it was your fault,” Pilar told her immediately. “It was released to some local news station, and it was clear that Jose provoked Dante.”
“Who released it?” she asked.
“I’m not sure,” Pilar said.
Aniya knew she was just protecting someone, or avoiding incrimination, and she decided to move onto pressing matters. She couldn’t help but ask about him.
“How is Dante?” Aniya’s voice was like a whisper this time.
“He’s not in such bad shape. Just a few bruises. I did insist on an x-ray or some other scan…” Pilar’s voice trailed off. “Aniya, I know how much he means to you.”
“Isabella- I need to keep her protected from Jose,” Aniya began to stammer, not wanting to hear about Dante anymore, knowing she was the cause of that fight.
“Why?” Pilar’s voice sounded alarmed. “What happened? Did he threaten you?”
“I know he wants custody, I don’t know how it goes with the whole custody thing. He requires a DNA test to prove he’s hers, for legal reasons. Oh god, I feel so stupid, why did I even say that? I wouldn’t have wanted him to know, I thought I’d never see him again.”
“It’s over and done with,” Pilar told her. “We move with what we have now. Carlos is asleep at the moment, but I’ll call him first thing in the morning.”
“Thank you,” Aniya said, closing her eyes. “Thank you so much.”
One week later
“A DNA test?” Dante repeated. He felt his blood boil over. Jose Aguirre didn’t deserve Isabella at all, the douchebag was never there for the child, and he had effectively abandoned Aniya as well. According to his legal counsel, Aniya had kept valuable information, and had Jose known that she had been pregnant he would have fully supported her… what the actual hell?
“Pilar, how the hell did this happen?” he said to her, staring at the headline of a daily.
“She asked Carlos for help, of course Carlos was willing to help,” Pilar said, checking her watch for the time. “I have a meeting in an hour, whatever mean things you have to say, say it now.”
“You two were supposed to be my friends,” Dante sighed, slamming his palm on the paper. “A frickin’ DNA test. Isn’t she adding insult to injury? And wasn’t Jose supposed to be in jail right about now?”
“That isn’t how it works, Dante. It’s a process, evidence, like Carlos said.”
“And he’s helping Aniya pro bono?”
“I don’t know. You ask him,” Pilar said.
“And now you won’t tell me anything?”
“I wasn’t in that meeting, Dante,” Pilar said, exasperated. “But yes, Aniya asked for help from him.”
“Not without you.”
“She called me, it’s not a crime. She has no one here, Dante. She did have you, once.”
Dante closed his eyes, and for a moment, he felt all the sounds disappear. She once had him. Did he still have her? She was moving without him, because he didn’t want to get into the mess she had gotten herself into. It was that simple. He was preventing further pain, wasn’t he? Isabella wasn’t his, and he knew he had to accept that as soon as he could.
“At least she has you,” he found himself saying. “She has you, and Carlos.”
“Aren’t you going to ask about Isabella?” Pilar said.
“If she’s well, that’s all I need to know.”
“She’s at my place,” Pilar suddenly said.
“What?” he looked at her, his mouth slightly ajar. “Your home?”
“The reporters were getting annoying, and they now know where she lives. Isabella isn’t safe there. She hasn’t been to daycare in over a week. The poor kid was stuck in the apartment day in and day out. Aniya was crying over the phone, you know, and it was clear she had no one. I’m glad Carlos is her last resort. I know he’ll take care of her.”
“Apparently, you two are doing a better job than I am.”
“This wasn’t your obligation, like you said.”
“But there you are, taking care of something that isn’t your problem to begin with…”
Pilar shrugged. “I can’t help myself. Aniya is a great person, with a good heart, and Isabella- I mean, come on, how can anyone resist that little girl?”
Yes, how could anyone resist that little girl? Jose still hadn’t met his own daughter, but he had, and he had taken her out, and they had fun, like any normal father and daughter would.
“Aren’t you going to ask me a question?”
“What question?” he said, irritated, and trying to stop it.
“If you can visit Isabella?”
Chapter13
Aniya was at work, Dante found out later on. She still had work, although he knew how hard it would be for her by now. Everyone knew what had happened, and one needn’t even read a normal tabloid. He had time to see Isabella then, as he had been secretly desperate to check on her. Pilar warned him that Isabella might get upset, as Aniya had been dropping hints that he had gone somewhere far away, and that it would take a while before ‘daddy’ returned. Is that what you tell kids to avoid abandonment issues?
Dante found his heart pounding as he walked into Pilar’s apartment. “How does this work?” he asked Pilar. “Aniya sleeps here, too?”
“Sometimes, the last two days, she has. It’s just to confuse the annoying media. I think some of that might be the Aguirre family’s working. I think,” she replied. “You’re worried she’ll be back sometime soon?”
He shook his head. “I know her schedule.”
Pilar shook her head. “Sure you do. She’s in the library at the moment.”
“With?”
“No one,” she replied, and then seeing the look on his face, she added, “I was kidding. My stay-out maid is here, keeping her company for a while.”
He hadn’t seen her in a while, was that why he was nervous? Did kids still recognize faces? Or was he going to become some unfamiliar person? Like they had never bonded at all… the library doors were open, and there he saw her, looking at a kiddie book, a battered copy of Dr. Seuss, as the maid tidied up the pillows on a couch.
“Isabella, how’s your book?” the maid asked good-naturedly.
“It’s nice,” she replied, her little brown eyebrows furrowed in frustration. Isabella looked up, hearing something creak on the wooden floor.
“Papa?” she gasped.
Papa. That was who he was to her. His heart soared, and his somber face broke into a wide smile, and he stretched out his arms, waiting for her to run to him, like she had done in the last few months. Seconds later, she was in his arms, and he embraced her tight, and he felt her little arms around his neck, and she smelled like strawberries again.
She pulled away and held his face, and she looked into his blue eyes, eyes that were unlike her own. “Where did you go?” she asked him.
“I was on a trip,” he replied, unable to believe he felt like choking from the rush of happiness and relief. She remembered him, she still loved him with all her innocence. He was her father, in the truest sense of the word….
“Is mama with you?” she asked him.
He shook his head. “I have to go in a while,” he told her, hating that he lied to her, “but while I’m still here, let’s read a book, shall we?”
The maid had quietly made her exit, clearly misty-eyed at the reunion. The little girl was a sweetheart, and it was clear she
had been missing certain people in her life. She had read the papers beforehand, and had said nothing, out of respect for Señorita Pilar and her family.
Dante looked up to see Pilar by the door, with tears in her eyes. He knew she hadn’t asked for Aniya’s permission, and that he wouldn’t be here by the time Aniya got back. He had a feeling Aniya would be livid, seeing him with her child. Pilar quietly closed the door, to leave the two alone for a while.
He settled himself beside her, comfortable on a large beanbag, book in hand. She snuggled close to him, her small hands intertwined in his. Dante felt himself relax, seeing how Isabella didn’t deny him of her company, seeing how she still remembered him and missed him.
“Will you read it aloud to me?” she asked him. “It’s in English.”
He grinned, nodding. “Sure.”
***
Aniya rushed from the office, heading for Pilar’s apartment. It was past six in the evening, and she was afraid that Pilar’s personal maid had gone home for the day. The good thing about moving out of her apartment temporarily was that the paparazzi didn’t know where she was. Carlos had considered the move, and suggested she move far away, and take Isabella with her. The bad thing was, it took more than thirty minutes to get to their current sanctuary. Aniya knew this was a small price to pay for peace and quiet. She knew that if she stayed in her place, the toll would be heavy, not just on her, but on Isabella as well.
Carlos had met up with her during lunch. There was a court mandated letter that she agree to the request of Jose for a DNA test. She had never hated herself, not until she had blurted out he was the father. What’s done is done, she thought, now to clean up the mess. Pilar and Carlos had been nothing but kind to her, and she made a mental note to repay with them with kindness in the future.
Carlos had advised she agree to the paternity test, lest there be further complications in the future. Custody was another thing, and Aniya was staunchly against him sharing custody with Isabella. I am not after his money, she had told Carlos. I can work fine on my own, I’ve worked since I turned sixteen, she thought, recalling how she had put herself through her first few years of college.
2 bus rides and 1 train stop later, she had arrived at Pilar’s apartment. She saw lights on the third floor, and she wondered if Pilar had gotten home early from work. The maid had opened the door for her, and she thank the maid.
“¿Isabella? Dónde está?” Aniya asked her.
“Library,” the maid replied with a low voice, pointing to the room.
Perhaps, Isabella hadn’t awoken from her afternoon nap. She couldn’t nap too long, lest she have difficulty falling asleep at night. Aniya walked quietly towards the library, almost tiptoeing. The door was half-open, and she peeked in. Her eyes widened.
On the beanie bag was Isabella, snuggling beside Dante, both asleep. The book they had been reading had fallen to the floor. Aniya stopped in her tracks, staring at the two of them. Instinctively, she took a quick snapshot, and then she pocketed her phone. How did she feel about this? She hadn’t seen him since last week. A full week had gone by, and her worry for him had only begun to dissipate.
To see him here now with her… it filled her with relief and anger, all at the same time. She wanted him safe, but he looked at her like he didn’t care, even if he had been chivalrous during that altercation with Jose. Perhaps, his kindness just kicked in, and he didn’t really feel anything for her. Pilar had remained mum about him, telling her she had only seen him twice since the video was released on local news.
She didn’t need this now, she didn’t need to feel these feelings for him. I have to toughen up, so Isabella and I can survive. This was going to emotionally affect her again, seeing him. She stared at her daughter, whose face was that of contentment, lying beside the man she called her daddy. Should she wake them up, she wondered.
Aniya decided to back down, and she walked to the dining table, and opened her laptop. She needed some distraction. Was she going to wait for this? Was she going to fly into a rage as soon as he woke up? What would she say to him? How could she explain to Isabella again? Her pretend daddy had returned, only to leave as soon as he came back into their lives?
The maid had left minutes later, and Aniya was alone in the quiet for a moment, contemplating what she was going to do or say.
“Hey,” a voice interrupted her.
She looked up and saw Dante standing in front of her, rubbing his neck.
“That was a bad way to sleep,” he said, not really looking at her.
She said nothing at first. She stared at her laptop, stared at the letters on the keyboard. What could she say to him? She was out of words. Maybe she was just tired, or maybe she was afraid of saying things she would regret soon.
“Why are you here?” she asked him. She knew that Pilar had told him where they were, in fact, Pilar had hinted she had wanted the two of them to work on their differences. She had wanted a reconciliation, basically. But, that wasn’t Pilar’s decision to make. It was theirs.
“I came to see Isabella,” he replied immediately.
“Why?”
“Because I wanted to see her.”
Here he was, admitting that he missed her daughter. It felt strange, it felt alien. And yet, it felt bittersweet, as well. She took a breath. “I don’t think this is good for her.”
“Why?” his voice changed. It almost cracked. Almost.
“Because of what’s happening right now.”
“I don’t care about that other now. I care about Isabella.”
“Isabella isn’t yours,” she said, standing up, her palms on the table.
“Because you’d rather have Jose father her?”
“Don’t you dare turn this into a guilt trip! Of course I’d rather have you over him as the father!”
“There you have it, you’d rather have me. Then why would you still even bother to ask why I’m here? To mess me up?”
“You mess me up,” she snapped at him, walking closer to him. “We were fine, Isabella and I were fine on our own, I was fine not dating, and I was fine not getting laid every week. I cared about how to survive, how to be the best mother for her, I cared about work.”
“Yet you never stopped to think how nice it would be to share the load?”
“Don’t turn me into some sob story, Dante. I was fine before you came in.”
“You think my life is fine?” Dante said to her. “We all have our problems, Aniya, and I was willing to share mine, just as how I was willing to help you with yours.”
“Then why did you push me away, huh? Why? Because you had to keep up with appearances?” she told him. “Because I was afraid.”
***
He couldn’t keep it to himself any longer. He was afraid. He had never felt this afraid over something he hadn’t cared much of before. This thing called love- it had been damning to him. He was afraid that she would leave him forever, and he had wanted to go first, just to save his sanity, just to keep himself from going crazy over a breakup. Breakups had been so commonplace back then, and he treated it with aplomb, and rarely did the women ever get scorned. He was afraid of losing the little girl.
Dante looked at her as he said those words, and he saw how her eyes flickered. Was that a moment of empathy for him? Some faint understanding of what he was going through, as well?
“You never shared your problems…” Aniya began.
“I got a dose of yours,” he replied, “and you were great handling it. It was like you didn’t even really need me there, but you made it seem like I had to be there, to share it with you.”
“I didn’t really….” Her voice faltered. “I know I can’t be with you, I mean look at you, and we’re worlds apart.”
“Don’t treat this like a soap opera, Aniya. So what if you earn well on your own? So what if you’re a single mom? You’re doing great at it.”
“Wait, you came here to tell me this?”
He shook his head. “I wasn’t planning to tell you a
nything. If I didn’t fall asleep, I’d have left early on. You think I’m used to this kind of conflict? I’m not. I’m ignorant, I’m a loser when it comes to empathizing. I’d always been so used to surviving, and winning, and taking what I thought I deserved.”
“This is a whole new different story, Dante.”
“It is. And I’ve only just begun to come into terms with it…. Aniya, I wasn’t great at handling the situation. I could have turned things around for you. I could have just pretended not to hear what I heard when you said he was the father-“
“Except you couldn’t, because that’s the truth, and you didn’t deserve to hear it like that,” she interrupted him.
It was true. He had always thought he deserved to hear it from her, not anytime soon, but maybe in the near future. He had been so worked up with his evolving relationship with Aniya, he hadn’t thought of asking her if she needed to reconcile anything about her past.
He was solely concentrated on their present. He had wanted to enjoy each waking and breathing moment with her and Isabella. He was never ready for potential drama. That was what real relationships were about, testing the limits, together, being there for each other, whenever.
“You looked at me like I was the dirtiest person on the planet, because I had a baby with him,” Aniya continued, her voice trembling. “I was young, I wanted to have fun, and I was alone in a foreign country. It wasn’t an excuse, but I was a kid who had a kid. I hadn’t fully realized the consequences of my actions. I barely knew him, but I wanted to get to know him better. My times of the month would come at random, like they always had. So I wasn’t really mindful about pregnancy at all, until I got sick during mornings, until I found I couldn’t lose weight, no matter how hard I exercised.
I did it all on my own. I took the tests, six times, six times I peed on that stick, all in the hopes that I was doing it wrong, and if the stick was right, he’d be there for me. Hell, I was wrong, and I thought I had walked out of his life for good. I never told him. I couldn’t have him as the father to my baby, not when he enjoyed sleeping around, not when he treated women that way. I never begged to have him back. At that moment, I saw what kind of person he truly was. You know what, I don’t even need to explain myself, now do I?”
