by Amanda Renee
“That’s why this is such a wonderful opportunity for you. Besides, his parolee program is already full. This is a volunteer position, a few hours a week and it will help rebuild your image, so to speak.”
“My image?” Ryder didn’t like the turn their conversation had taken. “How would that work? No one would know I was working or volunteering there.”
“We would have to tell them. Tori, Nate, Harlan. Even me.”
“It sounds like a PR stunt.” One everyone would see through.
“A stunt usually benefits one party. This is a worthy cause. Those kids could use your expertise.”
Maybe so, but the situation stunk of manipulation. “How did you find this program?”
“One of the senior partners at my firm represented a parolee there last year. I remembered the place and thought it would be a terrific way to show people you’re giving back to society. My boss made a phone call, and I rode out there today and—”
“Whoa!” The realization why she had the sudden urge to help him hit him harder than his brother’s punch. “This has nothing to do with me, does it? Your reputation took a hit the other night, and this is how you want to fix it.”
She glared at him without a word. Could he have been any more of an ass? Instead of giving her the benefit of the doubt, he automatically assumed the worst.
“My reputation took a hit the day people saw you and me together in town.”
Okay, he hadn’t expected that. “Then why did you dance with me Saturday night? You should have told me, and I would’ve understood.”
“Because I won’t allow anyone to dictate who I can spend my time with. And before you get all riled up again...no, I didn’t dance with you to be rebellious. I’m attracted to you and I want to get to know you better. Although, your attitude today might make me change my mind.”
This was the exact reason why he shouldn’t be in a relationship right now. He wasn’t ready. Five and a half years in prison had changed him. It would change anyone. He didn’t know how to act without reacting anymore. He’d had to compartmentalize every emotion to protect himself and he’d forgotten how to let anyone in.
“Maybe I’m overreacting...a little. You caught me off guard. Give me Drew’s phone number, I’ll call and see what he has to say. But I don’t want you or anyone running around town talking about it. If people find out on their own that’s fine. Shamelessly force-feeding it into the Saddle Ridge gossip mill is the last thing I want or need. I’ll run it past Tori.”
“She’s already on board with it,” she said matter-of-factly as if he should’ve already known.
And he would have if she hadn’t gone behind his back. “How many people did you involve in this before discussing it with me?” A little help was one thing, this bordered on overstepping. “I appreciate the effort, but you should have consulted me first.”
She opened her mouth to respond, then snapped it shut. He could tell she wanted to argue with him. It was painfully obvious. So was the truth. “I apologize. You’re right, I just hate the way everyone looks at you.”
“Do you? Or do you hate the way everyone looks at you when you’re with me?”
“Both.”
Ryder hadn’t expected her to answer so fast. “Chelsea, I’m flattered you’ve taken the time to do this for me.” Ryder didn’t want to sound ungrateful, but he didn’t want to be her pet project either. “I appreciate everything, but please don’t do this again. I’m still trying to figure out why you’re risking your reputation. You need to accept me for who I am now. Not who you want me to be tomorrow. Besides, you have a little improvement of your own to do.”
“Excuse me? What is that supposed to mean?” Her foot tapped again.
Ryder cursed himself for not keeping that last part to himself. “You told me the other night you don’t get out much. You need to make time. Forget the picture-perfect image you seem to compete with, and just be you.”
“Where the hell do you get off? I have a child to raise on my own. I can’t just hire any babysitter off the street, and even if I could, I wouldn’t leave my daughter home like that.”
“I’m not saying you should go out every night, Chelsea. There are other sitters besides Tori. I’m sure the school or other parents can provide you with a list. Besides, doesn’t Peyton spend any time with her friends at sleepovers or the movies? Times when you’re not with her.”
“Yes, but I usually have work to catch up on,” she mumbled.
“Your dedication is honorable, but I’d like to see you let your hair down.” Just as much as he’d love to run his fingers through it. And bury his face in her—
“That makes me sound uptight.” The foot stopped.
“I’m not saying you’re uptight, but I don’t think I’ve seen the real you.” The little voice inside his head told Ryder to shut up. To stick with the original plan and keep her away from him. The pounding in his heart told him otherwise. “I want to see you cut loose and have fun.”
“I thought that’s what we did Saturday night.” Chelsea crossed her arms, shielding herself from the words he couldn’t manage to get right.
“We did, up to a point. I’d like to see more of that side of you.”
“Are you asking me out again?”
Ryder wanted to say no. To tell her he was making a generalized statement and she should go on a few dates, with anyone other than him. But the thought of her with another man—even if it was just on the dance floor—devastated him.
“I guess I am. But not in public.” Ryder kicked at the dirt. “I realize that sounds horrible. You deserve to go out to a nice restaurant, not that I can afford one. You deserve to be with someone who can show you off and take you to all the places your friends go. I can’t offer that. I can take you hiking and horseback riding, or to the movies in another town. You shouldn’t risk being seen with me, though. And as much as I would love to include your daughter, I don’t think she should be around me. She’ll tell her friends and they’ll tell their parents and one way or the other it will affect you both. When it comes down to it, I can’t offer you anything.”
“How about we start with friendship?” She took both of his hands in hers and gave them a gentle squeeze. “You’re putting way too much pressure on yourself. I would like to tell you I don’t care what other people think because in many ways I don’t. But I do when it involves my daughter. Especially after the other night. That’s why I want you to talk to Drew.”
“Why do you care so much?” And for that matter why did he care what she thought of him? They were still strangers. They didn’t owe each other anything.
“I haven’t figured that out yet. When I do, you’ll be the first to know.”
“Is it wrong of me to want to kiss you?” Ryder hoped the question didn’t scare her as much as the prospect of kissing her terrified him.
Chelsea glanced over her shoulder toward Tori’s house, then up at him. “Only if it’s wrong of me to want you to. But I don’t think we should. Not here. Not when my daughter may be watching us from inside.”
Ryder released her hands and stepped back. “You’re absolutely right.” At least she’d let him down gently.
“I’m in no hurry. We have plenty of time.” She gnawed on her bottom lip as if she wanted to say more. “I’ll text you Drew’s information. I should get back to Peyton.”
“Yeah, I still have a lot to do here before the sun sets.” Ryder didn’t know how to say goodbye. He knew he had to, but there was so much more he wanted to say. Chelsea was right. They were in no hurry. They had time. Plenty of time. “We’ll talk soon.”
“I look forward to it. Bye.” She hesitated for a second before turning away.
Ryder wanted to watch her leave. Lord knows it was a gorgeous view. But if he did, he would chase after her. He willed himself to walk away without a second glance. And damned if it wasn’t o
ne of the hardest things he’d ever done. Chelsea Logan had not only gotten under his skin, she was slowly coursing through his veins toward his heart. Intoxicating and addictive, she left him wanting more every time they parted.
He was in trouble. Definite trouble.
* * *
It had been almost a week since Chelsea saw or even spoke with Ryder. Tori had told her he’d adjusted his schedule somewhat this past week so he could meet with Drew at the Bloodworth Ranch in the early evenings. That was great, but she would’ve preferred hearing the news from Ryder considering she’d set the whole thing up.
Chelsea grabbed the remote for the lamp in Peyton’s bedroom and pressed the button repeatedly to get her attention. Today was their first day volunteering at the Free Rein Wild Horse and Donkey Sanctuary and she didn’t want to be late. Getting Peyton up and out the door during the week was always difficult, but on weekends it was next to impossible. This being a Sunday, she’d have her work cut out for her to be on time.
Chelsea sat on the bottom step and slid on her tennis shoes. Tori had texted her last night with very specific instructions on what she should wear...not Peyton. Workout leggings, a tank top or sports bra, a fleece jacket and sneakers she didn’t mind getting dirty. Why? All the times she’d seen Tori at the ranch, the woman had been in jeans and cowboy boots. Chelsea had never been a fan of leggings outside of the gym, and unfortunately for her backside, she hadn’t seen the inside of a gym in quite some time. Tori hadn’t mentioned a T-shirt and Chelsea figured they’d get the yellow shirts the rest of the volunteers wore. Nevertheless, she threw one on over her tank top. She also grabbed a pair of wool gloves from the mudroom and an extra jacket for both herself and Peyton to be on the safe side.
She’d hoped Tori would have put them together, but that didn’t appear to be the case. The only thing Tori had told her was that Ryder wouldn’t be there today, which may be a good thing considering she hadn’t heard from him all week. Of course, she could’ve picked up the phone and called him, but that seemed desperate. Especially after he’d told her she needed some self-improvement. As angry as it had made her, she couldn’t exactly disagree.
She didn’t mind accepting babysitting help from Tori or her parents for those few hours after school until her workday finished each day, but it bothered her to dump Peyton off on someone else just so she could have downtime. She envied the mothers who maintained an active social life while raising their kids. And she equally criticized them. When it came to her clients, she preached the benefits of a balanced life and never let them feel guilty for taking time for themselves. Yet she hadn’t found that balance for herself. She took pride in being a hands-on mom. Probably too much because lately, she missed adult companionship. Sure, she had some kid-free moments outside of work, but nothing had compared to dancing with Ryder the other night.
Peyton stomped down the stairs, tearing the picture of him from Chelsea’s thoughts. “Mommy, it’s too early.”
Chelsea didn’t bother reprimanding her for not signing. It was too early. When she had volunteered, she’d figured on something in the afternoon. Not seven o’clock in the morning.
“I know it is, sweetheart. But don’t you want to see Jam Jam and Marmalade?”
“I see them every day.” Peyton rolled her eyes.
Chelsea would rather argue a case in court than try to reason with a nine-year-old. “Look at it this way...every day you work with the animals is one day closer to becoming a veterinarian. Think of it like an internship.”
Peyton appeared to consider her statement before shrugging. “I guess.”
“I hate to break it to you, but if you want to become an equine vet, you better do more than guess. A job like that involves a lot of on-call work. You’ll be on the road all hours of the day and night. Not just when you want to.” Some people would argue that Chelsea placed too much stress on Peyton developing a strong work ethic at this age, but it had been something her father had instilled in her since she could walk. Her daughter had more obstacles to overcome than the typical veterinarian school-bound kid. Especially when she would have to focus on her interpreter during labs and presentations.
“Fine.” Peyton trudged out to the car and slammed the door closed.
And some days her daughter was a typical child, complete with attitude.
They drove to the ranch in silence. Chelsea hadn’t known what to expect today, but she hadn’t expected to see so many people already there. In the rearview mirror, she saw Peyton sit up straighter in the back seat as they parked. “Are they all volunteers too?”
Chelsea twisted to face her, looking forward to the day her daughter was tall enough to ride up front, so they could talk easier in the car. “Yes. Anyone in a yellow shirt is a volunteer. You’ve seen a few of them when Mrs. James needed help during the week.”
“Do I get a T-shirt too?” Peyton asked as they got out of the car. “The donkey on them looks like Jam Jam.”
“Maybe if you ask Mrs. James nicely, she’ll let you have one. I’m not sure where I’ll be today, so do whatever you’re told. Okay?”
Peyton stared at her. “You mean just like every day when I’m here and you’re not.”
“Lose the attitude, please. This isn’t like every other day. There are more people around. People who don’t know sign language. You stay alert and with Mrs. James.”
Chelsea’s nerves kicked in. Peyton needed to spend more time outside of the deaf community but that didn’t mean Chelsea was ready for it.
Nor was she ready to see Ryder leaning against Nate’s Jeep...waiting. For who? Her? He was supposed to be at the Bloodworth Ranch.
“I have such an exciting day planned for us.” Tori ran up to them and gave Peyton a hug. “You girls are coming with me on prospective adoptee home inspections.”
“They are?” Chelsea asked, not sure how she felt about Tori taking her child to strangers’ houses.
Tori looked up. “I’m sorry, I should’ve asked you first since I’m taking them off the ranch. When I say homes, I don’t mean actual houses. We’ll be visiting a few ranches and making sure they’re suitable for the rescues.”
“It’s fine.” Chelsea swallowed down her apprehension. “You remember what I said earlier. You do everything Mrs. James tells you.”
“I will. Bye, Mom.” Peyton gave her a half hug goodbye and signed with Missy.
“I remember when she never wanted to let go. Now I’m the one with the separation anxiety.”
“If you rather I don’t take them today, I can have Nate do the inspections.”
“No, it’s fine. It will be good for her to see other ranches.” Chelsea glanced over at the Jeep. Yep, Ryder was still there. “I thought he was working at the Bloodworth Ranch on weekends.”
“Just on Wednesday afternoons and Saturday mornings. They worked out a schedule that doesn’t interfere much with his work here. Makes me feel kind of guilty for biting your head off about it last week.”
“It’s all good. What am I doing today since you gave me such a specific wardrobe to wear?”
“Oh, those instructions didn’t come from me. Ryder sent you that message.”
“Why does he care what I wear?”
“Because you’ll be with him all day.” Tori beamed.
Chelsea’s mouth went dry as her hands began to sweat. “And what exactly are Ryder and I doing today?”
“You’ll have to ask him.” Tori wrapped her arms around both girls’ shoulders and ushered them toward her truck. “Have fun.”
Chelsea made a mental note to strangle Tori this evening. Because whatever Ryder had planned she wasn’t prepared for it. She forced herself to face the man waiting for her. She didn’t know how she’d missed it earlier, but he wasn’t wearing his trademark cowboy hat. Instead he had on a navy blue Free Rein ball cap. And instead of jeans, he had on jet-black running pants that emphasiz
ed the corded muscles in his thighs and calves. She had no idea beneath his jeans there were legs built like a racehorse. And she couldn’t help but wonder what else on him was built like a racehorse. She cleared her throat as her eyes traveled up his body...to his fleece jacket. She didn’t want to see fleece. She wanted to see a six-pack and arms of steel. Now that she knew what the legs looked like, she needed to see more.
Ryder followed her eyes. “I’m sorry, don’t I meet your approval?”
“Since when do you need anyone’s approval?” She fought to keep her eyes above his waist.
“Since your frown rivals the Gateway Arch in St. Louis? I know this isn’t the most flattering outfit, but it’s appropriate for where we’re going.”
“Not that you deserve the ego boost for this little machination this morning, but let’s just say running pants do your body good. Now if you don’t mind, I’d like to know what this is all about.”
“It’s a surprise.” Ryder opened the Jeep’s passenger door.
“Where are we going?” She’d never been a fan of surprises. Maybe that was the attorney in her. She always had to be prepared for the unexpected. Which apparently was all the time with Ryder. Not knowing what came next unsettled her...just as much as it excited her. And Ryder definitely excited her.
“If I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise. Do you trust me?”
She wanted nothing more than to trust the cowboy, but he wasn’t making it easy.
“You know what, I’m a fool. Here I am, weeks out of prison and I’m asking you to trust me.” He shook his head and removed his ball cap. “I was so excited about planning this today I didn’t take into consideration how any of this might look. I’m taking you whitewater rafting. That is if you want to go.”
“Whitewater rafting?” The words terrified her. “Isn’t it too late in the season?”
