“Oh. Well…tell her…I say hi? No, don’t say that.”
I let my mouth spread into a smile. Lying with Natalie, however trivial, didn’t feel good. However, there was nothing she would do but worry if she knew what I was really texting.
“Get your dad’s journal and let’s start reading. Let’s start with one from around the time of the accident.”
I returned to my texts:
Bob: Definitely has gone soft.
Shane: Hey douchebag, I’m not soft, I just think, you know, we haven’t considered the implications of this idea. How it’s fucking kidnapping, and it’s wrong. Not to mention the fucking cops will catch us. So stop talking about this dumb idea
Jared: Dude we know my cousins will look the other way. They fucking run this town.
Shane: Dudes. No. Not doing it. And you both should get a grip on reality.
Bob: Ha! Reality is the furthest thing we want tonight. We’re heading to Cashmierski’s place tonight.
My heart sank.
Cashmierski’s was not good. It was a meth house on the outskirts of town, and was where all sorts of shady, hopeless characters congregated.
The type of drugged out, hopeless people hung out there who might actually think that a half-baked kidnapping plot was a good idea. I knew because I’d been there many times.
They might be on a bender all night.
My chest ached, and I ran my thumb and forefinger on my head.
“Everything okay?” Natalie rubbed my arm as she sat back down next to me.
“It will be fine.” I tossed my phone back on the coffee table and kissed her deeply. She moaned into my mouth. “I was just thinking. Snow stops tomorrow. We’ll drive out of here. And you can fly back to Florida.
“Really? You still don’t think it’s safe?”
“The snow is stopping tonight. Roads will hopefully be plowed by late morning tomorrow. Then, we’ll take off.”
“You really think I’m still in danger?”
“It’s just a precaution.”
“But I’m with you.”
Those words made my heart flutter.
I’d flipped and flopped and tried to play nice with Jared and Bob. But they were still acting crazy, and if they tried to pull something stupid, I would have to take them down and stop at nothing.
“Yes, you are.” I kissed her. “Now let’s read that journal.”
24
Bruce Toft
September 21
I haven’t slept more than a few hours in weeks.
Maybe it’s the drinking I’ve been doing. I don’t know. I feel as though I’ve lost control since the accident that happened on your watch.
I’m no cold-blooded murderer. But judging from the looks on the faces of the townspeople when I went to the funeral for the seventeen, you would have thought I was.
The red in their eyes worries me.
The guilt eats away at me every single day. It’s there when I wake up, when I go to bed. I should have listened to my supervisors instead of cutting corners. Fuck, I should burn this journal right now. I would never admit this in court. They would take me for all I’ve got.
And in the end, she’s my only hope. Natalie…
I should have sold this godforsaken mine and moved to Florida. Even if I wasn’t together with her mom, I could have watched her grow up.
Now, I can’t go. I squelched the news about the accident, luckily. Money goes a long way. Edna found out. I told her we could never mention the accident to Natalie. She can’t know that her dad is a monster…
I remember being younger, and asking myself, if I were on my deathbed, would I regret anything?
I grew up dirt poor on the outskirts of Black Mountain. I never thought I’d amount to anything. Until I discovered iron wasn’t all that was buried here—there was coal too, quite a find for this geographical area. I had black gold in my eyes. I always thought I’d regret not making enough money.
Turns out, too much of anything is a bad thing, like the saying goes.
Those seventeen employees will never get their lives back.
But I can’t let this get out past the local news here.
I don’t want Natalie to get too close to the truth: her dad was not a good man. In fact, far from it.
That’s the real regret I’ll have when I’m ready to go.
Not knowing when enough money was enough.
And when I should have just focused on loving her.
-BT
25
Shane
Natalie cried. I got teary-eyed, too.
“Fuck. He tried to hide everything from me, so much. I can’t believe how shady he was with me. There was a shift in how he talked to me and it started after this accident.”
“People always try to hide the worst parts of themselves. You’re his daughter. He wanted to preserve his image for you. I think that was all he had left at this point.”
Reading through the journals was stressful, but cathartic.
I guess I’d always wanted some picture-perfect answer about the accident. After poring over his journals for a few hours, I realized there really was no terrific answer. Some of the supervisors seemed to think the mine shaft was in great condition. Others had their doubts. But there was no proof that fortifying the shaft would have done anything, either.
As Natalie rested against me, breathing softly, drifting off to sleep, I realized something.
You always wanted cut and dry answers to why things happened. Especially traumas. But the truth was usually messy.
Why did I feel like she was an angel sent to deliver some message to me, to my soul?
I slipped away from her for a moment, went upstairs and got the letter that scout had given me.
I hadn’t yet punished her for reading my private correspondence. I would. But all of the sudden, I felt so relaxed with her, like my path was finally becoming clear.
I was in no rush to get back at her.
There was no need to be frantic. She was placed in my life for a reason; that was as clear as day to me.
It was past eight, but still I picked up my phone and dialed the number of the scout. He picked up after one ring.
“Hello?”
“Mr. Chelios?”
“Who is this?” was his gruff reply on the other end of the line. I’d caught him by surprise.
“Shane North.”
He cleared his throat. “Oh. Happy to be hearing from you.”
“I thought a lot about what you said.”
“Have you now?”
“Yes. And I accept.”
“I’ll send over the details via email. I have to ask, what caused the change of heart?”
I glanced over at Natalie, sleeping soundly, her chest rising and falling. “No reason in particular. I’ve just been thinking a lot this week about life and stuff.”
I started Mighty Ducks II on the TV, climbed behind her and cuddled her, listening to her soft breaths as I drifted off to sleep.
Cherry came by the next morning—she’d been called in for an emergency shift yesterday so couldn’t make it then—and ran the concussion protocol. Elaine came by too, as she was just concerned about Natalie and the fact that she hadn’t been responding to Elaine’s texts.
Turned out Natalie was fine, but I was slightly concussed.
“How the hell did you get that mark on your head?” Elaine asked.
Natalie’s cheeks turned bright red.
“Ohhh,” Elaine grinned. “Fun in the bedroom. I get it. Hey, I’m into the freaky stuff, too. You’ve got to be careful, though.”
Cherry sighed. “Sometimes I wonder how my parents got our names so wrong. I definitely should have been an Elaine.”
“I know,” Elaine said. “And I wouldn’t have to even have a separate identity.”
“What is your stripper name?” Natalie asked.
“Peach,” Elaine winked. “Michigan peaches are totally underrated, you know. Totally not as well-known as Georgia
peaches but they taste even better. In my opinion.”
Cherry sighed and shook her head. “She gets like this after she’s been out all night.”
“You haven’t even been home yet?” I asked.
“Nope! Busy night last night. I saw your two dumbass friends, Jared and Bob. They were all hopped up on something, along with their crowd. Kind of a weird vibe, to be honest. But I think they enjoyed the show.”
“What were they saying?” Natalie asked, squeezing my hand as she sat next to me on the couch.
“Just about how they were ‘really going to do it.’ What ‘it’ was, I have no idea. But someone kept talking about how they didn’t have the balls to do ‘it.’ Who knows.”
Natalie squeezed my hand so hard, it started to turn white.
“They’re crazy,” I said. “I’m done hanging out with them.”
“Don’t you work with them?” Cherry asked.
“I’m probably going to be having a change of employment coming up here soon,” I said.
“Did you accept the offer?” Natalie asked excitedly.
“What offer?” Cherry and Elaine asked in unison.
“I got an offer to play pro-hockey…and I accepted last night. It’s not much, but I’ll be moving to Chicago to go play.”
“When?”
“Soon.”
“Wow. What did your mom say when you told her?” Cherry asked.
“Haven’t yet.” My stomach curdled a little, thinking about that.
I was going to have pitch to my mom that we’d move to Chicago. We. Me. I couldn’t picture her living in Black Mountain year-round without me.
“I didn’t know you accepted officially!” Natalie couldn’t hold back her happiness. She kissed me and hugged me in front of the two sisters.
“You were asleep when I called them last night to confirm.”
“Well, I think this is as good a cue as any for us to head out. Shane, you’ll be fine, just no strenuous activity for the next few days.”
She looked at us, clearly noting the budding love, and that we’d be taking part in the activities that come with it, as we had this morning.
“Or just…you know. Get as much sleep as you can. Maybe no more punching your boyfriend in the face,” Cherry joked.
Boyfriend.
That word echoed into the void, its significance not lost on me. Jesus, we were progressing a little too fast.
When they left, Natalie took a shower while I made us breakfast and packed up her dad’s journals. Our plan was to drive down to Milwaukee, which had the nearest non-podunk airport she could fly out of. I had booked her a flight on a plane to Florida. We had called her mom, given her the flight information, and explained that Natalie was just feeling psychologically taxed from the week of being alone and wanted to come home for now. She’d finish going through her father’s belongings sometime in the future.
I put two plates out on the dining room table for us, and waited for Natalie to pack her suitcase. I would go back to her place and get the rest of her things and ship them back to her.
Maybe I was being overly paranoid. Bob and Jared were probably passed out by now after an all-night bender. But Elaine’s comments had me extra worried. Who knew which drugs they were doing? Who knew their psychological state? I wasn’t taking any extra risks. I even thought about the gun my dad kept hidden away upstairs, in the top of his closet. I’d never been a gun person. Didn’t think I’d have to use it.
But I knew it was there if I needed it, which I hoped I wouldn’t.
“Natalie, you almost done?” I called up as I finished cooking the eggs and sautéing a few sweet potatoes to go with our breakfast. “Be down in two minutes,” she called back.
That’s when I heard the knock on the back door.
A sinking feeling set in.
I didn’t answer. I turned off the stove, and stood there silently.
The knock came again, this time, louder. I thought about the gun. I wondered if I should go and grab it.
My heart sank further when I saw the doorknob turning, and I realized that even though the door was locked, my mom kept a fucking key under the *Welcome mat.*
Even their footsteps coming up the back stairs sounded desperate. Needy. Evil.
The door that accessed the house to the back porch opened, and Bob and Jared appeared.
Their faces looked more pale than normal. I knew, immediately. They had been out all night on a bender. God only knew what drugs were coursing through their system.
“Smells good in here,” Jared said as he sauntered into the dining room. “Whatcha cooking?”
My skin crawled, a stew of nerves and anger brewing inside me.
“The fuck are you two doing here?”
“Been out, been having a good time,” Bob added. “We thought we’d come by and enjoy some breakfast. Luckily, looks like you’ve got yourself set up for two, here.”
They headed into the dining room and sat down.
I kept an ice-cold expression on my face. I’d never give her away.
I just hope Natalie would be cautious and quiet. If there was a time to jump out the window and into the snow for a getaway, this was it.
“You two are high as fuck. I’m going to ask you again. What are you doing here?”
My gaze jumped to the butcher knives in the kitchen, and I tried to play it off like I was just rubbing my face.
I saw that desperation in their eyes. They were out for blood and revenge.
My heart sunk thinking how I’d had the same feelings coursing through me, until I actually *met* Natalie.
“We’re going through with the plan, Shaney. And we know you know where she is.”
“The fuck you’re talking about? I have no idea where she is.”
Jared flitted his eyes between the two plates. “Then who’s breakfast for two for?”
“None of your fucking business.”
Jared and Bob chuckled.
It was an evil, devilish laugh, with no hope for redemption. Even their eyes looked like they’d been taken over by demons.
Jared nodded to Bob, and Bob reached into his jacket and pulled out a gun.
I thought of the butcher knives, but I didn’t look at them.
“We thought you’d say that. But we know you know, Shaney. You forget how quick word gets around this town. Fuller saw you two in front of your house yesterday. Quit your lying, man. We’re doing it. So where is she?”
26
Shane
“She’s not here,” I said without missing a beat. “Are you two for real right now? Coming in, looking all tough with a gun? Don’t be ridiculous.”
Bob cocked it, pointed it at my mom’s cabinet, and pulled the trigger, blowing a hole in the cabinet and hitting some dishes.
Jared even jumped, but I didn’t flinch.
I had to keep my cool with as crazy as they were getting and talk them down. They really were out of their minds, coming in here like this. Fuck them and their tough guy approach.
I wondered how far I would go to protect Natalie from my former friends. The thought scared me.
“You fucking asshole. You just busted up my mom’s gear,” I spat out.
“Where. Is. She.” Bob’s voice cracked. His eyes were bloodshot.
“You think this is going to give you closure? Taking the life of an innocent girl-turned woman?”
“Who said anything about taking a life? That’s no fun. We just want to traumatize her, like we were traumatized.”
“Her father is fucking dead now, not sure if you noticed. Plus she’s the one who has to deal with the fact that he was an asshole. I think that’ll be plenty of trauma for her.”
Jared furrowed his brow. “When’d you go so soft, man?”
“How is this soft?”
“Soft. Like the Pillsbury doughboy. I could poke you and…forget it. Let’s go find her.”
“She left. There’s no reason to waste your time. She’s halfway to Milwaukee by now. Left thi
s morning.”
Bob and Jared’s shoulders sank. “You’re lying,” Bob said.
I shrugged. “Fellas, I don’t see why we’ve become at odds. This is a little ridiculous. We’re both on the same team.”
Jared shook his head. “You’re lying. And you know how I know you’re lying?”
Jared bared his teeth. Bob waved the gun around.
“Why don’t you enlighten me?”
“Smells like a girl in this place. It’s the same scent I noted the other night at the bar.”
My stomach churned. “Told you, she left.”
Please, get the fuck out of here, Natalie.
I hadn’t heard the shower running since the two of them arrived. Maybe she had gotten wise and left.
I prayed she had.
“Bob, you wait down here with our former friend. I’m going to head upstairs. I think I heard something.”
Jared headed up the stairs.
“Have a seat,” Bob said, pointing the gun at me. “I insist.”
I sat in the chair in the dining room, my body posture rigid.
“You don’t have to do this, you know. You don’t have to do his freaking bidding.”
“Shut up, North. You’re lucky we don’t do the same to you that we’re going to do to her.”
I furrowed my brow, then stood up.
Bob took a quick breath. “Hey! No moving. I’m in charge here.”
“Bob, you don’t have to do this…whatever you’re planning. Do it to me.”
Bob’s eyes widened, and then he started to laugh.
The laughter was so maniacal, so evil, it made me realize something.
No one was at home any more for Bob.
Nor for Jared.
They’d become shells of the people who were once my friends. Now, they existed in life purely to drag others down like the old crabs-in-a-bucket metaphor. The fact that revenge would be short-lived, and possibly with life-long consequences for them—like jailtime, not to even mention guilt—didn’t matter in the slightest.
Black Ice: A Standalone Enemies to Lovers Romance Page 19
