by Brynne Asher
I giggle at his text. How I can tell he’s not happy over a text I don’t know, but I can.
Me: Calm down. I’ll explain. See you in a few.
Tony: Shit. Ok.
Now I’m sure I look like a loon laughing at my phone. I can’t help but find him a little funny when he’s frustrated.
Tony was called into work again on his case that blew up this weekend. He’s gone from managing the sale of their company to managing their public relations. They called a press conference this afternoon to start damage control from what has turned into an embezzlement case.
Before I pull out of the parking lot, I send him one more text.
Me: Fried chicken.
After looking at the bubbles on my screen for two seconds, I get a text back.
Tony: Done.
This makes my smile grow even bigger as I pull out of my apartment complex, leaving my mother who is a pain in my ass and after spending the afternoon with my sister in drug treatment. I steer my cute little blue car that I love to Tony’s.
Or if I allow myself to let it be, home.
“You ever stand up to your mom like that before?”
It’s late evening and Tony and I are in bed, him with his back to the headboard, knees up with his feet to the bed, and I’m curled in between his legs wearing nothing but his t-shirt and a pair of panties. Finny is even curled up at the bottom of the bed, out like a light from his walk and then tossing the ball around with Tony in the backyard after our fried chicken drive-thru dinner which cured all remnants of my hang over.
When I let Finny jump up on the bed, Tony gave me a frustrated and meaningful “Leigh,” to which I gave him an “Oh, he’ll be fine,” to which Tony just shook his head, giving in.
“Not really,” I answer. “I normally tried to appease her because it was easier than arguing with her. I was the same with Tina, but she was different today. I can’t help but hope she makes a real recovery this time. I know it’s going to be hard for her, she seems exhausted from living her life not knowing what’s coming next. I think she finally wants to be healthy.”
Tony kisses my head. “I’m proud of you for telling your mom how it is, but I’m fucking thrilled she’s leaving. How you lived with that, I’ll never know.”
“I never knew any different. Not until I met Gabby. I saw how Luka and Meredith were with her and eventually how they loved me. That’s when I realized my mom was crazy with a capital C.”
“That’s one way of putting it,” he mutters as he starts playing with the ends of my hair. After a few moments of silence, he goes on. “I have some news.”
I feel my body go tight and I twist to look up at him, not able to read his face. “What’s wrong now?”
After pausing a few seconds, he says carefully, “I got a call from the DA on my way home from the press briefing. It was about Preston.”
I twist back forward and focus on my sleeping dog at the foot of the bed. “What about him?”
He gives me a squeeze. “I told you they thought it would be hard to get a Manslaughter charge to stick. It was.”
I feel my stomach turn as I close my eyes.
“There’s more,” Tony goes on. “The assault charges are his first offence. He made a deal with the DA’s office, pleading guilty to a lesser charge for no prison time. It’s all going to be finalized tomorrow.”
My stomach drops this time and I open my eyes to look at my dog. I’m not quite sure what to think of all this. I haven’t thought much about what would happen to Preston or how he would pay for what he did to me. I think I was just relieved to be removed from that life, all I could focus on was losing the baby. Then Tony inserted himself and I didn’t have time to focus on much of anything because it took all my energy and headspace to focus on him.
I shrug. “All right.”
“All right? That’s it?” He sounds shocked.
“I guess,” I start. “It went on for so long I was just relieved it was over. I never thought much about what would happen to him.”
I hear and feel him sigh since he’s surrounding me. “He’ll get probation. If he ever violates his probation, he’ll be in deep shit.”
“Okay.”
This time I hear and feel his frustration as he turns me in his arms. I move to face him and he pulls me into his lap. “What are you thinking?”
“I’m not thinking anything.”
“You don’t feel anything?” He’s baffled by my lack of response.
“What do you want me to feel?”
“Pissed, mad, scared, happy it’s over? I don’t know. Something.”
“No. I don’t feel any of those things.”
“Sweetheart,” he starts as he pulls me closer. “No one will judge you for having any of those feelings. But you have to deal with it, whatever it is.”
“I don’t care what happens to him.”
“Are you kidding me?”
“No. Honey, I think this is a good thing. Nothing about Preston makes me happy. And I’m not scared anymore. Trust me, I was scared for so long I can’t tell you how good it feels not to be scared. I don’t want to be pissed about anything either, that’s an exhausting way to live. Preston doesn’t deserve another ounce of my energy for the rest of my life. He’s taken enough from me as it is. But don’t you see, Tony?” I lean into him framing his jaws with my hands. “You gave me that. I feel safe because of you. I don’t want to be pissed because you make me happy. I know what it’s like to live scared and alone. To feel safe and happy is a beautiful thing and you gave me that. But because I have you, I don’t feel anything for Preston anymore. Not one thing. I’ll never take that for granted, Tony. Not ever.”
His brows are pulled together and he’s memorizing me like he does so often. Putting his hands up to my face, he weirdly starts to nod.
“Tony?”
“You’re ready,” he states.
“What?”
“You’re better and you’re ready,” he sort of repeats.
“What are you talking about?”
“You should have seen you, gem. You were broken. You’ve come so far and you’ve done it quickly. I was prepared for the long haul, but you’re better and you’re ready.”
“Ready for what?”
He flips me to the side so I’m on my back. He’s half lying on top of me grinning now. “Ready for what’s next.”
“No, I’m not. Really, I’m not,” I almost plead as his hand dips under his t-shirt making its way up to my breast. I don’t even know what ‘next’ is but when Tony does this he scares the shit out of me in a whole different way.
“Yeah you are.” He leans down to kiss me.
I turn my head to dodge his lips. “Why can’t we just be like this. I’m fine with things the way they are now.”
He pulls my t-shirt up and cups my breast while running the pad of his thumb over my nipple, multitasking. “Gem, you need to pay attention. I told you I don’t want you to have fine. I told you I wanted to give you more than fine and I plan on it.”
“Maybe you should explain what your version of next is.” I fidget under his touch.
Dipping his head, his tongue darts out to taste my neck as he murmurs, “You know what’s next.”
“Tony, stop,” I put my hand to his face to bring it up where I can see him. “We need to talk about this. I want to make you happy and give you what you want, too. But I don’t know when I’ll be ready. I’ve done the wedding thing and I don’t have fond memories. I feel like we’re good the way we are now. Why can’t we just be like this for a while?”
He sighs and looks at me. “We don’t have to have a big wedding.”
I raise my eyebrows like he’s crazy, which he is, and point out the obvious. “You think your family is going to let you have a quiet, small wedding?”
Looking resigned he sticks a hand under my back and rolls so I’m on top. “I’ll figure it out. I promise it won’t be anything you don’t want. I don’t care, just as long as it happens. Soon.”
&
nbsp; “Again, with the ‘soon,’” I mutter.
I feel his hands dip into my panties to squeeze my ass and I look back down at him. “Very soon, gem. I’ve waited for you long enough.”
“Let’s talk about it later,” I say, letting my hand travel down dipping my fingers inside his pajama pants to find him long and hard. I cup him in my hand and he presses into me.
“Don’t think you can distract me. I can make love to you and tell you what I want at the same time.”
“Figures.” I circle his smooth tip with my fingers. “You are a talker.”
Tony surges up bringing us to a sitting position with me straddling him. He whips my shirt off and, as soon as it clears my head, I see him grinning. He flips me to my back, making Finny whine with protest from waking him from his slumber at the foot of the bed.
“You challenging me?” He yanks my panties down my legs, leaving me as bare as the day I was born.
“No!” I exclaim, realizing I don’t need to challenge Tony in anything, especially when it comes to him telling me what next and soon entails.
He reaches over to his nightstand, opens the drawer and grabs a condom. He puts it in between his teeth and mumbles while yanking his pants off, “We won’t need these much longer.”
“Quit saying things to freak me out on purpose.” He’s just teasing me, I can tell.
“We’ll have a big-ass wedding,” he mutters then reaches up and rips the condom open, spitting the wrapper off to the side. “I might let my mother plan the whole thing.”
“Stop!” I say, but my gaze wanders as I watch him roll on his condom, admiring his beautiful body.
“But we need to hurry so we can have a shit load of kids. I want to beat Gabby, maybe I’ll knock you up before the wedding.” He looks down with mischievous eyes as he grabs my knee, lifting it high, positioning himself between my legs. He reaches down to touch me, sliding two easily inside as he asks, “You ready for me, gem?”
I push down on his fingers. “Always.”
“Good,” he murmurs as he pulls his fingers out and surges into me.
I moan, loving the feel of him and draw my other knee up to take as much of him as I can.
“You know I’m shitting you,” he says and I feel his thumb come to my clit, rubbing circles as stays planted inside me deep.
“I know.”
“About the big wedding,” he goes on.
“Tone,” I try and admonish him but it comes out really lame because he’s making me warm.
“And I would never let my mother plan anything,” he adds.
To this I can’t even respond because the warm is turning to tingles.
“But I was serious about everything else,” I hear him say as my tingles turns hot and I do everything I can to press harder into his thumb.
“It’s gonna happen, might as well happen sooner than later,” his voice, rough and deep.
"Please stop talking.”
After a few minutes of Tony torturing me, giving me what I want, I cry out, and he really starts to move. Hard and fast, the way I’ve grown to love it from Tony. Taking me—making me his. I love being his, more than anything.
He leans down to take my mouth, giving me a searing kiss as I feel his body become rigid and tense. He stuffs his face in my neck as he slams into me two more times, staying planted and giving me his weight.
I tangle one leg around his big heavy thigh and keep the other high by his side. He presses into me one more time before he lifts his head and looks down at me.
“Love you,” he breathes on an exhale.
I pause and let that seep through me before uttering the words for the first time without being drunk or demanded to. “I love you, too, honey.”
Tony’s face softens and he dips his head to kiss me. His words come at me as a promise. “Yeah, you’re ready.”
But before I can protest, add to the conversation or, heaven forbid, agree, he pulls out of me and climbs out of the bed to head to the bathroom. I roll over and pull the covers up around me and hear him call for Finny to let him out and put him to bed. Finny jumps down and races out following Tony.
When he returns, he drops his pajama pants again and climbs in bed with me. Rolling into him, I decide quiet is the way to go. I don’t need Tony making me anymore promises or declarations, let alone teasing me in a way that doesn’t really seem like teasing because I think he really means most of it.
“You tired?” he asks.
“Mm-hmm,” I hum into his neck.
I feel his lips come to my forehead. “Goodnight, gem.”
“Night, honey.”
Tony
I turn the corner to my street and start up hill hearing nothing but my running shoes hitting the pavement. The morning light is barely peeking over the horizon. I decided to run outside this morning instead of hitting the gym before work since the warmer weather is supposed to stick around for another few days before the temps are supposed to dip again.
I left Leigh in bed this morning, kissed her and told her I’d see her after my run. Fin jumped into our bed and had his head rested on her stomach while she was scratching his ears. I shook my head at her letting the dog up on the bed for the second day in a row. I couldn’t get upset with her when she grinned, telling me she knew what I was thinking. I’d do anything to see her like that—happy and naked in my bed, even if it means having a dog in it with us.
I slow to a walk as I hit the sidewalk in front of my house. Moving up to the front door I come to an abrupt halt as something catches my eye on the ground. Halfway sticking out from under the doormat is a manila envelope. Wiping the sweat off my face with my shirt, I move to the door and bend to slide it out from under the mat. It’s a legal-size envelope and I swear this wasn’t here when I left this morning. I would’ve noticed.
It’s blank. I reach in and pull out its contents. My heart stops and my stomach flips at the same time.
I turn immediately and scan the street. I don’t see any sign of life.
Fuck.
Chapter Twenty
Let Me Be Yours
Tony
Standing behind my desk in my home office, I stare down at contents of the envelope in front of me.
Pictures.
And a note.
My insides are coiled so tight I might explode. Most of the pictures are just of Leigh, but a few are of Leigh and me together. They were taken yesterday, I can tell from what we were wearing. There are pictures of Leigh walking from her apartment building looking ahead, getting into her car, and more of her sitting there. Some are close up, some far away. She’s wearing a private smile in some as her eyes are casts on her phone typing on the screen. One even looks like she’s close to laughing.
Others are of Leigh and me walking Fin yesterday. I’ve got my arm around her neck, pulling her close as we walk to whisper in her ear or kiss the side of her head. More pictures of us walking and holding hands. Some are of Leigh scratching Fin or looking up at me with a huge smile on her face. The most disturbing by far are the close ups focused on Leigh. And it’s worse because I remember everything she was saying to me when the pictures were taken.
But the note is what cuts me to the core and has me itching to hunt down the sick bastard who took these. It’s typed in plain font and reads, “You took something from me, now I’ll take something from you.”
I drop to my chair and rest my forehead in my hands. It has to be Preston. But he’s cutting a deal today with the DA’s office. Why in the fuck would he do this now? With these pictures they could have proof of him violating his restraining order and I wasn’t kidding when I told Leigh last night he’ll be in deep shit if he violates his probation. He’ll face jail time and so far, he’s done everything possible to avoid it.
I don’t want to tell Leigh about this but someone is following her, taking pictures of her, and threatening me by threatening her. She has to know. But shit, this is going to set her back and she’s progressed quickly, especially in the past few
days. Dreading what I have to do, I decide to leave the pictures and note here and break it to her first.
I walk out of my office and start toward my room. I hear her in the kitchen so I change my course but stop immediately before she sees me when I hear her talking. And she’s talking to the dog.
“He’ll come around, Finny. He just thinks you’re too big, but you’re not too big, are you? Of course, you’re not—you’re perfect.” She’s talking in that voice women only use when speaking to dogs or babies.
I drop my head, squeeze my eyes, and don’t move.
“Mama will talk him into it, I promise,” she goes on. “I don’t want you to have to sleep in that kennel. Those are for bad dogs, not good puppies like my Finny. I don’t know what your daddy is thinking anyway, he and I only use half the bed, there’s plenty of room for you.”
I feel my chest expand and even the fucking contents on my desk can’t keep me from tipping my lips.
“We’ll go for a walk later—the weather is still nice. Maybe if you get in better shape, your daddy will take you running with him. I don’t run. Your daddy and Aunt Gabby are crazy because they love it. It hurts my side. But we’ll go for a walk later—Tony! You scared me! You can’t sneak up on me like that,” she yells when I moved into the open space by the kitchen.
She’s sitting on a barstool drinking coffee and Fin is sitting at her feet, but now they’re both looking at me, surprised. Fin’s tail is going a mile a minute but stays by her side, communicating to me who his person is. Leigh is wearing my t-shirt again and it barely covers her ass on the barstool with her long thin legs crossed, turned to the side. I can tell by their positions they were deep in conversation before I entered the room.
I let my eyes drag over her like I’ve become addicted to doing. Soaking her in, finding it hard to believe she’s here, she’s real, and she’s mine. I think about how far she’s come over the past few months—how she’s happy, she wants to be here and, most importantly, that she loves me.
