“Sinclair,” Dom said.
Jesse breathed harder. His heart pounded way too fast. He felt like he was back in the Facility again, and someone would come in and bring him away. Larson. He was here, wasn’t he? Where was his bitterwood scent?
“Sinclair,” Dom said. “Jesse!”
Jesse tore away from him, scrambling for the door. He struggled with the knob. Then he threw it open and barreled down the hallway, cataloging all the movements. All the potential threats. They could come after him. If there’d only been one of them, he could take them down. But there were so many that he was outnumbered.
Run.
Jesse blundered through the hallways, trying to follow the signs to the exit. But there were so many people, he knew he couldn’t leave that way. He turned back. Maybe there’d be a window in the bathroom. He thought he’d seen a window there. Maybe he could escape.
Fear crawled up his throat and closed it, and he couldn’t breathe.
He was almost into the bathroom when someone else barreled against him, an unyielding weight. He struggled against it, snarling when the person forced him into the bathroom. The window was there. But Jesse needed to get his captor down.
He threw a punch; the person blocked it. Then he was slammed against the wall, pressed down by that warm body. He tried to look at the window again. He needed to escape before the rest of his captors showed up.
Something came up, blocking his view of the window. The man turned his face, forcing their eyes to meet. “Jesse,” the man said. “Look at me.”
Jesse struggled against him. The man forced him down, and his eyes blurred into a mess of copper-brown.
“Breathe,” the man said. “I’m not here to hurt you. Just breathe.”
Jesse sucked in some air, only because his lungs needed it. Then he breathed more. He smelled blackwood.
At the back of his mind, he knew that was a safe scent. That he could trust it.
Maybe this person would help get him out of here.
He breathed again. And again. Until his heart stopped pounding so hard, and the white walls faded into the blue tiles of a restroom.
“Okay?” Dom asked, stroking the nape of Jesse’s neck.
Jesse blinked, panting from the adrenaline. “Yeah.”
Dom released him. Jesse staggered over to the toilet and threw up. It felt like his body was rejecting everything right now. But Dom approached him. “Okay if I touch you?” Dom asked.
Jesse nodded. Dom set a hand gently on his back, rubbing it.
It was a kind touch. Nothing dangerous. Jesse heaved up what little he’d eaten, before spitting the taste out. He flushed the toilet and went over to the sink to rinse his mouth.
He tried not to think about what the doctor had said. He didn’t want to panic again. Or puke again. But he didn’t know what to do with the thing inside his body, either.
Now that he was concentrating on finding it, he could feel a small, hard object in his middle. He knew exactly where it was. That made all his remaining hair stand on end.
“Do you want to come back another day?” Dom asked. “To see what options you have? Or do you want to talk about it now?”
Jesse wanted to curl up somewhere, and pull the covers over his head. “Not right now.”
“Okay. We’ll go home.”
Dom touched the small of his back, waiting until Jesse was ready to leave. Jesse focused on that light pressure. He breathed in that blackwood scent, and walked with Dom out of the medical center. It was easier when he didn’t have to think about all the other people staring at him. Just Dom. Dom was safe.
In the parking lot, he drew his first deep breath. Then another. It felt so good to fill his lungs again.
“You don’t like hospitals, huh?” Dom asked.
Jesse shook his head. Then he thought Dom might judge him, but Dom only pulled open the passenger door, waiting for Jesse to climb in.
“I’m not a baby,” Jesse said.
“Yeah, I know.” Dom cracked a smile, squeezing his thigh. “But you’re allowed to be scared.”
He left the door open, so Jesse could close it when he was ready. Then Dom climbed into the driver’s seat, glanced at Jesse, and said, “I’m closing the door.”
Jesse made sure he looked at the door, so he knew it was that door closing, and not some door from his memory. “Okay.”
Dom smiled, squeezing his knee.
“Want some food?” Dom asked. “It’ll be an hour of nothing ‘til we get back to Meadowfall.”
Jesse wanted a donut, but his stomach was still churning. So he shook his head.
They drove home in silence, Dom tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. Jesse realized he’d never really seen Dom in private before—it had always been Dom the deputy, Dom at bar night, or Dom all over him. Never just Dom alone, watching the road, just... existing. He looked like he was at peace with himself.
“What’s it like not being scared?” Jesse blurted. Then he thought maybe he shouldn’t have asked.
Dom cracked a smile. “That’s a hard one.”
“Maybe.”
“Only because I don’t have much left to lose.”
Jesse blinked. “You have a house. And a job.”
Dom shrugged. “Yeah.” He paused. “I lost my omega.”
Jesse’s breath left his lungs. He’d never lost anyone close to him before. But back at the Facility, he’d glimpsed some of his fellow subjects in cages. Some he’d almost felt a comradeship with. Then they’d disappeared, and he’d asked about them. Rutherford said they’d died.
So Jesse knew that feeling of loss. He just hadn’t experienced it with someone who was as important to him as a bondmate. And now he felt bad for Dom.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
Then he thought about the medical center, about the things inside him, and wondered if Dom had somehow known. And if Dom was going to see him as a replacement omega. He shoved that thought away.
Dom sighed. “It’s complicated.”
“That’s okay.” Jesse looked at the roof of the truck. “My life is complicated.”
Dom’s smile faded. Jesse missed it immediately, but he didn’t know how to bring it back.
They didn’t speak again until they turned off the highway into Meadowfall. “Where do you live?” Dom asked. After a pause, he added. “Or would you rather crash at my place? The offer’s still open.”
Jesse fidgeted with his scarred fingers. Dom was still being inexplicably nice. “I don’t know. Is it quiet there?”
His apartment wasn’t so quiet sometimes. He’d been thinking about renting a different place, somewhere with neighbors who didn’t slam their doors. But Jesse had moved about four times, and he was getting tired of uprooting himself again.
“Yeah. It’s quiet there.” Dom tapped on the steering wheel. “There’s food in the fridge, and I have a spare bed.”
“Oh.” Jesse had thought that maybe Dom would invite him into his bed. Was this a good thing?
As though he’d read Jesse’s mind, Dom added dryly, “You could share my bed. But no sex.”
And now Jesse was disappointed. What, did he think Dom was ready to drag him into bed?
“At least, not until we’ve gotten this thing sorted out,” Dom muttered.
Jesse cheered up at that. Even though he’d sworn up and down that he wasn’t letting Dom fuck him again.
At the house, he waited for Dom to let him in. “Spare room is here,” Dom said, leading the way. Jesse glanced at Dom’s broad shoulders crowding out the space in the hallway, and the pants that clung to his ass. “Here, I’ll get you something to wear.”
He disappeared into another room, one that smelled completely like blackwood. Jesse stepped closer, just sniffing at that scent. Did Dom know he smelled good? Or was Jesse just so tired that his thoughts were getting weird?
Dom stepped out, thrusting some folded clothes at him. “And a toothbrush. There. You’re set.”
“Thanks,” Jes
se mumbled.
Dom was staring too intently at him. Jesse felt that maybe he should snark at Dom, just so he seemed more in control. He was so exhausted, though. Maybe tomorrow.
“I’ll see you later,” Jesse said.
Dom watched as he headed into the bedroom.
When he’d shut the door, the fatigue crept back, turning his limbs into lead.
He shook out the clothes Dom had handed him. They smelled like soap and blackwood, and he buried his face in them, filling his lungs with Dom’s scent.
Maybe, when he left... maybe he needed to borrow one of Dom’s used shirts. Just because.
Slowly, he shrugged out of his clothes, before pulling on Dom’s PJs. They were worn and soft, and the shirt was a little tight on him. The shorts, too. Then Jesse thought about Dom wearing this to bed, with nothing else beneath, and his body thrummed.
It was a good thought. He climbed into bed, pulled the covers over his head, and closed his eyes.
When he opened his eyes, the shadows were all wrong. Jesse panicked a little, trying to figure where he was. Then he smelled blackwood on the sheets, and calmed. Dom was around somewhere. That was good.
Immediately after, he hated himself for thinking that. He didn’t need to depend on Dom. He was alpha. He didn’t need another alpha to feel safe.
Jesse threw off the sheets, swinging his legs off the mattress. He glimpsed the scars on his thighs, and felt the small, solid object somewhere in his middle.
The uterus.
That hadn’t been a nightmare, then. It was real. Larson had sunken his claws into Jesse, and Jesse hadn’t even known those experiments were still inside him, until now. He felt nauseous again. He pulled up his shirt, staring at the big scar, wishing it wasn’t there.
Worse, Dom had been at the medical center. He’d heard all of it.
He knew how powerless Jesse had been, back at the Facility. How Jesse had omega parts inside him even now.
Shame crept up Jesse’s face. He flopped back onto the bed and pulled a pillow over his head, his neck burning.
No, he didn’t know how he was going to step out to face Dom. What part of him had decided that crashing at Dom’s place was a good idea?
The part that was making his tight shorts even tighter. Obviously.
Jesse groaned, shoving at his cock. No, they weren’t doing anything. Especially now that he was... pregnant. With Dom’s baby.
How could that even happen? They’d only fucked once. Did Dom see Jesse as some weird trophy notch on his belt?
Jesse reached for another pillow, pulling it over his head. He fumbled around and found a third pillow, and pulled it over the other two.
He spent a short while feeling sorry for himself. Then he shoved those thoughts aside and stood. It wasn’t like moping would change anything. He’d just make Dom some food as thanks for the drive, and then he’d take a cab back toward the station, where his bike was.
The sooner he stopped thinking about the uterus, the less anxious he’d be.
Jesse slipped out of the bedroom, listening carefully to make sure Dom wasn’t moving through the house. He stopped by the bathroom. Then he headed to the kitchen, in search for something to eat.
It was 6PM. He’d been asleep for a while, then.
As Jesse moved through the house, he realized that it was all really nice. The living room led to a mini bar and a dining room, and the kitchen was all polished counters and smooth lines. Things that he hadn’t thought to pay attention to, the last time he was here.
Some cookies later, he found a bag of potatoes in the pantry, and some butter in the fridge. Then he looked in the drawers for knives, but there weren’t any. At all. In the entire kitchen. The only knives he found were butter knives, and a fruit peeler.
What kind of person had no knives in their kitchen?
He peeled the potatoes and set them in a pot to boil. While he waited, he looked back down at his abdomen. If he could remove the uterus from his body... things would go back to normal, wouldn’t they?
Had it given him hormones that made him want Dom? Was that why he was so attracted to Dom’s scent?
Did that make him some sort of omega?
If word somehow got out... would the rest of the team treat him differently?
Jesse closed his eyes, wishing he’d never agreed to go to the medical center. He would’ve been better off not knowing. How long could he even hide this? What was he going to do with a baby?
He’d never had to think about shit like this before, and it made him uneasy. What if Dom decided that Jesse wasn’t fit to work on the team? What if he lost the station family he’d worked so hard to be accepted into?
Jesse swallowed, his throat tight. He wasn’t sure what to do. His stomach twisted.
“Sinclair?” Dom asked.
Jesse jumped a foot into the air, his heart slamming against his ribs.
“Sorry,” Dom said. He was there when Jesse whirled around—just watching him. And he was still wearing the same clothes as before. Had he not slept? “How’re you feeling?”
“Like crap.”
Dom winced. “Want to talk about it?”
“What’s there to talk about?” Jesse glared at the stove. “I don’t need you looking down on me, or thinking I’m an omega, or—”
“Sinclair.” Dom strode forward until he was right next to Jesse, his warmth soaking into Jesse’s arm. “I don’t think of you any differently.”
“How is that possible?” Jesse scowled, turning to face him. “You know what I have in my body. You know I’ve been tied down like a slave. You fucking know I’ve been less, and it’s just so—so...”
Humiliating. When he wanted Dom to respect him.
Dom met his eyes. The he pulled Jesse against his solid chest, and wrapped his arms tight around Jesse. “Should’ve done this earlier.”
Jesse struggled, alarmed. What was Dom doing? “I’m not—”
“Let me hug you, damn it!”
Dom tightened his hold around Jesse, stroking a palm down Jesse’s back. And the touch sank into his skin like comfort from a warm blanket. Dom’s touch said, You don’t have to be afraid. Part of Jesse calmed, his anxiety easing. He sucked in a sharp breath, his body tingling. “Why the hell are you doing this?”
“Because you need it.”
Jesse’s eyes burned. No, he didn’t want Dom to pity him. “I don’t need it,” he choked. “I’m fine.”
“No, you aren’t.” And Dom pressed his lips to Jesse’s temple, kissing him there.
All the thoughts rushed out of Jesse’s mind. “What—”
Dom kissed his temple again. This time, Jesse felt the warm brush of his lips, the intimate touch. As though Jesse was important to him.
Jesse’s heart stumbled.
“I don’t see you any differently,” Dom rumbled. “If anything, I wish I’d been there to stop it.”
Jesse’s stomach twisted. “So I wouldn’t become an omega?”
Dom sighed. “No. So you wouldn’t have to be in so much pain.”
He cupped the side of Jesse’s head, where the scars were. Then he stroked down Jesse’s body, touching it all—his shoulders, his arm, his back. There were scars on every inch of Jesse, and not once did Dom pull away in repulsion.
Instead, the friction sent butterflies down Jesse’s nerves. Jesse stilled, unsure what was happening. Dom held him snugly, chest-to-chest, his warmth radiating into Jesse like acceptance. He felt so good; Jesse wanted to lean in. Except it didn’t feel like something an alpha should do.
“Sinclair,” Dom murmured, brushing his fingertips against Jesse’s nape. He pulled back a little, looking into Jesse’s eyes—and there was a softness about his gaze that Jesse hadn’t seen on him before. “I won’t blame you for cutting those beads out. And I don’t care that you have a uterus, or whatever. It’s there. I know. But you’re still you.”
It sounded so damn sappy that Jesse knew he should say something, except he couldn’t.
“You’re still an alpha to me,” Dom murmured.
Jesse’s throat tightened. “Why?”
Dom shrugged. “Body parts don’t decide who you are.”
“But I have omega hormones. And—And that time I was here.” Jesse wet his lips, his face heating up. He couldn’t bring himself to describe it all.
Dom only growled, pleased. “The best part about that night was that you’re an alpha. And you let me have you.”
Jesse’s blush went all the way down his neck. “That just makes it weird, doesn’t it?”
“Just makes it hot.” Dom’s eyes darkened; he squeezed Jesse’s ass, slowly pressing him against the counter. His was a heavy weight, demanding and firm. Through the thin material of his sleeping shorts, Jesse felt the pressure of Dom’s bulge against his own. Then Dom’s nostrils flared, like he was filling his lungs with Jesse’s scent.
Jesse couldn’t breathe, suddenly, when all he could see was Dom. He didn’t know what this feeling was. It felt like an ocean wave in his chest, like something big building in his body, something inevitable.
Despite everything Jesse had said to him over the years, despite Jesse being younger, and broken—Dom had stopped judging him. Jesse still had problems with himself, but Dom... accepted him. Dom looked into Jesse and saw him for who he was. And that was incredible.
Jesse bowed his head before he could think; Dom pressed a damp kiss to his forehead. Then he tipped Jesse’s face up, his gaze intent. “We meet as equals, Sinclair. You won’t bow for me.”
Not like an omega, Dom didn’t say, but he didn’t have to.
Something fluttered in Jesse’s chest—something changed between them right then.
“I still hate you,” Jesse said.
Dom’s smile in return was fierce, savage. “Yeah, keep doing that.”
Then he leaned forward and crashed their lips together, and Jesse’s entire body pulled tight, every single nerve lighting up.
19
“Donut”, or “Please”
Sinclair tasted like soda and cookies. Dom slid into his mouth, drunk on his flavor. It had been so long—too damn long—since he’d tasted this man, and he’d been starving.
Alpha in Heat Page 14
