I can’t do it! Lying in the bath she had been overwhelmed with panic. Meryn had made it sound easy – almost commonplace. Climb a mountain in the dark, find a time gate, go through, collect your grandfather, kill his psychotic ghost lover, then come back and live happily ever after! No problem!
‘Beth!’ The voice in her ear was gentle. ‘Beth, my darling.’ The lips were very warm on hers. Beth stretched and opened her eyes. The room was murky, the daylight outside obscured by mist.
‘Giles?’ She had been far away in her dreams, climbing the dark ridge near the stone. In the distance she could see her grandfather waiting. He had seen her and was holding out his arms towards her, desperately.
‘I’m back. My God it’s cold out there! It’s starting to snow. Ken insisted I stay all night. I tried to ring but the phone wasn’t switched on. I’m so sorry, I couldn’t get away. But I left as soon as I could. I couldn’t leave you up here on your own any longer.’
Beth sat up and reached for the switch on the bedside lamp. She picked up her watch and stared at it. It was nearly midday. ‘How is he?’ she asked groggily. Giles was sitting on her bed. There were ice crystals in his hair.
‘Miserable, of course, and very lonely. Losing Moira has shaken his faith.’
‘Poor man.’
She swung her legs out of the bed and reached for her dressing gown. ‘Giles, I missed you.’ She threw herself into his arms. ‘Oh God, I’ve missed you.’ She didn’t mention Meryn. Suddenly she was wondering if Meryn had been real.
‘And I missed you.’ He held her tightly. ‘What is it, Beth? What’s wrong? Have you heard anything from Liza?’
She shook her head. ‘Nothing. I’m just feeling a bit vulnerable.’
She couldn’t remember any of it. The words had gone. Everything Meryn had told her had gone.
Shivering, she slid to her feet and groped for her slippers. ‘Oh God, I want to go home. To Wales.’
‘Why don’t we? We don’t have to be here, Beth.’ Giles caught her hand. ‘You know that, don’t you? We could leave today. Well, tomorrow. Why don’t we? Why don’t we just go? Your grandfather is in good hands. We’re not doing anyone any good waiting here.’
Concentrate on what must be done …
‘Sweetheart, I love you. You do believe me now, don’t you?’ He was looking at her earnestly. ‘I’m getting a divorce. I mean it. And I’m not going back to London.’
‘Do you mean it?’
‘I mean it. Listen, Idina won’t contest the divorce. I know her. She’s bored with me and there is someone else now, thank God, to distract her. Damien is rich and famous – right up her street. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, my darling.’
Don’t let him sap your energy …
Beth stared at him, then slowly she reached up and kissed him on the lips. ‘We’ll go home soon. But first there is something I have to do. Later. After we’ve had a meal.’
They ate and then, at his insistence, they went upstairs to rest. She shouldn’t do it, she knew. She should be on her way, but surely half an hour could make no difference now?
It’s up to you, Beth … Meryn’s last words came back to her again suddenly … Don’t let him sap your energy … concentrate on what must be done …
He made love to her eagerly, his kisses tender, his hands first gentle, then rough with desire, and she lay still for a long time after he fell asleep, in the circle of his arms, safe, not wanting to move, not wanting to leave him ever again until at last she too fell asleep.
When she woke the room was dark. With a sense of shock she gently eased away from him and slid from the bed. She dressed quickly, pulling on two extra sweaters, then stooping quickly over him to drop one last kiss on his forehead she turned and made her way out onto the landing.
Downstairs, she dared to turn on the light and look at the clock. It was after six. The whole afternoon had gone. Frantic with hurry she pulled on her jacket and boots and picked up his car keys from the table. For a moment she hesitated, staring at the warm red glow from the stove. It represented at this moment all that was safe and solid in her life.
You need to be able to secure your family from harm … you must try to guide your grandfather home.
She had no option. She had to go.
Scribbling Giles a quick note, she let herself out into the ice-cold wind. She stood for a moment on the path, then she turned and gently pulled the door shut behind her.
Giles’s car was standing by the front door of the house. Glancing up at the darkened bedroom window she reached to unlock the door and threw her notebook, map and shoulderbag into the passenger seat. Gathering her jacket round her with a shiver she was about to get in when she heard a quiet growl.
She stared round in horror, then dived into the car head-first and slammed the door. Behind her in the house Giles slept on.
Peering through the windscreen, she slotted the key into the ignition. There was no sign of any movement. The track was a darker shade of white beyond the shadowy tree and beyond that there was a uniform wall of fog. Was it her imagination, or was the car still slightly warm from Giles’s drive back from Pittenross?
Where is A-dam?
The voice in her head was very clear. Her hand fell away from the ignition key.
Where is A-dam?
She stared round, frightened. Surely Brid could not be here, in the car? It was her overwrought imagination. She took a deep breath, forcing herself to breathe slowly, and deliberately put her hand on the key again. She turned it.
The engine misfired.
She gunned the accelerator, feeling sweat break out on the palms of her hands, and glanced up at the window, praying Giles would not wake up. She could not take him with her. This was something she had to do alone. This time the engine did not even turn over. It was dead. ‘No, please.’ She smacked the steering wheel with her hands. ‘Please, go, you stupid, bloody car!’ She tried a third time.
Why have you hurt A-dam? A-dam hates you.
The voice had a slight echo as though it were coming from a long way away, and yet she could hear it clearly – it was as though she were listening to a stereo whose batteries were dying.
A-dam hates you!
She battened her mind against Brid. Even the smallest thought would allow her a foothold inside Beth’s head. That could not happen. She had to keep focused, keep her circle of protection intact and strong. If she were sufficiently concentrated then she could not fail. Her life and Adam’s depended on her. ‘Leave me alone!’ This was not the time or place. She had to get to the stone. She had to find Adam. She tried the key again, wrenching it round, pressing the accelerator pedal to the floor. The car remained in total silence.
Where is A-dam? A-dam hates you!
‘Leave me alone. Go away! I don’t know where he is!’ She could feel her panic growing. It was becoming airless in the car, but she didn’t dare wind down the window. ‘Go away!’ Had she conjured Brid up herself? Why wouldn’t the car start? ‘Please, please, please God, let it start!’ She tried the key again, conscious of the strong smell of petrol rising from the flooded engine.
There was a clatter behind her and she turned her head in terror. Another slate had tumbled from the roof. It had smashed on the rough stones of the drive near her. She stared at it incredulously. There was no wind now. In the mist the night was very still.
Help me!
Had she said it out loud, or did she just think the words? She put her head on her hands on the wheel and took a deep breath. Then she turned the key again. The engine started. She closed her eyes and breathed a quick prayer of thanks, then backed out of the driveway and headed back down the mountain road.
Behind her the cat stood for a moment on the track, swishing its tail with irritation. Then it turned and it vanished into the mist.
Beth drew up in the lay-by at the foot of the mountain track and sat for a moment staring out at the trees illuminated in the headlights. She was more scared than she had ever b
een in her life. Turning them off, she swallowed hard. She waited a moment for her eyes to grow used to the dark and to summon up her courage, then, cautiously, she pushed the door open and swung her feet out. The air was very cold. The low cloud had lifted momentarily, drifting off out of sight and she could see the stars so close she felt she could reach out and touch them. The broad sweep of the Milky Way lay like a diaphanous gauze shawl overhead, and in the distance, between the shoulders of two hills, she could see Orion appearing over the horizon. She pushed the car door closed quietly and locked it, then she turned towards the path, seeing her own breath a cloud of white in front of her as she began to walk into the darkness.
Where is A-dam?
She stopped, terrified. The woods were very quiet. Think. Think of the things Meryn had taught her. Draw the veil of protection around her.
And slowly force herself to move on.
‘What if he dies, Ivor?’
Liza was sitting in the back of the ambulance, watching over Adam as the vehicle drove steadily north towards Pittenross.
‘That will be my responsibility, not yours. I signed the forms.’ He smiled at her encouragingly. ‘He will die if he stays in hospital. This is his only chance. If it were summer, I would say we should get him up to the stone where it all started, but in this weather – well, at least here he is nearby. Wherever he is, he might think to come looking at home. And we shall leave him a sign.’
‘How?’
He smiled again. ‘That is your department. He told me you were psychic. Now is the time to prove it!’
It had taken a lot of persuasion to get the hospital authorities to allow Adam to go home for two or three days. Only Ivor Furness’s reputation, and Liza’s not quite true claim that she was next of kin and could sign any disclaimers necessary finally persuaded his consultant that there was nothing to lose by the experiment. If he had known they were considering for one instant taking their patient up a mountain and leaving him at the foot of a Pictish symbol stone they would have been certified on the spot. In the event the weather was so bad, Liza was not sure they should even be taking him back to Shieling House.
‘Will she come to him?’
Liza shrugged. ‘But it’s not him, is it?’
Ivor bent and put his hand on Adam’s forehead, then he took hold of his wrist and felt his pulse. ‘It’s the same. Weak but steady.’ He straightened. ‘It would be very interesting to meet Brid again. I always thought she trusted me, but I can’t be sure. So, how are you going to send our two travellers a message?’
Liza shrugged. ‘I wish I knew more about this. I think the only way is telepathically. Perhaps I should go to the stone first?’
‘You’re not afraid?’ He looked at her shrewdly.
She raised an eyebrow. ‘Yes, I’m afraid. I’m terrified. All I want to do is scoot back to Italy to my lovely down-to-earth husband and hide behind him with a bottle of Chianti in the autumn sunshine. But I can’t, can I?’ She stooped and kissed Adam’s forehead. It was very cold.
Her eyes screwed up against the freezing weather, Beth plodded on. Forcing herself to take every step, she kept her mind focused resolutely on Adam. She needed to find him. Nothing else mattered. She did not let herself think beyond that. The track was getting steeper and she was out of breath, but she could not allow herself to be distracted by the weakness of her own body. Cold and fear would debilitate her, make her vulnerable. She had to be strong.
She shone her torch ahead of her on the path, her throat tight with apprehension, waves of nausea flooding through her as she listened to the burn rushing down the rocks on her right, and heard the hiss of sleet on the branches of the trees. Keep the circle strong. She peered round nervously. Had the cat followed her? But there was no sign of the cat; no sound of anything at all up there on the hillside with her. She had never felt more alone.
Somehow she forced herself to keep climbing. Only once she stopped to catch her breath, hearing the blood pounding in her ears. Away to her right she could see the flash of water as the burn tipped over a rockface and turned to spray as it tumbled over the falls. Don’t listen. Don’t let your attention wander. Remember Meryn. Keep him there with her, a talisman within her circle of protection. The ground was levelling out now and she could feel the strength of the wind increasing. Once again the clouds had raced away, leaving the sky clear and frosty with glittering stars.
She could feel it now, the strength of the place beneath her feet as she drew nearer to the stone. She stopped, shocked, and immediately felt herself waver. There must be no emotion; no fear, no anger. She must remain calm and resolute. She stepped forward, off the track into the longer grass, and straightened her shoulders. There was nothing to fear, but fear itself. Who had said that? Some American. Was it Roosevelt? Never mind, keep it in her head firmly like a mantra. No fear. Just calm and strength.
She could see the stone itself now, standing windswept and free on the mountainside. Cautiously she stepped closer. She could feel the power coming off it in waves. It was conducting the special earth energies up from deep in the rocks beneath it, the energies which enabled the fabric of time to thin and distort enough for people to slip in and out. Beyond that spot time and space were flexible, anomalous and infinite.
Her mouth dry, she raised her hands and laid them on the stone so she could feel it, feel the power vibrating through it, will it into her body, feel it pouring up through her feet, through the palms of her hands, down into the top of her head. There was no wind to speak of now but the clouds were coming back, drifting up the broad valley below her, cutting off her view of the distant starlit mountains, circling lazily round the bushes, coming ever closer. In a moment it would be there. She took a deep breath. There was a formula Meryn had given her, a few simple words in Welsh to take her across the border. She frowned, not sure suddenly that she could remember them, then not giving herself time to think she began to recite out loud, quietly at first, then louder, hearing her voice ring out into the wind, and slowly she dropped onto her knees in the frozen mud as the fog closed in and she felt time itself take her.
Giles woke with a start. He sat up groggily. ‘Beth?’ The space beside him was empty. The house was silent. ‘Beth, where are you?’ He stared round the room. It was dark. Frowning, he brought his wrist up to his face and looked at his watch. He had been asleep for hours. ‘Beth?’
Worried, he searched the house, then he opened the front door and glanced out. The mist seemed to have lifted a bit and now he could see quite clearly the track and even the first tree on the mound by the bend. His car had gone. Puzzled, he walked back into the cottage, closing the door. Only then did he spot the note on the kitchen table. He picked it up and read it: Gone to the stone to look for Adam. Don’t worry. I know what I’m doing. Love you always, B.
Giles let out a groan. ‘Silly, silly woman! Oh God, why did I fall asleep?’ He ran back into the living room.
The mist was clearing fast. He could see the hedges now through the window, and the small garden in the starlight, the twisted crab apple tree and the thorn. It was very quiet. He shivered.
He had to follow her, somehow. A car. Any car. Adam’s car. It was locked in the shed behind the house where it had stood since Adam had been taken to hospital. The keys. Where were the keys? He began to search frantically, first Adam’s desk, then the table, the kitchen, then upstairs on the table in Adam’s bedroom. No sign. ‘Christ!’ He was growing frantic. He was marooned here, with the sleet outside turning to snow and there was nothing he could do.
Pulling on his coat and boots he flung open the back door and made his way down the path. He had some faint notion of trying to hotwire the car after breaking down the door of the shed, but the door was not locked. Pulling it open he edged in along the narrow space between the small blue car and the lathe walls of the building and took hold of the car’s door handle. The door opened. The keys were still in the ignition.
It took three goes to start it, then at last he was
able to back it out, the engine coughing and sputtering, in a cloud of exhaust fumes. Turning on the headlights he glanced down at the petrol gauge, saw that the tank was half full and breathing a small prayer of thanks for that one small mercy, he reversed on out of the narrow gate and turned to hurtle down the mountain road. He had not thought to stop long enough even to lock the door of the house.
His own car was where Beth had left it, tucked into the hedge on the edge of the lay-by and he drew up behind it, leaping out and pulling on his coat as he set off at a run towards the track. The mist was returning and almost at once he lost his bearings, focusing as hard as he could on the barely marked path at his feet. He cursed his own stupidity. He had forgotten even to bring a torch.
He had a stitch and he was breathing heavily as he lumbered on up the steep track. His injured arm still ached as he swung it, and he could feel the needles of sleet in his face. Stop, retrace, careful. He had lost the path. He glanced round frantically, then he saw it again ahead of him, beside the burn, barely more than a track in the intense darkness.
‘There’s no one here.’ Liza had returned to the ambulance after walking round the back of the house. ‘The back door is unlocked and the place is reasonably warm, but there is no sign of Giles or Beth. The trouble is they may not be expecting us. I never got through, even though I left about six messages on Giles’s mobile.’
‘Can we bring him in?’ Ivor was sitting with Adam in the back of the ambulance. With him was the driver and a nurse they had engaged for the journey.
Liza nodded. ‘I’ve opened the front door. You can take him up to his bedroom straightaway. I’m sure the other two will be back soon.’
It was only after Adam had been settled at last in his own bed, and the ambulance had driven away that Liza found Beth’s note lying on the kitchen table where Giles had thrown it. She stared at Ivor, white-faced. ‘Beth’s gone to the stone.’
On the Edge of Darkness Page 56
