Starling Days

by Rowan Hisayo Buchanan

  “Did I tell you about the time I held a bat?” he asked.

  “Tell me again,” she said.

  AUTHOR’S NOTE

  If you are fighting with your own sadnesses or love someone who is, this note is for you.

  The seed of this book emerged from the struggles of people very dear to me and from my own challenges. Not everyone who is sad is sick but I have been sick and I have loved those who were sick. However, the characters within this book are fictional beings. Their views are their own and should not be taken as advice.

  This novel is not intended as a celebration of or an attack on the psychiatric-pharmacological process. How you decide to handle your illness will come from talking to professionals you trust, those who love you, and your own sense. For some the journey to health is fast, and for others it is long and slow and full of setbacks. Sometimes a particular medication or a particular therapy will work wonders for one individual and not succeed for another. Whether you have a long or short road to health is a mixture of luck, circumstance, and biology. In writing this book, I hoped simply to write the story of two people attempting to walk that path together.

  But I would like to say this:

  Every day you try again is an act of bravery. Although this is worthy of pride, you may not feel able to be proud of yourself. So I would like to wish you congratulations on being here today.

  THANK YOU

  This book was only possible because of the generosity of many.

  Thank you to everyone who read and supported Harmless Like You. You gave me the courage to keep writing. Thank you to the bookshops that stocked Harmless Like You and gave it a way to meet readers.

  Special thanks and appreciation must go to my agent Lucy Luck who fights all my battles and to Francine Toon for being such a wise editor and friend. Indeed, thank you to everyone at Sceptre and Conville and Walsh for taking me into your fold. Especially—Louise Court, Natalie Chen, Susan Spratt, Helen Flood, Megan Schaffer, Rebecca Folland, Hazel Orme and the translation team at C&W.

  Thank you to Sophia Brown and Jessica J. Lee for their excellent proofreading.

  Thank you so much to the USA team at The Overlook Press and Abrams; particularly to Tracy Carns, who adopted Starling Days and brought me into the Overlook family. Thank you, too, to Beth Parker for her advice and cheerleading!

  The epigraphs of this book are taken from the work of B. J. Marples’ “The Winter Starling Roosts of Great Britain, 1932-1933,” from the Journal of Animal Ecology and from a loose adaption of the OED online definition of augury.

  Forever indebted to Paul and Francine for their knowledge of classics. While writing this book, I consulted many sources but in particular: Charles Martin’s translation of the Metamorphoses, Harold Isbell’s translation of the Heroides, Tom Payne’s translation of The Art of Love, Mary Beard’s Women & Power, Seamus Heaney’s Aeneid VI, Mary Lefkowitz and Maureen Fant’s Women’s Life in Greece & Rome.

  Thank you to Hedgebrook without which many of the scenes of this book would not have been written. Thank you to Gladstone’s Library where I sat under stained glass and sliced away wobbly sentences. Thank you to Asian American Writers’ Workshop and to Kundiman—two organizations whose work and power I am forever awed by.

  Thank you to Henry Sutton and Stephen Benson at UEA, who guided me throughout this project. Thank you to Karen Tei Yamashita who read the first pages and told me to believe in this voice.

  Thank you to Paul who sat with me as I read aloud the first shaky drafts of this book. Thank you to Alice who is a well of kindness and intelligence and without whom there would be no title. Thank you Ilana without whom this would be a different book. Thank you Aby who sat with me for so many days and told me to follow my nose. Thank you Tony for everything before and after writing this book.

  Thank you to the friends with whom I talked through the kinks of this book—Eric, Emily, Kathleen, Lee, Lindsay, Lizzie, T Kira, both Saras, and Sharlene! Thank you to all my friends who asked, “How are you doing?” and listened to the rambling answer.

  Thank you to my father, my mother, my brother. Thank you to Gloria and Peta for everything you do. Thank you to my grandmother for her snark and love.