by S J Batsford
“What was the reason for her attack on Lily?” She asks Mason.
“The babies. It’s complicated, but the bottom line is; my brother is the father of the babies. He’s also the father of his wife’s baby, which is due just before Lily has these two.” She raises her eyebrows looking confused.
“He’s married?” She asks, there’s no judgement in her voice, but I can see her calculating the months.
“Yes, very recently. He played Lily. He’s a dick. I know,” Mason mutters.
I think Dr James just got more than she bargained for.
“Are you okay?” she asks kindly.
I nod as tears form in my eyes, hearing it laid out like that is worse than the gory details.
“I’m sorry, it just came out,” Mason whispers, clutching my hand, as she puts the scope thingy on my belly.
“Okay, here we go, here’s one heartbeat. It’s strong that’s good, you want to hear?” I nod needing to hear their heartbeats.
I smile looking over at Mrs, Scott as she’s crying.
Doctor James abruptly takes the scope off and wipes my belly.
“I’ll be back in a second.” My heart stops at her tone.
“What’s wrong? Dr James?” I squeak, looking from the monitor to her.
“Do you mind if we try a transvaginal ultrasound? It’s an internal scan that shows more and the images are better and clearer.”
“No, I don’t mind, but what’s wrong?”
“It may be nothing, but, I can’t find the second baby.”
I gasp as tears spill down my face. Please, god, don’t let this be happening, please let both my babies be okay.
Mace’s arms pull me to him, squeezing me tightly.
“I’m just going to get some air,” his mom whispers, but neither of us respond.
“Lily? It'll be fine, they’ll find him.” His voice firm, even as tears coat his eyes.
I nod, unable to speak past the lump in my throat, I’m terrified.
~*~
“Okay, here we go there he is, right behind his sister.” A collective release of breath comes from us all, the tension dissipating.
“Are you sure, they’re both fine? Is there really a boy and a girl?” I smile widely, excited.
“Yes, they’re fine. Strong heartbeats, and yes, you are definitely having a boy and a girl,” she says, smiling. “Your little man isn’t shy.”
We all laugh. I don’t care as long as they’re both okay.
“Thank you, but what about the bleeding?”
“That could have been from the stress. So, no more cat fights.”
“Okay, as stress free as much as possible, got it,” I salute her.
~*~
Stress free as it turns out, is harder to accomplish than I thought. Arriving home an hour and a half later. I find Nan in the kitchen yelling with Ethan.
“What’s going on?” I ask startling them both.
“Oh, honey. Are you okay?” Nan asks, rushing to me.
“I’m okay. In pain but nothing I can do about that. What's with the yelling?” I ask, looking from one to the other.
“Well, I’ve kept my mouth shut until today, but not anymore. He’s treated you worse than your father treated Lizzy. Letting his wife come here, saying the things she said about you to you. Then to question whether he’s the father of my great-grandchildren. His wife assaults you, and he does nothing. You are the poorest excuse of a man I have ever met. I thought better of you.” Nan’s voice is so calm and cold, I wince.
“Nan? You know who my father is?” I squeak, sitting.
“What? Yes. I know who your father is. He’s nearly as bad as him, but at least he never let Lizzy or you get hurt.”
I'm shocked, but I don’t want to know right now, I have enough to deal with. I ache everywhere, I'm tired and just want to take the weight off my feet.
“Mace, could you get me some paracetamol please?” I rub my back.
“Sure,” I don’t look up as I wait, but I can feel his eyes on me.
“Here, sweetie. Maybe you should go lie down?” He asks, rubbing my back for me.
“You lot would implode,” I chuckle, finally looking around. Mrs, Scott is standing by the door quietly observing.
“I’m sorry. Mrs Scott, this is my Nan, Cora. Nan, this is Ethan and Mason’s mom. She came to the hospital with us.”
My eyes zeroing in on Ethan for the first time. He’s a mess, in the same suit as earlier, but rumpled. His hair is all over the place, but it's his eyes that shock me most. They're a far cry from what they were the day I met him. There’s no twinkle, no laughter in them, they’re red, swollen and flat.
“Why are you here Ethan?” I ask, not taking my eyes off him as everyone else sits.
He just stands there, his eyes drilling into me saying nothing.
“Do you want me to clarify again, what we went over this morning?” I say, my voice deceptively soft, still nothing. “Or would you like a DNA test when they’re born?” All I get is silence in return.
“Do as you like, because as of this morning you lost all respect I had for you, it wasn’t much, but it was a starting point. To stand by while Ashley called me horrible names is one thing, but to implying that I was sleeping with your brother, who by the way has been there for me and ‘your’ kids since before they were confirmed.
Says quite a bit about his character don’t you think? For a man you’ve accused multiple times, of sleeping with me and trying to take ‘your babies’. These babies are so lucky to have him as their uncle. I wish I’d have had an uncle like him.”
Silence rings throughout the room. Mace kisses the top of my head, acknowledging my compliment.
“I can’t talk about this in front of people, Lily. I’m so fucking ashamed of myself right now. I can’t stand the person I’ve become. Even Alex laid into me for what happened this morning. I feel sick just thinking about it. I’ve made so many mistakes these past months…. I know they are my kids… I know, and I don’t know why or how I could ever question that,” his voice wavers, but in that moment, my heart is hard to his suffering.
“I’ll tell you how and why shall I? You fucked up so badly at the beginning, that you lost the one thing, that mattered most to you. Then you got jealous and angry at me for being there for my best friend. You saw things that weren’t there, and you let Ashley plant shit in your head. She knows you love Lily, and she hates it. She’s threatened by it. And in all that, you let Ashley cost you the relationships with four people you love.” He chuckles humourlessly.
“You should have seen her face this morning. The moment Lily realised you were questioning the paternity of her babies. She smirked, standing right beside you. Her. Work. Done.” Mace finishes stripping him down in front of everyone.
His voice only wavering at the end. Getting up slowly, I move to him, holding him tightly. I know it’s hurt him not talking to his brother, not seeing him.
“Mayo…” Ethan’s voice breaks.
I look at him, seeing tears running down his face. Finally, he’s seeing what he’s done. What Ashley’s done. What he lost, what he should have never questioned. His brother’s loyalty.
Mrs Scott is sobbing on Nan’s shoulder, seeing her boys fight must have been ripping her heart in two.
“Go to him, Mace, he’s your brother,” I whisper, kissing his cheek before moving away.
He looks wary, torn. Ethan moves first, pulling his brother into his arms.
I walk slowly and quietly toward the stairs. All my energy has gone.
“Lily?” I sigh, turning.
“Ethan, I don’t have the energy for anymore right now. It’s been one of the worst days of my life.”
“I’m sorry, I know you've heard it before, and probably sick of hearing it, but it wasn’t supposed to be like this. I don’t know what to do anymore. When Alex called me and told me that you were in the hospital, that… you may have lost one or both babies…. I thought I was dying. The pain, after everything
I’ve put you through, then this morning. What Ashley did… I just… Can you… Will you forgive me?” He stammers, dropping to his knees.
“Ethan?” I choke, tears slipping down my face. I thought all the love I possessed for him, had gone after this morning, but no, it’s still there.
Am I doomed to love just him for the rest of my life? Looking at me, pain and sorrow weighing heavily on him.
“Please… I’m begging. Don’t cut me out of their lives. I know, I don’t deserve it after what I said this morning, but I didn’t mean it. I’ve been so angry and jealous. It’s ripping me apart…. I miss you so much…. And I want these babies more than anything. Not only do I already love them, but they are all I have left of you… Of us.” Sitting on the step, I rub my belly.
“I’m sorry. Ashley hurt you, the three of you. I can’t believe I just stood there. I couldn’t move. God, you looked so beautiful, then Mason… touched you. I don’t know what happened.”
“Ethan... Mason would never do that to you, he’s your brother. I would never, could never do that to you either. No matter how angry I am at you… I couldn’t hurt you like that. I can’t see you because it hurts. It’s not because I don’t want you there or because I’m sleeping with your brother. Mace is like a brother to me. He’s been there through the hardest times of my life. All this has hurt him as much as me. He loves you.”
“I know. I’ve been an idiot,” he mutters, watching my hand rub my bump.
“Can I?” he asks, gesturing at my belly. He wants to touch me?
I nod, holding my breath. Zeroing in on his hand as it draws closer. My breath leaves me in a whoosh, as he tentatively places a hand on the side of my bump. His breath catching, he caresses me adding his other hand.
I could blame the pregnancy hormones for being turned on, but it could also be the memory of the words spoken, our second time together.
He’s a married man.
“God, they’re my babies.” He blinks, looking at me in awe. His eyes burning with the same intensity, they had the night they were conceived.
“Ethan, don’t look at me like that.”
I stand, causing his hands to drop off my bump. He stays kneeling, gazing at me, his eyes dark. Biting his lip.
“You can’t look at me like that. You’re married! We’re over.” I say annoyed by my hormones, at myself and at him for still being able to turn me into an idiot.
I turn stomping up to my room, berating myself all the way, for letting him in again.
“Wait. Lily. I’m sorry. I can’t help the way my body reacts.” Spinning, I pin him where he stands.
“I know that, Ethan. I can’t either, but you’re married. Everything’s different now. You’re not cheating on your wife with me. I won’t let her attack me again and get away with it. I will not put my kids in danger.”
“I don’t want you or our babies in danger either, but it’s no secret that I’m in love with you. She knows it. She saw it this morning. She knows if you hadn’t sent me away. I would never have married her,” he whispers, his voice seducing as he steps closer.
“Ethan, don’t do this. Please, it’s not fair. You chose to marry Ashley.” I plead as he draws closer. His eyes dazed.
“Lily, I... Just…” He captures my lips, searing them, and for a moment I melt, weaving my fingers through his hair. Until I feel the cool metal of his new wedding band touch my jaw. Like a sharp slap around the face, I pull away. I look at him disgusted with him and myself.
“You’re married!” I hiss covering my face. “You can’t keep doing this to me. Ever since we got together, it’s been constant ups and downs, mixed signals. One minute you want to be here, the next Ashley need’s you and you’re gone.
I thought since you chose her and got married, that all the upheaval would be over, but it’s not and never will be until I move on too.” I sob, devastated again by the thought of never being with him.
Ethan looks stricken by my words. “Lily, don’t say that. I can’t handle the thought of another man touching you.” He growls possessively, pissing me off.
“Really, what about me Ethan? I have to deal with thoughts of you fucking Ashley all the time. I have to move on. You’re married.” I snap, raising his ringed finger in front of his face for emphasis.
“I’m sorry. I won’t cut you out of his and her lives, but as for this, no. This is wrong. There will never be ‘us’ again.”
“His and hers?” He looks at me stunned.
Smiling, I rub my belly. “Yep, a boy and a girl,” I say, happy that they’re both there, safe.
Ethan grabs me, spinning around, laughing.
“What are you doing? Put me down before I’m sick all down your back,” I slap his back giggling.
Putting me down gently. We look at each other, happiness radiating from him.
“Thank you, for giving me these babies, and for giving me another chance to be their dad. I’m sorry for everything. I know you’re right about us. It hurts, but you deserve so much better. I hope you find it.” His voice catching.
“Can we at least be friends?” he asks, placing a hand on my bump.
I nod “yeah, we’ll have these two soon. So, we’re going to need to be.”
The next weeks are so peaceful. A sense of serenity has washed over everyone.
Well, all apart from Ashley, but I don’t care. Mason goes home now, although he’s still there when I need him. I talk to Ethan quite a bit, always about the babies. I even visit, Isabella, Ethan’s mom, once a week.
Mason and Ethan’s relationship is slowly repaired in spite of what happened between all of us.
~*~
Chapter Fourteen
Ethan and Mason are both coming to the 3D scan with me. They’re both so excited, I smile listening to them chat away about what the twin’s will look like, whether there’s definitely a boy and a girl in there. Their arguments over names make me giggle, their bickering carries on all the way into the doctor’s office where I cut the both off.
“Behave the pair of ya or you’ll wait in the car!” They both quiet immediately. I wouldn’t do that to either of them, but the warning works nicely.
“Lily Carter? Come on back, we’re ready for you now,” a cheerful nurse says. I smile, standing, glad to be dragged from my thoughts, I really need to stop worrying about Ashley and what she thinks.
Following her into the scan room, where Dr James is already waiting for us.
“Hello, Lily. How are you feeling?” She asks, nodding to Mason, looking curiously at Ethan.
“Much better, thanks. This is Ethan, Ethan, this is Dr James.” I bite my cheek looking at him.
Smiling at me, he looks at Dr James. “Nice to meet you,” he offers his hand.
“You, too. Are you…?” She asks tentatively, looking at me for guidance. I nod, biting my cheek harder.
She scowls at Ethan, none too happy.
“Yes, I'm their dad. Thank you, for taking care of them a few weeks ago,” his voice sad.
“Oh, well, it’s my job, but you’re welcome. I hope it doesn’t happen again,” she says sternly.
“No. It definitely won’t,” he assures, looking at me.
“Okay, then. Jump up here, then Lily, and we’ll take a look,” she says, her eyes twinkling.
“I’ll just use the step and slide on, if that’s okay. Can’t jump much these days,” I chuckle, getting comfortable, lifting my top.
I’m spell bound by the picture swirling on the screen. Two perfect little babies, facing each other, their little fists in their mouths. Wiggling and kicking. Tears clog my throat, as I look at them, they have tiny noses. One baby waves a hand, making me giggle.
“She’s waving, mommy,” Dr James says happily and I blink stunned, no one’s ever called me that before. It sounds strange, I look around wide eyed, my eyes connecting with Mason’s, he smiles.
I look at Ethan, shocked to see him actually crying, tears flowing down his face, staring unblinking at the screen.
“Are you having a video?” she asks. I nod, unable to speak, or look away from Ethan.
He meets my eyes with a heart stopping smile.
He mouths ‘thank you,’ to me, smiling I feel the connection we once shared strengthen.
~*~
I have to admit I was worried about Ethan coming today, I thought for sure Ashley would cause problems. It makes me wonder if Ethan actually told her where he was going today.
“That was amazing. Did you see their little faces? I think they look like me.” Mace babbles from the back seat.
Ethan and I laugh, “you think so? I thought they looked more like me.” He smiles, I shake my head at them.
“Okay, no fighting over my babies, they aren’t even here yet. Can we just wait and see?” I ask giggling, I love that they are back to their old selves.
I relax enjoying the drive, occasionally I giggle listening to them argue and bicker.
Pulling into my drive, my heart sinks, and the smile is wiped from my face by the sight of an angry woman sitting on one of our veranda chairs.
“Okay. Stay in the car please?” Ethan looks at me pleading. First, I’m pissed; why should I hide? This is my freaking house. Looking back at her as she stomps down the front steps, I nod.
“Mace, stay with Lily. I’ll deal with this, lock the doors when I get out.” He looks anxious getting out of the car. Mace leans over locking the doors as instructed.
“It’ll be okay. Can you open the window a little?” Mason asks, watching his brother and Ashley.
As soon as the window opens, we’re blasted by Ashley’s shrill voice.
“I told you I didn’t want you to go.” She’s waving her arms around like a child.
“And I told you, that’s not your choice. Those babies are mine too, I will be there for them and their mother. She’s eighteen years old, for god’s sake. And you expect her to cope on her own, with twins. Without any support, financially or otherwise from the father of those innocent babies?” Ethan sounds really pissed off.
