“Really?” That made him a little sad, that something so exuberantly pleasurable for him wouldn’t result in an orgasm for her. “Hmm.”
“Please don’t take that as some kind of personal challenge.” She rolled off him and pulled the blanket over her. “Many women come more easily from clitoral stimulation than vaginal. It’s okay. Whatever works, right?”
“Well, yes, but how do you—”
She interrupted him. “I’ve read up on this topic. Also, I know my body really well. I’ve…uh, experimented enough to know what works for me.”
“Like…experimented with yourself or other people?” Just when he thought Gracie couldn’t surprise him anymore, she pulled out something like this. That naive exterior hid so much. When would he stop underestimating her?
“Both.” She turned her head toward him with a cheeky smile. “Myself, some boys, and one girl, just to see how that felt.”
“And?”
“It was okay, but I like men. I like all those muscles and that weird hair.” She looped a bit of his body hair around her finger. It formed an arrow leading the way from his lower belly button to the good stuff. “And that oomph.”
“Oomph?”
“Yes. You must know what I mean, because you have enough oomph to power a four-wheeler. All of our four-wheelers. You know, that throw-you-down-and-ravage-you kind of thing, except not against your will, obviously.”
“Hmm. Oomph. I think there’s more to it than oomph.” He sat up to remove the condom. He left the bed for a lonely two seconds to toss it in the woodstove, where it sizzled briefly.
Gracie welcomed him back into the bed and snuggled against him. “Like what, besides oomph?”
“Well, there’s stroking.” He demonstrated by feathering light touches along her hip. “Making love with your fingertips. There’s licking and tasting and savoring. Don’t those things count for anything?”
“Of course they do. Especially the way you do them.” She bit her lip and let her eyes drift shut as he continued to draw patterns across her skin. He didn’t know what they were—just random swirls and angles, following the flow of her curves.
“So, with all this experimenting…”
“Yes?”
He wanted to know how he fit into that. Was this another experiment? He didn’t know quite how to ask that question. Or what answer he wanted. What was this for him? He had no idea.
“You’re wondering about us?” She let her head fall his way, opening her eyes. He felt as if he could see all the way to her heart. And what he witnessed there both touched and terrified him. She was looking at him as if he were the only man in the entire world. “Well, the thing is, I have a crush on you,” she said softly.
A shock traveled through him, as if he’d touched an electrified fence.
“Oh yeah?”
Oh yeah? What kind of boneheaded thing was that to say? But he couldn’t kick his brain into gear to think of anything else.
“Yes. Even back at Ocean Shores. I came up with a list of ways to get rid of it.”
“Oh yeah?”
God, now he was a fucking broken record. He cleared his throat. “Did they work?”
“Well, obviously not. Here I am.” She gave him a winning, intimate smile, the kind of smile that reached right into his heart and spun it like a whirligig.
He had to say something. He couldn’t just leave her hanging. But what? Scrambling, he reached for a reasonable tone of voice. “It’s understandable. You probably have feelings leftover from the kidnapping.”
“From the kidnapping?” Her eyebrows drew together in a frown.
“Yes, because I rescued you. I was older, and you probably looked up to me as your savior. I was your hero then, and maybe some of that stuck with you.”
She lifted herself up on one elbow and glared at him. “Wait a second. You think I imprinted on you, like some kind of duckling?”
“A duckling?”
“If you raise a duckling from an egg, they think you’re their mother,” she said impatiently.
“I definitely don’t think I’m your mother.” He couldn’t stop his facetious smirk, even though he knew it was juvenile.
“Oh, for God’s sake.” She pushed the covers away and swung her legs off the bed. “You know what I’m talking about. And that’s ridiculous.” She snatched her leggings off the wood pile and brandished them in his direction. “If I get splinters, I’m blaming you.”
“You don’t have to be so upset.” He sat up in bed. The still-chilly air felt good against his sweaty upper body. “It was just a thought.”
“It was a stupid thought. Why would I have feelings leftover from when I was a baby? I didn’t even remember any of it until recently.”
“Yes, but your subconscious remembers. Just ask my therapist. He’s always talking about that.”
“You’re being very patronizing,” she snapped.
“All I said was—”
“I heard you. And don’t worry. You just did what I couldn’t do even with my four-step process.”
“What?”
“You crushed my crush.” She hopped from foot to foot as she dragged on her leggings. “Congratulations.”
“Gracie…come on. Why don’t you come back to bed? We can figure this out.” Naked, if possible. Even though her fury radiated from her like invisible porcupine quills, he wanted her again. Already. They had no more condoms, but they could get creative. He just wanted to touch her and feel her soft skin against him and listen to her laughter and—
Shit. This wasn’t the kind of thing he usually felt after sex. Usually his mind almost immediately wandered to the marina, and whether he should make a nighttime check on the newest sailboats berthed there, and if the gas pumps held enough fuel, and if he should buy the old schooner he’d just seen advertised on his corkboard.
“No. I have things to do. Important things. I don’t need someone around who thinks I don’t know my own mind.” She pulled her cashmere hoodie over her head. It created a static charge that made some of her blond hair stand up straight.
“I didn’t say that,” he protested. “That’s not how I see you… Gracie, don’t leave. Where are you going to go? We drove here together, remember?”
“See, there you go again, treating me like I’m not a fully functioning adult. I keep a pair of skis here.” She marched toward the cabin door, where, he now noticed, a few sets of skis were propped against the wall. After shoving her feet into ski boots, she drew on her jacket and grabbed some skis. “Think you can manage to work the four-wheeler?”
“Yes, but—”
“Then have fun. Watch the curves along the ridge, they can get icy in the spring, when the thaw-freeze cycle sets in.” She swung open the door, sending a swirl of ice crystals wafting into the cabin. “Do you know the way?”
“I’ll manage.”
“You have your phone with you?”
“Yes. Don’t worry about me. Go. I’ll see you back at the lodge.”
She didn’t answer as she shouldered her skis.
“Gracie,” he added sharply. “I’ll see you back at the lodge, right? You’re not going to skip off again?”
She paused, then nodded reluctantly. “I won’t do that.” Before he could thank her, she added, “I’ll be able to find Janus Kaminski faster if you come with me.”
“Right. Of course.” His wry tone made her look back over her shoulder at him.
“Okay then. Well, thanks for the sex. That was fun.” She blew him a kiss and disappeared out the door.
He stared at the blank wooden surface for a very confused stretch of time. Scratched his head. Relived the entire sequence of the conversation. He’d obviously screwed up and infuriated her.
And he knew exactly the moment when it had all gone wrong—when he’d cast doubt on her “crush.”
He knew that she hated it when people didn’t take her seriously or treated her like a child. And it happened pretty often because of her small size and her blon
d, quirky kittenishness and her kind smile.
Why had he done that? Why had he dismissed her feelings as something left over from when she was a tiny baby?
He knew what his therapist would say. Because skating on the surface was easier. Because he was used to his life the way it was. Because falling for Gracie—truly falling for her, putting her at the center of his life—would change everything.
19
Gracie worked off most of her anger during her brisk ski back to the lodge. Pretty soon all the snow would melt away, so she’d come back to Rocky Peak just in time for one last ski from the hunter’s cabin to the lodge, a route she knew by heart.
Of course, she’d be here next winter. And the next. Her brief adventure outside the boundaries of Rocky Peak had been a bit of a disaster. Only a few months on her own and she’d walked away from a job and gotten her heart smashed to smithereens.
I have a crush on you.
Oh yeah?
She cringed at the memory. Oh yeah? What kind of thing was that to say, especially in the amused tone of voice Mark had used? As if she was baring her heart just to entertain him?
It was official. Her crush was dead. If it wasn’t completely, totally dead, she’d have to find a way to kill it even deader. Because now that she and Mark had made love—no, had sex—her heart was at even bigger risk. It might not survive if she didn’t put up a stronger shield around it. Especially if Mark was going to come with her on the rest of her journey.
When she reached the lodge, she glided around to the back entrance, where a long, narrow ski room held a motley collection of snowshoes and skis for family and guests. As she unbuckled her ski boots, she realized she’d left her other boots back at the cabin with Mark.
Mark, so dark and sexy in that bed, embodying every fantasy she’d ever had about a man. His chiseled muscles, his mussed curls, his full lips, his confused smile.
Okay, maybe that part wasn’t straight from her fantasies.
Still, confused was better than condescending. If there was one thing she couldn’t stand, it was people talking down to her. How dare he talk down to her about her own feelings? She should never have confessed her crush. Now she was stuck traveling with someone who knew she had a crush on him and found it to be laughable.
She clicked out of the bindings of her skis, then stepped out of them. Before she could reach for the handle of the back door, it swung open, revealing Jake inside the ski room’s entry. He wore a sweater she’d knitted for him in high school—a gray-green creation that had ended up with one sleeve longer than the other. He’d never complained about that—just one of the things that made him a great big brother.
“I saw you skiing past,” he explained. “I wanted to talk to you.”
“I’m not in a very good mood,” she told him. “Maybe later?”
“I have to get back to the bar.” Jake lived in town, in a second-floor loft apartment above the Last Chance. “It’ll just take a few minutes.”
She sighed and stashed her skis with the others, then clomped over to the bench that ran the entire length of the back wall. “Okay. Look, I’m sorry I sprang my bombshell on you all like that.”
“Don’t worry about it.” He followed her to the bench and sat next to her while she took off her boots. “Not sure there’s a good way to share that kind of news.”
“Yeah, the Hallmark card selection was sadly lacking.”
“Right? And it’s not like you could throw a party, like one of those gender-reveal things.”
“Or a surprise party. Surprise! I’m not your sister after all.”
They smiled at each. The familiar Rockwell family teasing made her feel better for the first time since she’d skied away from Mark. “Laugh so you don’t cry” was kind of an informal family motto that they all took very much to heart.
“But you know that’s not even a little bit true,” he said gently. “You will always be my sister. Our sister. DNA has jack shit to do with it.”
“Thank you.” She rested her head against his shoulder. Jake was a special person, she knew that very well. He had a gift for being right where you needed him at exactly the right time and doing exactly what you needed to feel better. Easygoing, even-keeled, charming, and it hardly needed to be said, heartbreakingly handsome, Jake was a gem, and she was lucky to claim him as her big brother. “You guys aren’t getting rid of me that easily.”
“Amen to that. So where’s your sidekick?”
“Mark? He’s either trying to figure out how to start the four-wheeler or he’s on his way back. I…uh…needed a little space.”
Jake nodded and didn’t pursue the topic. That was another stupendously great thing about Jake. He knew when not to push. Maybe it came from being a bartender. Or maybe it was a natural skill. But he’d never once made her feel like a silly kid, even when she had been a silly kid. He’d always offered her respect and dignity.
“You know I’ve been doing some of my own investigating into Mom’s accident.”
“Right. Those frat boys.” It had recently come out that a group of college kids staying at nearby Majestic Lodge had been taking part in a hazing ritual that involved darting into the road and scaring drivers.
Kai, only fifteen at the time, had been in the car with Mom. He’d seen someone in the road right before Mom had lost control of the wheel. But she’d already been jumpy because of a blowout with Max, so Kai remembered mostly how upset she’d been, and how he’d tried to talk her out of leaving.
“But was it really their fault? They didn’t intend to hurt her.”
“I just kept wondering if there was more to the story. Especially after someone sent threatening notes to Serena at the bar. She was working for me and getting nasty letters—that pissed me the hell off.”
“Rick McConor’s father left those notes, right? The same man who shot at Lyle and Isabelle?”
That incident had happened around New Year’s. Lyle had thrown himself in front of a bullet for Isabelle and could easily have died. Even before that, Gracie had approved of him, but after that, she adored him.
“Yes. Bill McConor, protecting his son. He wanted people to stop asking questions, but it had the opposite effect on me. Rick lives in Los Angeles now, so I went to see him. He wouldn’t tell me jack shit. Said he was sorry, but no one meant any harm. Then he kicked me off his property. Which is very nice, by the way. He’s made a ton of money since he left Rocky Peak.”
“Good for him,” Gracie muttered, much more bitterly than she normally would. Rick McConor had helped cause Amanda’s death, even if he hadn’t meant to, and she wasn’t ready to forgive that.
“Yeah. I guess that’s why his father was so anxious to chase away anyone looking into what happened. Rick has a lot to lose. He’s considering running for the Senate.”
“Well, he’d probably fit right in there.”
Jake gave her a look from under raised eyebrows. “I’m picking up some cynicism. Where’s your sunshiny attitude? Did all that SoCal sun steal it away?”
“No.” Maybe a SoCal resident had, but she wasn’t going to get into that right now. “So why are you telling me about all this? Are you just catching me up on what everyone else knows already?”
“No, I haven’t told the others about this. You’re the first.”
A sense of pride warmed her heart. For once, she wasn’t the baby sister afterthought. “Why?”
“I want more information before I get the others involved. They’re all…” He hesitated, as if searching for the right word. “Lovey-dovey. It’s all weddings, babies, plans. I don’t want to rain on anyone’s happy ending.”
“Well, obviously I’m your girl, then. No weddings or babies for me. Not even a plan, for that matter.”
He shot her a dubious look. “You sure about that? Mark seems like a good guy who came all the way out here for you.”
“Oh yes, I’m sure. Go ahead, rain away. What’s this all about?”
He leaned forward and rested his elbows
on his knees. His tawny-brown hair caught a gleam of light from the overheads. “I need to bounce some ideas off someone. Lyle gave me a referral to a private investigator he knows in LA, and I’ve been working with her. She helped me find the names and addresses of the other frat boys who were there.”
“Wow, she must be good.”
Jake’s jaw flexed. “Irritatingly so, yes. She wants to do everything herself, since I’m not a professional investigator.”
Hmm. Jake didn’t usually get flustered by women. Interesting.
“In the meantime, something keeps bugging me. If Rick and the frat boys told the truth, that they were doing some dumbass hazing ritual and never intended to hurt anyone, what are they so afraid of?”
“Well…Mom died because of their stupid prank.”
“Yes, but the police ruled it an accident, and you could also say that Mom’s state of mind was just as much to blame. I’m not trying to excuse them. I’m just saying, they’re a bunch of rich kids who did something stupid. Do you really think they’d face any real consequences?”
She turned that over in her mind. “Maybe they thought they would?”
He nodded thoughtfully. “Yes, that’s possible. Except those rich-kid types are more likely to assume they can get away with anything.”
“But not Rick. Rick’s just a normal kid from Rocky Peak.”
“Right. But when I saw him in LA, I asked him if he could connect me with the other guys. Just to talk to them, not to make any trouble.”
“And?”
He smiled wryly. “That’s when he kicked me out. Forcefully. Two security guards were involved. He threatened to call the cops if I came anywhere near him again.”
“Wow. What a jerk! So you think…” She wasn’t sure quite how to finish that sentence. “What are you thinking?”
“I think he’s hiding something. That it wasn’t just a prank gone wrong. I think there must be something more.” He sat up, propping his back against the wall and stretching his legs out. “Yup. That’s what I think. Thanks, Gracie.”
“Um…sure?”
The Runaway Page 15
