by J. L. Wilder
What had happened to him? Was this the result of living under Hawk’s thumb? If his authority had affected Weston this badly, Charity certainly didn’t like her chances.
But maybe it wasn’t Hawk. Maybe Weston had been so badly affected by her. Maybe this was all the result of her leaving him.
No. It couldn’t be that. She shook away the thought. She was overestimating her own importance. Yes, they’d loved each other. Yes, they’d hoped for a future together. But when she’d left, he would have healed. He would have moved on. And besides, if he’d felt that badly about it, wouldn’t he have come after her? He was a wonderful tracker. He could have found her if he’d wanted to.
The door opened and Gino leaned back in. “Hey, guys. Everything going all right in here?”
“Fine,” Weston said shortly.
“I brought you some lasagna.” Sure enough, he had two plates in his hands. He passed them over to Weston. “Norma’s. She says help yourself to more if you’re hungry.”
“Neither of us can leave this room, Gino,” Weston pointed out.
“Oh. Right. Well, maybe I’ll come back and check?”
“Don’t worry about it. This is plenty. You got forks?”
“Yeah.” Gino handed them over. “So... Charity. You’re an omega, huh?” He gave her a lewd grin.
Charity hugged her knees to her chest and didn’t answer.
“Lay off, Gino,” Weston said.
Gino laughed. “What’s with you?”
“She’s Hawk’s,” Weston said. “We can’t be looking at her like that.”
“Oh, calm down, I’m not going to touch her,” Gino said. “There’s nothing wrong with looking. And she grew up very pretty. Don’t you think so? Come on, you can’t tell me you wouldn’t like a taste.”
“You’re being gross, Gino.”
“What’s wrong, you aren’t attracted to her? I don’t believe that for a minute. She’s practically radiating sex. Hell, I could smell her from a block away. Why do you think she was so easy to find?”
Charity shivered. She and Gino had never been close as teens—he had always been one of the boys who’d yelled at her and at the other girls as they’d walked by, offering perverted suggestions for things they’d like to see the girls do.
But there had always been a sense of playfulness about it back then. Charity hadn’t appreciated the way the boys had talked to her, but she had understood that it was a game. They were doing it to impress each other. In a way, Charity had known, it wasn’t really about her at all.
This felt different. The things Gino was saying about her now felt true. Maybe it was because Weston was so clearly unimpressed that it couldn’t possibly be for his benefit. Maybe it was because of the way Gino was undressing her with his eyes. It felt like she was an object rather than the friend and packmate he’d known since childhood.
And she wasn’t even here for his benefit. She was supposed to be mated to Hawk. Weston was absolutely right to object to the way Gino was looking at her, the way he was talking about her.
Wasn’t he?
What if Gino knew something Weston didn’t?
What if Hawk wouldn’t mind this?
God, was it possible that Hawk was intending to share her?
She had heard of alphas doing that, of course. They had the power since any command they gave had to be obeyed. Some alphas felt that the more an omega was bred, the more babies would be born, and the better it would be for the pack. That was a valid idea, and Charity knew that some omegas enjoyed having several lovers, breeding for the pack as a whole.
But she didn’t want to mate with any of them. That was the whole reason she’d left! She had expected to be forced into a relationship with Hawk now—that was bad enough—but if it was more than just him? If it was all of them?
Life wouldn’t be worth living.
She felt shivery and nauseous and like she might start crying again, and she really didn’t want to do that in front of Gino. She looked down at her plate of lasagna, swallowing hard, but that didn’t help. This lasagna had been made for her by Norma. Norma, who loved her like a mother. Norma, who couldn’t save her.
Nobody could save her.
“Drop it, Gino,” Weston said. “Leave us in peace to eat.”
A moment later the door shut. Charity peeked up through eyelashes that were sticking together and saw that Gino had left the room.
“Jesus,” Weston muttered. “The mouth on him.”
“Did he mean all that?” Charity whispered.
“I don’t know if he meant it or not,” Weston said, glancing at her. “I know Hawk would never let him do it. You don’t have to worry about it.”
She nodded, trying to compose herself. His response hadn’t been warm, exactly, but there was understanding there, and for the first time Charity had the feeling that Weston didn’t want her to be afraid. Maybe he hadn’t changed so much after all. Maybe the man she’d known was still in there somewhere.
She was too upset to eat her lasagna, as good as it looked, and Weston didn’t seem to be feeling much better. He only picked at his. There had been a time when Charity would have asked him what was wrong, when the two of them would have talked for hours about the things that worried them, completely opening up to each other. There was a time when they’d made plans together. But Charity knew those days were over. She had made the biggest plan of her life without him. Even if he could have, he wouldn’t want to help her now.
It was a hard realization, but eventually, it occurred to Charity that she wished he wasn’t here at all.
She would rather never have seen him again than to see him like this—working with Hawk, helping him keep her captive. She hadn’t wanted to tell Weston when she’d realized she was the omega, but that had been for his sake, not because she had been afraid he’d turn her in. But maybe he would have, she thought. He certainly seems like he cares more about the pack than about me. Maybe that means he cares more about Hawk’s wellbeing than about mine.
Maybe.
There was another knock at the door. This time, Weston got to his feet and opened it.
For several seconds, Charity didn’t even recognize the tall blonde man on the other side. Then, suddenly, the memory clunked into place. “Holy shit. Robbie?”
“Hi Charity.” Robbie smiled at her.
She stared at him in open disbelief. The Robbie she had known had been—well, not short and fat, exactly, but definitely of a modest height with a layer of pudge obscuring his muscles. He’d been ruddy-faced and had had hair that came down past his ears.
The man before her couldn’t have looked more different. His hair was short—not as short as Gino’s and Hawk’s, but short enough that it no longer curled. His face was still reddish, but now the bone structure was defined, as was the shape of his muscles. Most significantly, he seemed to have grown about a foot and a half.
He turned to Weston. “I’m not bringing you any whiskey,” he said. “You can forget it.”
“You know I’m stuck here with her all night, don’t you?” Weston said.
“I know. I already asked Hawk if I could spell you in a few hours. He said no.”
“He’s not onto us, is he?”
“I don’t think so,” Robbie said. “It didn’t seem like that. I think he’s just wanting to give you a hard time, honestly.”
“Sounds like him. Come on, just bring me something. I’m going out of my gourd here.”
“You drink too much, Weston.”
Did he? That was new. The Weston she’d known—well, he’d never had a drink, of course. He had been too young. But he had never seemed very interested in it either. In fact, Charity could recall a few separate instances in which he’d told her stories of Hawk and the boys daydreaming about drinking for the first time, and he’d always rolled his eyes at the idea. He’d seemed to be above it.
“Can we not do this tonight?” Weston asked. “Just...just give me a break about it. Just for tonight. You can give me
hell tomorrow if you want.”
“I don’t want to,” Robbie said.
“I know. I didn’t mean it like that. But you get where I’m coming from.”
Robbie sighed. “Yeah, I do. Fine, I’ll get you a bottle. But try to cut yourself off, will you?”
“Yeah.”
Robbie disappeared.
“What did you mean by onto us?” Charity asked Weston.
“Nothing. Don’t worry about it.”
“Did you mean onto us? Like you and me?”
“Don’t be stupid. There is no us.”
He was right, but it still stung to hear him say it like that. “Does Robbie know? I mean, that we used to be...?”
“Why do you care all of a sudden?”
“I always cared, Weston.”
“Did you? Did you care when you ran away without even telling me you were going? Funny way of showing it.”
“For God’s sake! I had to go!” she cried. “You can’t seriously think it’s what I wanted? I was living in a homeless shelter! I left my entire family behind. I had nothing. And to learn how to live as a human—it’s a whole new way of life, and it never stopped being strange and uncomfortable. It never fit. It was never what I wanted. I left because if I stayed here Hawk would have controlled me. The writing was on the wall. He was obviously going to be the alpha, and I couldn’t just stay here and let him have me! I couldn’t!” She was having trouble breathing. “I can’t believe you’re holding it against me. I never thought you would. You of all people—I thought you’d be happy I was safe, Weston. I thought you’d be glad I got away. I never expected you to call it selfish!”
He was quiet for a long moment.
“And you helped them,” she added, anxiety twanging through her. “You helped them find me and bring me back.”
“No,” he said. “I didn’t do that.”
“What do you mean?”
“They thought I helped. I didn’t. I went looking for you on my own...I was going to warn you.”
“You said you knew where I was.”
“I didn’t find out where you worked until today,” he said. “A few hours ago. I tracked you down. I was going to come back during your shift tomorrow and let you know Hawk was on the hunt for you, but...”
“But Gino found me first.”
“Yeah.”
“So, you didn’t know where I was all this time.”
“What if I had?” he asked brusquely. “Was I supposed to come looking for you?”
“I don’t know. Not...supposed to. I guess...” She looked down at her hands. It was hard to admit to this. “I guess a part of me hoped you would, that’s all. It took me a long time to stop jumping at every sound, hoping you’d found me.”
“I wasn’t looking for you, Charity. Not back then.”
Her stomach dropped.
“Why would I have?” he went on. “You made it pretty clear you didn’t want me.”
“How?”
“What do you mean, how? You left.”
“What the hell else was I supposed to do?”
“You were supposed to tell me you were going,” he said. “You were supposed to...I don’t know...ask me to come with you. There was no reason not to talk to me before you left. I know you had to run away from Hawk, but you didn’t have to run away from me.”
“I did have to,” she protested.
“But why?”
“Because what if you’d done something stupid? Don’t make that face at me. I know you didn’t want me ending up with Hawk. What if you’d challenged him to a fight or something? And what if you’d lost? I couldn’t have stood that, Weston. It would have killed me. I couldn’t let you die for me.”
The fear of that night came rushing back. She had lain in bed, knowing she had to leave, waiting for all the others to fall asleep, and the only thing in the world she’d wanted was Weston. Weston’s hand in hers, Weston’s lips on hers, Weston’s reassuring voice promising her that everything would be all right.
She had known that night that she had to leave without telling him. That it was the best way to protect him.
But now he was looking at her as if he didn’t even recognize her.
“I wouldn’t have started a fight,” he said quietly. “I’m smarter than that, Charity. I’d never fight if there was another choice.”
“What other choice was there?”
“I would have come with you,” he said. “We could have left together.”
She was stunned.
“You wouldn’t have,” she whispered.
“Of course, I would. Of course, I would.”
“You wouldn’t have left the pack. You just said so. You’re angry with me for leaving because it made everyone else realize they could leave too. You’d never have abandoned them.” That had to be true. She couldn’t believe he would have gone with her, that they could have been together all this time. It was too much to bear.
“You didn’t ask me,” he said. “You didn’t even trust me enough to ask me.”
He was right. She had been so sure that she’d known what he would say. What he would do. She hadn’t trusted him to listen to her. She hadn’t trusted that they’d be able to make a decision together.
Did that make it her fault they’d been apart all these years?
Robbie returned before she could say anything. He had a bottle of dark rum in his hand, and he handed it to Weston. “It’s all I could find,” he said.
“Bet it isn’t.”
“Fine, it’s not, but it’s what I’m giving you. Take it or leave it.”
“I’ll take it.”
Robbie looked over at Charity. “I know this is weird,” he said, “and I don’t expect you to feel the same way. But I’m glad you’re back, Charity. It’s really good to see you again.”
“It’s good to see you again, Robbie,” she said and found, to her surprise and gratification, that it was true.
He gave her a little smile and withdrew from the room.
“Yeah,” Weston said, out of nowhere.
“Yeah what?”
“Yeah, Robbie knows about us.”
Hearing the word, us from him was balm on the sting of his having denied their relationship. “You told him?”
“I had to tell somebody. I was going crazy. I half thought I’d imagined the whole thing, Charity. It didn’t make sense. I couldn’t understand how you could just decide to leave without even talking to me. I couldn’t have done that to you. It felt like you must have never really loved me at all.”
“That isn’t true,” she said. “I always loved you, Weston. It broke my heart to leave.”
He sighed and took a long swig of his drink.
“You believe me, don’t you?”
“I don’t know,” he said. “I don’t know if I can.”
“Why?”
“Because what if it is all a lie?”
“It isn’t.”
“I was crazy about you,” he said. “I would have done anything for you back then. Running away from the pack would have been nothing. I would have fought Hawk, if it came down to it, but I would much rather have gotten away with you. All I wanted was for us to be together. Do you think you’re the only one who thought about what would happen if you were the omega? I wasn’t going to let him hurt you.”
“Then...then will you help me get away now?” she asked, feeling a spark of hope.
“You know I can’t do it now,” he said. “I would have done it already. We have orders. I’ve got to keep you in this room. I can’t go against that. I physically can’t do it. I would, Charity. No matter how I feel personally, this was never what I wanted.”
“But you can’t.”
“But I can’t.”
Weston took another long drink. Charity crawled up onto her bed and lay flat on her back, staring at the ceiling and pondering. Was it possible that Weston was telling the truth? Would he have run away with her back in the day if she had asked him? She had been so young back then
, so unsure of everything. Weston’s love had felt almost magical, too good to be true, and if she was being honest with herself, she had been afraid to put it to the test.
But maybe there was still hope for her. Maybe together—if they could learn to trust each other—they could figure out a way to work around Hawk’s cruel edicts and find a life they could bear to live.
She clung carefully to that idea, letting it reassure her and ease her fear until finally, she was able to sleep.
Chapter Nine
WESTON
“Weston?”
He blinked. The light was coming in through the open door, and Robbie was leaning through it once again. “Um. Hey.”
“Breakfast’s ready.” Robbie frowned. “Were you sleeping?”
“No. No way.” He couldn’t have been. He’d been ordered to stay awake. But he did have the sort of foggy feeling in his head that came along with being woken up out of a deep slumber. He thought back. What had he been doing before Robbie had come into the room? The last thing he could remember was watching Charity as she lay on her back, breathing deeply, falling asleep—
He looked over at her. She was lying on her side now, facing away from him. When had that happened?
He was thoroughly spooked. He shouldn’t have been able to fall asleep. It should have been physically impossible after being ordered by Hawk to stay awake all night.
Unless...had he been ordered? He tried to think back. He remembered feeling frustrated because he’d been given an order, and that wasn’t an easy thing to mistake. But then again, it had been an order not to do something, not an order to do something. He wouldn’t have felt the weight of such an order unless he’d tried to fall asleep. So maybe he’d misjudged what Hawk was saying. Maybe he had interpreted it as an order when it had really just been advice or something.
That had to be it.
Still, he wasn’t sure he quite felt comfortable admitting the truth to Robbie. “I was just resting my eyes,” he said.
“Oh,” Robbie said doubtfully. “Okay. Well, I’m supposed to tell you that you can go to breakfast. It’s my turn to watch Charity.”
“What’s the plan?” Weston asked. “Are we just...keeping her in here forever? Because that’s crazy.”
