by Sandy Lowe
Ryan shook her head. “I don’t have words for how fucked up that is. You deserve someone who wants you with every breath they take and shows you just how much every day.”
Sarah knew all too well that life was about dealing with what you got, not dreaming about what you deserved. She’d stopped deluding herself that day, and she wasn’t about to start again now.
“I can’t have sex with you.”
Chapter Six
Stripped Bare
Ryan put her hands on Sarah’s shoulders and nudged her back to look into her eyes. “Huh?”
“I can’t have sex with you.”
“Sarah, with everything you’ve been through, everything you told me tonight, I can certainly understand why sex with me would be the last thing on your mind. But those kisses were amazing, even on my awesome kissing booth scale, so maybe you could explain your logic?”
“I don’t know you.”
Ryan frowned.
“I don’t want to have sex with someone I don’t know. That’s what she did, what she wanted more than she wanted me. I don’t want to want it, too.”
“Oh, baby.”
There it was again. Baby. Why did it have to feel so good?
“Melinda was a crazy person. Maybe it’s not that unusual to have a kink for sex with strangers, I don’t know, but it sure as hell isn’t right that she preferred it to sex with you. That she deliberately and cruelly denied you any chance to be with her. What she did to you was awful, but I’m not sorry you’re not with her anymore. She didn’t deserve you.”
Sarah rested her head against Ryan’s shoulder and blew out a slow breath. Logically, she knew that wanting to have sex with Ryan wasn’t the same thing as Melinda not wanting to have sex with her, but if felt too close for comfort. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. If you don’t want to kiss me again, if you’re not interested in seeing where this leads tonight, tomorrow, a week from now, that’s okay. We can get up and go inside. But hear me when I say that what’s happening between us isn’t the same as Melinda wanting to screw strangers. I like you, Sarah.”
“I like you too.”
“See? It’s not the same. Do you think Melinda liked that girl? Do you think she even knew her name? That she ever really saw her?”
I like you.
I know you.
I see you.
Sarah felt each simple admission as if it were a suture in her wounded heart. She was being an idiot. Ryan wasn’t a stranger. Hell, she’d spilled more about her life in the last thirty minutes than even her best friends knew. You couldn’t get more personal. So what if they’d only just met? Sometimes it happened that way. An instant connection.
“What are your feelings on rebound sex?”
Ryan’s eyes went deep and swirly. “I’m a big fan. It’s right up there with first-thing-in-the morning sex; frustrated, we’re-in-the-middle-of-an-argument sex; and my personal favorite, we’re-gonna-be-late-because-you’re-so-fucking-gorgeous sex.”
“Late to where?”
“Wherever it is I’m taking you on our first date.”
She chewed on her bottom lip. “I’m not sure I’m ready for—”
The briefest touch of Ryan’s lips to hers cut her off. “I know. I’ve got time, and I’ve got patience. Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be waiting, and in the meantime I’d love nothing more than to show you just how sexy you are and make you come all over this picnic table.” She considered for a moment. “Twice. Possibly three times.”
“Confident, are we?”
“Just sure of how much I want you.”
“That feels really good to hear.”
“I promise it will feel even better when I show you. Say yes.”
Sarah knew what she’d say before she threaded her fingers in Ryan’s hair, before she pressed against Ryan’s chest, before her lips hovered over Ryan’s mouth, but she did all those things for the simple pleasure of being able to, of being sure they’d be welcomed.
Finally, with this woman, she would be able to breathe.
“Yes.”
* * *
They were tucked into a secluded corner of the gardens, stretched out next to each other on a checkered picnic blanket that Ryan had rustled up from the caretaker’s shed. The moment was sweetly awkward, like teenagers on a third date, inching ever closer and secretly hoping the other would make a move.
“Tell me about the stripper.”
Sarah halted mid-inch. “Huh?”
“The stripper at the club in Times Square. Tell me about her.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“Come on, you can’t drop that bombshell into a conversation and withhold details.” Ryan tugged at her hair again. Sarah was starting to love when she did that.
“It was part of the story. My tragic story, remember? I didn’t tell you so you could get off.”
Ryan’s breath was warm against her cheek. “I bet it would make you hot and wet to watch me get off on the details.”
Fuck. It so would.
“I seem to recall telling you I wasn’t here to be your escort.” She tried for prim and proper and made it roughly halfway there.
“That’s true. Good thing I prefer you as the do-ee rather than the do-er.”
“The do-ee? How old are you?” She made a face.
“Old enough to want the details. Spill.”
“You’re not going to let this go, huh?”
“Not a chance.”
“Well, if you’re going to drag it out of me against my will, then I have no choice but to tell you that she was incredibly beautiful. Tall, dark, and willowy.”
Ryan exhaled a measured breath slowly. Stroked a hand down Sarah’s hair, slid it to the nape of her neck. “Keep going.”
“I noticed her the second we sat down. She was working the pole to the left of the one in front of us. She had amazing legs. She was at least five eight, probably taller. She had flawless skin and all of it on display, save for her fire engine red panties.”
“Red’s my new favorite color.” Ryan traced the curve of Sarah’s neck down the column of her throat. She closed the gap between them, kissed the spot, then sucked until Sarah gasped. “Don’t stop now, Aphrodite.”
Where was she again?
“Avery noticed her too and commented on how hot she was. When you find someone genuinely attractive in a strip club, she stands out. We ordered drinks and after a while, I saw her glancing my way. Not all the time, but enough that Avery started teasing me.”
Ryan kissed down her collarbone. “Did you like that the stripper had noticed you? Singled you out?”
Sarah groaned. Both in frustration at the sensual open-mouthed kisses that weren’t nearly enough and the damning accuracy of the question. “Maybe.”
“Be honest.”
“Okay, yes. I liked that she’d noticed me. It felt good to know someone found me attractive.”
Ryan looked up and smiled wickedly. “You’re a very dirty girl.”
Sarah couldn’t help the laugh that burst out. “Excuse me?” No one had ever called her a dirty girl before. It ought to be porn flick cringey. But when Ryan said it, it sounded honest and sexy.
“You heard me. Your girlfriend refuses to put out, but you have needs that aren’t being met. It makes you a little crazy, willing to take risks. You’re half-drunk in a strip joint, and you really shouldn’t be there, but a sexy dancer is into you. It makes you hot and it doesn’t take much to get you wet, you’re so ready for it, you’ve been deprived for so long. Don’t tell me you didn’t sit there, in your heels and night out on the town clothes, sipping your girly pink drink, your friend chatting away next to you, and all the time imagining her mouth on your pussy.”
On the word pussy, Ryan’s hand moved to her breast, circling her nipple though the fabric of her dress, pinching lightly.
“Oh God.” Sarah closed her eyes, the picture Ryan had painted flashing across her eyelids. It did sound dirty the way she told
it, and now she wasn’t sure if that was what had actually happened or if Ryan was making her believe it. She arched her back and pushed her breast into Ryan’s hand. “More, please.”
“You’ll get more when you give me more. Were you imagining her mouth on your pussy, baby?”
“Yes.” Sarah felt Ryan’s other hand move to her breast. “I was thinking about how good it would feel if she licked my clit.”
Ryan made a sound that could have been a moan or could have been a growl, and her hand tightened on Sarah’s breast. “Straight to the action.” She reached around and slowly, with the care of a woman unwrapping a treasured heirloom, lowered the zipper on Sarah’s dress.
“I was lonely.”
Ryan caressed the bare skin of her back and every circuit Sarah had sizzled. Oh God yes.
“Don’t give me that. People don’t go to strip clubs because they’re lonely. They go because they’re horny. Because they want to come. Did you need to come, Aphrodite?”
Ryan slipped the dress from her shoulders.
“I didn’t—”
“If you’re not honest with me we’ll go back inside, and you can walk around all night with the ache that you primed in my lap earlier. Is that what you want?”
Sarah opened her eyes. Ryan’s mouth was level with her breasts, still covered by her black satin bra. The way Ryan touched her was so careful, torturously slow, allowing her to absorb every sensation, somehow knowing that a woman starved would need to savor the texture of every fingertip against her skin. This was the Ryan who’d wrapped her in her arms and told her she was sexy, the one who knew she deserved more than she’d been given.
But the longer she stared into those caramel eyes, the clearer she saw the edge just under the surface. That hint of steel. Ryan would be gentle. But that didn’t mean she’d play nice.
“I don’t want to go back inside,” Sarah said.
“What do you want?”
“I want you to keep touching me. Please.”
Ryan shook her head. “You’re going to have to do better than that.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“It was a simple question.”
Sarah wanted to wring her neck and kiss her at the same time. Yeah, it was a simple question, but that didn’t mean the answer was easy. She hadn’t had sex, all the way to orgasm, in more months than she cared to think about. She’d pushed the need down, diverted it and rerouted it until she’d convinced herself it wasn’t there. Admitting it now was…embarrassing. Bringing it into the light made it real. Ryan wasn’t going to let her hide her desire. She wanted it out in the open. She wanted Sarah to face it.
“Tell me that admitting you wanted the stripper to lick your clit didn’t make you wetter just now,” Ryan said.
Heat rose up her neck. “I can’t.”
Ryan nodded. “It makes you hot to tell me how much she turned you on, doesn’t it?”
She hesitated and Ryan squeezed her hand, one corner of her mouth tilting in a half-smile. I’ve got you. “Yes.”
“Now tell me if you went to that strip club because you were horny and wanted to come.”
Embarrassment wanted to submerge her, but she fought against it. “Yes. I didn’t consciously think about it like that because I was there with Avery, but I wanted another woman’s hands on me. Touching myself wasn’t enough anymore. If Avery hadn’t bought me the lap dance, I would’ve paid for it myself.”
Ryan’s eyes shuttered closed, as if the words were too much for her to take. When she opened them again, the edge was even sharper. “Good girl. For that, you deserve a reward.” She pushed the strap of Sarah’s bra down her shoulder and cupped Sarah’s breast in her palm. Lowering her head, she sucked on the exposed nipple.
Sarah shuddered, her pussy clenching as if Ryan had sucked on her clit. She was so wet it was obscene, soaking her panties and inner thighs. “More, I need…please.” The garbled half sentence was all she could manage as heat shot from her nipple to every erogenous zone ever discovered. Her hips rose and a small, desperate sound escaped her parted lips.
“What happened next?” Ryan unclasped the front hook on her bra and her breasts spilled out into the moonlight. Ryan just stared for a second, her breath catching. “God. You’re so beautiful.”
The words were spontaneous, not part of the game they’d constructed. They bolstered her nerve. Tonight, spread out for Ryan like cream cheese on crackers, she was beautiful. “We sat for a couple of songs. I wasn’t listening to anything Avery was saying. All I could think about was her long dark hair threaded through my fingers, her tongue circling my clit. I was so wet I was afraid to move, scared that someone would notice. I was sure I must have soaked through my jeans.”
Ryan groaned against her breast, scraping her teeth along the hard ridge of her nipple. “You’re making me so hot, Aphrodite.”
She was so focused on how Ryan was making her feel, on the lewd story Ryan had demanded she tell, she hadn’t considered it might be turning her on as well. “Are you wet?”
She’d meant the question to come out low and seductive, a little payback. But it was too high-pitched. Too real.
Ryan released her breast and shifted so they were face-to-face. “You never have to doubt how much I want you.”
Sarah bit her lip. She wanted to believe her, but they were just words. Pretty words, sure. But she’d been lied to with pretty words plenty. The body never lied. “Yeah. But are you wet?”
“Stroke my clit.”
The command was so unexpected Sarah blinked. “Huh?”
“Find out for yourself whether you made me wet.”
Oh.
With fingers that weren’t as steady as she’d have liked, Sarah reached for the waistband of Ryan’s white chef pants. She tugged the zipper down. Her heart started to race, her vision narrowed, her fingers on Ryan’s pants, sliding in, sliding under. She eased past the barrier of Ryan’s underwear and shuddered out a moan.
Ryan wasn’t just wet. Wasn’t just turned on. She was soaked.
Sarah’s throat clogged, a lump settling itself where her breath should have been. Tears stung her eyes. She felt her way down to the folds of Ryan’s pussy, bypassing her clit. Dipping into Ryan’s cashmere soft center, she spun her fingers in a slow circle, scooping up the evidence of her desire, wet and hot and slick. “You want me.”
“So much.”
She buried her face in Ryan’s neck and took a second to process. To breathe through the swell of emotion. The fluid painting her fingers irrefutable evidence that Ryan was attracted to her. She slid a finger to Ryan’s opening and pressed, felt the flutter of muscles in response.
“Careful.” Ryan’s voice was sandpaper.
She smiled. No doubt in her mind now. “Why? You like it.”
“Ladies come first.” Ryan’s eyes were screwed shut, the look on her face almost painful.
“And what are you, an alien from another planet?” But she eased back an inch and played with the folds guarding Ryan’s entrance. So wet.
“You know what I mean.”
“I’m not sure I agree with that rule. Maybe I can convince you to change your mind.” Before she had a chance to argue, Sarah slid a finger on either side of Ryan’s clit and tugged.
Ryan’s head snapped back and her breath sawed out in a harsh pant. “Jesus, fuck, woman.”
Sarah grinned. “I don’t think Jesus is going to help you.” She tugged again, circled, felt Ryan’s clit grow hard beneath her touch. Was there anything sexier than a woman’s clit hardening under your hand?
Ryan gripped her wrist and pulled her hand away and out of her pants, not releasing her until Sarah felt the night air chill her wet fingertips. “Enough. You’ve had your fun.”
She pouted. A full, puffy bottom lip pout. “What a tease. I wasn’t done.”
“You’re the tease. For someone who’s been on the sidelines, you sure know what you’re doing.”
She liked that Ryan thought she had skill
s. Sarah brought her fingers to her mouth and sucked Ryan’s come off them as if they were a lollipop. “Mmm. You taste good. I bet you’d taste even better if I licked it off your clit. Maybe I should lick all that come from your pussy, and if that made you wet again, well, I’d just have to start over.”
Ryan grabbed her hand to stop her from swirling her tongue around her fingers a second time. “You like to play with fire, don’t you, dirty girl?”
She’d never thought of herself that way before, but the heat in Ryan’s eyes made it impossible not to fan the flames. She glanced down at herself, her dress pushed down to her waist and her bra still hanging half off her shoulders. She met Ryan’s eyes. Look how shameless you make me.
“You’d better make me come soon, or I’m going down on you, whether you like it or not.”
Chapter Seven
So. Fucking. Sexy.
“Baby, you couldn’t take me, even if you wanted to. You’re about as tough as a kitten in a herd of elephants.”
Sarah narrowed her eyes, glided a hand down Ryan’s belly, cupped her pussy through her pants, and squeezed. “Tough isn’t what’s required here.”
“God.” Ryan squirmed. Her eyelids fluttered and she thrust once, hard, into Sarah’s palm. Before Sarah could amp up the pressure, Ryan flipped her, rolling on top and pinning her to the picnic blanket. “I’m going to make you come so hard.”
Sarah’s brain fogged like a windshield in a summer storm. “That’s the best idea you’ve had all night.”
Ryan traced the curve of Sarah’s earlobe with her tongue. Nipped. “Anyone ever tell you you have a smart mouth?”
“Occasionally.”
“I’m going to make you pay for it, and for that grab-and-squeeze you just pulled.”
“But I was provoked.”
“Too bad. Tell me what happens next.”
Sarah struggled to remember. The stripper. The club. She’d needed to come. God, how she needed to come. “When the music changed, the dancers switched and the stripper came down onto the floor. She circled a couple of tables, collecting bills from appreciative patrons, but I knew she was heading for me. I had to bite the inside of my cheek to stop from making a sound. I couldn’t have moved if a tsunami flattened the building.”
