by Stella Hart
At some point, I must’ve crawled up to my bed and fallen into a fitful sleep. I didn’t remember doing it, but when I opened my eyes again, I was under the blanket, and my cheeks were finally dry.
Something caught my eye, and I sat up and looked. There was a tray sitting by the slot in my door. A familiar silver cloche tray…
I got out of bed and padded over to it, lifting the lid. Beneath it was the remaining part of my lobster roll from earlier, along with another brand new one. Warm, buttery, delightful.
There was a note on the tray as well. My eyes scanned the scrawled words. I’m not a monster.
Fresh tears sprang to my eyes, and I crumpled back to the floor and sobbed, this time out of relief. I was right this morning.
Despite it all, Elias still had a soul.
16
Tatum
I opened one eye as something creaked near me. There was a man in my room. All I could see was brown hair and cold blue-green eyes. The rest was a blur.
A moan escaped my lips. “Where… where am I?” I asked.
“Sit up. It’ll wear off soon. You know these things are necessary,” the man said. “I think they may have given you too high of a dose last night, though, if you’re this bad.” His voice was cold, dangerous, sent a lick of fear up my spine. I couldn’t remember who he was, but I knew to be afraid of him.
I tried to do what he said, lethargically pulling myself up to a seated position. I was on a small bed with white sheets and a gray blanket. I swung my legs over one edge and rubbed my eyes before looking around again.
I repeated my earlier question. “Where am I?”
The man glared down at me. “Tatum, you’ve been here for weeks. You know where you are. Think.”
A name suddenly popped into my head, clear as day. “King,” I whispered. “That’s… that’s you.”
He was Tobias King. Richest man in the country. But why was he here? I strained my mind, trying my best to figure it out.
“Good girl. You’re starting to remember.”
My voice trembling, I spoke up again. “Why am I here?”
“Because you asked for it.”
I shook my head. “No...”
A vicious smile. “Oh, yes.”
My memory was slowly beginning to return now. I recalled a ceremony in the woods, flaming torches, robed men with horned masks and golden rings. A woman in white, tied to a stone altar…
I moaned, and the memories kept seeping in. A mansion in the darkness. A skull filled with red liquid. A hot metal iron pressed against my skin. Mellie, laughing cruelly at me. A ballroom. A tasseled whip. A bath.
Elias.
“I made this happen,” I whispered, reaching around to feel the brand on my lower back. It still wasn’t entirely healed, but the scab was almost ready to fall off, and it wasn’t infected.
Tobias cracked another nasty smile. “So it’s all coming back to you. Thank god it’s wearing off. We need you ready for tonight, don’t we?”
“Tonight?”
“The Bonding is tonight. Surely you remember that part.”
I shook my head. “I don’t.”
“It means it’s finally time for you to lose your virginity.”
Suddenly the rest of it came flooding back. Of course. I’d been given some of the orange juice last night because the guards were sick of me crying for Elias after he left me the lobster rolls. No wonder I felt so dizzy and blurry for so long. The drugs in the juice made me sleepy and woozy, and they made it hard to remember anything when I woke up, at least for the first few minutes.
I wished I never remembered any of this at all. I wished the drugs would strip it away permanently, leave my mind untainted and innocent.
“I can’t believe I did this,” I repeated miserably.
“You did it because you belong here.” Another nasty smile. “Don’t you?”
I nodded grimly. I hated to admit it, but he was right. This was where I belonged now, and it was all my fault.
I thought about how different my life would’ve been if I wound up making other choices. Better choices. What if I’d been smart and accepted from the very start that I didn’t belong anywhere near the world of the elite and subsequently never attended that party with Katie nearly two years ago? I wouldn’t have met Ben Wellington, I wouldn’t have contributed to his death, and I wouldn’t have ended up on the Kings’ radars. I wouldn’t be here now, owned and subjugated by one of them.
Every choice I’d made, every action I carried out… it was all leading me down a twisted path, carrying me toward Elias. All this time.
“Where is he?” I croaked. “Elias.”
“Missing him, are you? How sweet,” Tobias said in an acid tone.
I shivered. Yes, I missed him. Missed his voice, his touch. I’d been left here all alone in this room for what felt like an eternity, even though I knew it was only since last night. A well-deserved punishment. I was bad yesterday, and I hit Elias. I needed to be good now, or I would get more punishment. More confinement.
“He’s back at Roden,” Tobias went on crisply. “Had some sort of grad school exam. But don’t worry, he’ll be here tonight.”
“Okay,” I murmured. One last remnant of rationality, a tiny scrap right at the back of my mind, told me I shouldn’t miss Elias. Shouldn’t crave him. Shouldn’t be desperate to see him.
Oh, but I was….
I wanted him to touch me like he did the other day. I wanted him to bring me all those heated pleasures, make me feel better and forget where I was for just a few minutes. When he touched me, it was the only time I felt good in this place. The only time I had any real will to keep going.
I needed more, even if it was bad for me. Even if it destroyed me.
Tobias snapped his fingers at me. “You need to go upstairs and start getting ready.”
“I’m allowed out again?” I asked. I couldn’t quite believe it. Not when I’d been trapped in here for what felt like such a long time.
He glared at me. “You really are stupid, aren’t you? Did you think the ceremony would be in here? Of course it’s not, and of course you’re allowed out. For now, anyway. So hurry up.”
I stood and trailed after him, up to the first floor. He took me into the room with the enormous Roman bath and left me in there, shutting the door behind him with a click.
I wasn’t alone. There were other girls in the water already, washing themselves and splashing around, and three guards slowly patrolled around the room, making sure no one spoke.
I stepped down into the warm azure water. I was already naked; I’d taken off the lingerie Elias gifted me not long after he dragged me back to my cell last night. I didn’t deserve to wear it. Not until he was happy with me again.
When we were all sparkling clean, the guards ordered us out of the water one by one, tossing fluffy white towels at us. “Come with us,” one of them said.
We quickly dried ourselves before wrapping the towels around our bodies and stepping out of the room in single file, silently following the guards down another hall. After that, we were all split up again. I saw Pri being directed into a room at the start of this new hall, and another girl was pushed into the room across from it. I kept heading down the hall until one of the guards told me to stop.
The door opened, and a familiar face peered out. Mellie.
“Hey!” she said, as if we were actually friends. As if she didn’t fake everything and sell me out like the treacherous little witch she was. “I’m going to help you get ready. Are you excited?”
I shrugged. Truthfully, I was excited to see what the Bonding would entail, because it meant I would get to see Elias again, but I didn’t want to tell her that.
“You’re finally going to lose your virginity,” Mellie went on, ignoring my obvious reticence toward her. “You’re lucky. I wish I could lose mine again. I threw it away at some stupid party in high school. But you… you get to lose it to someone special. Someone who wanted you so badly they were w
illing to do anything to have you.”
I nodded mutely. I was lucky, in a twisted sense. I would get to be with Elias tonight, while so many of the other girls here would be paired with old men with sagging bodies, receding hairlines, and cruel eyes. Like the horrible man from the ball. The thought made me shudder.
“Why is Elias so young compared to most of the other men I’ve seen here so far?” I blurted out, suddenly unable to hold the question in.
Mellie smiled. “Ah, she speaks.”
“I was just curious,” I said softly, averting my eyes.
“Well, it’s a good question. And lucky for you, I know more than most about Crown and Dagger.”
“Yeah, I know. Unfortunately,” I muttered.
She ignored my dig. “Elias is only a second-level member of the society. Technically, any society member from the second or third levels can come here, bid on a virgin, and take care of her training before she goes to the Lodge, but it’s usually more of an older man’s game. The second-level guys are usually still pretty young, so while they don’t mind banging a gorgeous hooker at the Lodge once in a while, they don’t always have half a million dollars to throw away on one girl. Or they do, thanks to their trust funds, but they don’t want to. Better off saving for their future and spending their time establishing their careers and whatnot. Elias is already a multi-billionaire, though, thanks to his family. Paying for you and your innocence is nothing to someone like him.”
“So the other men here are mostly third-level?”
“Uh-huh,” she said breezily. “The youngest a guy can be to obtain consideration for that level is twenty-four. Most of them don’t make it till they’re far older than that, though.”
“Right,” I muttered.
I wanted to know what the differences between the second and third levels were, but I knew Mellie would never tell me. She wasn’t even supposed to know. The only reason the society hadn’t killed her for discovering their secrets was because she was able to convince them she had a necessary service to provide.
She was always a smart girl.
She sat me down at a dark mahogany vanity and set about waxing my legs, underarms and pussy. I endured the pain silently as she ripped the strips away, not wanting to give her the satisfaction of knowing she hurt me.
When my skin was smooth and hairless, she rubbed some sweet-smelling lotion on me to soothe any redness and irritation. Then she put some makeup on me—dark brown eyeshadow, thick lashings of mascara, pink lipstick. For the finishing touches, she swiped some golden highlighter over my cheeks.
“Time for the hair,” she muttered, mostly to herself. She brushed my hair until it was tangle-free and shiny, and then she styled it into loose waves that hung around my face. As much as I couldn’t stand Mellie, I had to admit she was talented at this stuff.
“Nearly done,” she said, inspecting her handiwork in the mirror. “We just need to get you dressed now.”
She crossed over to a wardrobe on the other side of the room and returned with a gauzy white robe. I stood and let her slide it over my head. The light fabric billowed out around me when I moved, and it was thin enough so that my nipples and pussy were visible under the light.
She topped the outfit off with a ring of white flowers on my head. I looked like some sort of virgin sacrifice victim from an ancient cult.
“Perfect,” Mellie said. “You’re due out there at seven-thirty, so we have some time to kill. Do you want to watch a movie with me?”
I gaped at her. “A movie?”
She frowned impatiently. “Yes, a movie. You haven’t forgotten what they are, have you?” she said. She motioned toward a laptop sitting on the bed. “We aren’t allowed out of this room until it’s your turn, so we may as well do something.”
“I don’t know if I’m allowed,” I said softly.
“Jesus, they’ve really done a number on you,” she muttered. “You’re allowed to tonight, okay?”
I went and sat down on the bed. Mellie joined me, opened the laptop and put a Netflix movie on. I watched in a dreamy silence. This was all so surreal. I was just sitting here watching a rom-com with my old best friend as if nothing ever happened. As if I wasn’t going to lose my virginity in some strange ceremony in two hours.
I’d never really been one of those girls who made a big deal about virginity. I didn’t want there to be some big special evening after my high school prom with candles and red rose petals everywhere. Honestly, I just wanted to get it over with and see what it was like. Granted, I never wound up having the opportunity, but still, that was my general attitude toward it. Maybe not the best attitude, and definitely not the one society expected of girls my age, but hell, I’d never really fitted in properly anyway.
If I ended up going on a date and sleeping with a guy I barely knew, and he wound up already having a girlfriend or having some sort of sexually transmitted infection, then yes, that would show poor judgment on my behalf and end up being a bad decision compared with all the girls who waited for a special guy and a special night. But at least it would be my bad decision.
Here at the Finishing School, the decision was out of my hands. I would lose my virginity tonight whether I liked it or not. And suddenly, just like that, I no longer had the attitude of ‘getting it over with’. I wanted it to be special. I wanted it to be my decision. I wanted it to be with someone I cared about…
I bit my bottom lip, thinking of Elias. It occurred to me that I did care about him in a twisted way, and in different circumstances, it would be beyond special. Back in the real world, losing my virginity to a guy like him would be memorable and incredible. Here? It could be the same if I made the most of it. He was sinfully sexy and made me melt like no one and nothing else, and just the other day, I’d practically begged him to fuck me.
Tonight probably wouldn’t be any different. As soon as his lips were on mine, all those lustful feelings would stir within me again, and I’d be putty in his hands. I’d beg him to make me feel good, beg him to make me feel better. After all, he was the only one who could…
“Tatum.” Mellie nudged me. “Time to go.”
With shaky legs, I stood up and followed her over to the mirror for a quick once-over, and then she led me out of the room. She left me at the end of the hall with two guards. They blindfolded me and guided me out of the mansion.
It was cold outside, but I felt fine. Excitement was bubbling through my veins, warming me, and I almost felt like I wasn’t really here. As if this were all a dream where I was looking down at myself from above, watching myself walk down that dark path to the amphitheater in the woods. I couldn’t see, but I knew that was where we were going. I could hear the low rumble of the ocean on my right, and on the left there was the sound of wind blowing through branches. In the distance, I could hear the steady rhythm of drums.
The sound grew louder and then suddenly stopped. There was nothing but silence. Darkness. The guards took my blindfold off, but it was still pitch-black. There was no moon to cast a glow over the world tonight, barely any stars visible through the thick canopy of branches. The excitement in my stomach boiled down to a hum of nervous energy.
“Go forward,” one of the guards said in a low mutter. “Keep going until they tell you to stop.”
I took a deep breath, then started forward, stumbling slightly. Without the men to guide me in the darkness, my feel felt alien and awkward, and I wasn’t sure if I was even going the right way.
A sudden chill made me shiver. I wished the drums would start up again, just so I would know I was going the right way, but aside from the moaning wind, there was nothing but an intimidating silence from up ahead. I felt simultaneously alone and watched.
A voice suddenly echoed out of the darkness ahead. “Stop.”
Directly ahead of me, a torch was lit. In the flickering light, I could see I was standing in the amphitheater. The flame dipped to the right and flared again. Around in a circle it went, until I was surrounded by a ring of burning
torches twenty feet across.
Beyond the circle, I could make out a group of people sitting on the amphitheater steps. There was a hood over each one, hanging low over masculine cheekbones and jawlines. One of them stepped forward, and a creeping fear took hold at the base of my spine.
The man pulled back the hood of his robe, letting it fall away to the ground. On his head was a bronze mask that covered his nose and cheekbones and cast the rest of his face in shadow. He was shirtless, and his tanned skin glowed in the firelight.
I breathed a sigh of relief. I knew that body anywhere. It was definitely Elias.
A low murmur started in the audience, and then the drums began to pulse and throb in the air around us. Alongside them, a musical number with a strange, haunting chant started up from the front of the amphitheater. It wasn’t in English or any other language I vaguely recognized, so I had no idea what the words meant, but it was hypnotic all the same.
My pulse quickened in a mixture of fear and anticipation as Elias picked me up and carried me in his arms. We were only a few feet away from an enormous altar, and he gently set me down on it a moment later.
The altar was draped in heavy dark velvet, with two bronze rods at the end closest to my head. Two robed men approached with what appeared to be white silk scarves. I lay still as they tied my arms above my head, securing the fabric on the rods.
I couldn’t move now, even if I wanted to.
Elias stood above me, watching me through his mask. He saw that I was trembling, and he reached down and stroked one arm. I could feel his warmth seeping into my skin, spreading through my system like hot oil as the sounds in the amphitheater grew louder, the chanting reverberating around the stone structure. The whole world seemed to be aquiver, blurring at the edges, and I felt myself falling deeper under the music’s hypnotizing spell.
Elias took his mask off and placed it on the side of the altar. He leaned over me, hands going to my shoulders and then my chest, gently caressing the bare parts of my skin before ripping my gauzy robe wide open.
