by Fiona Faris
“Hmm,” she hummed and smiled. “During my days of the yeth, I believed I was a rational woman. I dae nae believe I can be betrothed tae any man. I felt too clean and worthy of only a laird,” she mused aloud and resumed “I never believed I would meet a man who would sweep me off my feet and make me a mama,” she said and smiled again
“Why would ye think as such?” she asked, “Ye wouldn’t be interested in his character or anything that might lull him tae ye?” Gretchen asked
“No, I found none worthy of my glance. I was so engrossed with my beauty and carried myself with pride. My father was a warrior, a high-ranked warrior of this land then. Lesser men avoided me, too, for respect and fear of my father’s position and how rude I could be. That is until I met a noble yeng man who was once a farmer and had come to enlist in the army for a great war against Wales.” she said and glanced at Gretchen’s face.
“What did he look like?” Gretchen asked, enjoying the story.
“He looked like a god. I was swept off my feet immediately. I wasn’t even interested in his character; I was too busy examining his… his…” Merriam paused.
“His what?” Gretchen prompted
“His wits, sword-wielding skill, his charm, and other things. Merriam finally said and laughed at her prudishness. “I know ye might have had the same thoughts about my son. He’s charming and witty. He’s skillful with the swords and weapons, and in the art of warfare, and he’s so kindly and loved by his people,” Merriam resumed, tilting her head toward Gretchen and fixing her gaze on her face.
“My thoughts sometimes are about him, but just pleasant thoughts, Mama! I dae nae have so much time tae fix him in all my thoughts, but in all honesty, he’s a kindly man,” Gretchen said softly, placing her hand on her head.
“I’m sure my son has good intentions fer ye. He must have loved ye so much. I know the way he looks at yer… yer…” she paused again.
“My what?” she prompted
“Yer dresses,” she finally said again and laughed at her lies.
“Is it so impossible for ye to name ordinary body parts, Mama? Breasts, hips, legs. Is it indecent tae straightforwardly talk about human body parts?”
Merriam’s eyes narrowed. “Because it might lead tae improper thoughts, and I dae nae want yer thoughts defiled,” Merriam replied, smiling
“I dae nae have improper thoughts, Mama, and I would prefer them to remain that way,” Gretchen said and paused. “Dae ye think he would have improper thoughts about me?” she resumed and stopped talking.
“Hardly ever.”
“Hardly ever? Which means, sometimes he would nurture some thoughts,” Gretchen said
“He’s a man, and I might not be in the proper place tae speak for him,” Merriam paused, “Ye wouldnae think badly of him if he did?” Merriam asked and smiled again.
“Nae, I wouldnae,” Gretchen replied and clamped her mouth shut. Gretchen pointedly looked away from her, putting an end to the rapid-paced talks. In the silence, she remembered Merriam’s story, and then connected it to when Fraser was alive. How she had first loved Callum, and later was arranged to marry Fraser, and how she had come to love Fraser. She yet remembered the death of Fraser and how she had missed him. After some minutes of rapid thoughts, she glanced to Merriam who had been silent too and became aware that Merriam was staring at her with bemusement.
“Have I done something wrong, Mama?” she demanded
“I noticed the change in yer mood when I mentioned Callum again. What has happened?” Merriam demanded too.
Gretchen cleared her throat and made to speak. “Mama, I shall be plain with ye. I have always had more than friendly feelings fer yer son. I have loved him since I was so yeng and tender. He was a friend tae my dead husband, who was the Laird before him. I wanted him tae be my husband. I wanted him closer tae me, but I was arranged for Fraser, and by custom, I was betrothed tae him. I had tae bury my feelings fer Callum and made Fraser my all. Now that Fraser is dead, I dae nae want tae bring myself tae love Callum again. I still mourn for Fraser. I dae nae know what the clanspeople will say. I dae nae know how Ava would feel. I dae nae know what tae dae.” Her voice cracked, a sign that she might soon break into tears.
“Dae nae be so bitter, my dear child. Ye have tried loving Fraser the right way. Ye have done the right thing cutting ties and loving him with all yer heart. Dae nae think so much about people’s thoughts. Only ye know what will make ye happy. Only ye know what soothes yer mind. Only ye know what ye love and want. It is understandable tae find love again and live happily,” she said and brushed Gretchen’s damp cheek with her gnarled fingers. “Pick up the broken pieces of yer heart and be happy,” she finished and pulled Gretchen close in a fond embrace.
“I dae nae know if he wants me now. Nae after nurturing Fraser’s child,” she said and sniffed.
“He sure would want ye. I have seen in his eyes. He’s a laird, and he will need an heir. I know how embittered he can be about maidens, and how he does nae seem tae be fond of them, but I noticed how he looks at ye. A look of desire,” Merriam said. “I shall have tae go tae sleep, my daughter. Tomorrow is another day,” Merriam patted Gretchen on her back and stood from her chair, walking to her room.
When all had become silent, Gretchen slipped into deep thought. She was still sitting in the great hall by the fire roaring in the hearth as all the past events of her life played back in her mind. She remembered everything, Fraser, Callum, their games, their sword brawls, their fishing adventures, and their horse rides. After a few minutes of deep thoughts, she could no longer hold it in anymore. She burst into uncontrollable tears.
As she was crying, Callum stood at the entrance of the room. He gazed silently at Gretchen as she wept bitterly.
Does she still mourn Fraser?
Sympathy flooded him at the same time as his heart sank with disappointment. He wanted to go to her and comfort her. He wanted to hug her close and whisper that everything will be all right, but his heart was heavy as well. Would he ever be the kind of man she could want? Could she ever set aside her grief and open her heart to him? He didn’t know, and so he left her alone and hurried away to his room.
As he left, Merriam strolled back to the room and put her arms around Gretchen.
“These might be the last of my tears tae mourn Fraser’s death. It wearies my soul tae cry in front of ye, in front of Ava and everyone. I shall cry no more after today,” said Gretchen, wiping away her tears with her hand.
“Cry out the pains, my daughter. Let the pains desert ye. Ye are, but a human and obligated tae remember unpleasant things. It’s a good thing to release yerself from the grief. I still remember Callum’s father, too. He was killed on the battleground. I remember him every day, but I have released myself from grief. All will be well,” she said and hugged Gretchen closer.
Soothed by Merriam’s embrace and wise words, Gretchen regained her calmness and composure. She kissed Merriam on her forehead and went to her bedroom where Ava was sleeping innocently. She gazed at Ava and covered her with a blanket, then lay beside her. Her face was covered in smiles as she remembered Merriam’s parting words:
Taking a second chance on love is like unwrapping another beautiful mystery, a beautiful mystery only ye can feel.
“It was a long night laced with bitterness and exquisite sweetness,” she said, and her eyes closed in sleep.
Chapter Ten
It was a new day at Clan Glenbogle. The sun was shining brightly, and the breeze blew gently, sending the trees dancing. Callum, Ava, Merriam, and Gretchen were sitting cheerfully on the green grass beside the River Ness. The day was warm and seemed a perfect one for a picnic.
A brightly colored cloth was spread out on the lush grass, and the contents of several baskets of food placed on the grass were being emptied onto it. The food was delicious enough to drive any human to salivate and immediately become hungry as its aroma filled the atmosphere. There were a variety of meats and cheeses, big plates of salad and
fruit, loaves of bread, and bottles of ales and scotches, and then flasks of cold water. There were neat plates and napkins set around for each participant and cups for drinking and other utensils for eating. A vase of wildflowers was placed at the center of the feast.
Gretchen was doing a more substantial part of the work; she looked beautiful in her light cotton gown. She was animated, laughing and talking with the others as she continued her duties. Merriam and Ava also helped her.
The picnic had been his idea; something he realized would bring much calmness and happiness to himself and his small family. He had introduced it to the others, giving them a different experience, and they seemed to be enjoying it more than he was.
Merriam was seated close to Gretchen on the blanket under the old oak. She was enjoying being out in the fresh air, with the breeze that lifted her white hair off her thin shoulders and the warmth of the sun on her wrinkled cheeks. She was cognizant of Callum and Gretchen’s affections but was much more interested in the outcome of their feelings. She glanced at the birds, dazzling in their autumn plumage, sweet with their whistling song, darting through the surrounding woods, flying from branch to branch so mindless and carefree. She glanced at Ava, who was running around, playing with some insects that were flying about. “Such a child sae beautiful and witty,” she said under her breath and continued her gaze at Ava.
Ava was aimless but was searching for something interesting to play with. She wandered to another oak tree close to the river and lifted her small face up at the fishing birds that would dive into the river and come out dripping wet with small fish clutched in their mouths. A beautiful smile covered her lips as her dazzling green eyes sought and found other birds doing the same thing. Ava stood like a stone, wondering if she could ever fish, staring down into the river. There was something so beautiful and wondrous to be learned if the proper teacher could be found. She tilted her head toward where the other family members were seated and flashed her gaze on Callum, “Uncle Callum!” she called.
Callum leaned back on his elbows as the smell of the picnic lunch brought a growl to his empty stomach. Although breakfast had been served some hours ago, he had been careful to eat only a little so he could fill his stomach with lunch. But now, it appeared that lunch was too long in coming!
“Ah! The wait is finally over! I will eat tae my fill till my stomach aches and either my Mama or Gretchen has to carry me home,” he chirped and laughed.
Gretchen and Merriam laughed, too. “My back is too old fer a gallant man like ye tae ride on,” Merriam said, sending them all reeling in laughter again.
“My back is sae soft and tender, it can only carry a toddler,” Gretchen said, and they all laughed again.
Gretchen was unpacking the plates and was setting them out, helped by Merriam and Ava. Soon it would be time to consume all the food. It was a perfectly warm day, perhaps the last sunny day of the year for a picnic. Gretchen caught Callum’s eyes and smiled at him. Something instantly swelled up deep in his heart for her.
“Will ye stop staring and lend a hand?” Merriam snapped, glancing at Callum who turned to her in startlement. He’d been caught off guard, and his thoughts were interrupted. “
Yes, Mother!” he replied and hurriedly moved to Gretchen as he had thought his Mother must have been obviously peeved that he was doing nothing in setting out the lunch but just laying about. But he was the Laird anyway, and he shouldn’t have to do such things, but his Mama, phew! She would never hear of such.
Gretchen smiled as Callum came closer, kneeling and handling a plate in his hands. She scooped some food onto the plate, beckoned to him to pick another dish, which he did, and repeated the process until all the dishes needed for lunch had been filled. ‘My laird, I need yer help with the cups, too,” she said, pointing to another basket where piles of cups were kept.
“Yes, my lady, I’ll get them right away,” Callum said and stretched to the left for the basket. He lifted the bucket to his side and pushed it toward Gretchen who already had a bottle of ale gripped in her hand. “Here they are, my lady. Any other thing I can help with?” Callum said, running a hand through his golden hair.
“Yes, my laird, I need yer help to set the cups on the floor so I could pour the ale into them,” she said, smiling at Callum and immediately lifted her gaze from him.
“Aye, my lady,” he said and immediately set the cups on the ground so carelessly that the cups began to fall.
“Ah! My laird, I believe setting a cup on level ground should nae be tasking! If it were a slippery floor, I would overlook,” Merriam said and shook her head.
“My lady shall teach me kitchen jobs. My title had given me enough time just tae breathe and sometimes clean myself. I barely know how tae lift a spoon to make a green tea or make a stew. All I can dae is glance at the training soldiers, lift my swords and wield it sometimes, and lift my pen and write scrolls,” Callum moaned, covering his face with his palms.
“She will be glad tae teach ye how tae work in the kitchen if only yer full concentration will be given and Heaven and Earth know it is nae possible,” Merriam replied, smartly, glancing at Gretchen who was pouring fresh ale into the cups.
“Ah, Mama! We shall leave the Laird tae his work, training the warriors and keeping the village and the farms safe fer us. The kitchen is nae place fer the Laird. Here ye gae, my laird,” Gretchen said and handed a cup of ale and a little big plate of food to Callum with a bow. She also gave Merriam her own cup of brew and dish of food, too, repeating the same gesture. Handling the foods to the two grownups, her eyes searched for Ava. She saw her glancing at the river, trying to use a fishing hook.
“Ava! Food is ready. Come fer yer food, or it gets too cold tae be eaten,” she called loudly.
The call made Callum realize that Ava had not been with them all while, his concentration had been entirely on Gretchen. He looked over to her, standing in front of a river, glancing down as if she were a trained fisherman. His brow furrowed as he watched her. If there were one word he would use to describe her, it was probably “Graceful.”.
As little as she was, she approached everything with the single-mindedness of a hunter in search of prey. When she had her attention focused on something, she would focus all completely. Her memory was sharp and perhaps vast. He remembered how he had watched her grow up. She had always been little and graceful. There was this question about her age. She had been born just seven years ago, but it seemed she wasn’t anywhere close to six years old. She too looked have matured mentally, and he was convinced of that much.
She had understood the demise of her father and had taken it in stride. The death he caused. If he had not been surrounded by the MacLaren men and Fraser had not seen him in danger, perhaps Fraser would still be alive and would be sharing the moment with them, but today of all days was not the day to have wild thoughts again. He was supposed to be having fun, and he will not ruin the mildness of the day with bad feelings.
“Ava! Ye should come have yer food really; we will both fish together after the meal,” Callum shouted, glancing toward Ava who had dropped the hook and was now speeding toward him.
“I have yer word that ye will teach me how tae fish today after the meal?” Ava, asked, appearing before him with a stern expression on her little face.
“Aye, lass, ye have my word,” he said and pulled her close to him. Ava. The name was beautiful to call, as it suggested sweetness and pleasant memories. It fit the way she had looked when he had first seen her. He had just ridden back from the river with Fraser and had been informed of Gretchen’s labor. They had both been happy when the news came that the child was a baby girl. He had carried her in his arms, and as little as she was then, she had flashed him a coy child-like smile, and he was glad, glad, and since then he had been quite fond of her.
The lunch went quite well as Callum finished all the food, with just the chicken bones left on his plate. He glanced about, searching everyone’s eyes when his Mama’s face caught his.
“Like ye know what goes through my mind, the food was a relief tae the soul. I’d be glad tae eat all over again,” he said and glanced at Gretchen.
“There’s still enough food for my laird and fer everyone. We should be most grateful he is seated amidst us fer such a long time today,” Gretchen said and laughed.
“Uncle Callum! Let’s go the river and fish, I promised my friends bigger fish today, and I daen’t want tae disappoint them,” Ava said, clasping Callum’s hand and pulling him off from his seat. Callum rose and followed Ava to the river.
Gretchen and Merriam watched in admiration as Callum and Ava walked to the river, hand in hand. Ava looked so happy. Happier than she’d seen her since Fraser’s death. “He’s such a kindly laird,” The words slipped out from Gretchen’s mouth as she continued watching in admiration.
“Yes, he is. He had been kindly since he was yeng and tender. Only that he is strong-willed and gets angry at little things. I think he is overcoming that,” Merriam said, placing her hands on Gretchen’s. “One of these days, I wish ye both will stop yer pretenses and come together tae love, have new children and be happy together,” Merriam observed, giving Gretchen a wry look.
