In the Blink of an Eye

by S J Batsford

  “Okay, okay. We can go bowling, only if we can have pizza and spicy wedges?” I ask, my mouth watering. I love them. He rolls his eyes, smirking at me.

  “You’re going to look like a spicy wedge soon enough,” he chuckles, as I scramble out of bed, racing to get ready.

  “Be ready in five,” I yell through the bathroom door.

  “Okay, I’ll meet you in the kitchen.”

  ~*~

  I’m glad Mason cajoled me into coming out, we’re having a great time.

  “Hey, it’s my turn you cheater,” I say around a mouthful of pizza.

  “Can you put your food down long enough?” he quips raising an eyebrow.

  “Yes?” I sound unsure even to my own ears. He laughs going to pinch a wedge.

  “Don’t you even think about it, buster.” I growl.

  “I wouldn’t dream of taking it from Pooh,” he smirks rubbing my belly.

  “Is that what you’re calling my little chunk now?” I ask smiling at him.

  I get choked up every time he talks about little chunk. He’s the only man I've ever been able to count on. He’s always there for me no matter what, and he’s been amazing through all this, he comes to all my doctor’s appointments, hold’s me when I cry and picked me up when I was throwing up everywhere.

  “One day you’ll be an amazing dad you know that?” I ask, he blushes sucking his lip in and out.

  “Thanks, Lils, I’m enjoying going through this with you. You’re going to be a great mom, and of course I’m going to be an amazing uncle,” he says puffing his chest out, and we both laugh.

  “You already are. We’re both lucky to have you.”

  “Aww, come on, you’re going to make me cry.” He clutches his heart dramatically, and bats his eyes, I laugh.

  It isn’t often we get all mushy, but pregnancy turned me into a big tit.

  “I know, but seriously, I love you. For everything you’ve done for me and us. You’re the best,” I laugh as real tears enter his eyes.

  “Okay, enough of the mushiness. I love you both, too, and I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else, I wouldn’t miss this for the world.” His voice is gruff, and he’s holding his arms out to me.

  “Aww, you two are so cute,” a girly voice coos. We turn to see a group of teenage girls. “You’re a cute couple. Do you know what you’re having?” Another asks, gobsmacked I answer her automatically. “No.” Mace keeps an arm around my shoulders and looks at the girl.

  “Aww, I bet you’re both excited to find out if you’re having a girl or boy?” She sighs.

  I’m about to tell her we’re not together, that Mace isn’t the dad. When Mace shocks the hell out of me.

  “We are, not long now, though,” he sighs kissing the top of my head. My eyes bug out. What the hell’s he doing?

  “It was lovely talking to you, you look great together. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy, and the birth I hope it all goes well.” I blink still in shock.

  “Thanks,” I whisper as they leave.

  “What was that?” I ask, when they’re gone, looking up at Mason.

  “What?” he asks innocently.

  “You let them think we were together and this is your baby,” I hiss, not sure why I’m pissed.

  “I’m sorry, I thought it would be easier than explaining that I’m just his uncle, and my dick of a brother is his father. Who will be marrying another woman, who is also pregnant, in a few days.” He says angrily.

  I forget sometimes, just how much this tears him apart.

  “I’m sorry, I know you were just thinking of me,” I cry. Shit, I don’t want to upset him.

  “Hey, it’s fine. It’s not your fault. I’m sorry. It's just what he’s done makes me so mad. You deserve better.” He bear-hugs me, kissing my temple.

  “I don’t need better, I have you.” I hug him tightly.

  “Yes, you do.”

  ~*~

  Well, the day has arrived. He’s getting married today and just the thought makes me sick.

  I need to get out and do something. I refuse to sit here wallowing, it’s time to move on.

  Thankfully Mason makes sure I don’t have time to wallow. We hit the shops again trawling every baby store they have, buying little neutral coloured baby-grows, teddies and cute little booties.

  I catch him looking at blue outfits, I laugh. “Are you hoping for a boy?”

  He shrugs smiling. “Well, it would be easier to play cars with a boy, but if it’s a girl, I’ll have to learn how to make girly voices, for when we play dollies.” He’s serious too. I’m awed by the lengths he’ll go for his niece or nephew.

  We shop some more, splitting up to get Christmas presents. Yep, Christmas is just over a week away. We aren’t celebrating it though. We didn’t celebrate Thanksgiving either it didn’t seem appropriate. We’re just getting a couple of presents each.

  I’m surrounded by Christmas decorations, music, busy shoppers and excited kids. But I’m not feeling it at all. Even the carol singers aren’t making me feel warm and cosy.

  ~*~

  We get back just in time for dinner. “Hey, Nan, that smells amazing,” I groan salivating.

  “Didn’t Mason feed you today?” she asks playfully.

  She knows better than that. Mace is like a drill sergeant when it comes to me eating enough.

  “Not nearly enough.” I groan, sticking my tongue out at Mason’s scowling face.

  “You know me better than that Cora. She had a full pizza and onion rings.”

  “Stop, I’m starving over here,” I state as my tummy grumbles.

  “You only ate two hours ago,” Mace says laughing.

  “Hey! I’m eating for two here. This kids going to be a monster. He can obviously put it away like his uncle Mason,” I say rubbing my belly.

  Looking up I see them both staring at me. Nan has tears in her eyes, while Mace has a soft smile on his face.

  “What?” I ask, feeling uncomfortable.

  “If that’s the case, then he’s definitely a boy. I’m going to teach him so many things,” he laughs evilly.

  “You teach my kid anything naughty or nasty and I’ll kick your arse,” I say laughing.

  “You two are like an old married couple. Shame you don’t fancy each other,” she mutters, heading for the stairs. Shocked, we look at each other.

  “What was that about?” Mason is blushing.

  “Aww, you’re blushing,” I tease.

  “I have no idea, but she’s seen how you’ve been there for me, you never waver, even though he’s your brother,” I croak biting my cheek. Freaking emotions.

  “I don’t give a crap, he fucked up and hurt you, then left you pregnant and married the shrew.”

  I reach out taking his hand, loving him more every day.

  “What about your family? Your mom must be upset that you didn’t go today, that you won’t go home.” I feel so guilty for the strain all this has put on Mace and his family.

  “And what about Millie?” I ask hesitantly. He won’t talk about what happened.

  “Millie called it off. I told you this. It’s not your fault. My family will get over it. mom’s too busy being pissed at dad and Ethan, to worry whether I’m home or not.”

  That shocks me, this is the first I’ve heard about it. “So your Mom knows, about me and the baby?” I ask softly, placing a hand on my belly.

  “Oh yeah, and she was pissed at dad for getting involved, and with Ethan for being so careless with you. But mostly, she’s pissed that she’s missing out on your pregnancy because E’s a dick.”

  “Your Mom is upset about missing my pregnancy?” I ask.

  “Yeah. It’s an important time. She’ll miss all the pictures and stuff,” he shrugs.

  I feel a little guilty and sad for her, because she’s stuck in the middle.

  “We’ll have to get her a copy of the pics and you can keep her updated,” I tell him.

  He smiles. “This will make her day. I’m going to
call her.” My eyes bug. I’ve never heard or spoken to his mom.

  “Hello,” her voice is soft and feminine. I smile. “Hi, mom.” He smiles.

  “Oh, thank goodness you called. Do you want to speak to your brother?”

  And my smile’s gone.

  “No, mom, I’m here with Lily. You’re on speaker.” There’s a pause.

  “Oh, sorry. Hello, Lily,” her voice is gentle, motherly.

  “Hello, erm, it’s lovely to meet you, even if it’s not in person,” I ramble, she giggles.

  “Yes, it is. I’ve heard so much about you. All good,” she rushes. I giggle.

  “Mom? We called for a reason.” He sighs chuckling.

  “Okay, sorry, go on honey.”

  “I told Lily how you’re upset about missing out on her pregnancy, seeing scan pictures and things.”

  “Yes, it’s very hard. I mean you’re having my grandchild and I haven’t even met you, plus I know how hard and lonely it can be….” she breaks off.

  “Sorry, I just know. I’ve been there.”

  “It’s okay, Mrs Scott. I have family and Mace has been amazing.”

  “So he should be, I brought him up right…. I don’t know what happened with Ethan. He’s confused and upset, not himself at all.” I close my eyes as tears gather behind my lids.

  “Mom?”

  “Oh…. I’m so sorry honey… I.”

  “Mom we called to tell you something and you’re rambling,” he sighs exasperated.

  “Okay, go ahead.”

  “As I said, I told Lily about you being upset. She said we can get extra pictures when we go to the scan, and I can keep up informed on everything.” Soft sniffles come through the line.

  “Mom, are you okay?” More sniffing.

  “Yes, yes. I’m okay. Thank you, darling. You have no idea how happy that makes me.” Mace smiles, taking hold of my hand.

  “Well, he or she is your grandchild. It would be unfair for you to miss out.” I say simply, as muffled whispering comes through the phone, I look at Mason stricken.

  “Mom?” Mace calls.

  “One second honey.” We hear a hushed one sided conversation.

  “No, I’m talking to Mason…. No, Lily’s fine. Nothing’s wrong…. I don’t think that’s a good idea….Okay, I’ll ask.”

  “Mason are you still there?” she asks hesitantly.

  “Yeah. We’re still here. What’s going on?” He asks pissed.

  “Well, your brother’s here, he’d like to know if Lily would talk to him for a minute?” she asks nervously.

  Mason is livid. “He just got married, to the woman he left Lily for. It’s his wedding day and he still wants her to talk to him?”

  I shake my head. This is horrible I don’t want them fighting because of me.

  “I’ll talk to him, Mrs Scott,” my voice is barely audible but strong.

  Mason’s head snaps to me. “You don’t have to; you don’t owe him anything.” I smile, ever the loyal friend.

  “I know, but I don’t want your mom to be put in the middle of this, I have to talk to him sooner or later, I’m having his baby.” I shrug.

  “Thank you, honey. I know it’s hard, here he is,” she says.

  Picking up the phone, I take it off loudspeaker and walk up to my room.

  “Hello,” I say sitting on my bed. A sharp breath sounds through the phone.

  “Hi, Lily,” he says and my breath whooshes out just from his voice. “How are you?” he asks softly.

  “I’m fine, busy.” What the fuck does he want me to say?

  “How are you?” I ask my manners taking over. He’s at his wedding reception right now.

  “I’m good. Busy also….” he stops abruptly.

  Ouch. Yep, he’s busy getting married. Playing happy families, and sharing pregnancy wonders with his new wife. While I’m alone, lucky to be sharing mine with Mace. Not the same at all, I can’t tell Mace my hopes and fears, it’s just different.

  “Yeah, sounds fun. So, what do you want?”

  “Lils…”

  “Don’t. Don’t call me that.” I snap.

  “I’m…. I. How are things going with…the baby?”

  “Fine, as far as I know. We get to see chunk in a few days,” I smile, I can’t wait to see my baby, Mace is so excited.

  “We?” Ethan interrupts thoughts, sounding none too happy.

  “Mason’s coming with me,” I state obviously.

  “So, my brother is going to see my child before I do?”

  “Yes. He does, because he’s been there for me through two of the hardest periods of my life and helped me through them. He’s been here through the tiredness, puking, feeling shit and sobbing fits,” I snap, my anger flaring.

  “I’m sorry. I’m just pissed at myself for not being there. That’s my child growing inside of you, and I’ve fucked everything up. You’re alone in this, because I was stupid. I’m jealous of my own brother, he gets to be with you, see you and my baby grow. Soon he’ll be able to feel my baby’s first kick too, while I’m stuck here, not knowing shit.

  I can’t believe what I’ve done. My mom is so pissed at me, and rightfully so. I feel like I’ve done the same thing my dad did to her,” his voice break’s and I hear him crying. I tear up listening.

  “This is tearing me apart. I want to be there for every little thing. My baby is going to know his uncle better than his daddy,” he cries.

  Tears are streaming down my face, I literally ache to tell him I need him, I miss him and still love him.

  “I don’t know what to say Ethan.” I croak wiping my nose.

  “Me either, I wish I knew how to fix this, but I don’t think I can.”

  “I’ll send an extra picture for you.”

  “Thank you. I know I don’t deserve it, especially after today.” Whoa. Reality check.

  “It’s fine, he’s your baby too.”

  “Babe, what are you doing in here?” Oh, shit. It’s Ashley.

  “I’ll be out in a minute, okay. I’m on the phone!” he grates pissed at her.

  The sound of a door closing greets my ears, and there’s an uncomfortable silence.

  “Lily, are you still there?” he asks, his voice soft and nervous.

  “Yeah. I’m here, you better get back. I’ll speak to you in a few months. Take care, Ethan,” I whisper hoarsely.

  “Bye, Lily.” His voice thick as I hang up.

  ~*~

  Christmas day is here. It doesn’t feel like Christmas, Mom’s not up jumping on my bed excitedly.

  Mace is up though, and cooking something that smells amazing. We don’t have decorations up, Nan and I decided we didn’t want them up this year. We eat, smile tightly and open the few gifts we got each other.

  I got Mace a ‘Best Uncle’ jumper, some new running shoes and a big personalised teddy saying, ‘Chunk and I love you, Uncle Mace’ He loved it.

  I got Nan a new cardigan, new shoes and a jumper saying, ‘I’m the Grandma, and the Great Grandma’ It made her smile.

  They both spoilt me, with bigger clothes, shoes, all sorts of Mommy paraphernalia and money.

  We ate dinner and watch old movies all day.

  ~*~

  It’s finally here, the day I see my precious little chunk, I smile rubbing my protruding belly.

  “Lils, you awake yet? Come on, move it. I want to see Pooh…” he yells through the bathroom door.

  “Okay, okay. Jeez, you’d think you were the one having a baby. Give a Momma a chance.” I grin at myself in the mirror, caressing my bump it’s quite big for twelve weeks.

  All through breakfast, all Mason does is jump in his seat. I smile shaking my head.

  “Would you keep still? You’re going to spill juice everywhere.” Nan scolds him grinning.

  “What time were you up? And how much coffee have you had?” I ask looking at him closely.

  “Erm, about five? And maybe too much on the coffee.” I chuckle, he’s so hyper.

 
; “I’m sorry I can’t come. I can’t take time off right now.” Nan says sadly.

  “It’s fine, they only let one person in anyway, and storm over here isn’t going to sit still until he sees chunk,” I giggle.

  “You ready? We’re going to be late,” he nags bouncing on his toes.

  “Yeah, but I’m driving. You’ll crash the car in the state you’re in,” I say, herding him toward the door.

  “Would you keep still?” I chuckle, trying to concentrate on the road.

  “Sorry,” he sings at me happily.

  Shaking my head, I pull into the doctor’s office and cut the engine.

  “Okay, you need to chill out! Take some deep breathes or drink some water.”

  “I am chilled out. I am a figure of serenity.”

  I laugh getting out the car. “Yeah, serenity, of course.”

  “Lily Carter?” I jump at the sound of my name, I’m so nervous. I look at Mace, standing shakily, he takes my hand as we follow the doctor.

  “I’m Dr, James, how are we feeling today?” she asks gently, looking over my notes.

  “I’m fine, glad to have gotten past the puking part,” I joke.

  She chuckles, looking up. “I bet, at least you have daddy here to help carry the weight.” Shocked, I look at Mace but he just smiles.

  “He’s not the baby’s dad, he’s the uncle,” I tell her, because I can’t lie to the doctor.

  “Oh, I’m sorry. I just assumed.”

  “No, it’s okay. Most people do, he’s always there,” I say, smiling up at Mace, he squeezes my hand.

  “Okay, how about we see how this little one is doing?” She asks cheerfully, looking at Mason.

  “Yes, please. He’s really excited.” I say teasing, he just rolls his eyes at me, smirking.

  “Aww, he’s an anxious uncle.”

  “Get yourself comfy and raise your top. This will be cold,” she warns, but I still jump when she squeezes the goo on my belly. “Sorry, it’ll warm up in a minute. Ready?”

  I nod clutching Mason’s hand. The screen comes on, it’s all fuzzy for a few seconds. Then the face of my baby comes onto the screen. My eyes mist. That’s my baby.

  “Would you like to hear the heartbeat?” I nod, unable to speak.