by S J Batsford
“That’s between me and Ethan. You’re brothers end of.”
Looking at Ethan fully, my heart rate speeds up for the first time since yesterday morning, he looks exhausted.
“And you, what’s your problem?”
Ethan throws a furious look at his brother before answering me.
“He slept with you... and he didn’t even call me to let me know you were okay.” He's furious. I gape at him.
I burst out laughing, “You… think Mace and I…? Eww.” I shudder.
“Hey! I’m not that bad,” he laughs, trying to sound wounded.
“No. You’re not, but you’re like my brother. Sorry,” I shrug, looking back at Ethan.
“As for not calling, he was busy dealing with the shit-storm you caused yesterday...” I pause, looking at Mace.
“Sorry Mace, I guess this has got something to do with you,” I say apologetically.
He smiles, shaking his head and hugs me. “Just don’t run off like that again, okay,” I nod into his chest, taking in the comfort of my best friend.
“Yeah, I’m sorry for scaring you and Nan and for messing up your time with Millie.”
“Whoa, hang on a second. What do you mean run off? Lily?” Ethan jumps in. I sigh, not looking at him.
“After I got off the phone, I needed time to myself. So, I went for a run,” I answer meekly.
“No. When she got off the phone, she ran out of here in tears... Because you’re an asshole,” Mace shouts, letting go of me.
“Mace,” I hiss.
“No, Lils. He should know what he’s doing is causing you pain,” he spits acidly at his brother.
“I know, okay. I’m sorry. I’m going to sort it.” Ethan yells, pulling his hair.
“When? After the wedding? Did you try to tell her yesterday?” Mace yells, getting in Ethan’s face.
I jump between them, pushing them both back. “Hey! No one is fighting, especially not in my house. So, just sit your arses down, before I kick you both out.”
Eventually they both relent and sit down facing me as I pace.
“Okay,” I blow out a breath, not having a clue what to say. I look at Ethan questions in my eyes, he gulps, not a good sign.
“Did you tell her yesterday?” I ask, seeing the answer written all over his face before he shakes his head.
Throwing my hands in the air, I mutter “we’re done.”
“Wait! Lily. Let me explain please,” he pleads, grasping my arms, I shake him off, I’ve heard enough.
“What is there to explain? You could have told your fiancée yesterday, when you left me after…” I stop, looking at Mace, whose face contorts with anger.
“You didn’t?” He hisses, surging to his feet, looking from me to his brother furiously.
I’m not sure who he’s asking, but I answer. “No, not that.” I say, affronted, he blows out a relieved breath.
“Good, because I would have smacked him in the face.”
I giggle, patting him on the chest, “you don’t need to defend my honour today, good sir,” I quip, he chuckles bowing I laugh.
“Would you two stop. This is fucking serious!” Ethan shouts at us.
“Yeah, I know,” I snap.
“I’m no home-wrecker, nor am I a slapper. But that’s what I feel like now. If you wanted us to be together, you would have told her.”
“I do want to be with you, it all got really complicated. Please, let me explain. Please?” He looks so pained and I find myself nodding.
Gulping he rubs the back of his neck, his eyes are anxious.
“When I met up with Ashley, she wanted to talk like she said. When… anyway, I agreed, I was going to tell her, there and then, that I couldn’t go through with it, that I had met someone else.”
Licking his lips, he looks at me sadly. “She... Told me she’s pregnant.”
I gasp, stumbling, feeling my legs give out. Well, if it wasn’t certain before, it is now, Ethan and I are never going to be.
“What the fuck E?” Mace yells, catching me.
Ethan looks at me in utter despondency. “I’m so sorry, I’m going to talk to Alex later today, then Ashley. I love you, Lily, please….” He’s frantic, but those words make my stomach clench painfully.
“NO! Don’t you dare say those words... They mean nothing! Don’t bother saying anything to Alex and Ashley, because we’re done. I won’t take a father from a baby,” I cry, covering my face, but not before catching the look of utter devastation on his gorgeous face.
“You slept with Ashley?” Mace asks, his voice shaking with rage.
“Yes, I am twenty-three Mason, and we were getting married.”
“When was the last time you slept with her?” he growls and Ethan goes ghostly white.
Oh god, I don’t want to hear this.
“I... I was with her that night, before you text asking about Lily,” he murmurs quietly.
Sickness surges through me and I rush to the kitchen, my hand glued to my mouth. Hanging over the sink, my stomach heaves what I ate for breakfast.
“See what you’re doing to her,” Mason yells, pulling back my hair and rubbing my back.
“You okay, sweetie?” His voice is so gentle, like he’s talking to a baby. I shake my head, I’m in pain, sick, aching, my head hurts. I work on taking deep breaths.
I straighten, turn, and there looking worried and remorseful is the man I fell in love with.
“You, disgust me,” I spit.
His eyes widen and he winces. “After fucking your fiancée, you start chatting me up, texting me the same night. The things you texted….” I swallow, sick, threatening to choke me.
“It wasn’t like that. I didn’t know I would ever see you again.” He argues, stepping toward me, but stops at my death glare.
“So, you thought you’d stick with an easy lay. Over growing a set of balls and telling daddy, you didn’t want to marry the woman.”
They both wince at my words, I know it sort of applies to Mace too, but he isn’t fucking one woman and thinking about another.
His eyes are wide and bleak. “Well, you can stick with your easy lay, because you aren’t getting it from me. Thank fuck, I didn’t go further. Shit, I’m stupid. My Mom would be so ashamed of me right now,” I sob.
“Hey! No, she wouldn’t, this isn’t your fault,” Mason says adamantly, squeezing me to him.
“You’ve really fucked up asshole. I wish I had never sent that text. I should have listened to you. I’m so sorry, I brought all this shit on you.” His voice thick with remorse, I can’t even comfort him, because I’m a mess.
“No. This is on me, I should have grown a pair a long time ago, I’m sorry I didn’t, but I am now. I can’t marry a girl I don’t love, even if she is pregnant with my baby. I’ll be there for the baby but, I can’t stay with her. I love you, Lily. I can’t…won’t give up on you, or us. I’m so sorry, I’ve hurt you. Baby, look at me please.”
I stand back from Mace, not bothering to wipe my eyes, letting him see what he’s done.
He’s right in front of me, he gently takes my face in his hands.
“I’m so sorry, please. Please, forgive me. Give me the chance to sort this, I’ll work to gain your trust and respect back, I promise. Just don’t say we’re done. I can’t accept that. I love you, and once this is all over, I want to marry you,” he rushes blinking back tears of his own.
I’m in shock, he’s crying. I watch him struggle, wanting so badly to believe him.
“I want to believe you, Ethan, I...” His kiss shocks me. It’s desperate, but gentle as he pours all his feelings into it. Longing, anxiety, anguish, remorse and love.
I whimper cut between wanting to melt into him and wanting to slap him. My mind and body waring with each other, my body wins out, melting against him without permission, everything dissolves, my world narrowing until it’s just us.
My hands grasp his hair, kissing him back with everything I have, my body flush against him.
He softens his hold, his hands falling to my back. I moan as he lets go of my lips, only to kiss down my neck.
“Erm, E?” Mace coughs, snapping me back to reality, I stiffen.
What the fuck am I doing? Pulling my hands from his hair, I step back, putting some space between us, not taking my eyes off him.
He looks so hopeful, his gorgeous eyes shining, waiting silently. Laying his forehead on mine, he whispers, “I’m sorry, just give me another chance, I will do the right thing,” he begs.
“Mace, can we talk alone for a while please?”
“Yeah, I’ll be at Millie’s, call me if you need me, okay?” I nod, understanding his unspoken promise.
“You, you hurt her anymore and I swear, brother or not I will rip you a new one. Understood?” Mace threatens and Ethan nods, wide eyed.
“Wow,” Ethan breaths as the front door slams.
“Yeah, he’s kind of protective of me.”
“No shit! He’s never threatened me before.”
“So, what are you going to do?” I ask walking into the living room and sitting.
“I have to talk to Alexander first, then Ashley, but… I have to be there for the baby. I can’t abandon him or her like my dad did me and Niles. I hope you can understand and help me through all this? I’m scared babe.” I feel sorry for him, hearing his voice shake.
My heart squeezes painfully at the thought of him having a baby with another woman.
“Are we going to be okay? With the baby and all?” he asks, looking vulnerable.
I don’t know what to say, am I going to be okay with my boyfriend having a baby with his ex fiancée?
~*~
Chapter Nine
“I don’t know, we’ll have to wait and see like everything else. Is Ashley going to be in our lives all the time?” I ask cringing at how bad that sounds.
“I don’t know, I’ll have to go to doctor’s appointments, scan’s, the birth. Then there’s whatever we arrange so I can see him or her.”
I look away, suddenly wanting to cry. He’s having a baby…. I bite my cheek trying to quell my tears.
“Hey! What are these for?” he asks, wiping away my tears.
“It hurts Ethan. Would you like the thought of me with another bloke? What about having a baby with someone else?” I ask, knowing I sound childish, but I can’t help the way I feel.
“No. I wouldn’t,” he sighs. “What are we going to do? I can’t make this go away, and I don’t want to. I know it’s fucked up, but this baby is half of me too. I know it’s selfish to ask this of you, you’re so young, but I don’t want to lose you. I’ve never loved anyone before and I love you, so much.”
“I know, I love you, too, but I’ve just lost my Mom. Emotionally, I’m a mess. I know how I sound, but it really hurts… Knowing you’ve slept with her that day, and now she’s always going to have a piece of you.”
In a rush, he pins me to the sofa, his knees on either side of me, his lower body pinning my torso. He kisses the shit out of me, my brain quietens as my body takes over. Moaning, I grab his hips tightly as he possesses my mouth, tongue stroking, teeth biting and… Oh god, he sucks my tongue into his mouth.
“Mmm,” I moan wanting more of him. It’s stupid, mad to make such a decision with my head a mess, but I need him right now. To soothe the hurt, to feel the heat we generate together.
“Ethan, I need you,” I breathe, a minute passes before he freezes, looking at me, his eyes blaze with need. “Please?” I beg, squeezing his hips.
He blinks. “Is this becau-” Putting my hand over his mouth, I shake my head.
“No, this isn’t because of anything other than the fact that I want you. I know you’re still with her and it will make me a home-wrecker, but…” I stop seeing his face blanch.
“Don’t you dare think that,” his voice shaking with rage.
“Its what I am though, look at the situation,” he growls, taking my face in his hands. “Listen to me, you are no such thing. I’m the one in the wrong, not you. Okay?” I nod, placating him. But inside, I know what I am and what I’m likely to be called.
“Now. Are you sure? What do you want from me?” he growls, barely leashing his hunger. “I thought you wanted to wait until all the crap was behind us? What’s changed since this morning? You’re confusing me,” he breaths glancing at my lips, licking his own.
I lean up a touch, slowly licking his bottom lip, clamping my teeth around it and tugging. He growls tugging my hair in warning.
“I need you to talk to me in that sexy voice, the one that makes me so hot I forget about anything and everything other than us,” I say slowly, my voice low, sexy.
“Holy shit. Keep talking like that and we won’t make it upstairs.” He groans as I squeeze his arse.
“Umm, you better move then hadn’t you?” I giggle at his shocked face. Wiggling from beneath him, racing upstairs laughing, I don’t get far before Ethan catches up and pins me to the wall beside my door, grasping my hair, he tilts my head back and slowly lick from the base of my neck to my ear. “E,” I sigh, arching into him.
We stumble into my room, kicking and locking the door behind us. Falling onto the bed, a tangle of arms and legs, fighting to get closer.
I pull on his jacket, yanking it impatiently off his shoulders, catching my drift he shrugs it off as I lift his T-shirt up, I struggle as it sticks to his heated skin.
My greedy hands run over every bit of toned skin I uncover. My eyes drink in his beautiful chest, leaning up I kiss above his heart sucking hard, leaving my mark.
“Ah, do it again,” he moans, kneeling between my legs.
I do as he asks, but this time on his neck and bite down on his tendon making his body shake, “You’re playing with fire.”
“Then burn me… Please,” I rub against him.
He yanks my oversized jumper off, finding me bare beneath, he growls “you’ve been bare underneath that all this time?” I nod feeling the heat of his gaze.
“I love these,” he whispers, biting my nipple, whimpering, I bow into him, holding his head to me. Chuckling, he sucks it into his mouth.
I cry out, heat engulfing me, hitting all the right places. Soothing, but intensifying the ache.
Dragging my nails down his back, I moan loudly needing more. Kissing his way up my neck, he sucks hard, marking me as his.
My patience snaps, I shove at his jeans, needing to feel him sliding into me. He halts, looking at me. “Are you sure? Once I take it, I...”
I growl, nipping his ear. “I want you to be the first Ethan, I need to feel you inside me.”
“Shit. I want inside your hot, tight little body. To feel you tighten around me, feel your body tremble taking me….” My eyes widen as desire floods me, my core slickening in response.
He smirks down at me. “You like dirty talk baby?” Gripping his neck, I pull him to me, looking between his mouth and eyes, teasing I suck his lip into my mouth.
“It makes me so wet,” I whisper, against his mouth. “Ah, shit. You’re going to kill me,” he groans, as his fingers weave through my hair, tugging my head to the side and sucking down my neck.
A sense of urgency steals over me. I reach into his open jeans, grasping him, stroking, I smirk when he jumps in my hand.
“But what a way to go,” I say, stroking faster, his breathing changes with every slide of my hand.
Pulling himself from my grip, he slides off the bed, spoiling my fun. My complaint dies on my lips as he pulls my shorts slowly down and off, leaving me bare and vulnerable to his hungry gaze. His eyes roam up and down my body, scorching me.
“So, beautiful,” he breathes, running a finger down my belly. My muscles twitch in response, grasping his hand, I press it to my flushed skin, trying to entice him to explore.
“Please?” I beg, my hand exploring the tanned skin of his forearm, moving up, pulling him onto me, his weight pinning me into the bed.
His skin on mine is perfect. Impatiently I push at his
jeans, wanting to see him naked.
“Baby, slow down, you need to be ready first.” He groans, as I take him in hand again.
“I don’t want to wait, I need you. I’m lying here naked, while you're still partly clothed,” I mumble, still trying to extricate him from his jeans.
Jumping up, he shucks his jeans and boxers, and there he is in all his naked splendour, blinking I look him up and down. Licking my lips at the fine specimen in front of me.
Wow. He’s magnificent. Muscles everywhere. Board chest, tapered waist, narrow hips, toned thighs and shit. He’s big.
“Mmm-hmm,” I hum biting my lip. He lets out a sound between a chuckle and a groan.
“Looking at me like that will get you into all kinds of trouble.”
Looking him in the eye, I part my legs, shivering as the cold air hits my heated skin.
His gaze is captivated by the slow glide of my fingers, as they dance over my skin, teasing, enticing, I crook my finger, calling him to me silently.
Crawling over me, he pinches my nipple, wrenching a pleasured cry from me. I pull him to me shivering when his soft tongue lashes my aching breast, his teasing, his voice and body has me on the edge so fast, my legs shake.
“Ethan, I need more, please?”
“What do you want?” he asks, still teasing my nipple, I groan “tell me what you need.”
I boldly take his hand, slowly sliding it down my belly. “I need you to touch me, here.” His eyes widen.
"You're soaking,” he whispers, kissing his way down my belly. Looking up at me, his mouth mere centimetres away, not touching, waiting, teasing. His eyes heat as he takes a long, slow lick, tasting me.
My body shakes. "Oh god, Ethan." I moan as my arms give out, clutching the covers. My body reaches for him, desperately begging for his touch.
"Mmm, you taste so good..." he hums, looking at me, his head hovering. The hunger in his eyes causes my body tighten pleasurably as I watch him slowly lick his lips. My hips lift seeking him, my body begging him to end the torture. A grateful sigh escapes me as a finger slides slowly into me.
