Blackie lost it. To feel her climax around his shaft was too powerful to battle. The ability to think was lost and all that existed were white-hot flashes of ecstasy jolting through his body as he shook on his feet, only vaguely aware of locking his knees to keep them both from crashing to the floor of their quarters. He felt raw, every nerve exposed and oddly at peace.
“I love you,” she panted.
“I love you too.” He meant every word and knew the definition of that strong emotion. She made him complete, was his other half that had been missing since he’d become aware, realized his existence. She filled that empty space he’d always had inside.
All the things he’d done for the council flashed through his mind and he had a new awareness of his actions, saw them as crimes he’d committed. The men who’d bonded with humans had been perceived as threats to cyborgs’ continuation to thrive. He’d listened to Parlis, believed the dire warnings and had acted in accordance. The almost worship he’d practiced when it came to the cyborg once known as Freedom suddenly sickened him.
“Are you all right?” Eve nuzzled his throat, brushing soft kisses across his skin.
He debated giving her an answer that would shield her from his inner turmoil but she was his mate. “No.”
“Did you strain a muscle?” She pulled back enough to hold his gaze.
“I feel shame. It’s not pleasant.”
“There’s nothing wrong with what we just did. Nothing. I loved it. It’s called a quickie and I hope we have more of them often.”
She amused him and he couldn’t avoid smiling. “That’s not the source of my shame. I enjoyed that.”
“Talk to me.” Her voice soothed him as her tone lowered, concern clear in the way she looked at him. “What’s wrong?”
“You are more important to me than anything. I understand the importance of love. I have that for you.”
Tears filled her eyes. “This is a cyborg thing, right? It’s okay to feel this way. I’m so glad you do. I was terrified those implants had damaged you to the point that you’d never be able to feel strong emotions. It’s totally natural to love someone. Maybe they taught you it was wrong but it’s not.”
“Why do you cry?”
“I’m happy.”
She confused him. “Tears indicate pain or distress.”
“You really love me. It’s a woman thing to get all choked up when the man she loves says it.” She shrugged. “I’m really happy. It’s kind of complicated but trust me, I’m overjoyed.”
“I do trust you.” He inhaled, hating to admit the truth to her. “I don’t ever want lies between us but you might feel dishonored by my actions when I confess things I’ve done wrong.”
Her eyes closed and her face lowered to press against the curve of his chest. “Oh god. You knew they were going to leave us behind on Earth, didn’t you?”
“No!”
Her arms wrapped around him in a tighter hug. Tears slipped down her cheeks. “I love you. It hurts really bad but I understand. We just had a few minutes together. You thought I was an Earther. I’ll forgive you though.”
Seeing her anguish caused physical pain inside his chest. He pressed her tightly to the wall, lifted a hand to gently grip her chin and forced her to look at him “I didn’t know. I swear, Eve. I’m trying to confess to the things I did long after we left Earth.”
Some of her grief seemed to ease but she tensed in his arms. “I don’t want to hear about the women you’ve touched. This is one of those things we don’t need to share every detail about. It would hurt.”
He winced inwardly, compassion a new emotion. He wouldn’t enjoy hearing details of her having intercourse with other men. It also opened a line of thought he hadn’t traveled yet. He’d want to track down and kill any male who’d touched Eve. She was his. It did horrible things to his stomach. He was thankful that she had not been with other men.
“I followed council orders when I shouldn’t have. I didn’t know they were wrong at the time but I understand now why some cyborgs hate me. They are justified.” He continued when she said nothing. “I almost killed a human who had bonded with a fellow cyborg. I didn’t comprehend how he could trust her. I’ve taken the council’s side every time there was dissension in the ranks. I believed Parlis always had the future of our race as a priority. I now see my error. Ice loves Megan. He wasn’t betraying his own kind to choose her above all else.”
She reached up to gently stroke his cheek. There was no censure in her gaze. “Did you kill her?”
“No. She lives.”
“You didn’t understand what love was.”
“No. I believed she fooled him into believing she wasn’t a threat to our race.”
“You feel guilty now?”
“I do.”
“It’s normal.”
“I feel bad.” He wasn’t sure how else to explain it. “I want to fix it but I doubt that is possible.”
“Is he on this shuttle?”
“No. Fleet is in command of this trip. Everyone is given downtime on Garden and we change out crews to prevent them from spending too much time in space.”
“Contact the man if you’re able and apologize. It’s all you can do.”
“There’s more.”
“All right.”
“I terrorized another woman who belonged to Steel. I believed she was a threat and would have done anything to make her talk. I—”
She stopped stroking his skin and one finger pressed against his lips.
“Shush. This is all new to you, isn’t it? Is she alive? Did you hurt her?”
He turned his head slightly to move her finger. “She’s alive and well. I frightened her but no serious damage was done.”
“That’s good. Apologize to them too. It will help you feel better.”
He sincerely doubted that. More of his actions over the decades haunted him. He’d been completely beholden to the cyborgs who’d freed him from misery. It was his way of thanking them by giving the council his full loyalty and commitment to their orders. Some of their commands hadn’t been easy to implement but he’d done everything they’d asked. It had made him very unpopular with certain cyborgs. All their resentment seemed appropriate now.
“Blackie?”
He held Eve’s gaze.
“Everyone screws up. All you can do is learn from your mistakes and try to become a better person. We live a long time. That just means we’re bound to have more regrets than most. Give yourself a break.”
Cyborgs weren’t created to make errors. He didn’t share his thoughts but took her wisdom into account. He debated what emotion he felt, not sure if it was fear or worry.
“You can try to fix things, Blackie.”
Her words drew his attention and he carefully chose his response. “I believe it’s possible that some of the enemies I’ve made could use this opportunity to gain retribution for the things I’ve done in the past.”
“You mean they might use me to hurt you back?”
“Yes.”
“I’m not easy to kill.” Her chin rose in defiance. “They could try. I haven’t survived this long by being some cream puff.”
Her verbal communication skills bemused him but he understood the meaning behind the words. “They could make it difficult for us once we reach Garden. They may argue that you’re more cyborg than human. You were created in a laboratory the way we were.”
“You’re worried they might separate us?” She shook her head. “Let them try. You’re my mate and I don’t want another husband.” She shivered in his arms, her revulsion clear. “I dare them to order me to allow someone besides you to touch me.” Her hand raised, claws sliding from her fingertips. “I’d castrate anyone who tried.”
He believed she would and amusement struck. “You’re incredibly arousing when you threaten to mutilate other cyborgs.”
She smiled at him. “Do you want to know the great thing about quickies? They can turn into more. We could just call what we did a w
arm-up.” She jerked her head toward the bed.
Temptation was strong. “I need to contact a few of the alliances I’ve made. I don’t want to reach Garden unprepared for any scenario.”
“You want your friends to meet us there so you have backup?”
“Yes.” She really did have entertaining language skills.
“Cool. You do that and I’ll go use the cleansing unit to give you a little privacy.” She winked. “Then it’s round two.”
His dick stiffened, more than interested. “I’ll hurry.” It was tough to ease her away from the wall when he didn’t want to release her. He managed though, his concern for her future paramount. His sexual desires could wait.
He faced the exterior door panel the moment she stepped into the unit and placed his hand on the sensor, linking to the onboard computer. Irritation quickly narrowed his gaze when it blocked him from communications. Fleet had attempted to prevent him from reaching anyone on Garden. Blackie hacked the system until he had control. He had a lot of enemies but he also had high-ranking friends.
“I need to present facts,” he informed Zorus when the council member answered. “Are you aware of what a canine unit is?”
The silence over the link made Blackie anxious.
“Yes.”
Rage gripped Blackie. “You agreed to leave them behind on Earth?”
Zorus allowed his displeasure to be known by his terse attitude when he responded. “Why would we steal four-legged beasts from Earth? The security teams used those animals to help contain us. They weren’t friendly or cooperative. It would have been a waste to attempt to retrain them if we’d stolen some.”
“I’m talking about the women. The ones they created and designated them ‘canine units’.”
“My only reference for canine units is the animals on leashes that some of the guards walked the perimeter with. Were they enhanced in some way? I wasn’t aware of that. Are you informing me that you’ve learned of cyborg canine units? The human women you rescued had classified information? I was informed they are possible spies. Do you have proof they are military?”
Blackie relaxed, certain the council member was being honest. Zorus was known for his bluntness. “The report you received is incorrect. They aren’t spies. Earth Government mixed human and canine DNA to create women. Some of the council members were aware. They made a pact with the canine women. If they helped us escape from Earth they could escape with us but the cyborg leaders didn’t keep their bargain. Those women were left behind to die.”
Zorus didn’t respond.
The link was still active when Blackie checked. “Did you hear me? They appear to be human but they have canine enhancements. Earth Government killed all but two of them after our escape. They were slaughtered in retaliation for coming to our aid.”
“Start from the beginning and tell me how you came by this information. Is it reliable?”
Blackie turned his head and opened his eyes, glancing at the active cleansing unit. “My source is very reliable and she’s one of the two survivors. The women we rescued are canine units. You’re being lied to if you were informed they are merely human.” He told the council member everything he had learned.
Eve wrapped a towel around her body and stepped out of the cleansing unit. Blackie stood by the door with his hand pressed to the panel. The stillness of his body assured her that he remained in communication with whomever he had contacted. She didn’t disturb him, guessing he was aware of her presence. She sat on the bunk.
It was a little sad, knowing she was the cause of his distress. The confessions he’d made about some of the things he’d done deeply disturbed him. She didn’t regret finding him though and would figure out a way to help him deal with his regrets. They’d face whatever happened together, good or bad.
He ended the transmission when he tore his hand off the panel and spun. His dark gaze sought her and he approached. She studied his expression. He slowly lowered to his knees in front of her.
“I spoke to one of the council members. He wasn’t aware of the canine project.”
“Is that good or bad?”
“It’s excellent news. He’s outraged. He promised to meet us when we arrive on Garden. I expect issues to arise.”
“What kind?”
He paused. “My access had been limited to my quarters.”
“What does that mean?”
“Fleet removed my access to the computer and the shuttle’s functions. He attempted to stop me from contacting Garden but I was able to bypass his efforts. He’s also removed me from the duty schedule and issued an order for me to remain in our quarters. I’m to have no contact with any other cyborgs, per his instructions.”
That wasn’t good and she knew it. “We need weapons.”
“We’ll be fine once we reach Garden. Zorus and some of his trusted associates will be there in case Parlis has arranged for our arrest to keep us separated from the population.”
“You think he’d really try to shove us into some hole to keep us quiet?”
“We don’t have any below-ground holding cells.”
“You know what I mean. Or maybe not.” She had to remember he sometimes took her words too literally. “Do you think he’ll try to keep us from talking to anyone?”
“Yes. It won’t be possible though. As I said, Zorus is now aware of the situation and will take measures to prevent us from being detained.”
It sounded too easy. “What if Parlis orders this Fleet guy to toss us out an airlock before we reach your planet? We need weapons, Blackie.” Danica was vulnerable. “We need to get to the cargo hold.”
“I contacted Gene to update him on the situation and check their welfare. Your littermate is safe.”
“He’ll protect her?”
“Yes.”
She didn’t know the other cyborg well enough to be certain she could entrust Danica’s life to him. “He’d risk his neck to save her? Even if his superior officer ordered him to stand down?”
“Gene will kill if necessary to prevent harm from coming to Danica.”
He seemed sure and she was willing to trust his judgment. “I think it’s better if the four of us stick close together. How many cyborgs are on this shuttle?”
“Fourteen.”
“Those aren’t good odds.”
“The medic wouldn’t harm women. I contacted him as well. He’ll warn us if Fleet plans an attack.”
“Isn’t that the dude you were fighting with in the hallway after I woke up? I hate to break it to you but he really seemed intent on smashing your face. I’m sure I didn’t score any brownie points when I tried to pounce on him.”
“We called a temporary truce due to our mutual stance on this issue.”
“You mean you both want to keep me alive until we reach Garden?”
“Exactly. Varion has a soft spot when it comes to Earth women.” He sighed. “I thought it was a flaw but now I’m grateful.”
“Did you tell him that?”
“No.”
“You probably should express yourself better. It will go a long way to show people that you’re changing.”
His hands lifted and settled gently on her thighs. “Some will view it as weakness.”
I’m the weakness. I’ll be the reason they think that way. She wanted to kiss him but refrained. “Loving someone takes a lot of courage. The ones who have a problem with us being together probably just haven’t experienced it yet.”
“You’re correct but it doesn’t make it a lesser probability that our situation will become an opportunity for some to seek retribution for the things I’ve done. I have made many enemies.”
She hated to see his worried expression. “As I said, I’m tough, baby. We’ll face anything that comes our way together.” She unleashed her claws. “You guys are strong but you bleed.”
“Calm,” he rasped, reaching for her.
She retracted her nails, preventing the sharp points from pricking his skin when he held her hands. �
�I’m trying but you have no idea how crazy I feel inside when I think about losing you after I finally found you again.”
“I believe you but that doesn’t mean I want to see you in battle. Please promise to get behind me if an issue arises.”
“Don’t do that.”
“Do what? What have I done?” He tilted his head slightly, peering at her with a frown.
“Pull that macho crap. I can fight.”
“You don’t have the strength of a cyborg.”
“I can still do some serious damage.”
“We can shut down our pain receptors at will. Are you able to do that?”
“No.” She saw where he headed with his logic. “But I highly doubt you guys get as pissed as I do. I might be small but I’d bet that I’m way meaner.”
He had the nerve to smile. “You’re mine to protect.”
“Macho bullcrap,” she muttered but inched closer until her mouth lined up with his, sharing the same air they breathed. “It kind of looks sexy on you. Kiss me before you get more irritating.”
He closed the gap and tried do as she’d demanded. Eve pounced, knocking him back until both of them landed in a heap on his floor with her on top. She straddled his lap as she lifted up by pushing against his chest, giving him a grin. His mouth hung wide open in surprise.
“Oh? What’s that? A little chick flattened a big bad cyborg.”
Dark eyes narrowed, the only warning he gave, before he rolled. He moved fast for someone so big, grabbed her wrists and jerked them above her head as they flipped over. His weight crushed her under him.
“Now what will you do?”
She spread her legs a little wider and wrapped them around his waist. “Get nailed on the floor?”
“Nailed?”
She wiggled her hips, rubbing her sex against the front of his hard cock, trapped inside his pants. “Take me.”
He licked his lips and his gaze lowered to her mouth. “The bed is softer. You could bruise.”
He wanted her and she knew the feeling. All those decades of having a missing mate without any sexual outlet had built up. Just being close to Blackie and feeling him was enough to send her libido into overdrive. Her nipples ached where they were smashed against his chest. The towel had come off somewhere during the time she’d knocked him onto his back and when he’d reversed their positions.
Haunting Blackie Page 11
