Hiding down below was no longer wise. She needed to speak to Jett now. Rushing back to the deck, she called out breathlessly, “Jett we need to talk.”
“About my swimming again?” Jett asked as he turned around. His eyes widened when he saw her. Obviously he hadn’t expected her to be so close.
“No. This is important. Not that your swimming wasn’t.”
“I’m sorry I brought it back up. Why don’t you tell me what has you so…distracted right now?”
Distracted? That wasn’t the word she’d use to describe how she felt. Maybe he wasn’t reading her emotions as well as before, since she had stormed away earlier. He might think I was overreacting. I know I wasn’t. Not then, and not now.
“Jett, I’m remembering more.”
“I’m listening.”
Finally. “Some small things about who I was, like how good of a swimmer I was. But that is not what’s important.”
“Anything you recall is important,” Jett said.
“Well, this might be the most important thing. I remember about when I was being…held.” She couldn’t bring herself to say the word tortured, but that’s exactly what they had done.
“What do you remember?”
“That it wasn’t by one person. There were…many men.”
“Do you remember where you were, or what they wanted?”
She shook her head. “It was hot and like a jungle of some kind. I wasn’t there alone. There were others with me.” Lisa closed her eyes and took slow, deep breaths.
“Can you tell me what you saw?”
I can, but I’m not sure either of us want to know. She had come up to share what she had remembered, but now, she was about to dig deeper. Her hands trembled as she willed herself back to that time and place. “I was reading to children like I did most days. There were less than usual, but we were all sitting in a circle when I heard the screams.”
“Who was screaming?”
“I don’t know. They weren’t screams of pain, more like roars or hollering. I had no idea what was happening. I tried to gather the children to get them to come with me to the tent, but they ran into the woods. As soon as the vehicles came into our camp, I knew why. We were under attack, and the men leaped from their vehicles and started shooting.”
Lisa could see and hear it so clearly now, as though it were happening in front of her. Her breathing became labored as the panic from then filled her now.
“You were shot?”
“No. They went after the men in the camp, dragging them out into the open and…and…” She remembered seeing them put the gun to her friends’ backs. Even though no one at the camp had any weapons and the men weren’t fighting back, the attackers didn’t care. It was an execution. One by one, she saw them fall dead where they had stood. Even though she couldn’t remember their names, she knew they had been friends, and now it was like she needed to mourn them all over again. But there wasn’t any time. Her memories were still coming. With a heavy heart, she continued, “They only shot the men.”
“And the women and children?”
“The children weren’t ours. We were there to…help them in some way, I think. But they had all run. The rest of us, the women, huddled together thinking we were next. But instead, they bound us and took us away. It had been days sitting in the dark, tied up. They would bring water, but no food, and they didn’t speak to us. We…didn’t know what they wanted. But there was one who came in and took pictures of us. I thought they were holding us for ransom.”
“What made you change your mind?”
“Because…no one came for us. And then the rest of us were being…” The acid in her stomach burned, but nothing compared to the ache in her heart. “Being killed too. But not like what they’d done to the men. It was…slow and painful…as though they were taking pleasure in it and making an example of us. Slowly. As though they wanted to punish us for something.”
It was as though each cut had been intentional, and she remembered praying for death, yet it didn’t come. She opened her eyes, but her vision was blurred by her tears.
“I’m sorry honey. I wish I could make this pain go away.”
“That wouldn’t change what happened. So many people were killed, and for…what?” Lisa asked.
“I don’t know, but you got away. You survived for a reason.”
“Everyone was murdered before my eyes. In front of cameras so the…world could see that what? That we weren’t welcome there? That they didn’t want to change?”
“I’m not sure anyone will ever know why people do such vicious things, but Lisa, you lived so you could tell the story of what really happened.”
She rushed into Jett’s arms. “Jett. It was horrible.”
“Okay, don’t think about it anymore.”
“But we need to know everything,” Lisa sobbed.
“Not now, not today,” Jett said as he held her tightly. “You’re safe. It’s over, honey.”
“Not for me.” It was her burden to carry the weight of what had transpired years ago.
“I know. I’m here any time you need to let it out.”
She could cry for a lifetime and it never would be enough. At least now she understood why her mind had blocked away what had happened. She probably would’ve gone insane otherwise. She remembered that after her friends had been tortured, their attackers burned the bodies so no one could be identified. That could’ve happened to me, should’ve been me. “It was…horrific. They were…pure evil.”
As Jett held her, he said, “You’re safe now. They can’t ever hurt you again.”
“I’ll never be safe. If they find out I’m alive, they’ll come and finish what they started. I know they will.”
“Lisa, I’ll never let that happen.”
“You can’t make such a promise.”
“Lisa, I promise.”
“I’m not Lisa,” she said somberly. “I’m…”
“Melissa?”
She shook her head. “No. I don’t know what it is, but I know I’m not Melissa and I’m not Lisa. I’m…” Her head was pounding, heart racing, and she ran to the edge of the boat. Holding on to the rail, she began to vomit uncontrollably. She could purge the contents of her stomach, but that wasn’t going to erase what had happened, change the truth.
The gut-wrenching feeling was something with which she was familiar. But this was too much for her, too much for anyone to deal with. She might have lived through it the first time, but reliving the memories might just kill her anyway.
* * *
Jett had so many questions, but she was in no condition to continue. He was truly worried about her physically and mentally right now. He knew she was beginning to regain her memories, and they were going to be ugly. But hearing them, they were even worse than he’d imagined.
All he could do was be by her side and try to comfort her. But her pain wasn’t physical; it was mental and emotional. He’d never experienced what she had described, and there probably weren’t many people who had. Jett wasn’t so arrogant as to believe he could fix everything that was going on with her. It was going to take a professional to give her what she needed to get through this. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to be with her every step of the way. He’d sworn to protect her.
A piece of that was relaying everything to Roman. That would need to wait right now, because nothing was going to get him to leave her side. He’d sit with her quietly as long as she wanted. If that was an hour, a day, or a week, he’d be there.
Just hearing what she had gone through had affected him in a way he hadn’t expected. He and Roman had helped many people in the past, but this by far was the most…difficult. It wasn’t just what she’d experienced. Somehow, this was becoming personal. Roman had advised he keep his distance, and he had, on one level, but nothing could prevent him from caring for her.
Now his focus wasn’t just to help Lisa get her memory back, he wanted every fucking one of those bastards to pay with their life. Wh
at they did to those people, to her, wasn’t forgivable. Jett wasn’t sure how Roman or the Turchettas were going to feel about his change of plans, but it didn’t matter. He was doing this, even if it meant doing it alone. Because I don’t want her spending her life looking over her shoulder.
The sat-phone rang and he didn’t need to look to know who it was. This wasn’t the time. He’d call him back after things settled.
“You…you should answer that,” she choked out.
“No. He can wait,” Jett said. Lisa turned and faced him. Her eyes were bloodshot and puffy from crying, and it was killing him inside that there was nothing he could do to make this easier on her.
“Jett, we need to tell him.”
What I need to say won’t be said in front of you. “I’ll tell him.” He reached out and brushed her long brown hair from her shoulder. She’d been so distraught, she never even noticed she was topless. She had shown him a scar before, but only one. Now sitting here in her bra, Jett could see the scars were numerous, and on her front and back. Tortured was the only way to describe what he saw on her flesh. He was sure there were more that weren’t visible. He highly suspected that she still wasn’t aware of her lack of attire. Offering her something to cover herself most likely would cause her to bolt back below to hide away in the bedroom. The place I can’t follow her, for both of our sakes. She needed a place to call hers, and he was giving her his room to be that space.
“Do you want me to get you some water or something?”
“I think I’ve swallowed enough salt water to hold me for a while. Besides, nothing is going to wash away this feeling.”
He wanted to say something to bring back that beautiful smile of hers, but right now, he’d settle for just a bit of peace in her heart. “You don’t have to talk about it right now. We can…take it slow. And when you’re ready, I’ll be here to listen.” He didn’t care how long it took. Jett wasn’t leaving her.
“Thank you. But I don’t know any more than what I told you.” With a heavy sigh, she continued, “I don’t even know why the memories come when they do. They don’t come in any order. Just bits and pieces of a life I don’t know—one I’m not sure I want to remember anymore.” She sniffed, as though she was about to start crying again. “Jett, I’m…scared.”
She leaned towards him and he wrapped his arms around her. Was she scared of her memories, or what was to come out of her remembering them? “No one knows where you are right now. We can stay on the ocean for as long as you wish. Or if you want, we can still head to Boston and together we keep searching for answers. The choice is yours. And you don’t have to make it right now either.” He didn’t want her to feel pressured. If they didn’t go to Boston, he could have Roman get their supplies. I might require a few more guns on board.
She pulled away and looked up at him. “I think right now I’d like to hear what Roman has to say. He was supposed to talk to Melissa.”
“He spoke to her brother instead,” Jett clarified.
“Why?”
“Roman felt it would be less painful to speak to him instead.”
“I don’t know about that. My brothers never gave us girls credit for how strong we were.”
She had never mentioned sisters before. “Girls? You remember sisters?” Jett asked. Talking about her family might be what she needed. It definitely was better than the last topic.
“I think I have a sister, or maybe two. I’m not sure. They could just be friends. It’s just I don’t feel as though it was me and a bunch of guys. I see myself playing with dolls and there was someone else there. And I hear laughter in my head that definitely doesn’t belong to a man. You know…the kind that only girls do.”
He knew what she meant. The uncontrollable laughter that made no sense and if you asked, you got an eyeroll followed by more laughter. It wasn’t because he had sisters, but all his cousins were female.
Trying to keep the conversation light he said, “I don’t know, I was forced to play dolls with my cousins when I was five.”
Lisa wrinkled her nose and said, “I can’t picture anyone forcing you to do anything.”
“You would understand if you saw my cousins. They’re a few years older than I am and when they got together…they always won.”
“My brothers are all older than I am. But my brother Josh, he used to do more things with me and my sister. But playing dolls wasn’t one of them.”
Josh. Progress. “I was five.”
“How about tea parties?” Lisa teased.
This was good. She was starting to relax again. He knew it wasn’t going to last, but even a moment or two was better than nothing. Even if it means you laugh at me, it’ll be worth it.
“No, sorry to disappoint you.”
“I’m sure your cousins appreciate you playing along with them. I was lucky, having Melissa there.” Her eyes widened. “That’s her name. My sister is Melissa.” Then a smile beamed and she said, “And I’m…Phoebe.” Tears rolled down her face again. “My name is Phoebe.”
She covered her face with her hands and bent over sobbing. He knew these were a mixture of tears, some of joy. As he stroked her back, he said, “That’s a beautiful name.”
“It’s mine. It’s really mine.”
If that was true, then her latest revelation was about to change a lot of people’s lives. “Honey, you’ve been through a lot today. Why don’t you go below deck and lie down for a while?”
Phoebe nodded. “I think I do need a little bit of time alone. Thank you so much for understanding.” As they got up, she turned and hugged him so tight that he wasn’t sure she was going to let go. “I couldn’t imagine what I’d do if you weren’t here with me.” When she let go, she met his eyes and said, “I don’t think I’d remember any of this if it wasn’t for you.”
“I’m sure you would have.” In time.
She shook her head. “No. You brought out…feelings in me. And once I started feeling again, it was like opening up a gate. I guess for me to feel the good things, I have to be able to feel the…”
“Bad as well.”
She nodded. “I just wish it wasn’t so bad.”
Jett tipped her chin and his thumb stroked her jaw. “Then I hope your future is filled with wondrous things that will help you forget.” He allowed his lips to brush hers only briefly. Any more and his actions would change from being kind to selfish. He couldn’t kiss her pain. But he did want her to know how much he cared. “Now go and rest.”
Her eyes widened and Phoebe looked as though she was going to say something, but suddenly she pulled away and went below deck. Jett stood there for a moment to regain his focus. While she rested, he needed to update Roman.
Even before he could dial the number, Roman was calling him again.
“We got to talk,” Roman snapped.
“I know and Rafe should be on the call.”
“Why? What happened?” Roman asked.
“She remembered who she is. And you’re not going to believe who it is.”
“Phoebe Turchetta.”
Fuck. Guess you would. “How do you know?”
“I showed Rafe a picture of her. Let’s say I wasn’t sure I was going to make it out of there alive. He demanded to see her.”
“Roman, she’s not ready for that yet.” The memories were coming back, she didn’t need to be confronted by them. “It could be…overwhelming for her.”
“I know, and so does Rafe. But he’s not going to trust from a photo that she’s his dead sister. So I need you to get me a DNA sample.”
He understood it. People lied and tried to claim being someone they weren’t. That wasn’t the case with Phoebe. She had no reason to lie and hell, this wouldn’t be the family to decide to fuck with if she were. Her memories were coming from her, not from something she’d seen or any information he’d fed her.
“I’ll get it, but I’m telling you, she’s Phoebe.”
“This is going to be a shock to everyone. And after speaking with Ra
fe, there are some questions the family is going to want, actually demand be answered.”
“Like what?” Jett asked.
“They saw a video of their sister being tortured. She was bleeding a lot. And then, I guess it appeared she was dead. Bodies of all the victims were sent back to the States. If this is really Phoebe, then who the hell was it they buried?”
Phoebe’s hell was far from over. Jett knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but he’d never even considered how painful it was going to be for her family as well. “I’ll get you the DNA. Just make sure you let Rafe know that she’s very…fragile. I don’t care if he is her brother, I won’t sit by and let anyone hurt her.”
Roman answered, “Why don’t you let me do the talking to Rafe. But I need you to keep me abreast of everything that’s going on. Are you still expecting to be in Boston in a few days?”
“I was stalling so she could have time to adjust. But I can turn on the engine and we could be there in three if needed.” He had promised her this would be her choice. Jett was going to stand by that. Somehow, he was going to need to discuss it with her without telling her why.
I know you believe you’re Phoebe, but they need proof and I don’t want your hopes of a happy reunion to come crashing down on you.
“Okay. As soon as you have the DNA collected let me know. I’ll have a chopper fly out to you to retrieve it.”
“Are you serious? How the hell am I supposed to explain that to her?”
“Why don’t you try the truth? They want proof of who she claims to be,” Roman stated.
This was going to be a fucking nightmare. He promised to stand by her and saying now they needed proof was not the way to hold her trust. Jett had a day or two to think of something. Lying wasn’t going to be the answer, that much he knew.
“I’ll be in contact.”
When he ended the call, Jett went to the bow of the boat and stared out at the vast sea. Here, he had some control. But once the Turchettas were involved, he’d have none. And she might not either.
It wasn’t much time, but he was going to make sure what little they had, she found reasons to laugh and smile. Because once back in Boston, her world was going to change forever.
For Keeps Page 8
