by Brynne Asher
The minute she sees me, her face screws up and she starts crying. She comes straight into my arms where I hold her tight. Once I calm her down, Tony and I load her up and take her straight to the treatment center. Along with all the toiletries and bags of new clothes I bought for her before she got here. I had a feeling she wouldn’t have much of anything and I was right.
I contacted a drug treatment center in Panama Beach and she checked herself in there for a few days until we could get her here. The treatment center I chose here is the best in the area, but also the most expensive. I can afford it and this is her chance to turn her life around, I’m just praying she’ll make the best of it.
“She’s still detoxing and will be for at least the next few days. We say no visitors for the first week. We’ll see how she’s doing and let you know when you can see her. I know you paid upfront for the treatment, but I have to remind you, this is a voluntary treatment plan. We can’t make her stay. We will encourage her but won’t force her. She can walk away anytime she chooses,” the manager explains.
“I know. We read the paperwork and were told when I called to reserve her spot last week.” I put my checkbook back into my purse as I feel Tony come up to my side. “I can call and check on her, right?”
“Absolutely. We want you to. This is a precious gift you’re giving your sister, I hope she’ll take advantage of it,” the manager encourages.
“I hope so, too,” I respond. “One more thing. Our mother is in town right now. I have no idea how long she’ll be here, but I’m not sure it’s the best idea for her to see Tina. Our mother, she can be relentless. I’d like to keep her off the visitors list if that’s possible. I haven’t told her where Tina is, but she’s proven to be,” I pause and look up at Tony, his face turns hard at the description of my mother. I look back at the manager and finish. “Resourceful.”
She looks at me with understanding. “We’ll do what we can.”
I sigh, look around and decide to let it go. I’ve done all I can. She wanted to be back in Omaha and I made that happen. She said she was ready to get help and I made that happen, too. Now it’s up to her.
What I really need to do is figure out what to do about my mother. She’s made no plans to leave and she’s about to drive Tony to the looney bin calling him all the time about Tina. I’ve asked him if he regrets giving her his contact information and all he says is, “Better me than you. But your mom’s a pain in the ass.”
Don’t I know it.
As we make our way to the lobby, I hear my phone ring and pull it out to look down at the screen. Speaking of the devil, or the she-devil as the case may be, I sigh and answer my phone.
“Mom,” I answer coolly.
“It’s time you talk to me, Leigh. That man can’t keep you away from me forever and I need to know what’s going on with Tina,” she demands, like she has the right to demand anything in this situation, which she absolutely does not.
I look to Tony and his face has turned to stone hearing it’s my mom. He holds his hand out to me for me to give him my phone. I give him a shake of my head to which he sighs, shakes his own head and looks to the ceiling.
On my own exasperated sigh, I say to my mother, “I’m taking care of it. She’s getting the help she needs but it’s up to her. That’s all you need to know.”
“That’s all I need to know? Where is she at?” she yells through the phone.
“She’s safe and she’s getting help. No one can see her right now anyway.”
“You have to tell me where she is, Leigh.”
“You know what, mom? I don’t have to do anything. I’m the one with the connections who found her, I’m footing the bill, and I’m the one who arranged for her to get help. She needs to focus on getting better, not dancing around the drama you lay at her feet. Leave her be.”
She has the nerve to sound surprised. “I can’t believe you said that to me.”
“Well, believe it,” I return as I look up and Tony is wearing a grin. I smile back at him and say to my mother, “It’s the new me, what can I say?”
“Well,” she huffs and then goes on to make the declaration, “I’m almost out of groceries!”
“Then you should find a grocery store. I’ve got to go.”
“That was fun,” Tony says.
I frown and cock my head at him. “No, it wasn’t. Nothing is ever fun when it comes to my mother.”
“Sweetheart, I know your mother’s not fun. I was talking about you. Or should I say, ‘the new you,’” he adds.
“Whatever.” I start to move toward the door.
Tony grabs my hand, walking me out of the building. “What do you want to do now?”
“I don’t know. I still need to get a costume for Joe’s party next weekend. You want to go shopping?” I ask brightly.
Tony throws me a glance. “Not really.”
“What are you going to be?” I keep on.
He looks ahead, walking toward his Explorer. “Nothing.”
I stop and pull on his hand. “Nothing? You can’t be nothing.”
He yanks me back to keep me moving. “Yeah I can.”
“But I’m going to be Madonna,” I declare.
Tony glances over with one side of his mouth tipped. “That’ll be fun. I’ve never had sex with Madonna.”
“Stop it. You have to be something.”
“Sorry, gem. Micah throws him a party every year and I’m never anything. The party goes on,” he drawls, opening the car door for me.
“I know,” I start, as he pulls out of the parking lot. “You, Jude, and maybe some of your cousins can be The Village People.”
“Leigh. I am not dressing up like any of The Village People,” he says emphatically.
“Wham?”
“Are you kidding me?”
“Michael Jackson? Like Thriller Michael Jackson?”
“Leigh.”
“Oh my, I know! You should be Ronald Reagan. Just put on a suit and gunk up your hair. I mean, Madonna coming to a party with Ronald Reagan? Liberal versus conservative? That would be so funny.” I smile big because, honestly, that would be funny.
All of a sudden, Tony pulls off the road again into another empty parking lot. I’m feeling a bit of déjà vu, because we did this last week at about this same time.
“What now? Why are you pulling off the road again? I’m fine.”
He throws it into park and releases our seatbelts. Before I know it, his mouth is on mine, tongues tangling with his hands in my hair pulling me to him roughly. His kiss is searing and I hang on trying to catch up because this is not what happened last week when we pulled into a parking lot.
He slows the kiss but doesn’t pull away. Instead, he tips his forehead to mine. We’re both breathing deeply, but I get it together enough to ask, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” he says. “Absolutely nothing is wrong. Your mom is pain in the ass, you just spent some serious money to get your sister here and check her into a drug treatment plan, and your jackass-ex-husband is violating his restraining order. But you’re happy, laughing about costumes, and looking forward to going to a party with me for my crazy family. Gem,” he pauses, holding my face close to his. “You’re back. You’re good. And this makes me so fucking happy, I’ll even be Ronald Reagan for you.”
My tears start to burn and I pull in a breath, looking for the strength I need. “It’s because of you.”
“Love you, gem, but it’s all you. I’m just lucky I got to come along for the ride.”
I lean in and kiss him to communicate he’s wrong. I owe it all to him.
When I pull back, I ask, “You’ll really be Ronald Reagan for me?”
He sighs shaking his head no. “Only for you, Leigh.”
I feel my face break into a smile.
Tony proceeds to kiss the smile right off my face before taking us to Finny.
Chapter Sixteen
Scary Specifically
Leigh
“You loved
St. John?”
Gabby looks over at me, dreamy like, and sighs. “Yeah. St. John was perfect.”
I grin at her as I flip through the racks at the thrift store where she and I are costume shopping for Joe’s party. It’s Thursday evening, Gabby and Jude just got back from their ten-day honeymoon. She has a healthy tan, her hair is even more golden than it usually is in March, but more importantly, she’s radiating happiness. And I couldn’t be happier for my best friend.
“You sure look like it was perfect, Mrs. Ortiz,” I enunciate her new title.
She smiles as she flips through her rack across from mine. So far, Gabby’s not having much luck from lack of concentration, but I’ve found a short black tutu, a skanky tank top that looks like something my mother would wear to church if she went to church, and lots of thick chains for necklaces. I feel like I’m getting closer to getting my eighties Madonna mojo on. The party is Saturday and I’m definitely running out of time.
“I’m sorry things have been far from perfect for you while we were gone. How’s Tina?”
“I talk to her counselors every day,” I explain. “They say she’s on track for the most part, moving through some stages faster, and others slower. I’m just glad she’s still there and hasn’t taken off. If she keeps up her progress I might be able to see her this weekend.”
“That’s great. I’m glad she finally reached out for help and you were able to give it to her. This has been going on with her forever. But what I cannot believe is your mother is still at your apartment. I mean, really? How long do you think she plans on staying?”
“I have no idea and I haven’t slept in my own apartment once. She wants to know where Tina is and I won’t tell her. Tina doesn’t need our mother pulling her off course right now. But I’m really worried about Tony. I think he might lose it soon. He insists on dealing with her so I don’t have to and you know how difficult she can be. She’s even upping her game if you can believe it.” Gabby looks over and raises a brow. “Exactly. Can you imagine? She texted me this morning to tell me her boyfriend is coming tomorrow from South Dakota to stay with her while she’s here. I thought Tony was going to explode when I told him today over my lunch break. I got a text from him two hours later informing me her boyfriend was no longer coming to-quote-unquote ‘freeload’ off of me. His text ended with, ‘if she wants to see him she can get off her ass and head north for good.’”
But Gabby doesn’t look shocked like most people would as I explain my crazy mother. She’s used to my mother’s antics, so instead she’s grins and hums, “Mm-hmm.”
“Mm-hmm, what?”
“You know what I mean, mm-hmm. I’ve never seen my cousin like this, Leigh. If I wasn’t so happy and loved on from my honeymoon, I’d be pissed this didn’t happen years ago for both of you. You wouldn’t have been through what you’ve been through and Tony would have settled down sooner. You’re good for him, Leigh. I know you think you’re the taker in this relationship, but you don’t see it from our perspective. He’s different. Tony’s always been headstrong, but I’ve never seen him this determined about anything. And I don’t know why you want to sleep in your apartment anyway. You can’t have Finny there, what would you do then?”
“Gabby, I can’t move in with him.”
She comes to a standstill at her rack. “He wants you to move in with him?”
I look away and concentrate on my own rack. “Well … maybe.”
I sigh like I do every time I think of my current situation. I don’t want to be apart from Tony, but I can’t move in either. I’ve barely been divorced for two months. What will the Carpinos think of me? No, they’ve done too much for me over the last few months. I cannot move in with him.
“Leigh,” she calls adamantly and I look up to her. With a shocked look on her face she whispers loudly, “Does that mean you’ve finally had sex with my cousin?”
“Gabby!” I shout my whisper back. She does not need to ask me that in the middle of a thrift store.
“Well?” she keeps up her loud whisper.
I purse my lips together to keep from smiling because this is weird. Gabby and I can talk about anything and always used to have BFF sex talks before things went awful with Preston, but Tony is like a brother to her and it would be like talking about my sex life with Paige.
“Holy shit,” she shouts her whisper again. “You had sex with my cousin!”
All of a sudden, we hear a chuckle from the side. Gabby and I instantly turn to see an older man half-grinning at us, clearly entertained by the fact I’ve had sex with her cousin.
Gabby immediately cocks her head and while putting a hand on her hip. “Hello? Move along please, this is a private conversation.”
I close my eyes as the old guy laughs out loud and moves away.
“Well, this could get a little … um … icky since you’re with Tony. I really don’t want the details. But I will ask, are you … uh … happy?”
I grin at my friend. “Yeah, Gab. I’m really, really happy.”
She screws up her face. “Ew. I guess this means we can’t talk about sex anymore.”
“That’s what Tony said when I told him you dragged me with you for the Brazilian Wax,” I mutter.
“Leigh Briggs! Or Johnson! Whatever your name is. You. Did. Not.”
“Sorry. It just popped out. He said he liked it and it was right after our first time, the night of your wedding—”
“You had sex with my cousin for the first time on my wedding night?” she yells out loud this time.
“Lower your voice!” I yell back. “And by the way, thanks for telling him I had a crush on him in high school. That was sacred information.”
She brushes me off. “That was forever ago. It’s not sacred anymore.”
“Still.”
“Okay, fine. I’m sorry.” She doesn’t sound sorry. “Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way and you’ve finally moved your relationship to the next level, why don’t you just move in with him? I mean, you’re practically parents now that you have Finny.”
“I can’t and I won’t,” I say. “But he’s really pushing for it, amongst other things.”
“What do you mean?”
“Hmm?”
“What else is he pushing for, Leigh?”
“Well, this shouldn’t hit the ick zone.” I pause. “He doesn’t want me to go on birth control.”
She looks confused. “Why not?”
I don’t answer but raise a brow and turn to move to another rack. I hear her gasp, feel her hand on my bicep to yank me around toward her, and she whispers for real this time, “What?”
“Yeah.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah,” I repeat. “I can’t talk about it Gabby. I don’t even know what to think about it. I mean, I’ve been divorced for two months, just five months ago I was lying in the hospital, beaten by my husband and lost … everything. I don’t think I’m ready and I really don’t know how I got here with Tony. Not that I don’t want to be here. I do. I think I could want to be here forever. It all scares me right now. This has happened fast and Tony seems so sure about everything. And he tells me he can be patient, which honestly scares me even more because Tony has proven he can be very patient with me.”
“Tony’s ready to get married?” she asks.
“I don’t know. He’s not talked about marriage specifically, but he’s talked about everything else specifically. Scary specifically.”
“What’s stopping you? You just said you want it to be forever.”
“Gabby—”
“Do you love him?”
“Gabby, please—”
“Does he love you?”
At that I clam up and purse my lips. Gabby reaches out to grab my hand and squeezes. Her face softens and her tears pool.
“He loves you,” she says.
I look away. “Gabby, don’t.”
I feel her give my hand a yank and I look back.
“Let him love you, Leigh.”
<
br /> I breathe deep. “I can’t think about this, Gab.”
“No. It’s time to think about it and face it head on. You’ve done this as long as I’ve known you. But really, who can blame you? With your mom the way she is, the way you grew up? The men she had in and out of your house, never making you a priority? Throw you sister into the mix and no one would blame you for the barriers you’ve built. But Preston.” She pauses and her face hardens. Lowering her voice even more she goes on, “What Preston did to you emotionally and physically is unthinkable and evil. No one—not me, not Tony or anyone else—will ever fault you for protecting yourself from reality after living what you’ve lived through. But that is not your reality anymore. Never again will that be your life. It’s time you think things through and let people love you the way you were meant to be loved. There’s so much to love, girlie, you just don’t get it. Trust me, when you let yourself take what the man who loves you is offering to give, there’s nothing more beautiful. Nothing in this world. Let, him, love you, Leigh.”
I don’t answer. I can’t. I pull in a shaky breath to control my own tears so I don’t have a breakdown in the middle of a thrift store.
I know she’s right. The past few months with Tony have been the best of my life when they should have been the worst for every reason under the sun. I’ve even allowed myself to catalogue glimpses of what life would be like with Tony. If I’m honest, during those glimpses I’ve even realized I’ve been so in the moment with Tony, I completely forgot what my life was like five months ago.
“Don’t cry,” Gabby demands. “I’ve never had to deal with an ‘in love’ Tony Carpino, he might wrestle me to the ground and give me a noogie if I bring you home red faced from crying.”
I do my best to blink back my tears. “A noogie?”
“Yeah, a noogie. He did it all the time when we were little, the jerk. Tony giving me a noogie will not make Jude happy and they’ve got that bromance thing going, I don’t want Jude to kick his ass. The harmony of the Carpinos is a delicate thing. Don’t mess it up by crying, okay?” she jokes, trying to lighten my mood.
