by Tommy Baker
Consider vulnerability your secret sauce to create impactful connection with those around you—people who truly have your back and will be there for you no matter what. And for your leap, it’s a nonnegotiable ingredient.
Leap Tip: Lean in to Vulnerability
Once a day, practice getting vulnerable. Don’t overthink this—it’s about telling someone how you feel, when you feel it. It’s about sharing a challenge with someone. It’s about speaking up during the meeting and sharing what matters to you. It’s about connecting with a stranger and letting them see and feel you.
This practice has endless benefits: deep connection, inner peace, and a feeling of freedom.
Put Yourself on the Line
We attempt to put love and connection on timelines. We try to mix logic and reason to make decisions that don’t abide by those rules. Often, it leads us to feel alone, disconnected or like something is wrong with us. Worse, it can lead to fragmented relationships with those who matter most.
Instead, flip the script and put yourself out there. Take the chance, what do you have to lose anyway? Rejection is better than regret, and a no simply means there’s a bigger and bolder yes waiting for you. Regardless what your connection leap looks like, the way it’s going to feel is transformative and unlike anything else. Hold on to this energy and have the courage to do what you know you must do: lean in and go.
And never, ever look back.
Chapter 13 Key Takeaways
Connection is life-force energy. Without deep connection in our lives, we feel alone and lost. It starts with us and then with our closest relationships.
Self-love is essential. Without it, we’ll always be trying to fill a void that simply can’t be filled without loving ourselves unconditionally. Learn to honor the parts of yourself you tend to hide or shy away from.
Be the vulnerability leader. Take the emotional risk and allow others around you to follow suit. People will feel they can trust you, which is the key to enduring relationships.
CHAPTER 13 LEAP POWER STEP
What is the one decision you’ve been putting off in your connection and relationships?
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What’s been holding you back from making this decision and why?
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What are you committed to doing now?
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Notes
1 https://www.letsrise.co/podcast/.
2 https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability?language=en.
PART III
Turning Point: The Leap
of Your Life
We've explored all of the types of leaps available to you during Part III, and you will never be the same. There is a clear before and after, a line drawn not in the sand, but in the cement. Embrace this energy, because it will propel you to places you could have never imagined, nor thought were possible for you. It's time to do one thing: leap.
As we close out Part III, it's time to ensure your leap doesn't simply become one exciting experience; it becomes who you are. With this comes a great responsibility: to help others make bold decisions for their lives, which you now have become an example for them to follow.
Complete the following questionnaire before moving on to Part IV as we finish our experience together.
Part III Turning Point: The Leap of Your Life
Out of everything we covered in Part III, what resonated the most?
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Why did this specific piece resonate with you? Dig deep.
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What area of your life are you committed to taking a leap in, and why?
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PART IV
Coming Home
Furthermore, we have not even to risk the adventure alone; for the heroes of all time have one before us, the labyrinth is fully known; we have only to follow the thread of the hero-path. And where we had thought to find an abomination, we shall find a god; where we had thought to slay another, we shall slay ourselves; where we had thought to travel outward, we shall come to the center of our own existence; where we had thought to be alone, we shall be with all the world.
—Joseph Campbell
CHAPTER 14
Brave New World
As Lisa Nichols sped down the highway in her 1994 Ford Explorer packed to the brim with everything to her name, she drove 97 miles south. With her five-year-old son in the passenger seat, it hit her: she did it. She’d left the known, the comfortable, and all the safety nets of security in exchange for the thrill of possibility. She hadn’t accomplished anything yet—except everything in the world; she had taken the leap of her life.
“Driving down the highway, there was this immense joy that I had already done it. But that wasn’t the I did it called creating my life, but that I gave myself a chance. I trusted myself to give myself opportunity to buy my freedom and I did it. You don’t want to leave this place having not given yourself a chance to do the thing.”1
Facing the unknown, she felt a duality of excitement mixed with fear of not knowing. This is the leap in action. You’ve made the decision. You’ve had your moment. And now, you’ve crossed the threshold into a brave new world.
What happens now?
#NotesFromTheLeap
Mike Zeller
Founder, Trim Apparel and Rising Starts Mastermind
What’s the boldest leap you’ve ever taken and why was this important to you?
I’ve had several, including starting a clothing company, but joining Tony Robbins and his platinum partnership meant investing $100K + in myself.
What did you feel as you made this leap, and what happened after?
I felt both scared, excited, and pumped because I knew I was about to embark on a massive transformation. It created massive income shifts, possibility shifts as I saw a different realm of possibilities than I did before. Some of my wounds from prior relationships were healed as well, as I had just gone through a broken engagement then. I owned myself more as a man.
Looking back, what would you tell someone else in a similar circumstance knowing what you now know?
Do it! You’ve got one life.
You Will Never Be the Same (Act Like It)
Your life has radically chang
ed. It’s a beautiful intersection of inspiration mixed with trepidation, and yet you can barely contain the excitement. Life feels full again. Your enthusiasm is off the charts. You chose yourself, and the energy this brings can be felt from a mile away.
You’ll never be the same. Now is the time to follow up your leap by fundamentally changing who you are. This means the old you is now gone, and you make choices, decisions, and habits based on who you are today and who you’re becoming. This brave new world is yours, and yet you must be reminded. Just because you had the courage to bet on yourself in a bold way, doesn’t mean it’s over. In fact, I want you to know you’re only getting started.
In this chapter, we’re going to explore how to navigate your brave new world. You’re going to learn to deal with the energy of excitement, and make sure it goes in the right places. You’ll also learn how to deal with fear, uncertainty, and the vulnerable position coming from radical change. You’ll develop a set of habits to make your success rely less on willpower, and more on automatic behavior while asking the right questions.
Buckle up, because it’s time to ensure your leap is a massive success.
Learn to Love Duality
You’ve taken the leap, so now you’re destined for success, right? Not entirely. Although taking the leap in your life is your first step to a living the life of your dreams, it’s only a step. I’d be doing you a massive disservice if we didn’t explore how to bulletproof your leap from both a mindset level (how you think) and a practical level (specific action steps) to maximize your success.
Early on, you’re going to be experiencing highly charged emotional states. This means you’re going to have extremely high highs and also some deep lows and moments of questioning. Don’t fret, this is par for the course when you make bold decisions and I’m here to make sure you stay on your path.
The first step is simply getting comfortable living in daily duality. You’re going to feel like there’s a winner-take-all tug-of-war happening between two paths: excitement and trepidation. Between possibility and questioning. Between passion and uncertainty. And all these are not only entirely okay, but they’re also to be expected multiple times a day. Lisa expands during our conversation:
“I feel freedom, and I feel fear. I feel freedom to go create, I feel fear because I’m completely in the unknown. This is where people need to live: in a constant duality, and always leaping in the face of fear.”2
This is normal. And yet, you’re going to have to learn to detach from your emotional state to be a deciding factor on whether you execute today, or don’t. Here’s the conventional wisdom we’re led to believe in regard to this:
When I feel motivated and inspired, then I’ll execute.
When I feel excited and on fire, then I’ll act on my dreams.
When I feel powerful and clear, then I’ll be in the game.
It doesn’t work that way. You can’t afford to rely on those states for your success. Because no matter how impassioned you may feel today, it will fade. There is a natural ebb and flow to everything we do, but placing our ability to move forward on whether we feel charged is a bad idea.
Furthermore, it’s reverse thinking. Although counterintuitive, the way you to continue to create the charge in your life is simple: execute with relentless drive, especially when you don’t feel like it. In other words, execution is the precursor to the charged feeling, not the other way around.
Want more motivation? Execute.
Want more confidence? Execute.
Want to quiet the doubts? Execute.
Want to feel confidence? Execute.
Idle time is not your friend here and the days of waiting for the feelings to hit you while you’re watching Game of Thrones are long gone, amigo. It’s up to you to manufacture and create these feelings on demand.
And the only way to do so is to rise above the emotions and execute like you’ve never done before.
Leap Tip: Create the Feeling You’re Waiting For
Don’t wait until you feel inspired, excited, or on fire to move forward with your leap. Instead, cultivate these feelings by taking action— especially the days you don’t feel like it.
Every time you do this, you start to rewire the pattern of needing to feel a certain way in order to move your life forward.
Make Your Success as Automatic as You Can
Years ago, I met a pilot in Costa Rica who spent most of her time cruising 35,000 feet in the air from coast to coast. I was deeply curious about what the life of a pilot was like. How does the thrill of flying feel? I couldn’t get these answers fast enough. I assumed I’d spend the next few hours ungluing my jaw from the table.
And that’s when she told me the truth: flying is boring. She spends most of her time doing robotic preflight and postflight checklists, and 95% of her total flying time is spent on autopilot. As much as I was looking to glorify her skills as a pilot, it had very little to do with her and more to do with complex computers doing all the work.
And yet, planes nearly always get to their destination on time, without much conscious thought, skill, and maneuvering from the pilots.
Why? Well, autopilot of course. And you can do the same for your leap. Put as much of the fate of your success on autopilot, allowing you to focus on bigger and bolder things.
This is where your daily habits come in: a systemized set of behaviors you do every single day with minimal thinking and decision-making. At this point, you’ve read countless books and articles on the power of habits, and yet I’m often dumbfounded at how people still don’t put their success on autopilot. They’ll say things like, “It’s too simple” and wonder why they can’t put it all together. If you can’t execute on the little details, forget about the life-shifting ones.
Not you, and not anymore. Remember Chapter 5, Know Yourself? It’s time to pull that back up and build a core set of habits around your personal philosophy in addition to your leap. I could easily go into the rabbit hole of habits, but for the sake of simplicity, I’ll give you the non-negotiable baseline(s) you’ll need in order to maximize your leap every single day.
Mind Habit
Sharpen your mind every single morning. During your leap, you will be vulnerable to comparing yourself to others, and you’ll have moments where you want to give in. This is when cheap, destructive, information will come find you. Idle time leads to distraction, becoming an endless cycle robbing you of your leap’s success.
ACTION: Read 10 pages, and/or listen to a video or audio designed to remind you of possibility.
Body Habit
Our emotions are often stored and stuck in our bodies. Make no mistake: your leap will carry a lot of emotion and having a way to clear the energy through physical movement is of utmost importance. We’ve all gone into a workout, gym session, or yoga class with a problem, and left with clarity. You’re not off the hook just because you don’t like exercise.
ACTION: Move your body every single day. Consistency matters more than duration. Find something you like doing, or you won’t last.
Spirit Habit
Last, the practice of connecting to a deeper part of yourself will tune your compass to start the day. You’ll feel more grounded. You’ll be less scattered and be able to detach from any challenging circumstance life is providing at the moment.
ACTION: At least 10 minutes of space daily. Meditate, pray, reflect in silence—your choice. Keep it simple, and don’t skip a day.
If you’re not willing to focus your energy on intentional practices to make your success automatic, it tells the world how serious you really are. One of the main reasons why a set of habits in the morning is powerful is simple: you waste less energy and willpower.
Willpower is real, and we all know we’re much less likely to make powerful decisions when we’re exhausted. Building your foundation of clarity and purpose becomes nonnegotiable as you navigate your brave new world. Now let’s transition into daily, nonnegotiable leap activities you’re going to be committing
to.
Leap Habit 1: Reaffirm Your Vision Daily
Let me know if this sounds familiar: you go to your local personal development or success seminar. You get hopped up on a heavy dose of motivational caffeine, and the EDM (electronic dance music) is playing full tilt. You have an emotional breakthrough and see your vision in 4K HD clarity. It’s your time, and the ride home is an interesting mix of inspiration and exhaustion, but you’re all in.
You experience the usual post event crash and are relying on every ounce of willpower to get back to the emotional state under the lights. But it’s not working. The kids kept you up, the unexpected medical bill came in for $1,700, and you’re wiped out. Time passes, and since you haven’t acted, you start to feel guilty. Much like the book we start and never finish and leave open on our nightstand, every time we pass by it, we feel a little more resistance.
And then it fades, and the vision is long gone.
I always talk to people who come back on fire from events and I ask them about their breakthrough. They light up like a Christmas tree, until I ask what their daily practice to connect with that breakthrough is.
