“I know that’s frustrating.” I knew from my own experiences with Lady POW and the others that I had plenty of others who were content to do the same thing to me.
“Damn it all to hell, of course it’s frustrating.” Ferdy punched the wall again, before he gripped his fist in pain. “I’m not special, Ella. No one should have to die for me.”
I hurried forward and clasped my arms around his neck, holding on as he flinched. “I wouldn’t die for a prince,” I told him quietly. “But I would die for you.”
I thought about telling him how much I wanted to kill for him, too, to punish Lumiere for his plans and Karl for his deviousness. But before I could think anything else, Ferdy reached up and pushed back my hood.
And then all of a sudden, his mouth was on mine again, and nothing else in the world mattered.
It seemed the storm inside of me was only matched by the one in him. His fingers were scratched and bloody as they tangled themselves in my hair, but I did not care. His kiss was rough and heavy, nothing like any other we had shared before. I could feel the frustration inside of him, along with the anger, but I knew it was the uncertainty that drove him to seek the solace of truth.
I was breathless as he pulled me closer to him, and then pressed into me. My back came up against the wall he had hit in frustration moments earlier. I might have been afraid, but I was too overwhelmed.
His hands were suddenly on my hips, the heat of his body burning against mine. My hands gripped onto his shoulders before slipping under his shirt, eager to feel the strength of him I had witnessed earlier, desperate to soothe the ache of his bruise. My fingers trailed down his side, seeking out his injury. I felt him shiver at my touch and I was about to ask him if I had hurt him when he pressed his hand over mine, flattening my palm even more ardently against his bruised rib. The slickness of his torso was oddly irresistible.
“Tell me what you want, Ella.”
I already had my answer. “I want you to keep me,” I whispered, clinging to him even more tightly as I drew his lips to mine again.
It was all too much to have him with me again. The taste of him, the feel of him—everything rushed at me all at once, and I did nothing to stop it.
I used to think being free meant an escape; I thought it meant I would be able to move away from authority and addiction, to be still against the forces of time and space. But as he held me there, pushed up against a wall, I knew freedom was not an escape, but a coming home; it was a place to run to, a star to guide all other forces of life and light, pushing back against the darkness of hopelessness and sin. Embracing it meant I could be who I was, loved and cherished, even more of who I was meant to be.
Ferdy’s breath was ragged as he finally pulled his mouth away from mine. “This is madness.”
“I thought you said it was magic before.” My voice was shaking and hoarse as I whispered into the darkness.
Ferdy laughed and kissed my neck, letting the shy stubble on his cheeks rest against my skin as he caught his breath. “There is nothing magical about me wanting to make love to you inside a warehouse.”
I stilled at his words, suddenly very aware we were too close. I slid away from him, only a little, but he stepped back as well. “You’re right about that. Lady Penelope says there’s no room for falling in love in the life of a spy.”
He leaned in and kissed me once more, softly and slowly, before resting his forehead on mine, just as he had that day I woke up in Prague Castle. “You are more than a spy, just as I am more than a prince.”
There was no trace of jesting or mockery in his voice. This time, he was only sincere and succinct, and if I had not fallen in love with him already, I would have done so in that second.
“What does your grandmother think about a spy getting married?” Ferdy asked.
It was too hard to tell if I was more hopeful at the question or dumbstruck at the possible answers. Lady POW had not married except to ensure her survival, and none of her other team members were married, either.
But my mother got married.
The safest answer was the one I gave him. “I don’t know.”
“Well, I guess we will find out when I meet her, won’t we?” Ferdy took my hand and brought it to his lips, lacing his fingers into mine.
I froze. The thought of being with Ferdy no longer seemed so impossible; if death was no longer between us, I did not see why social order and kingdom security would stop us from being together. But I was genuinely unsure of what Lady Penelope would say, and I did not know if I could bear her refusal, or what we would do if she denied us.
“I’m glad you came to find me,” Ferdy whispered. There was still a hint of sadness in his voice, but he seemed more hopeful than before.
“Me, too.” I barely remembered what a marvel it was, that I had been able to find out about him at all. If miracles happened enough, it was too easy to see them as normal and take them for granted. I was not supposed to even be near the port, nor was I supposed to go to the Cabal, or run into Madame Balthazar ...
I am supposed to be looking for Lady Penelope and stopping Karl from announcing our engagement.
“What time is it?” I looked around and saw nothing to indicate how much time had passed. There was not even a window around to let me see if the moon had risen. “I have to go.”
“Already?” Ferdy gave me a small smirk. “I thought you were going to see about another round of boxing?”
“If I do, my opponent is going to be your brother,” I said. “He kidnapped Lady POW and he’s holding her somewhere. That is the only reason the papers published the news about our engagement.”
“Karl kidnapped your grandmother?” Ferdy frowned. “That doesn’t sound like him.”
“That reminds me.” I scowled up at him. “He’s working with your so-called friend Lumiere. He was the one who organized the attack on your coach.”
“That does sound like Lumi. I wonder if he knew it was really me or not.” Ferdy muttered a curse or two under his breath, and I immediately felt better. Lumiere likely wanted Ferdy to be his friend the way he wanted me to be his friend, and there was no way I could ever see that happening short of a miracle or two. “I’ll have to ask him. He is very clever, but it would not be the first time his plans went awry.”
“I can’t believe you even would give him the benefit of the doubt there,” I scoffed. It was true that I felt deeply empathetic for Ferdy and his loss, but it was no help to be ignorant of the facts.
“I did not say I would only ask him questions.” Ferdy gave me a wink as he buttoned up his shirt. “I’ll likely intersperse them with a few punches.”
I nodded approvingly. “I would love to join you. Before we can take care of him, I need to find Lady POW.”
“We can do that. What is the plan?”
“What?” I blinked up at Ferdy. “You’re not part of the plan.”
“I never was, chérie, but here I am. Are you really going to let me loose on the streets of Prague again without worrying for my life and safety?”
“You should be more worried about your life and safety if you think you’re going to trick me into letting you help with my mission,” I said, suddenly remembering Ferdy’s other mischief. “Karl found out about us all because of you.”
“What? I was extremely discreet when I came to visit you at the concert.”
“It wasn’t that. It was the hair combs you gave me before. He saw them.”
Ferdy’s hand gripped onto mine more tightly. “You mean you actually wore them out in public?”
“I didn’t know they were the princess combs!”
“You really don’t know anything about your kingdom’s history, do you?”
“One does not need to know the history of a nation while working as a maid,” I snapped. “Besides, knowing you as I do, I would say you didn’t think I would recognize them. That was why you offered them in the first place.”
“If Karl does know about us, that makes more sense as to wh
y he kidnapped Lady Penelope and sent the notice to the papers,” Ferdy said, clearly ignoring my point. “He had to force her hand because he knew I was pursuing you.”
“You were pursuing me.” I glanced around again, gesturing to the warehouse closet where we were located. “Or maybe I should say you were making me pursue you?”
“Let’s call it even.” He gave me a quick smile before his expression turned dark again. “Do you know where he’s holding Lady Penelope?”
“Not exactly,” I said. “I thought he would take her to the castle, since he’s staying there, and he would be able to have someone watch her while he was busy with other things.”
“I can help with that. My parents live there, after all, and all the servants are under orders to listen to me.”
“I don’t want you to get hurt.” I hugged him close, looping my arms around his waist. “I already thought I lost you once.”
“You couldn’t lose me if you tried,” Ferdy insisted. He tucked a stray curl of my hair behind my ear. “I am too clever for you, even if you are a spy for the Order.”
“I’ve only just forgiven you for lying to me about being alive and blowing my cover, and you’re comfortable enough to insult me?”
“They made your mission about me when they decided to try to kill me, remember?”
I was losing the battle, if I had not lost already.
“Consider this a matter of efficiency. And speaking of which, we should head out to the castle now,” Ferdy said as he took my hand and opened the door. “If we’re going to stop my brother, we’ll need to ...”
Ferdy’s voice trailed off as he stopped. I glanced over his shoulder, only to see a small group of shadows stationed at the exit.
The shadows were attached to men, and all of them stared at us as we stood there. They seemed to be waiting around for something. I yanked my mask up over my nose, afraid they might have been looking for me. Ferdy inched in front of me; the same thought was likely running through his mind. He stepped forward and stretched out his arm, as if he was going to exchange greetings, but one of them pointed to Ferdy. “The boss was right. He’s alive. Get him!”
Before I could do anything, Ferdy tugged me around and began running the other way. “Other way out.”
“Well, hurry it up, you lazy thugs! Go get them.” Another voice spoke up, and I struggled to keep running as I thought I recognized it. As carefully as I could, I turned to see the leader of the small group. While Ferdy and I had been preoccupied inside the supply closet, other lamps had been lit.
I gasped at the sight, my suspicions confirmed.
It was my stepbrother, Alex.
*21*
◊
The warehouse was much bigger and more complicated on the inside than what I had anticipated. Still stunned at the sight of my stepbrother, I was glad Ferdy was able to lead me through the makeshift arena and the labyrinthine halls connected to it. He would join me on my mission for sure now, but I was here to protect him as much as I was out to destroy Karl now.
We raced through the crowded halls, jumping through another round of fighters, before bursting into another storage area.
“Is this where you’ve been sleeping?” I asked Ferdy, looking around at a few shoddy pallets and poorly constructed tents. There were several other people scattered throughout the warehouse halls, some of them sleeping, several of them smoking cigarettes, and many huddled together in close circles for extra warmth.
“It’s not as bad as it looks.”
I thought back to the days where Ben and I would sleep out in the barn, just to get away from Cecilia and her tyranny. Ferdy was likely right, but it did not make me feel any better. “I’m sorry.”
“I could be dead,” Ferdy reminded me.
“Apparently so, since there are still others trying to kill you.” I glanced back to see the men were struggling to follow us. I saw them get caught up in the same crowds as we had. “My stepbrother is their leader.”
“Your stepbrother?”
“Yes, Alex.”
“How did he get involved in all of this?”
I was not even sure if I could describe what the whole situation was. I knew that Alex, along with the rest of Cecilia’s household, had disappeared weeks ago without a trace. Now that I saw he was after Ferdy, it could only mean one thing: he was working with Lord Maximillian.
“Cecilia’s a distant cousin to Lord Maximillian, the one who wanted to secure the throne for Karl,” I said. “He purposefully broke off his daughter’s engagement to Alex so he could get her to marry Karl.”
“And then Karl suddenly decided he wanted you.”
I blushed. “So did you.”
“If you think my interest in you is sudden, you haven’t been paying attention.”
“You saw me more than ten years ago,” I said. “I can’t imagine that made any lasting impression on you, at least to the point you wanted to marry me.”
“There are a few other times I’ve seen you in the city,” Ferdy admitted. “But I still hold to my story. Something about my life changed when I saw you all those years ago.”
“I appreciate that, I really do.” I was panting hard as we ducked around a corner and pushed through a door. The bite of the winter night was harsh, catching my throat. “But this is not the best time for this.”
“True.”
“Even if your interest is not sudden, Karl’s is.”
“I doubt it. He knew of our father’s admiration for yours,” Ferdy said. “And he might have known of my feelings toward you, too.”
I was panting too hard to respond.
Ferdy led me around several crates. “Stay down,” he ordered, before glancing back. “I’m going to monitor them from over there.”
“Be careful.” I pulled out my dagger, hoping Alex and his cronies would have the good sense to give up.
“Hopefully they will lose us out here. The docks are dangerous, but especially at night,” Ferdy said. “Stay here.”
It was not the best time to argue with him, but I grimaced as he began issuing orders. He was the one infiltrating my mission, after all. If anything, he should have been taking orders from me.
Yards away, I heard some grunting mixed in with Alex’s voice.
“Put your pistol away,” I heard Alex say. “Max wants him alive. If we’re going to correct the wrongs we’ve been dealt, we can’t kill him.”
It was not easy to picture Alex as I remembered him, with his bright hair brushed back and his fancy clothes, as the ringleader of mercenaries. But his words did make more sense; Lord Maximillian had hired him to find Ferdy.
Which meant that he knew of both the secret heirs of Bohemia. I was horrified to think what he would do to Ferdy if he got a hold of him. With Karl engaged to me, he might be looking for a way to usurp Karl’s leadership.
A hand came down on my shoulder, and I jumped.
“It’s me,” Ferdy whispered. “Come this way. I think I found a way we can go around them.”
“Where are we going?”
“To the Cabal. Jarl and his family are more than able to help, and Elie and Clavan might have more information for us.”
Ferdy took the lead, and we began winding our way through the various lanes of shipping supplies, crates, and machinery. We were almost back on the cobblestone streets when a shot rang out behind us.
“Hurry!”
Ferdy did not need to tell me twice. I went running, recalling how Harshad had warned me before, in one of our various lessons, that it was unwise to get into a gunfight without a gun. Pistols had their drawbacks, but there was only so much I could do if I was shot.
Ferdy suddenly pushed me to the side. “You go that way,” he said, pointing to a crossroad ahead of us. “I’ll try to draw them back to the port.”
“No,” I objected. “No, you’re not leaving my sight.”
“It’s a tactic, Ella. Divide and conquer.”
I did not have a chance to point out that if we wer
e splitting up, we would be doing their work for them. Ferdy turned around and headed for them.
“Ferdy!”
He did not pay any attention to me, and I skidded to a halt, ready to follow him. He was much quicker than me, and he turned down another lane before I could catch him.
I heard Alex call out to his men, telling them to separate.
“No,” I huffed, still struggling to catch up. That was when one of Alex’s henchmen turned to face me, and he began to run toward me.
A rush of fear propelled me to the side, away from where Ferdy went, and I found myself at the side of a smaller warehouse building. I could just hear the others as they cried out, and I did not know if Ferdy was able to fight them off or not.
Why in the world did he think it would be a good idea to leave me?
“Because he wanted to protect me,” I muttered. But he was not doing me a favor by endangering himself.
The henchman who followed me appeared, just yards away. I raised my fists, ready to fight.
“You’re trapped now,” the man said, lunging forward. “Nowhere else to go.”
As I did my best to block his attack, I saw he had a handkerchief in his hand, one that held a sickly, sweet aroma.
Chloroform.
I had only ever smelled that once before, when Cecilia cut herself after yelling at one of the cooks about a year ago. She had to send Alex out for the doctor at once, while I watched from the shadows, both fascinated and horrified as she bled. When the doctor arrived, it was not long before he used chloroform to knock Cecilia out while he stitched up the gash on her leg. I would not have blamed him if it was to keep her quiet as much to keep her still, but he finished much more quickly with his work while she was unconscious.
I gulped, pressing my lips even more tightly together as we began to circle each other.
A few blows later, I was able to relax, if only in the slightest. The henchman was not as skilled as me as a fighter, but he did have a distinct advantage when it came to strength. And while I was surprised at the difference between fighting a real enemy as opposed to Harshad or Ben, I kept my focus clear. I had to get back to Ferdy.
Prince of Secrets and Shadows Page 26
