by Nina Levine
She stops what she’s doing. “Fine. But I’d really appreciate it if we could be on the same page with his food. I don’t want him staying with you, eating all kinds of rubbish, and then coming home and giving me hell because I won’t let him eat what you do.”
I scrub my hand over my face. It’s been a long day and I don’t want to go down the path she’s trying to force us down. “Fuck, that’s not what happens and you know it. Don’t twist shit just to cause a fight between us.”
“I’m not trying to do that.”
“Yeah, you are.”
She stares at me for a long shitty minute before changing the subject. “I saw Cara yesterday.”
I work my jaw. “And?”
Her eyes flash with displeasure. “And you fucked her, which she took great pleasure in telling me. You could have waited longer than four months.”
“Didn’t you just tell me you have a date next week?” This is the last fucking thing I wanna get into, but I know Lynette, and she won’t let it go until she’s said everything she wants to say. And where I’m concerned, she always has a lot to say.
“That’s different and you know it.”
“How the fuck is it different?”
“God, you’re a prick. You were probably fucking those sluts the whole time we were together. I mean, you barely touched me for the last six months, so you had to be getting it somewhere.”
From the minute I moved Lynette into my place when she was eight months pregnant to when we broke up four months ago, I didn’t lay a hand on another woman. And it took me three months after that to fuck Cara. But this is shit she won’t hear, no matter how many times I tell her. She needs to place me in the asshole category to get through her days, so I don’t bother letting her know that I tried like fuck to make our relationship work. Or that I found solace from my fuck up in a bottle rather than a pussy. Instead, I say, “I’ve gotta get back to the clubhouse. I’ll see you on Tuesday.”
I ignore the tirade of angry shit she spews at me as I walk down the hallway, and am thankful that when I reach Noah’s room, he can’t hear any of it. Pulling him into my arms, I kiss him goodbye and say, “You be good for Mummy, yeah? I’ll see you in a couple of days.”
His little fingers squish my face as he kisses me back.
I wrap him in a hug. “I love you, Noah.”
“Love you, Daddy.”
It fucking kills me every time I have to leave him, but with the way Lynette and I were going, I knew his home would become toxic, so I did the best thing I could for him. Shitty situations have shitty options.
“I met with Zero yesterday,” King says during church after I return from Lynette’s. “He told me Black Deeds was approached by Zenith last week. They want to align with the club against Storm.” He looks around the room. “In Sydney as well as Melbourne.”
Fuck, that’s some significant fucking news right there. Zenith caused a lot of problems for Storm when we first set up in Melbourne four years ago. Winter fought a long and bloody battle with them for two years, and while it settled, the tension never really eased. Two weeks ago, they came at Storm in Melbourne full force, killing five club members in the process. We, however, killed eight of theirs because Winter was ready for them. King sent reinforcements down from here, which is why we held a funeral for Knuckles this morning; he died in the second wave of shit Zenith showed up with. That they want to set up in Sydney changes the game again.
“Zero isn’t interested in aligning with them,” King continues. “He’ll take our back if it comes to that. And he thinks it will. When he spoke to them, they were determined they’ll eventually move into Sydney.”
Winter steps next to King, his face hard fucking stone. “The last time we dealt with these motherfuckers, they were well equipped and got the upper hand because we were still setting up in Melbourne and not as well equipped.” His jaw clenches. “This time, we’re ready; I’ve spent years making damn sure we would be.” His eyes meet ours as he takes a moment to survey the room. “We’re increasing our weapon supply from today. Carry two guns and two knives, minimum, at all times. Keep spares close. When you shoot, shoot to slow down, not kill. I want these assholes brought in so Axe and I can interrogate them.” He pauses again. “This war will be bloody. Brutal. We’re going to provoke the fuck out of them, which means they’re gonna be looking for revenge. That’s what you need to be ready for, because I can’t predict if they’ll just strike in Melbourne or if they’ll bring that shit here, too.”
Hyde and Nitro take over after that, discussing strategy and letting us know they’ve got some weapons here for us today but to collect extras from the storage warehouse.
By the time church is finished, the energy in the club is blazing with fierce and violent determination. We’re pissed that so many members have lost their lives, and intent on wiping these motherfuckers out.
King pulls me aside as everyone files out of the room. “I need you on something tonight.”
“What?” I ask as Winter joins us.
“The three of us are gonna check out a lead Zero gave me. Might be a connection to Zenith. I’ve got Hyde, Kick, and Nitro checking out another one.”
“They’re our only leads?” I ask.
Winter nods. “For now. Axe and Zane are digging deep on this. I’m hoping they’ll have something for us tomorrow.”
“When are you heading back to Melbourne?” I ask him.
“I fly back tomorrow night. We’re launching stage one of the attack once I get back.”
“Which is?”
“A cyberattack led by Zane and Griff. We’ll hit them where it hurts most: financially. These guys fund themselves mostly by Internet fraud. We’ve been working on this for almost a year because they’re smart and hid their tracks well, but we’ve finally figured out what they’re up to and a way to cut them off at the knees. After that, it should just be a matter of time until we deplete their weapons and their cash.”
I eye King. “What time tonight?”
“Get ready now. We’re gonna take care of some other stuff first. We’ll leave in about an hour.”
I grab what I need from the weapon stash and head into the bar to have a whisky before I leave. The clubhouse is slowly emptying after the wake for Knuckles and I find an empty table in the corner of the bar.
I’m strapping myself with weapons when I look up and see Zara entering the room. She knocks the breath clear out of me in the same way she did at the cemetery earlier. Four years without laying eyes on her has been too long. Those four years have been kind to her. Hell, they’ve fucking blessed her with more beauty than she already had.
Zara is stronger now. I can tell that just by looking at her. It’s in the way she holds her head high; in the way she walks with a confidence she didn’t have before; and in the way she smiles. And holy hell if the femininity she moved with before isn’t now accentuated by a sexy confidence that is all woman.
I watch her talk with some of the guys and catch up with the girls. She laughs, and Jesus, the sound curls through me, tightening my gut.
And then she sees me.
She’s with Monroe when it happens. Listening to something Roe is saying.
Her entire body stills.
Her lips part.
Her cheeks flush.
And without hesitation, she comes my way.
31
Zara
* * *
I try to tell my feet to stop walking towards him, but they have a mind of their own. So do my eyes. They can’t take themselves off his forearm where he’s strapped a knife and is now rolling his sleeve down to cover it. It’s not the knife that gains my attention, though, it’s the muscle he’s packed on since I last saw him.
When I finally bring my gaze back up to meet his, need hits my core. This man has featured in far too many of my dreams over the years, and while I want him more now than ever, I respect that he’s committed to Lynette. It didn’t surprise me when Holly told me all those years ago tha
t Lynette had moved in with him. And it hasn’t surprised me that he’s stuck by her side, raising their son together. I used to bug Holly for updates in the beginning, but I stopped doing that when it hurt too much to hear they’d built a family. At that point, I refused to hear a word about him. Now, though, I can’t stay away. I desperately want to hear his voice and see him up close. I just need a glimpse of him and then I’ll go back to staying away.
He stands and meets me, eyes firmly on mine. “Princess.” It’s a slow, deep rumble that falls from his lips when he calls me by the name only he uses, and it reaches deep inside, touching everywhere it shouldn’t.
“Hey.” It breathes out of me, laying my want down for him to see. To feel.
He doesn’t miss it, and his own desire flares in those blue eyes I’ve wanted on me for years. These stolen moments with my wish granted won’t ever be enough. “I heard you’ve moved back.”
“Yes.” I struggle to restrain myself from asking all the things I’ve wondered about over the years. How does it feel to be a father? Are you happy? Do you love her? Do you miss me as much as I miss you?
Fury takes that in as his gaze slowly drops to my chest, to my stomach, to my legs, and then lazily, like he has all the time in the world, covers every inch again on the way back up. He’s undressed me without removing a single piece of clothing and I can’t deny I want him to do it again.
As his eyes find mine, Winter calls out from behind me, “Fury. We’re leaving.”
Regret creases Fury’s features. We share one last silent moment of simply watching each other before he grabs his phone off the table and says, “It’s good to see you.”
When he moves past me, his scent engulfs me. It’s too much. I should not have come to him. We’ve barely said a word to each other, and yet it’s like we’ve whispered a million. A million that should never have left our souls.
I gather myself while giving him time to exit the property. As I’m leaving the clubhouse, Mum catches up to me. “Come for dinner tomorrow night.”
I know I’m not going to feel like leaving my hotel room tomorrow night. Not after spending the day helping Holly paint her house. How she convinced me to help, I have no idea. But Mum needs this. She’s going through a lot with King, not to mention all the club stuff going on; she needs her daughters. So I nod. “Sounds good. I’ll come over a little earlier. We can hang out.”
“I would love that. You can help me make your favourite vegan dish.”
“You’re making a vegan dinner?”
“Yes. It’s not every day my daughter finally moves home where she should be. I’m celebrating with your favourite food.”
I smile. God, I love my mum. “I’ve missed you, too. And I’ll pick up all the ingredients we need.”
“Tatum’s coming, too, and King probably won’t be home so add that into your calculations. I’ll text you the ingredients I already have at home so you don’t double up.”
I frown. “What ingredients?” She doesn’t even know what we’re making. How would she already have stuff?
“I googled vegan food when you told me you were moving back.” She shrugs. “I picked up some ingredients for the pantry that I saw were common in all the recipes.”
My mother is too much. Only she would fill her pantry with stuff she’ll probably never use. “You missed me a lot, huh?” I’m only teasing; I know she missed me. She texted and called me enough every day for the past four years for me to know this.
Her eyes turn serious. “If you ever move away again, I will hunt you down, Zara King. And that’s a promise.”
I find Mum in her bedroom when I arrive at her place on Saturday afternoon. After painting with Holly all morning, I escaped the paint fumes just after lunch, picked up the ingredients needed for dinner, and then came here where I found Mum sitting on the floor of her room surrounded by a mountain of clothes.
“Are you having a clean-out?”
She blows a strand of hair off her face. “Yes. King declared my wardrobe too fucking full this morning. He was on the warpath, ranting all over the place about all the damn clutter in the house. He had a go at me about my shopaholic ways.”
I sit cross-legged on the bed. “Really? With everything he’s got going on, he’s worried about some clothes?”
“He’s stressed and was in a mood before leaving this morning. When he couldn’t find something in the wardrobe, he lost his shit.”
“Ah, okay.”
“He went too far, though,” she says, her face revealing she’s pissy with him still. “I am not a shopaholic.”
Laughing—because here I was thinking she was going to say he went too far with his cranky-pants ways when really she’s just annoyed he called her a shopaholic—I say, “He’s kinda right. You’ve got a slight addiction to online shopping.”
Gran joins us, her long boho skirt flowing behind her as she glides in. “Lily, darling, I hate to break it to you, but you have become a shopaholic. King is right.”
Mum scowls at her. “Enough of that ‘King is right’ rubbish. It’s not helpful today.”
“Where are the kids?” I ask, noting the silence in the house.
“Brynn took them out. They’re having a day with their aunt and uncle.”
“Jamie’s home?” Mum’s sister’s husband travels a lot with his work. He owns a chain of adult shops and is about to expand his business into America. The last I knew, he was in Los Angeles.
“Yes. He suggested they have them for the night, and I was going to call Brynn to say yes, but now I’m not so sure.”
“You’re that pissed off with King you don’t want time alone with him after we all leave?” I ask.
She grabs the half-full rubbish bag off the bed and loads more clothes into it. “I am.”
“Darling,” Gran says, “tell Brynn to have the kids. You and King need a night alone.”
Mum finishes filling the bag and groans. “Ugh, he’s so stressed lately and moody—”
I cut her off. “He’s always moody, Mum.”
“He’s worse at the moment. I’m about ready to force him onto the couch at night.”
“Umm, I didn’t think King ever slept on the couch. Not even when you tried to make him,” I say.
King’s voice booms from the hallway. “I don’t.” His gaze meets Mum’s. “What’s going on in here?”
Mum straightens as she makes a face at him. “I’m decluttering. By the time you get home tonight, there may not be anything left in this house.”
His nostrils flare. “By the time I get home tonight, you better be in the bath and ready for me.”
I’m used to King’s ways, but the energy between them feels tense. Usually Mum just ignores his bossiness if she doesn’t want anything to do with it, but she’s not today.
Deciding they could do with some space, I say, “Gran, come and make me some of your tea.”
We leave Mum and King who look like they’re ready to duel and head into the kitchen. Gran puts the kettle on and makes tea while I unpack the ingredients for dinner into the fridge.
“It was about time you came home, child,” Gran says as I close the fridge. “Your mother has been going crazy with worry for the last four years.”
My grandmother is the one who gave my mother her crazy genes. Mum’s a little more practical than Gran, but seriously, these two come out with the most outlandish things sometimes.
“I know she was worried to begin with, but I don’t think she’s spent the whole time worrying, Gran.”
She arches her brows. “You might be surprised, Zara. She worried from the day you left after having your heart broken and hasn’t stopped. Especially with all the broken hearts you’ve had since. The only thing that kept her strong was knowing you had Birdie to help you through things. I think she might have packed herself up and moved to Melbourne if not for Birdie.”
Guilt twists through me. I did flee Sydney in a haze of heartbreak and angst after Fury told me he was going to be with Lynette. I
sold a heap of my belongings, borrowed cash off Holly, and moved into the cheapest share house I could find in Melbourne. King had chased me down and demanded to know what the fuck was going on, so in a moment of desperation to be left to my own devices, I told him a guy had broken my heart and I needed to not be in Sydney anymore.
All the breakups that Gran mentions, though, that’s being dramatic. I had two breakups before I started dating Angus. That’s hardly many. But I know this is her telling me in her own way that she also missed me, so I let it slide.
“You guys don’t need to worry about me. I’m not heartbroken over Angus. And I’ve sworn off men for a while.”
She looks at me like I’m the crazy one. “There’s no need to go overboard, darling.”
I’m laughing at that when I hear Tatum at the front door. “Lil, the door’s open; I’m coming in.”
“We’re in the kitchen, Tatum,” I call out.
She joins us a moment later, carrying a bottle of wine. Placing it on the counter, she wraps her arms around me and says, “It’s so good to see you back here.”
“Anyone would think I was away on another planet,” I say when she lets me go. “I mean, it’s not like I didn’t come home for Christmas and stuff.”
“Those visits aren’t the same as having you close,” she says.
She’s right. While I needed to be in Melbourne for my own sanity, I’ve missed my family. All of it—Storm included. I had Birdie and Winter down there, but I didn’t spend time at the clubhouse because I didn’t want to chance running into Fury when he visited.
Changing the subject, I say, “I didn’t think you were coming over until later.”
“I wasn’t, but I had an argument with Nitro this morning and I need your mum to talk sense into me because Monroe’s busy with Sage and Parker today. I love those kids like nothing else, but all these birthday parties they get invited to is ridiculous. Roe spends her weekends running all over the damn place.”
