by Brynne Asher
“Please, stop. I promise you won’t have to do anything. I won’t even let it affect your life,” I cry, starting to sob. I can’t open my swelling eye and I’m trying to catch my balance.
“A kid? A fucking kid? I told you ‘no’ so many fucking times—even after having to put up with you begging and whining for one,” he spits and I smell the liquor on his breath.
I bring my hand up to my eye and start to turn away when I’m all of a sudden pushed with such strength and absolute brute force that, without being able to do anything to stop myself, I land against the wall in the dining room with my arm taking the initial impact. Like a rag doll, I fall to the ground in pain so acute it almost makes me forget about my eye. I try to roll but my left arm is now useless.
“Is it even mine?” he screams. Leaning down close, he keeps on at the top of his lungs. “Is it even fucking mine, bitch?”
I hear him turn away, his steps moving him toward our bedroom. I try to even my breathing, until I hear him come back again. His steps are quicker this time and I barely get my good eye open enough to see his foot come at me. His slim black patent-leather dress shoe connects directly with my lower abdomen with what feels like all the strength he could muster.
“That’ll teach you not to test me, Leigh. Don’t ever fucking test me again.”
And I feel it.
I know.
Don’t ask me how but I know.
Minutes later after he leaves and I’m alone again, the blood starts to seep out of my body. As it leaks, the emptiness starts to swallow me. It’s been creeping into my life for years. My cries turn to sobs for my baby I wanted so badly to have and to love.
That’s when the desolation eats me alive and swallows me whole.
I’m gone.
Chapter One
Changes Are Coming
Late October
Leigh
This mahogany table is enormous. Nine, ten, eleven, twelve … yep, it seats twelve. Not only that, but the chairs are big and comfortable. They’re those really dark leather ones that swivel and rock with armrests. The table is stained dark and I have to concentrate to follow the grain of the wood.
I bring up my good arm, which is really my bad arm since I’m left handed but seeing as my good arm is now casted and hanging in a sling, my bad arm is now my good arm. Of course, he would break my good arm.
Honestly.
I didn’t think it was possible for him to find yet another way to add misery to my miserable life, but he did.
With my bad arm that I’m doing my best to make my good arm, I trace the grain of the wood with my index finger. I’ll do anything to avoid looking up and across the mammoth mahogany table at Preston.
I really need this to be over. I don’t understand why I have to be here today. I thought Mr. Carpino told me he would send the papers for me to sign since he rushed this through, but I got a call this morning saying it was important I attend this meeting. I thought this was going to be quick and easy since I want nothing from him. I never thought I would have to see Preston again, making this even more upsetting. But, here I am, doing my best to concentrate on the woodgrain in front of me so I can ignore everything else going on in front of me.
“Leigh.”
I look up and over to see Tony sitting next to me and answer with a distracted, “Hmm?”
He narrows his eyes and I know him enough to know he’s trying to control his frustration. I’ve known Tony since I’ve known Gabby. Gabby is my best friend and has been since the third grade. Tony Carpino is her cousin but they are as close as siblings.
Well, not really like siblings.
Siblings fight and bicker, I should know. I have about the worst relationship with my sister anyone could have with a sibling. No, Tony and Gabby are like best friends who fight and bicker but would do anything for one another. Tony was a year ahead of us in school and since I’ve been a staple in Gabby’s life since we were eight years old, I know Tony well enough to understand the glare he’s giving me. And that glare is pure frustration.
“I’ll repeat myself, Mrs. Briggs. You need to sign these papers. They note the changes we’ve discussed today, in addition to having your last name changed back to your maiden name,” Tony explains slowly. I’m guessing this isn’t the first time he’s explained it to me.
I feel my eyes go big as I gingerly adjust in my seat so my good-bad casted arm doesn’t bump the table and look up at him.
I barely hear my own voice. “What changes?”
I didn’t think it was possible, but his almost black eyes narrow farther and he turns back to my husband’s attorneys. “May I have a moment with my client?”
I look over, doing my best to avoid Preston. The entire group looks pissed now—a new look for them since they waltzed in here quite smug only twenty minutes ago.
One of them blurts, “Sure, why not? Let’s see what else she can change her mind about.”
Tony, almost but not quite, slams his hands to the table, forcefully thrusting his chair back, again hinting to his level of frustration. Nevertheless, he carefully pulls my chair out, turns it and takes my new good elbow to help me up. Leading me out of the conference room, he shuts the door in back of us and walks me down the hall about ten feet, turning while crossing his arms over his chest.
Now, I’m tall for a girl at five-nine. He only has five inches on me but it still seems like he’s towering over me with his stance, not to mention the glare on his face. I’m starting to realize today isn’t turning out like I thought it would. I guess I need to start paying attention.
I ask, “What’s going on?”
“What’s going on,” he repeats my question to me as a statement.
Odd.
“Yeah, what’s going on, Tony?”
He takes his hand and pulls it through his lush dark brown hair he leaves a little longish. It’s longish enough that it barely turns at the ends over his ears and neck, pushed back on top with a few strands falling to his forehead naturally without looking styled. How he pulls that off while looking like a professional attorney, I have no idea.
He yanks his suit jacket back to put his fists to his hips. His suit fits him perfectly. It’s a man’s suit, not like the suits Preston wears with that metro-sexual look to them. No, Tony’s is so dark grey it’s almost black with just a hint of stripe you can scarcely detect without looking closely. It fits his tall, muscular frame perfectly. I should know. I used to have a thing for men in suits. It’s what attracted me to Preston in the beginning, but that was back when I found his slim cut, metro-sexual suits attractive.
But not anymore. No more men in suits.
Wait. Back up.
No more men. Period.
Trying to get my mind off Tony’s suit, I ask, “Where is your dad by the way? I thought he was representing me.”
“He had an emergency with another client and asked me to fill in since all that needed to be done was to sign the paperwork. But when I went over your case this morning, I changed my mind about you signing the paperwork.”
My voice turns strangled. “What do you mean you changed your mind?”
Tony throws his question back at me. “Do you know how much money he has, Leigh?”
“Uh, yeah. I am married to him.”
“Then you need to take him to the bank.”
“I’m not taking him to the bank.”
“Why the hell not?” Tony bursts, his frustration peaking even more.
“I don’t want anything from him. Your dad knows this—I’ve told him repeatedly. You should know this too, you work for your dad’s firm. I’ve also told Gabby the same thing. Certainly she’s filled you in the way you two talk. Can I just sign and get this over with?”
“Leigh, you don’t have a job,” he reminds me of yet another depressing detail of my ever-depressing life.
“I know. I’ll get one after my arm heals, and well, all the other stuff heals.” I end on a breath because it feels like a knife in my gut every
time I think about the baby I’ll never know or get to hold. The baby I wanted so badly, even if it was Preston’s.
Tony’s face softens and his body relaxes.
“Leigh,” he lowers his voice. “You need the money to start a new life for yourself.”
“I don’t want anything from him. I can take care of myself. I’m used to it.”
All of a sudden, his expression changes again and he becomes intense. His gaze sweeps my face, body, my casted arm, finally settling back on my eyes. He pulls in a breath and looks to the ceiling. I hope this is Tony’s exasperated-giving-in-look, but I have a bad feeling about things when he looks back to me.
He asks, but at the same time I sense it’s more of a reminder, “The firm is doing this pro bono?”
“Um, yeah.”
Gabby’s dad was a partner here before he died in a car accident four years ago. Gabby now holds stock in the firm. But not just that, Tony’s dad took one look at me and said he wouldn’t accept a penny even though I tried to set up a payment plan.
In an instant, Tony’s soft-intense-frustrated-exasperated looks disappear into thin air. He looks down at me, smug and cocky-like, tipping the side of his mouth. “I guess that means you don’t have much of a say in how this goes, now then, does it?”
With that, he moves around me with purpose and I hear him open the door to the conference room while barking out to Preston’s attorneys, “Right. Let’s get this done.”
I’m left standing in the Carpino Law Partners posh hallway unable to move. He can’t do that. Can he do that? I turn to move my slowly healing body back to the massive mahogany table and decide it’s time to pay attention.
Tony picks up where he left off before our hallway huddle. “Sign here, Mrs. Briggs.”
My heart begins to beat fast because I don’t know what to do. I’m pretty sure I should have a say in how my own divorce goes, especially when my husband has beat the shit out of me for years and just two weeks ago beat me so badly I lost our baby. I’m still so tired and beat down in every way a person can be, the only thing I have the energy to do is look up at Tony and mutter, “I really don’t—”
But I shut my mouth the minute he levels his eyes on mine. The searing look he’s giving me doesn’t invite another peep. I grudgingly snatch the pen out of his hand and scribble my married name on every paper he shoves in front of me.
“I have to tell you Carpino,” one of Preston’s attorneys’ growls as he starts slamming files back into a briefcase. “I thought more of your firm than this. Your father and uncles are class acts, but you blindsiding us today with this shit is uncalled for. We had a deal before we walked in here. I see the next generation of Carpinos are building a different reputation for this firm. Good to know.” He ends his rant with sarcasm.
But Tony is totally at ease, as if he’s chatting it up with a neighbor over the hedgerow. “My client changed her mind.”
“Yeah, I can see she changed her mind.” The way the attorney says it makes me look up but all I see is Preston pinning me to my big leather chair with the daggers he’s shooting at me through his deep hazel eyes.
What I once found alluring and attractive, I now fear and hate with everything I am. His light brown hair is styled in its usual made-to-look-messy way and his lean tall, but ever so strong frame, is tense and as foreboding as usual. I know first-hand just how strong he is and have become trained to panic when I see him like this. I squeeze my eyes shut to look away. I never want to see him again.
“You have five business days to respond to our offer or we’ll see you in court. By reading the first paragraph of the police reports we all know what a judge will say. I’ll look forward to hearing from you. I hope I don’t have to remind your client of the restraining order my client has against him. He had better not breathe her air or we’re calling the police.” Tony is totally relaxed, leaning back in his big leather chair as if he’s watching a basketball game or something.
With that, the team of assholes storm out of the conference room while muttering profanities.
Frustrated and now pissed, I stand, turn to Tony. “Why did you do that? I told you I don’t want anything from him. He paid off my student loans when we got married so I’m debt free. I plan on selling my BMW after this is all over and buying something more economical, hopefully I’ll have a little something left from that. I don’t care what my last name is. That’s going to be a pain changing my name on everything. I don’t have the energy for anything Tony, especially extra paperwork. And by the way, since when do I not have a choice on how my own divorce is handled just because your firm is doing this pro bono? Your dad advised me, but in the end, he did as I asked.”
Now, I’m the exasperated one and realize at the end of my tirade I wasn’t paying any mind to Tony’s demeanor. He really is a chameleon the way his emotions change so quickly. Now he’s back to intense. It increases when he takes a step closer—as in pretty damn close—but doesn’t touch me.
My eyes go big with the look on his face as he commences to rock my world. “I don’t care if you never touch that money, but you’re going to have it in case you need it. The answer is no, you don’t get a choice in how this goes. Listen closely, Leigh, and pay attention. If it’s the last thing I do, I’m going to make sure you don’t have any reminders of the evil that controlled your life for so long. I’ll tie myself in knots if I have to, but I’m going to make sure that part of your life is a distant memory, if not erased from your fucking head. That man you were married to is no man and you’re not only going to be rid of him, but you’re going to realize you have a beautiful life. I’ve just got to get you to open your eyes to see it. Changing your name is just the tip of the iceberg, sweetheart. Brace. Changes are coming.”
With that, Tony rounds me and stalks out of the conference room. I slowly blink, trying to get my body to respond to what Tony just threw at me. Changes are coming? What in the hell does that mean?
“Shit,” I mutter out loud.
With no other option, I make the same decision I’ve made about everything else the last two weeks. No, it’s the same decision I’ve been making for the last four years. I can’t think about this now. I’ll think about it later. I turn to walk out of the conference room, heading straight for the reception area to find Gabby since she’s my ride. I need to get the hell out of here.
Gabby is leaning at the reception desk talking to her cousin and Tony’s younger sister, Paige, who just started working here as the receptionist. Paige can’t seem to settle on a career and from what Gabby tells me, she always ends up back here.
“Well?” Gabby asks raising her eyebrows at me. “Is it done? Preston and his attorneys stormed out of here looking none too happy, to say the least.”
I sigh. “I don’t know what’s happening. But I do know it’s not done. Tony made me sign all kinds of new papers, said I don’t get a choice … and well, some other stuff I really don’t understand. Can we go?”
Gabby’s an interior decorator and is dressed to the hilt because she came from a client meeting. She’s wearing a blue and cream scroll print wrap around dress that fits her curves perfectly, showing just enough cleavage to be professionally sexy. I’m normally taller than her, but her spiked blue heels have boosted her higher than me today since I hardly had the energy to slip on a pair of flats. It’s hard getting dressed with only one hand.
Gabby, who insisted on driving me here so I wouldn’t have to come by myself, is now frowning. “I thought it was supposed to be done today.”
“Me too,” I mutter and look to Paige. “See ya later.”
Paige smiles sweetly. “Yeah, I’ll see you soon. How about I make some junk food and bring it over to Gabby’s? We’ll have a movie marathon, anything you want to watch. How does that sound?”
Honestly. Gabby’s family is so nice. Sometimes I don’t know what to do with it all. I try to muster a smile. “Thanks. Sounds fun.”
I need to get out of here. I start to move to the door
as Gabby says goodbye and her shoes click on the marble floors following me. We step into the elevator and I lean to the wall, shutting my eyes.
“Leigh, please. Tell me what happened,” Gabby implores.
“I don’t know. I told you I didn’t want anything from him but your uncle had an emergency. Tony took over and said something about me taking him to the bank and then made me sign all kinds of new papers and then told Preston’s attorneys they had five days to respond or we will see them in court.”
“Tony said you need to take him to the bank?” When I look up, she’s wearing a big smile. I immediately frown and she quickly bites her lip.
“Gabby. There is nothing to be happy about,” I warn. “I told you I don’t want anything from him. I need a clean start, he’s given me plenty to remember and none of it’s good. I don’t want his money on top of everything else.”
“Well, I can’t imagine Tony would do anything that isn’t in your best interest. Maybe you should trust him on this. I know he specializes in Business Law, but this is pretty basic stuff.”
As we walk out of the building, I plead, “Can we just stop talking about this and go home. Or … to your house?”
“Stop it, Leigh. My house is your home and will be for quite some time. I’m not letting you leave. Besides, I think you’ve stolen my dog. She won’t leave your side and doesn’t even sleep with us anymore. What will Mia do if you leave?”
I look over at her as we climb into her Tahoe. Gabby hasn’t let me go anywhere by myself since I was released from the hospital two weeks ago and she moved me into her house. Her boyfriend, Jude, hasn’t officially moved in yet but I’m sure that will happen soon enough. They’re never apart unless they’re working. He’s deeply devoted to her already and they’ve only been together for a couple months. It’s almost hard to be around them right now, but I’m happy for Gabby because he makes her happy. She lost her parents in a horrific car accident. She’s had a rough and lonely couple of years herself. It’s good to see her with someone who makes her face light up.
