by Thomas Duder
Having thrown two small balls, he wasn’t ready for the third - the expanded and incredibly powerful Special improved and upgraded.
Frank roared with laughter, the wildness in his chocolate brown eyes visible even through his enhanced shades as he cried out the kiei name for the attack.
“JUKE BOX NOISE!”
Cackling wildly, Frank drew his hands down, sending the enormous sphere crashing down on them both.
Screaming and acting out of instinct, Cipher worked furiously the moment he felt Glitch Mob ready for full activation. Once again rotating the prescribed area, he focused only on the one emergency routine, muscle memory taking over even before he realized the trick Frank had employed.
Frank cackled with laughter even as he shifted his psionic energy from the hypnotic illusion, a combination of both his mesmeric ability and illusory magia, and instead telekinetically anchored himself to the ground even as they shifted.
Cipher, his rage growing with realization, had no time to retaliate as a club-like, slim bootheel raced towards his face the moment they entered into the dimension proper.
Unable to do more than to raise his arms up to cover his face, he grunted as the attack shifted and instead struck him hard in the breadbasket, doubling him over. As he dropped to his knees, he felt his head propped up slightly by an equally slim hand grasping at his chin, raising up his face to behold the small blonde woman dressed in skin-tight leathers.
Snarling, lips noticeably red against her pale features even now, the woman headbutted him and sent him sprawling to the ground to groan and clutch at his face. Though nowhere near as heavy or as powerful as Frank’s Headbutt technique, it was nevertheless well placed and hard enough for Cipher to feel it, catching him square in the face this time.
Rolling on the ground, he was saved as Frank grabbed the woman by the arms and pulled her back, growling, “Back, BACK! Down, babygirl!”
Mara turned in his arms, large, hazel eyes softening almost immediately. Dropping her gaze down to his feet, she crossed her arms in front of her and nodded, “Yes, Master.”
“Ugh,” Dash groaned as he slithered out of Jude’s pockets, slowly reforming behind him on Grimcan. Still mostly solidified goo, he had more than enough sentience to at least form a mouth and utter in a garbled, garbage-disposal voice, “What the fuck hit me?”
Frank took the young woman into his arms and brushed her hair back, revealing pointed, lobeless ears. Raising the young Fae demigoddess’s gaze up to his, he closed her eyes with a light kiss before kissing her deeper. Letting her go, noting her smile and how she once again kept her gaze downcast, Frank called out, “You got your ears reformed, bro?”
“Ugh, wait, I can’t hear you. Let me reform a ear,” Dash replied as he slowly began to extend a solid-looking green, human-ish ear from the reforming puddle.
“This feels completely disgusting, guys,” Grimcan muttered as Dash’s upper torso and head surged out of the pool of Troll goo, a massive arm already slowly growing out of his chest, the shoulder moving about his semi-soft body as it sought its proper placement.
Jude, grinning in actual mirth, patted the Pooka on the side of the neck and responded, “You get used to the weird things after a while, pardner.”
Ignoring the goblin horse’s whuff of agreement, Jude watched as Frank explained what had happened to Dash even as his head and shoulders began to rise up out of the slowly solidifying pool of regenerating bits and pieces.
“Huh, and I’m not going berserk? Good,” Dash grunted, “We don’t got time to knock me back to my senses.”
Waving a slim hand in front of Dash’s still regenerating eyes, fingerless gloves black against her pale skin, Mara noted, “Hello, hello, Dash! You didn’t say hello or greet me at all.”
Catching her wrist, Dash smelled at her fingers and grinned, “Yeah, still kinda blind. Takes my eyes and nerves a bit to regenerate still - that you, Mara girl?”
Reaching up to hug the UnGrimm Troll, Mara laughed happily as, in the background, Frank dashed forward and stunned Cipher with a fully-launched soccer ball kick, sending him hurtling ass over teakettle back to the ground to grip at his stomach.
Frank nodded, “Looks like we split up from here. Cipher, you gonna be a good boy and just stay here?”
Cipher snarled an epitaph at Frank, earning another kick to the ribs, “In that case, I’m going to leave you here for Jude and Mara. Mara, babygirl, come here.”
Holding a hand towards the young demigoddess, Frank deigned to not notice as she rushed over and fell to one knee. As she did so, her hair parted, revealing his brand, the sigil he had inherited from his own mistress a decade prior, gleaming up at him in the streetlight. Though it was a magical tattoo of the brand in her thigh, he nevertheless felt a bit of pride and happiness seeing it.
Reaching down to pet her gently, he suddenly seized a handful of her hair and forced her to look up at Cipher.
”You see that, babygirl?”
“Yes, Master,” Mara licked at her lips, her hazel eyes turning greenish in anticipation.
His voice resonating with authority, Frank growled, “If he comes after us, stop him. If you have to, kill him. Otherwise, keep his ass here.”
“Yes, Sir. Yes, my Masterrrrrr,” Mara growled, her clawed fingernails beginning to dig into the pavement.
Chuckling and giving her another gentle pat, Frank turned as Jude jumped off of Grimcan. Leaning forward and taking up two handfuls of mane, Dash began to reform his legs, his upper half already mostly solidified and shaped properly, or as properly as he ever was. Being an UnGrimm Troll, Dash was only considered “humanoid” at the best of times, his hands thrice the size of a normal human’s, his arms long and inhuman in rubberiness.
“Jude, I need you to stick around here and back Mara up,” Frank nodded, “Cipher’s strong as fuck, and though she’s well rested and ready and strong as well, Cipher’s Glitch Mob isn’t to be underestimated. I’d rather have a shit-ton of people on him than one or two and he gets the upper hand. Just back her up and do what she says.”
Jude nodded as Frank clasped him on the shoulder, doing his best not to notice Mara’s full rump or that Frank apparently had tastes towards strong-legged women, “Aye aye, cap’n! Y’know I’m as ready as a young man ever gonna be, given the situation, I reckon. ‘Sides, I’m gonna need some Pepto Bismol ‘fore the night’s done, ayup.”
Clasping him on the shoulder again, Frank shook his head and walked over to pet Grimcan and take note of Dash.
“Hey, Chief, you doin’ okay?” Frank frowned, taking stock of Dash’s recovering health.
Dash hiccuped, letting out a burst bubble of blood. Giggling to himself, he grinned, “I’ve been better bro. I think my guts just reformed.”
Sighing slightly, Frank nodded, “So it’s come to this. Plan B.”
“Yeah, Plan B, Boss! Plan B!”
Frank frowned and turned to yell, “JUDE!”
“Eh, yessir?”
Frank nodded to the young man as he stood at attention, “Dash is gonna need a change of clothes and his backup smartphone. Call up Cool Drive and have them meet him and Grimcan at the Grizeldas, the sandwich shop about a few miles north from here. He’s already forgotten what our backup plan is, and may still go berserk on us.”
Dash frowned at that, “Hey, I’m feelin’ okay and I’m not talkin’ gibberish, right? I’m formin’ up great, bro, I-”
”Will sit this round out for a bit,” Frank hissed at his partner, “And you’ll fucking let Grimcan handle any issues that pop up until you’re completely whole again, aight? Kahn, I need you to take him to Grizelda’s, over by Grand Park LA, near the 101 freeway. You good?”
The Pooka nodded, responding with grave seriousness, “I will protect my charge as you have ordered. None will harm my Master.”
“Man, there sure is a lot of ‘Master’ this and ‘Master’ that,” Jude noted.
Dash laughed at that, “There’s a lot of complicated relationships
with The Shop. Hey, Cipher, you still alive?”
Cipher groaned and waved at Dash, the fight literally kicked out of him.
Dash grunted, “Good, you little fuck. Just stay down, don’t give Jude and Mara any problems, or I’ll remember that shit.”
Clicking his tongue and spurring the goblin horse with his newly-reformed massive feet, Dash and Grimcan took off in a screaming bolt down the dark street. Turning to take in Mara’s battle-ready form, wriggling on the street as she prepared to launch herself violently at the mercenary, Frank nodded to Jude before stepping into a nearby dark alleyway, fading away into the shadows as he employed his own transportation.
Jude, fanning himself with his Stetson hat, considered the situation and realized he had just survived his first ever forced interdimensional transition.
“Well that’s somethin’ to tell my darlin’ about!”
****
Back at The Shop, a party rampaged out of control. Beer was driven in by the kegs, only to be tapped and consumed within a few moments. Toga-clad revelers threatened what police dared to show up, causing them to back their containment efforts up every so often. Though violence wasn’t the biggest issue, the threat was more that an officer would be dragged into the party to fall sway under the religious rite that was the Tordekian Orgy.
Tordek, God of Battle, Brew, and Bitches guffawed from the center of it. A dwarf-shaped creature that stood larger than a man, of heroic sinew and strength, bearing glowing electric-blue battle axe and bracer, Tordek had crossed over from one dimension to the other, invited by no one less than the Shop itself.
Uncle Chao, the wizened, powerful head priest of the cult, laughed gaily as he upended a keg over his face. Shaking his head from side to side and scattering alcohol into the mouths and upstretched hands of petitioners and revelers, Chao called out, his voice booming with power, “Yes, YES! PARTY ON MY DUDES!”
”CHAAAAAAO, MY DUUUUUDE,” Tordek cried out, drawing the priest close with an arm before swinging him around, “This is the SHIT man!!!! FUCK YEAH, this world ROCKS!”
“I tell you, Chao find good place,” Chao laughed as his patron God set him back onto the ground, watching as the Party surged forth, eating up the entire block and drawing the police in after all, “Who the fuck let THOSE guys around, anyway? Tonight is the Walpurgisnacht Jam, these jackholes shoudn’t be around!”
“They’re OURS now, Chao!” Tordek, Son of Tordek, Father of Tordek, boomed with laughter, his ice blue eyes throbbing electric with power, “Think the Pact will let us have it all tonight?!”
“We should be wary, my lord,” Chao muttered slightly, not wanting to bring anyone down but far more sane than anyone else present. Watching ex-members of the local technogang, Cyber Crime, hopping about the mosh pit that blocked the path to the Shop, Chao nodded, “The Shop will have theirs back, eventually, far worse than anything else we’ve come across before.”
Grinning, Tordek cast loving eyes towards the Shop itself, “They won’t mind if we go in, would-”
”No,” Chao spoke with finality, “If we go in, they will kill us.”
”THEN AT LEAST LET’S TURN IT ON AND SHIT,” Tordek roared, stubborn to a fault. Waving his Battle Axe about overhead, he rained electric power and alcoholic brews from another world about his gathered flock, “More wine, more beer, more bitches! COME ON, you in the Shop! Do you hear me?!
Get OUT here!”
From the outside, the Shop looked like three dilapidated shops, two stories high, closed and shut down, now fenced off. To the eyes that could see, though, the true magnificence of the place lay nascent and quiet.
As Tordek delivered his cries, the Shop responded - the invisible tower that lay atop the structure slowly began to gather a small glow around its edges in the dark gloom, lights beginning to turn on in the windows. The edges of the tower became stark and far more real than real to the eyes that could see, and Tordek smiled gleefully as the doors opened up. He could smell it, the splendors that lay guarded within.
While he wasn’t stupid enough to court violence with an organization that could cow even his noteworthy and eldritch priest, he DID want to view the inhabitants and defenders with his own eyes.
“I’m not gonna pick a fight, Chao, bro. Honest!” Tordek chuckled and stroked his long, blond beard. Wringing his hands at first, Chao relaxed as three defenders walked calmly out. At least two of them he knew wouldn’t take offense at the god’s bluster, and the third was a well-known friend to his own shop of wonders.
The centermost defender was a gargoyle of massive proportions, wearing black leather chaps and a biker jacket zipped up completely. Light blue skin and golden hair held under a black bandana, the leader of the Motorhead biker club gazed at the Party with completely black eyes, his claws held in check by massive, specially crafted leather riding gloves. His pterodactyl-like wings unfurled behind him, the head of the Gargoyle biker club, Captain, gauged the situation quickly.
“You have called the Shop, and the Shop answers,” Captain spoke aloud, his voice brooking no nonsense even as his cohorts grinned to one another behind his back, “What do you want?”
“Hey, brother,” one twin nodded towards the Party, “Think we should go investigate this revel?”
“Nay, brother,” the other twin nodded towards Tordek Himself, “this big lummox wants to throw his weight around. We have to answer in kind.”
“Brother, dear brother,” the elder twin nodded, his black, shaggy hair moving about on its own for a moment as he grinned, his dark eyes covered by long bangs, “We do have to answer in kind.”
Smoothing over his monk’s robe for a moment, the older twin called out to the God, a mystic tattoo of a snake on his left cheek glowing black against the darkness, “So yeah, what do you want?!”
The younger, clad in full plate armor with dark hair shaved save two forked bangs that covered his eyes slightly, chuckled at his older brother’s demeanor. On his right cheek a similar tattoo glowed darkly, illuminating the shadows about his brown face. Few knew the Ricketts twins’ true names, save what they told others. Having been recently on a series of adventures in the dimension-spanning Library Maze within the Shop, they had come across their fair share of other gods and empowered types.
To be honest, they had heard of Tordek long before this encounter and were fighting the temptation to rush over and join the fun.
Still, to present weakness to either side would be something that simply wasn’t very Tordekian. Tordek, himself, was quite the Tordekian, first among friends as well as worshipers.
Grinning wide, the god held up a foaming mug of something delicious smelling and heady, calling out, “Come out and hang with us! You can’t be holed up there forever, aye? Aye!”
Captain sighed, “Look, we need all the defenses we can get right now. Even now, the Shop is powered down and Control must use this time to reboot. If we relax our guard, then we may fail in this endeavor.”
The younger Ricketts twin tutted slightly, “You and yours have the rooftops covered, and we have our own defenses set in the Shop proper. Nothing has crossed the various thresholds, and we’re doing good. You need to relax, Captain.”
“Yeah, relax, Captain!” the older Ricketts twin murmured in the same soft voice.
Captain groaned, “Look, once Frank or Dash gives us the say-so, we’ll let all you idiots do your thing. Hell, we’ll even join in!”
Captain frowned as the bluetooth comm unit in his ear sprang to life, a gravelly voice murmuring aloud, “We’re doing well here, Captain. Our boys in the air and prowling the halls could use a drink or two. We’ve got a mass of the ground troops over by Greasy’s garage, and I’m certain they’d all appreciate it. Sir.”
From where she lay lounging on the edge of the rooftop, Dagger chuckled as she lowered her radio. A pair of binoculars hiding her own black eyes, standing in stark contrast to her pale skin, the tiny wings that sprouted from her shoulders waved about the warm night air, unrestricted due to th
e tight, sleeveless leather vest she wore, bearing the same moniker that all Motorhead members wore on the back of it: the white skull and crossbones, the whole image covered in black and purple roses, and the words “Ride Or Die” on the bottom.
Her black hair cut short recently, she clucked her own rough lips with a tongue strong enough to smash bone with, chuckling as she noted how much brew was being passed around by the Tordekians.
“Clever, you little wizened bastard,” Dagger smiled, thinking on Chao, “I see that you’ve left a few kegs with our stamps on them. I’ll play along, for a little bit. In the very least, we can show you bastards what a gargoyle can really do compared to you frail Tordekians!”
Down below, Captain considered then chuckled, nodding to Tordek Himself, “Fine. Chao and five of your people can come into the Shop, but NO ONE ELSE! If you start a Party in there, we’ll have your head.”
The older Ricketts twin whooped with laughter, “Did you hear that, Ronnie?”
“Finally, a drink or two, Donnie!” the younger Ricketts twin clapped his hands at the thought of it.
Captain groaned, hoping he had made the right decision. Though the Ricketts twins were growing in power and strength, they were still young, as were the current generation of Fae within the Shop. And with the natural defenses of the place compromised while the main ethereal computer rebooted, he was loathe to find out what would happen if the rest of the Fae ever got even a whiff of the otherworldly beer Tordek had offered.
Still, the scent of it enticed him in ways that few other drinks ever had, the very smell of it wafting over him in a wave.
“Time for some famous last words, boys,” Captain grumbled to the twins, who paid heed as he continued, “What harm is there in a little drink, eh?”
****
Round 3
“So how did you two meet?”
Mara’s cool eyes glanced over at Jude before swinging back to Cipher, “That’s an interesting question. He didn’t tell you about me?”
