by J E Mueller
“Okay so what first?” I asked. The sky was just bright enough to see. Morning dew soaked into my clothes, but it felt refreshing against my always warm skin.
“Instead of concentrating your energy to different places and keeping it there or holding it back in general, direct it through another part of your body, like your toes or somewhere else that is not currently being touched.” Lee instructed.
I nodded and tried that, remembering the blaze of heat that I would normally feel go from my core to my fingers. I concentrated as he said on not withholding it and instead on sending it elsewhere and out. My toes warmed as I tried directing it towards the ground. The magic was unable to make contact with flesh and seemed to disappear as it continued to strike the ground. It was a long moment before I realized it was no longer streaming from my hands.
My surprise broke my control but Lee just smiled. “Again,” he encouraged, eyes gleaming with joy.
I rolled my eyes at him, but smiled. He had plenty of recent down time to consider my options, but I was glad something had worked. It seemed so simple, I wondered why I hadn’t tried it before. Then again, my focus had all been on keeping it locked within me. It irritated me that the solution I had wanted worked for others but not myself. Still, I had finally found something that worked.
Over and over we tried this new idea again. It would only work for a short time, but it seemed to get easier for me to keep up. Lee was right. He had figured out something that worked without a flaw, and now it just needed practice. It was as simple as understanding how my magic worked to its fullest, and the only way to get there was to actually use it to it’s fullest potential. While the answer to my problems felt clear as the daylight growing around me, I wouldn’t have tried something like this until something drastic had happened. That battle was the push I needed to fully let go of my magic and only such a desperate situation would have caused me to go all out. Aggie was right in her guess that her words wouldn’t help things.
We practiced all morning and well into the afternoon until I felt confident I knew what I was doing. Even then I was nervous to try a simple handshake. Juni volunteered without hesitation, saying she knew I wouldn’t kill her.
“I still don’t understand how your magic works.” I confessed in an attempt to stall having to sake her hand.
“No matter, it’s true.” Juni offered her hand for the second time.
I shook my head. “Lee, can we borrow your future magic just to be sure?”
Lee chuckled but complied with the request. After a moment he nodded, “Yeah, you’re good to go.”
His visions hadn’t been wrong yet, but I felt my nerves build up. Butterflies might burst from my stomach at any moment, and that might be the worst of the problems I could have.
“Celia?” I asked begging for her added opinion.
With a wave, she laughed but glanced into the future anyway. “All is well. Juni lives another day. The touch won’t kill her. However, I will be changing my dinner plans.”
I blinked in confusion. “What?”
“Dinner is just a mess and not worth preparing tonight. Something else will work better.” Celia shrugged off her own vision, and winked at me. “Now, I bet you’re a bit less nervous.”
Her ploy worked for a moment, but my stomach resumed tying itself into knots. With a deep breath I offered her my hand, glove free, and Juni shook it without any doubt.
Juni smiled happily when nothing happened, and I breathed a sigh of relief. All the practice and effort had drained me, but I was thrilled to have taken a step in the right direction.
Now I had to master keeping my magic under control when unexpected contact could occur so that I could dress like a normal person and not worry about covering every inch of myself, unless I chose to. I’d have options. The taste of freedom was sweet on my lips.
“We should visit your family,” Lee suggested again after three days of very productive practice. “Things are going the right way, and they may like to share in the joy of your progress.”
“Let me think about it.” It didn’t sound like a good idea, but I thought about it for the rest of the day. While rejection was a justified fear, I came to realize that it wouldn’t be the worst thing I had faced. It would be sad, yes, but these were people I no longer knew. If we weren’t meant to communicate this would finalize it, and my past could be put to rest.
I agreed with some hesitation, and we sent off a letter. In it I included one of the flyers floating around that advertized that I was missing.
Dearest family, while I’ve been avoiding you for years, I wanted to thank you for keeping up your search. Things are going better now, and I may be ready to see you once again. I’m not sure how old these flyers are, but if you are still looking for me, send word to the attached address and my friends will let me know. Whatever your reply, I hope to hear from you again soon.
In all honesty, I didn’t expect a reply.
Part of me wondered if they’d even see my letter or believe it was me. After all the mail they likely received and had to sort through, it seemed mine would get lost in the shuffle. Instead of worrying about receiving a response, I continued to practice my magic and help Celia with all that I could. Leia had left days before, and Lee did his best to help Celia’s husband work the forge. It seemed he was eager to learn and the extra help went a long way.
To my surprise, a week later a letter arrived for me.
“What’s this?” I asked setting the broom aside as Celia handed it over.
“I’d assume it’s your reply.” Celia smiled, “But we won’t know until you open it.”
In that moment I noticed that everyone had gathered to see what was about to unfold. Clenching the letter, I considered my options. Running out of the room and reading it alone sounded better than having a swarm of people watching me read it. Thankfully, I didn’t have to say anything.
“She gets news from her long lost family and all of you stand around like you’ve nothing to do!” Juni fumed jokingly, “We’ll mind our manners and let her read in peace now, won’t we?”
Lee sighed as exaggeratedly as possible. “If you insist, mother dearest.”
“Yes, there’s still dinner to finish, and that laundry must be dry by now,” Celia mumbled.
Juni watched them go before leaving herself.
Breaking the seal, I read it right where I stood.
Little Kikara, your letter has caused quite a stir. We’re unsure how it took so long for our searching to find you, but we are indeed glad to hear you are alive and well. We hope to be graced with your presence as promptly as you are able to come. I will see to the preparations at once. If you give us leave as to when you would like to arrive, an escort can be sent. However, if it better suits you to travel alone we will respect your choice. To see you again would bring us more joy than words can express. We look forward to hearing a quick reply.
Your sister,
Sandra
After rereading it a few times, I sat on the sofa. My heart was pounding, and my brain couldn’t comprehend that they had actually replied. That Sandra herself took the time to write the reply. It was her signature all right. She had practiced it so much, there was no way it was anyone else's. My head felt light, and I realized I needed to take a deep breath.
Lee peeked in, already done pretending to be the good son. I had no doubt that Juni wasn’t in sight to keep him at bay, but it was fine. I waved him over.
“What did it say?” he asked much too excitedly.
I offered the papers to him, “Sandra’s handwriting is perfect, as usual.” My mind was keen on focusing on her strong traits and was unsure what to do with the actual contents of the letter.
“So that’s it then. You just need to let them know when to expect you and we can be off.” Lee’s excitement was palpable.
“I don’t even know if I want this.” I got up to pace around the room. “Do they really want to see me? Do they even believe it’s me? They’ve no way to know
for certain it’s even me who wrote it.”
“Guess you’ll just have to go and see. The only way to prove it’s you is to actually go. The only way for them to show they truly missed you is to be there with them and find out.” Lee set the letter back on the sofa.
“Can you stop being right for a moment?” I sighed. His words were likely the truth.
“Sure.” He looked thoughtful. “No, actually I can’t think of anything, since it’d be a lie. Your family made a lot of effort to make flyers to reach out to you, and they willingly responded to a chance letter. It’s worth going to see them.”
After a few hours I wrote my reply. It was hard to figure out when to go, but it seemed sooner would be better rather than later. It would be harder to chicken out if I went in the near future.
With the decision made we prepared to leave in a few days. Juni would stay and help Celia until we returned.
Setting out was a bit nerve wracking and we were barely out of the village when I almost turned back.
“They probably don’t want to see me,” I said unconvincingly.
Lee had found a missing poster earlier, so he wasn’t buying it. “They wouldn’t go through all this effort for no reason,” he said for the third time today.
“Maybe they just want to kill me once and for all.” I sighed.
“That wouldn’t work well. You’d have half of them killed before an arrow could reach you. You’re overthinking things,” he insisted, leading the way.
“Someone’s got to. Realistically, it’s impossible for everything to turn out positively.” I crossed my arms but stuck to the path.
“Statistically speaking everything can’t be bad either. Having things turn out well once in a while can happen too. It’s about time something turned out well for you,” Lee continued.
I just stared at him. “I’m already happy with the good that managed to come back into my life. Pressing my luck doesn’t seem to bode well, and my gut says things aren’t going to go as expected.” I tugged at the necklace Juni had given me, hoping the balance she enchanted it with would still work on me despite my curse.
Lee sighed, magic lighting his eyes. He smiled at me. “Looks good to me. At most they’ll make your least favorite meal by mistake and spend all night feeling sorry for it.”
It was five day walk, even with all the extra breaks Lee needed to rest. I imagined if we had received an escort we would have had horses, but walking suited me. When the castle came within sight I was ready to change my mind. The towering structure was still gorgeous. It had not changed at all, and I was glad to see my memory hadn’t failed me.
“Let’s go back,” I said turning around as a wave of uncertainty struck me once more. “I can’t even think of what to say to them.” I had been trying to think of what to say for days, but nothing seemed right.
“Maybe they’ll say something first so you can just reply,” Lee suggested with a shrug. “How will you know otherwise?”
“Maybe it’d be better to write to them a few times first. Break the ice a little more.” I replied wishing I had thought of that first. It had been a long time since I had written anything. I could likely use the practice. My penmanship was an atrocity for someone with royal blood.
“They were asking about you before I left home. I’ve no doubt they miss you,” Lee replied softly, trying to be comforting.
“What brings you to the King's Wood?” a voice asked.
We turned to see a castle guard. He was a patrolman, fingering the sword at his side as he eyed us suspiciously.
“We’ve a meeting with the royal family. We’re expected,” Lee replied with simple confidence.
The guard looked us up and down.
“Why aren’t you traveling on the main road if you’re expected?” he asked doubting us reasonably enough.
“It was a straighter walk from Faraden to not take the main road.” Lee replied and pointed out our current path. “We should be on the main road soon if you’d be kind enough to escort?”
The town’s name rang a bell. “Princess Kikara?” the guard asked with surprise.
“I don’t think princess is a suiting title for me, but yes, I am Kikara.” I blushed. There was no way I was going to willingly let anyone refer to me by my title.
The guard pulled out a small horn and sounded it before turning to us. “Yes. You are expected. The first to spot you wins a pretty nice meal. Not to mention many wagered you wouldn’t even show.”
“That was the debate you walked in on,” I admitted. “It’s been a long time.” It actually amused me there were those who didn’t think I’d show. They had nearly been correct.
The guard nodded. “This way to the main gates.” He motioned for us to follow.
As soon as we were on the main road, there were several guards and curious staff awaiting us. While I could feel their curious glances upon me, I knew they were too well trained to question me without leave to do so. It was a wonderful moment because I had time to compose myself before meeting my remaining family.
“Queen Sandra would like to see you at once if your journey hasn’t exhausted you.” One of the maids said when we were past the inner keep.
“Who will we be meeting with?” I asked as formally as I could. My tone didn’t seem right. I was much more used to bantering with people like Kegan. Trying to sound like royalty again was going to be rough.
“Just the royal family my lady. Not even the guards are not allowed to be present at the meeting,” she replied, eyes cast down.
“If she’ll allow my friend to accompany me we will meet her at once.” Hopefully that rule wouldn’t apply to me. I didn’t want to face them alone just yet.
The maid nodded and was quickly off. With back halls and hidden passages she’d have a reply before we reached the royal chambers.
I guessed right as she returned just when I expected.
“Queen Sandra requests only that all weapons are left behind. My lady’s response?” she asked, barely meeting my eyes.
I handed her my pack and sword. “It’s a fair trade.” I glanced at Lee as he handed his weapons over as well.
“Those are all the weapons we brought.” Lee nodded his consent. “Thank you for your aid.”
Soon we stood just outside the doors of the royal chambers. The guards, as promised, turned to leave and stood at the far end of the hall. My heart raced and I begged my magic to be still. Lee squeezed my hand in support. Letting go, I pushed open the doors.
Chapter 21
Inside was a waiting room I had once known well. It had been redone over the years, but the same style of sofas and chairs forming a semicircle remained. For a moment we all stared at one another as the doors closed quietly behind me. Sandra and David looked older, but hadn’t changed much in appearance. Zarek had grown into himself and looked very different. He was no longer the lanky brother I had once chased around the palace.
“You’ve grown, baby sister,” Zarek said after a moment.
“I’m surprised they talked you into cutting off all your hair,” I replied in turn.
Zarek rubbed his close cut hair. “It’s really hard to be taken seriously as the head military official when your hair is as pretty as mine was.”
“I’m glad their biggest issue was your hair and not your age.” I wasn’t sure what else to say, but was glad Zarek seemed to know what to say.
Zarek shrugged, “Keeping a lot of the older advisors helped more with that than anything. It is more important to know your strengths and part knowing when to ask for help from others.” He tried to wave me closer, but I hesitated.
“I haven’t mastered either of those,” I admitted.
Zarek laughed. “Still rushing through everything?”
“I’ve mastered that much.” I nodded, trying to keep the conversation light. My heart already as if felt it could explode through my ribs.
Sandra smiled, trying to join in. “So little Key where have you been hiding?”
“Just
about everywhere, Sanny,” I replied, not really sure where to begin.
Her eyes lit up at the old nickname. “Nothing less would have convinced me. Truly though, where?” It surprised me that her nickname was what really convinced her that it was me, but I couldn’t remember if I was the one who came up with it or not.
I listed off a handful of towns – most of which were in the southern part of the province.
“See? Moving our efforts south helped.” David nodded, proud of himself. It was nice to finally hear him speak up.
“I made a deal with myself that I’d respond to the flyers only after I knew I wouldn’t accidently kill any of you,” I informed him. I didn’t want to tell him the flyers didn’t really play any part in this matter.
“You’ve done it, then?” Sandra asked happily, “You beat the curse that Ramulus bestowed upon us?” It was weird hearing father’s name.
“No.” I shook my head, ignoring his name. I wish I had been able to say yes, and originally that was the main goal, but things had changed. “It’s under enough control that I won’t accidently kill someone. I still have a lot of practice ahead.”
“Well, I win that bet.” David looked over at Sandra.
“She has it under control. No deal.” Sandra shook her head.
I glanced over at Zarek, and he shrugged. “I didn’t think you’d show, so we made bets.” Did they really all take bets on the situation? I wasn’t sure if I should be amused or annoyed.
Sandra seemed to finally notice Lee standing a step behind me, “And who’s this?”
“This is Lee. He’s a friend who has helped me learn to control my magic.” I introduced them all in turn.
“Why don’t you come sit down and catch us up on where you’ve been.” David beckoned to me.
I hesitated for a moment but did finally take a seat, Lee by my side.
“Most recently, Faraden. Before that I was in Kinsfield,” I started to explain but was quickly cut off.
“Wait, the very same Kinsfield that was just attacked?” Zarek exclaimed. He resettled himself in his seat, trying to keep up the more formal look he had had earlier.
