His angry tone stalled me for only a second, but the viciousness in his voice was not enough to overcome my sadness. If I had been thinking more clearly, I might have realized that Karl’s mask had slipped again, and his lies were beginning to fall away. He was worried about his appearance, he was worried about his reputation. He was worried about what the other aristocrats would think of him; he was worried about falling out of their good political graces.
He was not worried about me, or my distress.
Karl said he wanted Bohemia’s freedom, but he really meant he wanted power. He wanted his throne back. This was just all part of his plan—me included. What better queen to rule beside him than the daughter of a man who saved the last king during a revolution?
But I was too upset and too distracted to care.
I walked out of the ballroom, brushing past Karl’s friends and hurrying down the large set of stairs in front of the museum. The winter breeze was mellow but sure as I made my way down the streets.
There was no clear task in my mind, no clear place to go.
But I kept walking.
◊ ◊ ◊ ◊
I did not know what I could do. Amir was gone, I had no idea where Ben was, and I needed answers. So I went to the one place where I knew I could get them.
I had already walked for blocks when I noticed I forgot my cloak back at the Nàrodni muzuem. All I could do was put one foot in front of the other as the winter weather joined me through the snow-spotted streets. My hands were numb but shaking, and my feet were pinched with cold pain. I was more grateful than ever I had worn my new kid boots when I reached the Cabal.
I entered in, still listless but somehow more settled.
“Ella.”
Faye’s voice called out to me in a friendly manner as I entered her family’s establishment. There were a few other people around, a couple of regulars nursing their drinks. I was surprised, for some reason, to find myself here at all. A lady did not walk the streets alone, let alone to come to a publican house.
“You look lovely.” As if she knew of my own confusion, Faye came up to me carefully. I wondered if I looked as terrible as I felt. I could see her hesitation in her slow approach. Her eyes were wide with concern. “Are you well?”
“I need to speak with your father,” I mumbled, unable to say anything else. It was as if there were two versions of me living inside my body, and half of me was hiding secrets from my other half. I did not know when I arrived that I was supposed to come here, and I did not know I was looking for answers until I asked for Clavan. “I’m sorry, but it’s imperative. I need to speak to him or Eliezer now.”
“If you’re waiting for Elie’s wife, I am not sure she will come here tonight,” Faye said. “But you’re welcome to come in and warm up. Where is your cloak? You must be freezing.”
I felt my chin tremble as Faye led me to a nearby table.
“I’ll call for my dad while I get you some soup and tea,” she said. “Please, sit here.”
“Please, I just need information,” I said, even though I sat down. I did not want to tell her I was not sure if I could handle any food at all. My stomach was empty and grumbling, but my nerves stole any trace of my usual hunger. “Please. I promise that’s all I need.”
Faye was clearly troubled by my expression, but she nodded. I was grateful for her poise, especially as I felt the fear inside of me start to multiply.
When Clavan appeared through the door a moment later, I was too grateful to hide my desperation. “Mr. Clavan,” I sputtered, standing up from my seat. The urge to run over and collapse into his arms shocked me. It hit me hard, knowing how much I wanted a father’s comfort.
He took one look at me and shook his head. He grabbed a nearby bottle and a set of cups. “Patience, Lady Ella.”
He sat down across from me. “I’m not surprised to find you here,” he said quietly. “I know Ferdy is quite stubborn at times.”
“What are you talking about?” I blubbered.
“You’re here because of him, aren’t you?” Clavan calmly poured a drink for me. “You’re dressed up for all of Society to see, but you’re in love with him. I imagine it’s quite distressing on your grandmother.”
“How you know my grandmother?”
“I hear the gossip from all around.” Clavan gave me a small smile. His ageless eyes twinkled behind the little round glasses. “Lady Penelope Ollerton-Wellesley has been known to chase fortune and drama all her life, and I see she has not changed a bit, even after entering your life. The rumors say she has been dangling your suitors along, especially that Karl Marcelin.”
“That’s not why I am here.” I took a sip from the cup before me, surprised to feel the burning sensation of the liquid. “What is this?”
“It’s best not to ask the questions that have troubling answers,” Clavan said with a kind, teasing smile. “I assumed when you came in here, you were looking for Ferdy. I know it’s been a while since he’s been here, but he’ll be back. He always comes back.”
I swallowed hard. “I wanted to know something else,” I managed to say. “I heard something happened a few days ago, outside of the city. There was an attack on a carriage that was headed to Silesia. I wanted to know if you heard about it.”
He raised his brows at my question but gave me a thoughtful look. “Do you mean the incident with the empress’s cousin?”
My heart sank.
“The empress’s cousin?” I repeated carefully. That was one of Ferdy’s covers.
“Yes.” Clavan nodded. “There was a carriage with the coat of arms for the Duke of Silesia that was attacked by a Turk a few days ago. He got away, but apparently no one else survived.”
A Turk.
My hands fell away from my glass as I felt my heart break into two.
“The news and a mix of the gossip said that there was a fire from something the carriage was carrying with it. The vicar who saw the whole thing said it was likely wine.”
“Wine,” I repeated the word, as though it was as foreign to me as any of the Arabic words Amir had carved on his dagger.
I thought of the wine from before, the wine which carried the power to bring down castle walls. I fell back in my chair as Clavan told me the rest of the story, about the fire, about the futile search for the villain.
Ben had told me that Amir had talked with Lumiere before, and how Lumiere was connected to Karl and Lord Maximillian.
Was it possible ?
I did not want to think about it. The idea that Amir had killed Ferdy, the idea that Ferdy was dead—those were impossible ideas.
The idea that Karl was somehow behind his brother’s death, of course, was more plausible. With Lord Maximillian helping him, and Lumiere, too, all of it came together in the worst sort of way.
“Ella?” I heard Clavan’s voice in the small seconds before the rest of the world slipped away and everything went dark.
*16*
◊
“Ella.”
If there was a big difference between getting knocked out and fainting, I was not able to distinguish it. I heard Ferdy’s voice calling to me as he had last time, and I woke up in just as strange a place as I had when the castle walls had come crumbling down.
“Ferdy.” I sat up and opened my eyes, already searching for him as I woke up. Once more, I found myself in a foreign room, one that was not my own, and I was alone. My head fell into my hands as I collapsed forward.
I ran my hands through my hair as I looked up again. The room was far less grand than Ferdy’s room in the castle, but it was neat and orderly, from the worn copy of Jane Eyre on the table beside me, to the impeccably embroidered pillow behind me.
Ferdy was not there. No one else was around, either.
I was in a small bed, with thin sheets and an extra quilt tucked over my gown. Through the small window behind me, I saw the sky was still colored with the white-gray sheen of a Bohemian winter afternoon. I did not know if a lot of time had passed since I was ta
lking to Clavan. When I tried to think about it, all I could remember was the feeling of a father’s love as my body was carefully carried and set down.
The door opened, and Faye walked in with a tray.
“Oh, good,” she said. “You’re awake.”
“I’m so sorry,” I mumbled, embarrassed. “I didn’t mean to cause trouble.”
“This is a publican house,” she reminded me. “You’re not the first person to pass out here, nor are you first to get what appears to be the first decent sleep you’ve had in days.”
I felt my shame further deepen as I looked outside. As Faye indicated, it was clearly late. I suddenly did not want to know how long it had been since I had collapsed.
“You might be one of the sober ones who did, but other than that, we’re very familiar with what happens.”
“Is that how you met Jarl?” I asked, trying to smile even though I was unable to find any strength in me.
Faye laughed. “Close enough.” She moved her book and put the small tray down on the table beside the bed. I saw there was the warm cup of soup and a cup of tea she had promised me earlier.
“For a moment, I was worried the brandy my father gave you was too strong,” she admitted. “But when I saw you barely had any at all, I knew you would be well with some rest. Luckily, you’re close to my height, and Jarl’s uncle Rhys came in as Dad started to move you.”
I shook my head. There was a pounding feeling behind my eyes, a pressure from the Clavan family’s kindness and my own despair at Ferdy’s loss. “I don’t feel well at all.”
“I can see if Eliezer and his wife will come,” Faye said. “They usually come to see us after the Shabbat is over and she finishes her other rounds, but I know she will make exceptions for special cases.”
I shook my head. “Your family has done more than enough for me. I am already indebted to you.”
“We take care of our own,” Faye promised. Her eyes, a pretty hazel in the dim lighting, sparkled with a benevolent mischievousness. “And sometimes others as well.”
“Thank you.”
“Just rest for now,” Faye said, fluffing the pillow behind me. “I’ve been checking in on you every couple of hours. My room is small, but it’ll be good for you to stay for a bit.”
“This is your room?”
She nodded. “It’s likely a bit smaller than yours, but—”
“It’s wonderful,” I said. I looked down at the finery of my dress. “I wasn’t always the kind of person to wear gowns and go off to parties. I was a servant for my stepmother after my father died. He was knighted by the king before the Revolution, so I might have been born into a world of riches, but I can promise you, I envy you for your family’s goodness. You are much richer than I am.”
“You still have your brother.”
“My brother, and my faith.” I barely choked out the words. Both had been tested of late, and it felt wrong to say something was true when it did not feel that way at all.
Before Faye could do anything other than pat my hand reassuringly, Helen called for her. She quietly excused herself, and when I was alone again, I curled my knees up under my chest, letting myself sink into the sudden loneliness of the atmosphere.
I hoped I did not make Faye feel awkward. I already felt badly enough.
I had felt just as terrible when I woke up after the Advent Ball. It was mortifying to know I had been blind, to have missed Ferdy’s real identity before. Now, I felt even more foolish.
What is this, God? I wondered. To have Amir’s actions and motives questioned, and to have Ferdy’s life ended?
Did I not believe ardently enough? Did I do something to deserve such sadness? Was he punishing me for my mother’s sins?
“Is this further proof I have failed you, Lord?” I whispered, daring to ask a question of God. I did not know how I would respond to any answer I would get, if indeed I received any at all.
All I knew for sure was that there was too much sadness and too many secrets.
So many secrets.
Much as I had the day I left the castle, I looked out the window. I saw the outline of the city beyond the buildings and across the river, acutely aware there was so much brokenness in the world.
I grew up in the church, where we learned about the fall of Satan and the poison of sin in this world. As I remembered Karl’s earlier speech about Bohemia’s damaged pride, I thought about the magic of the city and the power it held to withstand the various foes of this world. I thought about sin and the power it had to engulf so many hearts in despair.
How did it come to this? I wondered, still lost in the cityscape before me. How did so much pain and so much destruction manage to infiltrate this world?
As I climbed out of bed and hurried to smooth out my dress, pat down my hair, and put on a presentable face, I knew I had no real answer to that question, either.
I did get an answer of sorts when I walked down the stairs and entered back into the bar, though whether it was an answer from God or Satan, I could not say.
Lumiere was back, sitting at the same spot as before, accompanied by his companion at the bar, half-hidden by the shadows. From what I could see, he was relaxed and cheerful.
In the face of Ferdy’s murder, I was more than ready to kill him.
“There you are, Lady Ella,” Lumiere called. His bright blond hair was wild and despite his best attempts, I could see the lines folding under his eyes. He was tired.
“What are you doing here?” I hissed, as I came up beside him. Didier, as if sensing my desire to do harm, moved to protect Lumiere, reaching inside his elegant coat with one hand. Before he could pull his weapon free, Lumiere stopped him.
“She’s fine, Didier,” Lumiere assured him in quieted tones. “She doesn’t have her dagger on her. Do you, Lady Ella?”
I stepped back, realizing he was right; and then I frowned, suddenly aware there would be no pretenses in this conversation.
I frowned. “You have some nerve to assume things about me.”
“I’m very well-practiced when it comes to assuming things, I can assure you,” he replied with a smile. “But I do happen to know you quite well. I knew you were Naděžda’s daughter right from the beginning, even if I had doubts about how much Pepé had actually trained you.”
“Pepé?” I wrinkled my nose. “Why do you use that name for Lady Penelope?”
“She was the mistress of my father’s best friend for many years, and he repeatedly referred to her as such when he wanted to blame her for all his problems. I can assure you, my father believed she alone was responsible for your grandfather’s excessive drinking and his incessant need to meddle in chaos. I imagine your grandfather would have been a quite a solemn priest, content to bore himself into heaven, if he had never met her.”
The biting sarcasm of his words almost made me laugh, before I remembered he was the one responsible for my pain.
I glanced back at Didier. Harshad and Xiana had taught me the basics, and I did not think that would stand up well against Didier or his revolver. I was also unsure if Lumiere was armed.
“I heard about your recent departure from Karl Marcelin’s brightest moment,” Lumiere said. “He was quite upset you left him there alone. He was hoping to announce your engagement tonight with you by his side.”
“I never agreed to marry him,” I objected, curling my fingers into fists. “And my grandmother would never agree to it, either.”
“Au contraire. She agreed to it after you left the museum,” Lumiere told me with a smug smile, making me feel even more queasy.
What is going on? Karl and I are engaged? Why would Lady Penelope agree to this? She promised me she wouldn’t do this to me!
“He will have to issue a retraction,” I said, trying my hardest to maintain my composure as panic began to take hold of me.
All I needed to do was get to Lady Penelope, I told myself.
“Doubtful. He is very determined to marry you. Most ladies would be flattered. He
is leading the charge for Bohemia to become its own nation, to separate itself from the Austrians and the Hungarians, and the rest of the remnant of the Holy Roman Empire.”
“Well, I don’t want to marry him,” I snapped.
“I noticed that, chérie, just as I noticed it took quite a bit of acting on Pepé’s part to make sure others believed you do,” Lumiere said. “She even left with him. No doubt there is some sinister work afoot.”
“Karl will have to make peace with my departure. I was ... sick.”
“Your grandmother is also quite upset. But then I would be too, if I was forcibly escorted out of a party I didn’t want to leave,” Lumiere cooed.
“You’re the reason for it,” I hissed.
“Chérie, I am not the one who is lying to Karl about wanting to marry him.” Lumiere giggled. "And not to mention his brother is in love with you. I commend you on being brave enough to wear the royal combs. I’m sure Karl loved seeing them on you, especially since Ferdinand would be the only other person in the world who could give the crown princess jewels to you.”
I reached up and touched one of the combs, then I felt another part of my soul crumble. I had unwittingly blown my cover; I heard the anger in Karl’s voice as I left him in the middle of the room. He would know the truth about me now, for certain.
Just like Lady POW does. I thought about her strange interrogation earlier, after she noticed them. She had assumed they were from Karl, and that was how she knew I was keeping other secrets before, too.
Indignation briefly ran through me; if Ferdy was not already dead, I would have been tempted to kill him.
Ferdy gave me the princess combs for my hair, tricking me into taking them. Now as a result, I had revealed myself, and the Order’s whole mission was at risk.
“No one else has seen Pepé either since then,” Lumiere continued. “I do believe Karl has finally taken my advice. I did tell him to stop letting people walk all over him when it came to being in the criminal side of business. Begin as you mean to go on, I told him. If you want the crown, if you want to rule, you have to be relentless. But I do have to admit, kidnapping your grandmother was a stroke of brilliance. I just hope he can handle it. It’s rather like watching a baby bird choke on snake. Ah, well, if nothing else, it is delicious entertainment ...”
Prince of Secrets and Shadows Page 21
