by Rob Ashman
‘When are you going to stop fucking about and come join me?’ Pinball said, gripping my hand and pulling me in close. ‘We are growing fast and need people like you.’
I smiled and squeezed his hand. ‘Good to see you again, sir, shame the circumstances are shit.’
‘How have you been?’ He gestured to his cheek.
‘It’s on the mend.’
‘Don’t forget, when you want some of this?’ He ran his hand down the lapel of his expensive suit. ‘You only have to give me the nod.’
‘It’s not for me but thanks anyway.’
‘Nonsense, of course it is, it’s just a matter of time. Give me a call and you could be anywhere in the world in eighteen hours. Work for me, doing what you do best, and I promise it will set you up for life.’ He smiled and handed me a card. ‘When the time is right, call.’
Pinball slapped me on the shoulder, moving onto the next person. I drifted around waiting for Julie to appear.
I will deliver justice, Jono, I promise.
The phrase echoed in my head. At the time it seemed like the right thing to say, I had no idea what it meant.
26
I slept like a baby again last night. My dreams were visited by Jono and Donk who both gave me the thumbs up as they floated by. I got to work early as usual but there was nothing of interest in the files. I keep looking even though I have a wall of suitable candidates at the Lakeland Hotel.
It’s way past lunchtime but the office is still crammed with people. The sharply dressed woman standing at the front has her audience in the palm of her hand. She is surrounded by a garden of helium balloons and flowers, each one showering her with good luck messages and best wishes. There is a buffet lunch prepared, which to be honest looks a little beige.
‘… So that’s why I decided after twenty-eight years it was time to give someone else a chance. I’m not leaving immediately, they have asked me to stay on until a replacement has been appointed but I need to go before I become part of the furniture.’ She pauses for the laugh.
‘I thought you already were, Brenda,’ replied a woman with red hair. The people gathered around laugh politely.
‘My husband and I, oh, I sound like the queen now, don’t I? What I meant to say is Tony and I plan to spend three months …’
I’m not really bothered how she and her husband plan to spend the next three months, I keep playing the events of last night over in my mind. The altercation in the pub was a bad idea, but I couldn’t walk away from it. In reality it served as a tasty starter to the main course, and made the day all the more special.
Brenda is still in full flow. I’ve met her twice before and she seems a pleasant enough woman, well liked by her staff and good at her job. Now there’s a rarity in this place.
They shouldn’t let her retire, they should have her stuffed instead.
Despite the feeling of elation from last night, my cynicism is alive and well.
Brenda takes a hankie from inside her sleeve and dabs her eyes. ‘I promised myself I wouldn’t do this.’ A warm ripple of ‘Aww’ goes around the large open plan office. I didn’t catch her closing remarks, maybe because I wasn’t listening. The room bursts into rapturous applause which has Brenda dabbing her eyes once more.
The party breaks up into clusters of people as they track back to their desks. Nodding heads and smiles all around. I go back to mine and sip at a plastic cup of lukewarm coffee. I flick the mouse and the screen bursts into life. Now where was I …
Ah yes, the complainant was given a three-month jail sentence for possession with intent to supply. My fingers tap away at the keyboard filling in the template. No appeal has been lodged, I check the box.
I’m aware of someone by the side of me.
‘I’m Brenda Tillerson, we’ve met before I believe, Alex isn’t it?’ She has her hand outstretched. I take it, she shakes hands like a bloke.
‘You have a good memory with all the people you get to meet.’ I get up from my desk.
‘I have a knack for it I suppose.’
‘Good luck in your retirement. I enjoyed your speech.’ I lied.
‘Thank you. I’ll let you into a little secret, you would not believe how much practice goes into making a speech appear off the cuff.’
‘Well you made it sound so natural. The team appreciated it.’
‘Thank you, Alex that’s kind of you to say so.’ I smile back in return, not wanting to overplay my hand by commenting further on a speech I hadn’t listened to. ‘I hear good things about you from Angela.’
Angela is my section lead, a university high-flyer with a brain the size of a planet and a level of self-esteem to match.
‘She tells me you come in early every day to sort out the files, it has made a huge difference to the processing rate.’
‘I’m an early riser and I like to set things up properly at the start of the day.’
‘Well, thank you for doing that.’ She shakes my hand again. ‘You should submit a request to have it integrated into your job description, that way you would be formally recognised for the work.’
‘That’s a good idea, Brenda, I’ll do that.’
‘I wanted to come and shake your hand to say goodbye.’
‘Thank you, Brenda.’
She turned and walked over to the next cluster of desks to repeat the same warm words.
I go back to my data entry.
Thanks for the advice, Brenda, but I won’t be making any formal requests. Not sure how long I will be sticking around. Anyway, I have an appointment at the bank.
* * *
Kray pushed the buzzer to flat number two, there was no response. The control panel in front of her had six buttons each with a number beside it. She hit every button on the pad. Moments later there was a buzzing sound and the door unlocked.
She entered the building and flipped up the flap on the mailbox, bolted to the wall, marked with the number two. There were a couple of letters stuffed inside. She called the mobile number again, it went straight to voicemail. She rapped her knuckles hard against the front door and pressed the doorbell, the shrill warbling tones of the bell could be heard coming from inside.
Kray went back outside into the crisp cold of early afternoon and tried to peer through the net curtains at the front. The blurred interior of the bedroom gave nothing away, save for the unmade bed and a mound of clothes in the corner. She made her way across the front of the building and down the side to the back. She looked through the kitchen window to see a pile of dishes in the sink and cups lined up on the worktop. On one of the walls was a decorative mirror, with a built-in clock. She took a double take and strained her eyes, reflecting back from the other room was the arm, leg and shoulder of a seated person. The face obscured.
Kray banged her hand against the glass.
‘Catherine! Catherine can you open the door please. My name is DI Kray, you are not in trouble. I just want a quick word with you.’ The figure didn’t move. Kray scrambled to another window to get a better view but it was no use.
‘Catherine! Please open the door!’
Kray ran back to the car and returned with her retractable baton. She punched the handle through the window, reached inside and opened the door. A thick waft of stale cigarette smoke greeted her along with the acrid taste of burning. She snapped the baton open.
‘Catherine, I am a police officer.’ Kray edged her way down the length of the kitchen into the hallway. The lounge was on her left. The figure came into view, facing away from her.
Kray pushed the door until it connected with the wall behind. The figure of a woman was slumped forward in a chair with her hands and feet secured. The woman’s back and shoulders were a patchwork of scorch marks where her clothing had been charred black. Around the chair, a circle of dark red stood out against the grey carpet.
Kray scanned the room and crept inside.
She stepped around the stain to face the seated woman. Her arms and legs were covered in the same circular sc
orch marks and an angry bruise protruded from her cheek. Kray removed a pen from her jacket pocket and picked at one of the black marks, the material of her clothing was melted into her flesh.
The woman’s long blonde hair was singed at the ends and stained red from her blood-soaked chest. Kray put two fingers to the woman’s neck, her flesh was cold to the touch. She lifted the woman’s forehead and tilted her face towards hers. It was Catherine Stubbs, her eyes gazing out in a dead fish stare. Kray looked down to see the handles of six kitchen knives protruding from her chest.
He turned her into a human knife block.
‘Fuck it!’ she yelled at no one.
She stepped back, reaching for her phone. A control room operator picked up the call.
‘This is DI Kray requesting immediate backup at number fifty-seven, Heathcliff Road, flat two. And tell DCI Bagley to get here ASAP, tell him I’ve found the body of Catherine Stubbs.’ The voice on the other end protested. ‘I don’t care, get him here.’ She hung up.
I want Bagley to see for himself what a ‘slim chance’ really looks like.
27
I down my pint and order another. My hands are shaking and my mouth feels like its full of sand. The bar is full of early evening drinkers but I’m oblivious to them. The crack-crack-crack of small arms fire ricochets off the inside of my skull. I’m trying to hold it together but I swear insurgents are going to blast their way through the window at any moment.
I grip the brass rail that runs around the bar. The barman drops a bottle and it goes off like a firecracker when it bursts on the floor. I duck down and spin, facing the door. People turn and laugh but they don’t understand what’s coming.
A call of ‘Hooray!’ erupts around the pub and the bar man holds his arms aloft. I haul myself to my feet and look around.
I feel a hand on my arm and turn to face my assailant, fist clenched, ready to go.
‘Whoa there, big guy. It’s me.’
I stare at the man next to me, trying to unscramble his face. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to …’
‘It’s okay, do you want another beer?’
‘Yeah.’ I stand with my head bowed, both hands gripping the brass rail. ‘Sorry, I don’t feel so good.’
He orders two lagers. ‘I know. Let’s get a couple of seats away from the bar.’ The drinks arrive, he picks them up and we find a quiet spot in the corner.
‘Cheers.’ He raises his glass and I do the same. He sips the bubbles off the top of his, while I down half of mine. ‘I was surprised to get your message, it’s been a while.’
‘Yeah, I know, sorry about that. It’s good of you to come along at such short notice. I’m trying to keep my head down and get on with things, but today got too much.’
‘Okay well the first thing you have to do is stop apologising, and the second thing you need to do is sup the rest of that and think about what you want to tell me. I’ll get us two more.’
I sat with my face in my pint, or would have done so had I not sunk the other half in one go.
He returns with two more and lines his up side by side on the table.
‘What happened?’ he asks.
‘I told you Julie had moved out.’
‘Yes you did.’
‘We had a joint account and we decided to close it, you know, tidying up loose ends and all of that. I arranged to meet her at the bank to sign the necessary paperwork.’
‘You could have done that separately, you didn’t have to—’
‘I know, I know. I thought it would be good to see her again and it seemed harmless enough.’
‘And?’
‘The bank woman took us through to a small office to complete the paperwork and share out the monies left in the account. It’s been so long since I’d seen her, we got on well and she looked fucking amazing. When we finished we went outside and I couldn’t see her car, so I offered her a lift. She said she didn’t need one because she already had one. Then a car draws up alongside us with her boss in the driver’s seat. You know the fat twat who she said she couldn’t stand the sight of. She said her goodbyes and got in.’
‘What happened next?’
‘I saw fucking red. I wanted to drag his sorry arse out of the car and rip his head off - again.’
‘Please tell me you didn’t.’
‘No, they left me standing there like a knob.’
‘Thank God for that.’
‘And then it all kicked off in my head. The explosions, the gun fire, the rampant paranoia, the full works. That’s when I messaged you.’
‘How do you feel now?’
‘Better. I feel better now you’re here.’
He picks up his beer and takes a slug. ‘Good, and the noises?’
‘Pretty much gone.’
‘And the anxiety?’
‘I’m coming down.’
He raises his glass and we chink. ‘Cheers to that,’ he says. ‘And well done for not beating the shit out of him in front of Julie.’ We chink glasses. ‘Let me take a look.’ He turns my face to the light and touches my cheek with his fingers. ‘That’s coming along a treat, are you still on medication?’
‘No, not anymore. It occasionally itches like fuck but most of the time it’s okay.’
‘You’ve done well. That was tough to get through.’
We stay and chat for over an hour. He does the usual thing of trying to convince me that counselling is the answer. I tell him to piss off and go diagnose someone else. As we stand outside the pub we go through the same closing remarks we always do:
‘Don’t message me unless you’re dying,’ he says.
‘The only time I message you is when I’m dying.’
He walks one way and I walk the other.
I probably won’t see him again, until the next time I’m dying.
* * *
Kray stared down at her shoes, they were damp but minus the carpet of grass that normally clung to them.
They don’t cut the grass in January.
She craned her neck to see cloaks of grey scudding across the night sky, blown along by the wind sweeping in off the Irish Sea. For once it wasn’t raining. The moon cast a silvery glow across the grass, which was gradually turning white with frost.
She crested the brow of the hill and an expanse of beautiful gardens opened up in front of her. Even in the moonlight the flowers that carpeted the ground stood out against the solemn backdrop. Kray made her way along the manicured pathway, taking in the scene stretching out in front of her. It was peaceful and serene. She hated this place with a fucking passion.
Kray pulled her coat tight around her body in a vain attempt to keep warm, while stamping her feet like she was marching in time to a military band.
‘Sorry I’ve not been for a while, things have been pretty hectic at work. And I thought, well, you’re not going anywhere so anything I have to say can wait. I didn’t get that job, you know, the one I went for, the DCI role. They gave it to Dan fucking Bagley, you remember, the prick from GMP who almost screwed up the Palmer case? Well anyway he got it. To be honest I don’t think I stood an ice cream’s chance in hell with Quade chairing the panel. But the worse part of it was, I convinced myself I did.’ She pulled a cloth from her coat pocket and wiped the top of the marble stone.
‘I don’t know what it is about the guy but no matter what he says or does, he gets right on my tits.’ She knelt down and began to clean the front, spitting on the material and paying particular attention to the lettering that made up the words Joseph Kray.
‘So, I had a bit of a meltdown when I didn’t get it and applied for a job in a solicitors. I know, don’t laugh. Can you see me working in an office like that … no, me neither. I got an interview out of it though and absolutely nailed it, but I know that’s not the right move for me. I’ve decided I need to get out of CID, so I’ve applied to head up the Criminal Justice Unit, which will be a welcome change for me. It will probably be a major fucking shock for them, but that’s their problem.’
Kray picked the dead flowers from the vase and replaced them with a fresh a bunch of tulips, topping up the water from a bottle. She could see the brass pin sitting at the base of the headstone. The pin that saved her life.
‘Don’t know if I’ll get an interview and with what’s kicking off at the moment they might not let me go. Though I think Bagley would jump at the chance to see the back of me.’
Kray paused. Tears welled against her bottom eyelids.
‘Oh yes and there was something else …’ She coughed and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. ‘I had company the other night. He’s a nice guy called Chris Millican, you’d like him. He reminds me of you, or at least his smile …’ She stopped and choked back the tears. ‘His smile reminds me of you. I’d had a shitty day and asked him to come over to have a chat and help me drown my sorrows. I think I did most of the chatting and most of the drinking, and one thing led to another … you know.’
Kray straightened up staring at the sky, mopping at the tears streaming down her cheeks. ‘It’s nothing serious, I think we share a liking for white wine and shit conversation. Anyway, I plan to see him again … I thought you’d want to know.’ She scrunched the cloth into her pocket. ‘So that’s my news, do you have any?’
* * *
She trudged back and got into her car feeling drained and peered into the rear-view mirror, running her fingers through her hair trying to make herself presentable.
Who am I fucking kidding?
The engine kicked into life and she pulled out of the car park. A bottle of wine was waiting for her in a strange fridge. A bottle of wine that would be opened and poured by a Home Office pathologist with a liking for waistcoats and tight trousers.
28
Kray rang the doorbell and stood in the cold, tapping both her feet on the ground and a bottle to her hip. She pressed the button again. The butterflies in her stomach were going berserk.
‘Calm down, you silly cow,’ she muttered to herself, ‘it’s just a meal.’
