by Carrie Stone
He smiles, his arms loosening around me yet his sparkling eyes not leaving my lips. ‘I’ve wanted to do that since the moment I met you. And I wish I had because that was pretty awesome.’
He leans in again and gently kisses me on the lips. This time he tastes salty and I can feel his stubble graze against my chin. Butterflies dance in the pit of my stomach and a lustful longing I haven’t felt in what feels like forever, burns inside me.
‘Are you guys coming back to join the party or planning to hang out down there smooching?’
I look up, still in Spencer’s embrace. Tilly is leaning over the side of the boat, staring down at us in the water, a grin on her face.
‘Is there no such thing as privacy around here?’ Spencer jokes, slowly releasing me before making a grab for the beer can, floating past us. ‘Fine. We’re coming now.’
By the time we’ve made it back onto the boat, Jools has turned up the speaker volume and dance music blasts out around us. With the sun shining, the delirious feeling of happiness that’s washing over me and Spencer’s wet, glistering body by my side, I realise I absolutely cannot complain about life right now; everything is pretty much perfect.
Tilly beckons at me to come to the front of the boat and as I reach out to wrap a beach towel around me, Spencer steals another quick kiss.
I join her with a big smile on my face, thankful for the loud music and the fact that the boys have hopped across onto the adjoining boat to get more beers and towels.
‘You two look really happy together. Is it love already?” she jokes, opening a bag of crisps.
‘He’s really nice. I can’t believe you said he’s dull. And he’s so hot,’ I whisper, leaning across to pinch a crisp. I glance across to a boat that’s anchoring nearby and realise with surprise that we’ve been joined by at least half a dozen others. ‘Gosh, it’s got busy. When did that happen?’
‘That’s why I called you up here,’ Tilly says, suddenly serious. ‘Don’t look immediately but to our left there’s a bigger yacht with a US flag – that’s my boss, Daryl.’
Unable to help myself, I look across and spot the boat she’s referring to. A woman – tall, slim, blonde with a model-like figure – stares back at me. She’s standing at the side of the boat sipping from a champagne glass. I quickly avert my eyes.
‘Who’s the woman? I thought your boss was a guy?’
‘He is, that’s his wife, Christie.’ Tilly glances across, more subtly than I did, and wrinkles her nose. ‘She’s twenty-seven and used to be a Vegas showgirl.’
‘She looks it,’ I reply, taking another crisp. ‘Anyway, why are you so serious? You hate your boss and it’s the weekend. You’re allowed to be out here enjoying yourself.’
She drags her eyes back to me and shrugs. ‘Yes, I know. I’m just saying, that’s all.’
‘More beers guys,’ Jools shouts, interrupting our conversation as he walks towards us, followed by Spencer.
I inwardly groan. I don’t want to be a spoilsport but I also don’t want to get drunk in the midday sun. ‘Not for me, thanks. Think I’m going to go back into the water for a bit.’
I catch Spencer’s eye and he smiles. ‘Me too. I think I’ll join you, Everly.’
I smile back.
It’s five hours later before we decide to call it a day. We’re all feeling worse for wear thanks to the heat, sunburn and drinking. I pat myself dry as I dig through my bag looking for my playsuit. The boys are dealing with untying the boats and pulling up the anchor.
‘It’s been a fun day, hasn’t it?’ Tilly says from the seat opposite. ‘I don’t think I’ll be going out later though.’
I look up in horror. ‘God no, I’m definitely not up for going out later. It’s already gone five. By the time we get back it’ll be nearly half six. I’ll be too tired to start getting ready. Let’s have a night in.’
‘Oh no, I meant I was supposed to be meeting Cullen.’ She pulls on her top, readjusting her hair. ‘But I agree, it’s too much of a rush.’
‘Sorry, I didn’t realise you meant Cullen,’ I reply, wondering why she hadn’t mentioned seeing him again earlier when I asked her. I privately muse on our friendship, which isn’t the solid, tell-each-other-our-darkest-secrets relationship I thought it was going to be. Living together hasn’t brought us any closer. I put the last of the floats back into the storage and close the lid.
‘Are you all set guys?’ Spencer calls across. I notice he’s put his T-shirt back on and his arms look a deep golden brown.
‘Yes, we’re going now,’ Tilly calls out, starting up the engine. I look across at Jools and he waves goodbye. ‘See you soon, I guess.’
Spencer walks up to the part of his boat nearest to ours, shielding his eyes from the sun as he waves to me. ‘I’ll buzz you in the week – if you’re about, maybe we can do dinner or something.’ He doesn’t wait for me to answer and instead shouts his goodbye to Tilly.
I wave and before I’ve had a chance to even register the prospect of another impending date, Tilly is already reversing the boat and turning us in the direction of home.
It seems to take forever to reach the marina and when we finally manage to moor the boat and trudge our tired bodies, bags and cool box to the door of the apartment, it’s all we can both do not to tumble into the flat and straight into sleep.
‘I might have a nap,’ Tilly says and I heartily agree.
‘That’s a bloody good idea.’ I’m aware that it’s a Saturday evening and even though I’m not going out I do have school work that needs attending to. I promise myself a quick half hour and then an attempt at some marking. The bed feels like heaven as I fall into it and I barely have a chance to process the happy turn of the day’s events before I feel myself falling into a slumber.
*
‘Amy called when you were asleep.’
The aroma of curry fills the air and a ravenous feeling engulfs me. Tilly is stood at the hob stirring something and I can see two plates on the side, ready for serving.
‘Wow, I slept a lot longer than I intended.’ I walk across to the kitchen and peek into the frying pan. ‘Looks delicious. It’s unlike you to cook though.’ I’m teasing but it’s half-true. I’ve seen her cook twice since I arrived.
‘Hope you don’t mind, I saw the things you bought in the fridge and thought I might as well cook us something.’
I don’t tell her that she’s used what was essentially four days of food to make one meal and instead nod my head encouragingly. ‘Of course not. Fantastic. Have I got time to call Amy back?’
‘Yes, it’s not ready yet.’ She has such a look of concentration on her face, it’s all I can do not to laugh.
‘OK, I’ll be back in ten.’ I walk back to my room, dialling Amy on Skype as I do so. Since our conversation that first week when she was off with me, I’ve felt it best to keep what she could consider ‘bragging’ to minimal levels and so far it seems to be working; our relationship has been at a happy medium. The phone barely rings before she answers.
‘Hey, oh, thank god you’re there.’ Her hushed and urgent tone makes my heart skip a beat.
‘Is everything OK?’
‘Yeah fine. It’s just…’ She stops and hesitates. ‘I need to tell you quickly before Jack gets back…’
‘Tell me what?’ I can hear the worry in my own voice and wait impatiently for her to continue. A dozen awful scenarios run through my mind.
‘Well, last month there was this competition in Take Five magazine and I sort of applied. It was a competition to write a short novel and part of the prize was publication and obviously all that goes with it. Except I didn’t apply under my own name but a pen name.’
Shocked, I look at the screen quizzically. ‘You wrote a novel?’
‘The other part of the prize was two thousand pounds.’ She stops for a moment whilst I try to keep up with her. ‘Well, I’ve gone and won, haven’t I! They called me today and now I’ve probably got to be featured in the magazine and everythin
g.’ She sounds ridiculously high-pitched, even for her.
‘You’ve won two grand?!’ My head is spinning. ‘Hang on, so you wrote a book, won the money, plus will have your writing in print and have a magazine mention?’ I laugh at the absurdity of it. This is my little sister, who, although an avid reader and had once been good at school English lessons, I had zero idea was a secret JK Rowling in the making. ‘Bloody hell Amy, this is huge!’
‘But you see the problem is, Jack doesn’t know and he won’t be happy.’ I suddenly realise that she’s not as excited as she should be. In fact, Amy’s tone is full of worry.
‘What do you mean? Don’t be stupid, of course he’ll be happy. This is amazing!’
She goes quiet and I start to wonder if maybe she knows something that I don’t.
‘Jack doesn’t want me working, he’s already told me that before. I didn’t tell you because I felt stupid. It started after I had Lily and wanted to do that hairdressing course.’
A vague recollection of Amy talking about hairdressing pops into my head and I stay silent as she continues.
‘But he put his foot down and said he didn’t think it was right for me to do it. So I shelved that idea, then we had Harry and I thought about getting a part-time job I’d seen an advert for, but Jack said no. He said the best place for me was at home being with the kids.’
I think of Jack, with his sweet gentle ways and find it hard to put Amy’s words into his mouth. Shocked by her admission, I struggle for something to say. I had no idea Amy had ever had a desire to work. After all, she’d told me many a time that she was perfectly happy being a stay at home mum, hadn’t she?
‘But you’re going to tell him, right? Because maybe he didn’t mean things in the way you’ve taken them. There’s no way he won’t be both proud and happy for you.’
She doesn’t hesitate to answer. ‘For now, no, I’m not going to tell him. There’s no need. Not until things are at least underway.’
‘What’s this book about?’ I ask, suddenly wondering how the hell she managed to write an entire book without me knowing. ‘I’m a bit sad you didn’t feel you could tell me you were doing that; when did you even write it?’
She fills me in on the details and I learn that it’s something she’s been dipping in and out of for the last year but was too self-conscious to speak about.
I hear Tilly’s voice calling me from the kitchen. I glance at the clock and realise I’ve already been far longer than I planned, so I begin to wrap up the call.
‘Look, just think about telling Jack. This is potentially going to be the start of something wonderful for you and he’s a part of it too. Besides, how are you planning to hide the two grand?’
‘I thought maybe I could put it into your savings account or something?’ she ventures meekly. ‘You know, until I actually need it…’ She tails off and waits for me to say something.
I try not to sigh, knowing full well that it’ll make life complicated if I let her involve me in her lie. But what can I say, she’s my sister. ‘Well, I think you’re making a huge mistake not telling Jack. But while you think on that point, yes, you can put the money in my account.’
‘Thanks sis.’
There’s such relief in her voice, it makes me second guess myself about Jack.
‘Right, I have to go because Tilly’s cooked dinner. I’ll call you in the week and we can talk properly about it. Send me the manuscript though, I’d love to have a read.’
She reluctantly agrees and we hang up. I’m still in a daze as I walk into the kitchen and sit down at the dining table to the slap up curry that awaits me.
‘Amy OK?’ Tilly asks absent-mindedly, as I take a sip of the orange juice she’s poured for me.
‘She’s won a competition to have her novel published and some cash to go with it.’
Tilly stops mid-forkful and looks up. ‘What? Amy has?’ She sounds as shocked as I feel.
‘Yes, I know. I’m stunned – I didn’t even know she liked to write.’
‘Blimey, that’s brilliant.’
‘I know, right? Just goes to show though that everyone has a bit of a hidden side. Who’d have thought?’ I laugh and look up, not expecting to see the shadow of anxiety that passes across Tilly’s face. I briefly wonder if she’s hiding something from me, too. There’s something about her that I can’t quite put my finger on of late.
‘This is really good,’ I say, dispelling the weird tension between us and point with my knife to the curry. And it is, much better than I was expecting.
‘I’m probably going to head out tonight, after all.’
Looking at Tilly in surprise, I swallow the mouthful of food I’m chewing. ‘With Cullen?’
‘Yeah, he just messaged and asked if I still fancied a drink. So I think I’ll go for it. I feel much more refreshed now I’ve had a nap.’
‘When does he leave with his ship?’ I ask, remembering he’s a porter and wondering how long cruises dock before they set off again.
‘Oh, I think he mentioned he’s off next week and back the week after. Seems like he’s changing onto one that stays a while.’
‘That’s handy then.’ I sip my drink, the curry heat finally getting to me. ‘Makes it easier to see one another if he’s staying in Bermuda for longer.’
‘It does. But I doubt anything will come of it. It’s just a bit of fun for now.’
‘Famous last words,’ I say, laughing. She rolls her eyes and continues eating.
It’s gone nine by the time Tilly goes off to meet Cullen. I’ve had three jokey back and forth messages with Spencer and I find myself sinking back onto my bed with a happy grin. It’s such a pleasant feeling being so at ease with life again.
In that moment, I’m overcome with the realisation that maybe it was my insecurities that were the root of my unhappiness. I had simply spent far too long comparing myself with everybody else, always assuming that I was missing out on life whilst everyone else was easing through it, steps ahead of me, which I realise now – with hindsight – was ridiculous.
I understand now that it doesn’t matter where you are – here in paradise or the abyss, there will always be imperfections. Take Tilly, with her tetchiness and vagueness; it’s clear that she’s hiding something from me that she feels unable to share. And then there’s Amy, who I never would’ve expected to conceal things from Jack. Both have secrets they’re carrying. Neither are entirely satisfied or happy in life. The stark awareness hits me that I’d lost sight of the fact that nobody’s life is perfect because at the end of the day, don’t we all have a cross to bear?
Thankful that I’ve finally found a place, people and circumstances that have helped me overcome any self-doubt, I get up and pad into the living room with a heap of marking under my arm. Sadly, it’s not all fun and games but I wouldn’t trade my newfound happiness for the world.
Chapter 9
‘But can’t you just search for another job?’ I say, taking a sip of my cappuccino.
Abbi shakes her head next to me before Tilly can answer. ‘No, it doesn’t work like that here. You generally can’t apply for new jobs whilst you live here.’
Tilly shrugs us both off, signalling to the waiter as she does so. ‘Never mind, I’ll just have to put up with him. I’ve worked for worse assholes in my lifetime.’
‘At least you get a lot of holiday leave,’ I venture, trying to make her feel better. And I do understand how she feels about her boss because I also, once upon a time, worked for a merciless dragon. Except Daryl, Tilly’s managing partner, sounds a whole lot worse.
‘Yeah, you definitely get a lot of holiday leave,’ Abbi chips in, her tone exaggerated. I can see her musing on this and I can’t help but agree. Tilly always seems to be off work for some reason or another.
The waiter appears and we wait as Tilly orders another green tea – apparently part of her new health detox that I’m estimating will last no more than two days.
‘So, where’s Spence taking you later t
hen?’ Abbi asks me, her brown eyes filled with intrigue. ‘You do realise you’re the envy of a lot of women in my office. He’s quite the catch.’
‘He’s cooking for her at his place,’ Tilly cuts in, smirking. ‘Talk about playing Romeo.’
Tutting at Tilly with a playful shake of my head, I turn back to Abbi. ‘Yes he’s going to cook for me, I think it’s rather sweet.’
‘That’s because he’s a sweetheart,’ Abbi replies.
I catch sight of the clock on the wall of the café we’re sitting in and hurriedly take a last gulp of my coffee. ‘Sorry guys, I’m going to have to run. I’ve got to get back to school.’ Picking up my purse from my bag, I drop money on the table to take care of the bill.
‘No worries, this one’s on me,’ Abbi says, handing me back the cash. ‘Enjoy your evening with Spencer, we look forward to the update tomorrow from his bed…’ She winks and Tilly laughs beside her.
‘Third date sex, never in a million years,’ I reply in mock shock, knowing that isn’t strictly true and avoiding Tilly’s raised eyebrow. I say my goodbyes and head out from the café onto Front Street, walking past a parade of make-up and perfume shops into the blistering heat. Across the road, I can see the water rippling gently, the sun glistening on its surface. A car passes with SoCa music playing so loudly I can feel its vibration and I feel myself smiling. I’m so looking forward to later. It was quite unexpected to get the call from Spencer asking if I’d be up for dinner at his, but a part of me is thrilled and intrigued as to where a private evening together will lead. The last couple of times I’ve been around him brought out such a fierce sexual energy within me – one that I’m unsure I want to tame, now that I’ve discovered it. Plus, he’s coming across so different to other guys I’ve dated. He’s not one of those charmers I’ve vowed to steer clear of. He’s kind, friendly and well-mannered. And he makes me feel incredibly hot. So why not throw caution to the wind and enjoy myself whilst it lasts? A sort of temporary holiday fling. Yes, why on earth not?
