She drew the next shape.
“It’s a triangle. Make it harder.”
“All right,” Jenna said, smiling down at the little girl. “How about letters?”
Jenna traced along Kate’s back.
“It’s a K. It’s a K, Daddy. I’m good at this game.”
“Yes, you are, Jellybean,” Ben answered, his voice thick with emotion.
Jenna continued making letters and numbers on Kate’s back. With each correct guess, Kate became more animated.
Soon the storm was forgotten, and Kate grew sleepy as Jenna traced the outline of the letter Z on her back for the third time, then the fourth, then the fifth.
“I think she’s asleep,” Jenna whispered.
Ben looked on in disbelief. This was the first time Kate had spoken during a storm, and it was all because of Jenna.
He could see Kate’s connection to Jenna deepening, and he couldn’t deny his own feelings. Avoiding her this week had been a living hell. Just catching glimpses of her working through the windows of the carriage house at night or coming back from an early morning run had made his limbs twitch. He was like a man going through withdrawal, and his entire body ached to touch her.
“Ben, I need to ask you something,” Jenna said, her words breaking into his thoughts.
He lifted his gaze from his sleeping daughter.
“The day Kate went into the garage, you called me Sara.”
“I know.”
He’d realized he’d made the mistake nearly the moment the word escaped his mouth. He rubbed his hands over his eyes and leaned forward.
He needed to say more, but he didn’t know where to start or how to convey the significance of that garage. And he didn’t want to make Jenna feel responsible for causing his outburst.
“I wish you’d tell me what happened. I’ve never seen you act like that.”
He looked at her, surrounded by the glow of the candles and wearing his old t-shirt. It had been so long since he’d talked about Sara’s death. Of course, he thought about it. The events of that day were always close to the surface for him. He only had to look at Kate to be reminded of almost losing her, too.
“The garage is where Sara died and where I almost lost Kate.”
“What do you…” Jenna began, but then a knowing expression crossed her face. “Kate lost her mother and was exposed to carbon monoxide at the same time.”
Ben nodded.
Jenna’s eyes filled with tears as she put together the pieces of Ben’s shattered life.
“Sara took her own life and tried to take Kate with her?”
He nodded again.
“Was it raining that day?”
Ben released a breath. “Yes, with thunder and lightning.”
Jenna placed a hand on Kate’s head; then she reached her other hand out toward him. They were sitting catty-corner to each other with their knees almost touching. Her hand was so close to him now. He was sitting on the edge of the couch with his elbows on his knees and his fingers laced tightly together, but he felt them loosen and disengage as her hand drew closer to his.
He took Jenna’s hand into his. Her touch was a lifeline. He was a drowning man, and she had just thrown him a rope.
He let out a breath. “Some days, I can’t stop going over what I could have done differently. I loved Sara, but I don’t know how to forgive her.”
Jenna gave his hand a gentle squeeze, urging him to go on.
The story of his life with Sara came slowly at first, but he found that as he opened up to Jenna, every word he spoke brought him closer to a peace he hadn’t known in years.
18
Ben and Jenna talked for hours, and her hand had stayed securely clasped in his. He told her everything: the good and the terrible, the beautiful and the tragic.
The candlelit basement had become his refuge from both the storm outside and the internal storm he weathered every day, not fueled by wind or rain but guilt and shame. He could have spent his whole life on that couch holding Jenna’s hand and watching his daughter sleep peacefully in her lap.
He tried to ignore the rattle and click of the ice maker and the whispers of the air conditioner forcing cool air through the vents. These were the unmistakable sounds of restored electricity. A signal that their time in the basement had come to an end.
She looked down at her hand, still clasped in his, and he knew she was just as reluctant to let go as he was. His chest tightened as Jenna smiled and her gaze moved over Kate.
“We should probably get this sweet girl up to bed,” she said, stroking Kate’s hair.
“That’s probably a good idea.”
He was different now. For many years, he was like this house in a storm, still standing but dormant on the inside. Jenna had brought him back to life.
He turned her hand over to expose the remnants of the butterfly that had once matched Kate’s. He traced the outline, his touch making her tremble.
His daughter shifted on Jenna’s lap, reaching out her little arms in her sleep. He smiled down at his brave little girl and smoothed back her chestnut locks of hair.
“I’ll blow out the candles,” Jenna said softly.
Ben took one last look at the faded butterfly on Jenna’s hand before carefully lifting Kate into his arms. The room darkened around them as Jenna blew out the candles.
He stopped at the foot of the steps. “Are you ready?”
Was she ready?
Ben was only asking if she was ready to go upstairs, but Jenna was reading more into those three words.
Was she ready for what came next? And what exactly did come next?
She nodded. If she tried to speak, her voice would reveal the depth of emotion she felt for him.
She followed Ben up the basement stairs watching Kate’s head bob up and down with each step. She turned toward the French doors leading out to the carriage house. But just as Ben was about to start up the staircase, Kate opened her eyes languidly and focused on her.
“Jenna, don’t go. Tuck me in,” Kate said, her voice groggy with sleep.
Jenna glanced toward the carriage house. Her first impulse was to run. She needed to be alone to think. She needed time away from Ben and the swirling emotions twisting through her body. But then Kate gave her a sleepy grin, and she knew her escape was going to have to wait.
“Okay, sweet girl. Let’s get you up to bed,” Jenna said, falling into step with Ben.
The three of them climbed the stairs lit only by the golden glow of a nightlight. She felt raw and exposed. It terrified her how natural this felt. It was as if the three of them were meant to be together, and she couldn’t deny how much her body ached to be back in Ben’s arms.
She followed Ben into Kate’s room. He turned on the lamp next to the bed, and the room filled with a pink pool of light. Jenna turned down the covers as Ben placed Kate in the center of the bed. He tucked the blanket in all around her, making her look like a little burrito, snug and safe.
Jenna sat on the edge of Kate’s bed opposite Ben and touched the little girl’s cheek. “You were very brave tonight, Miss Kate. Sweet dreams.”
Kate smiled and blinked her sleepy eyes. “Daddy, I wasn’t scared of the storm.”
“No, you weren’t, Bean. You are such a big girl.”
Kate looked back and forth between her father and Jenna, her eyes closing as her face relaxed into sleep.
They sat there for a beat watching Kate sleep. Jenna looked up and met Ben’s gaze. She had never known another person the way she now knew Ben. She knew his pain and wondered if she’d ever be brave enough to speak about her past.
What would he think if she told him everything?
Ben’s gaze darkened, and his wanting eyes wiped all thoughts of the past out of her mind. Jenna stood to leave and felt Ben behind her. There was an energy pulling them together. He closed Kate’s bedroom door, and they were now, for the first time in hours, all alone.
“You probably want to go check and make sure th
e house is okay,” Jenna said, looking away and trying to ignore the desire she’d seen swimming in his eyes.
Ben didn’t reply. He moved closer to her in the darkness. The chemistry between them was undeniable as every nerve in her body started crackling, vibrating with anticipation.
He cradled her face in his hands. They were just the right amount of rough, and Jenna’s nipples tightened in response to his touch. Her vision adjusted to the dim light of the hall, and she looked into his eyes and recognized the need and longing she was sure he saw mirrored back in her own.
“The only thing I want right now is you,” Ben said, then his lips descended onto hers in a scorching kiss.
She kissed him back, sighing into his mouth as he moved one hand into her hair while the other skimmed the hem of her t-shirt. He walked her backward, kissing and caressing her until her body pressed up against his bedroom door. She was warm and soft against his sharp angles. He kissed her earlobe, and she gasped. She was losing control.
Her thoughts seesawed wildly between wanting Ben, wanting a life with him, but knowing it wasn’t possible. She didn’t want to hurt him. But she was falling for him and for the life he shared with his daughter.
It couldn’t be real, could it? Liars didn’t deserve all this.
But just as the soundtrack of second-guessing and self-loathing nearly became too much to bear, Ben whispered her name like a prayer, hot and heavy in her ear, forcing her mind to focus solely on him.
“I have wanted this for a lifetime,” he breathed, taking her earlobe between his teeth.
She was desperate for him to be closer, for his kisses to be deeper. She wanted to memorize each touch, each brush of skin on skin. Reaching under his shirt, Jenna let her hands explore the expanse of his back, feeling his taut muscles flex beneath her fingers.
She felt her way down, inch by glorious inch, to the waistband of his pants. The heat between her legs was growing to a near inferno as his male scent fed her desire. Jenna twisted her fingers into the fabric of his pants. Ben responded by cupping her ass and lifted her up and against the door. He pressed the heat of his erection into her core, and her legs wrapped around his torso, bringing them eye to eye.
Jenna brought her hands to Ben’s face and forced herself to pull away from his kiss. She had to make him understand her time here was only temporary. She had to give him the choice to stop and walk away before things went too far. “I don’t know if we should be doing this. There’s so much you don’t know, and I’ll be leaving as soon as…”
But she couldn’t go on.
His voice was thick and low as he leaned forward, his lips pressing a whisper of a kiss to the corner of her mouth. “I don’t want to talk about how long you’re here or when you’re leaving,” he said, then licked a hot trail along her jawline. “I want you for as long as I can have you.”
His mouth descended on hers with a desperate growl, and he kissed her with the intensity of a starving man who had just been offered a feast.
“Okay,” she breathed, unable to deny herself any longer.
Jenna’s pulse hammered in her throat as she reached down and turned the doorknob, letting Ben know exactly where she wanted him to take her.
He ushered her inside and closed the door, gently setting her back on her feet. Now inside the confines of his room, Jenna turned from him and looked over toward the window. The blinds were slightly open allowing for the light from the carriage house’s outdoor lamp to cast a dim glow.
“You can see right in, can’t you?” she asked, gesturing with her chin.
But Ben didn’t react to her teasing comment the way she thought he would. His face became earnest as he ran his thumb across her bottom lip, then cupped her face in his hand.
“I like knowing you’re so close. I like watching you work at night. You still twirl your hair around your finger when you’re concentrating, just like you did back in high school.”
Jenna’s world shifted. He did remember. She had been so embarrassed by what seemed like their one-sided connection. She assumed that he’d forgotten her. Her eyes shined with tears. She thought she needed distance to figure things out. But now she knew, she was right where she belonged.
Fierce arousal coursed through her body as she thought of him watching her, night after night.
She went to the window and positioned herself in the pale beams of light. She raised her t-shirt over her head and let it fall. The boxer shorts came next and joined the shirt in a small heap on the floor.
Ben’s gaze moved greedily over her naked body, taking in the fullness of her breasts, her lean torso, and those long, toned legs.
“You are so beautiful,” he said, adding his shirt to the pile of clothing on the floor and taking her into his arms. “I can’t believe you’re here, and you’re mine.”
Mine.
Gazing into his eyes, she surrendered. Being with a man had never been like this. For Jenna, sex had always been about the release and those precious seconds when she would disappear inside herself, the wretched soundtrack of her mind put briefly on hold. But this, this was so much more. Her mind was spinning, her body humming. There was no turning off the soundtrack. Now Ben was the soundtrack. Instead of filling her head with all her faults and weaknesses, her mind was flooded with a happiness flowing through her body, mingling with lust and desire and creating a storm of emotions where he was her shelter.
“Ben,” she breathed.
He removed his pants and sank to his knees in front of her. He pressed his lips to her stomach, kissing and licking. “You taste so good,” he moaned, cupping her ass as he worked his way up her body.
Jenna closed her eyes. Each brush of his lips sent a rush of heat to her core. He kissed a trail up her stomach to the space between her breasts then took one tight peak into his mouth. She released a breathy sigh.
“I like turning you on,” Ben whispered into the darkness, his words sending shivers up her spine.
He kissed a line across her collarbone then gathered her into his arms and guided her onto the bed. He covered her body with his. Each point of contact felt like a thousand tiny electrical pops. He pressed up onto an elbow and smoothed back a lock of her hair. His cock pressed against her entrance as he gazed down at her. Jenna licked her lips, and Ben’s cock twitched between her legs.
“Do we need a condom?” he asked, his expression going from carnal desire to one of hesitant uncertainty.
Jenna had been on the pill for years, but she always used condoms. Yes, it was the smart thing to do, but she didn’t only use them for the physical barrier. They also provided her with an emotional barrier. Until now, she needed the reassurance that sex was just sex, a biological need, not something that bordered on intimate contact or attachment.
“I’m on the pill,” she whispered, then nudged her hips into him and inhaled sharply as his cock pressed past her delicate folds.
Arching forward, Jenna let her hands glide down the planes of his back, acutely aware of his strength as his muscles flexed above her.
For a beat, neither of them moved.
Jenna brought her hands to Ben’s face. “It’s really you. This is all real.”
He smiled. “This is the most real thing I’ve ever known.”
Her fingertips traced his jawline until they found the nape of his neck. How many times had she daydreamed about this man?
His gaze darkened. “Put your hands above your head,” he said in a commanding growl.
Jenna complied, hardly able to stop herself from bucking up into him, wanting desperately for him to start moving. But Ben had shifted one of his hands to her hip and held her still, forcing her to keep her desire at bay. With his other hand, he trapped her slender wrists above her head, then pulled himself back and drove his cock in hard.
Jenna bit her lip and tried to keep a gasp of pleasure from escaping as Ben began grinding against her sensitive bud, his hand gripping her hip as he set a steady pace thrusting deep inside and filling her completely.
She’d never been with a man like this, face to face, his body hot and heavy, pinning her down. The thought of this vulnerable position used to terrify her, but not now, not with Ben. She was completely at his mercy, and it was making her body sing with pleasure.
She was so close. With each thrust, she soared higher. She closed her eyes, rolling her head back, her orgasm ready to break through, but Ben stopped her.
“Open your eyes. I want you with me when I make you come,” he said, doubling his pace as sweat from his exertion dripped onto her breasts.
She complied, his words igniting all her senses like adding gasoline to a wildfire. Moving in perfect synchronicity, they went over the edge. Their release rocketed through their writhing bodies as they rode out each sweet wave of pleasure.
Ben dropped her wrists, and her hands went to his face. She needed him to stay right where he was, his body on top of hers, making her feel so safe and so protected.
He lowered his head and pressed a kiss to her neck. “Thank you,” he whispered.
“For what?”
“For bringing me back to life.”
Jenna didn’t let herself fall asleep. It would have been easy to succumb to slumber, warm and safe in Ben’s embrace. She closed her eyes and focused on the sound of him breathing and sighed as she felt his breath against her cheek.
It was still dark out when the sound of birds greeting the day signaled it was nearly first light. She stroked his hair while paying particular attention to the way it curled around his ear, and then she kissed his lips. She smiled at the thought of those lips kissing her breasts, her thighs, and making her body come alive. His eyes opened, and he gave her a sweet, sleepy grin.
“Hey,” he said, his gaze focused on her face while his hand caressed her hip.
“Hey,” she echoed. “I better go. I don’t want Kate to find me here when she wakes up.”
Ben’s hand tightened on her hip. She could feel the disappointment radiating off of him.
“Kate’s crazy about you. I think she would be thrilled to have you at the breakfast table. I know I would.” He didn’t wait for her to respond and kissed her.
The Complete Langley Park Series (Books 1-5) Page 15
