by Kaylie Kay
Susan was glad she had had the foresight to put a small beach dress in her handbag as she walked back into the hotel lobby the next day and bumped straight into Julie Margot at the coffee bar by the entrance. Her manager’s hair was perfect as always but she didn’t look quite as groomed as usual and her big sunglasses were hiding her eyes.
‘Good night?’ Susan asked knowingly.
‘Oh amazing, you really missed some fun. Are you feeling better today?’
‘Oh yes, much better thanks, just the trip I needed. So how did it go? Did everyone make it home?’
‘Oh, you know how these nights go.’ That was all the information Susan was going to get, and she did know.
‘Two black coffees.’ The barista handed Julie the two cups and Susan raised her eyebrows. Julie just smiled, without a flash of embarrassment. Not another word was said as they walked to the lift.
‘See you at checkout,’ said Julie as she got out on the fifth floor, with her two drinks.
‘Yep, see you then,’ smiled Susan, stifling her giggles.
Chapter 8
It was early, a little after eight, and Luke was in the garden again as Susan drove into her driveway. Landing days were always a struggle, as the line between Susan Kennedy and Susan Harrison was somewhat blurred. By tomorrow she would be able to look at him without these feelings that he stirred, but today it was probably best that she avoided him. Perhaps she needed to look at rescheduling him to come in on days other than landing day, for her own sanity.
She groaned when she saw the black Bentley parked in front of the house signalling that her in-laws were still in situ, having hoped that they would be gone by now. It had been a hard flight home, with a full crew performing below par making each service a little more of a struggle, and she had no energy left for these two.
The dogs ran out to meet her, followed by the children, ready for school in their uniforms, Jeff coming behind them all to take her bags.
‘I’m so glad you’re home, Mum, I can’t take much more,’ Sophia said quietly as she hugged her. ‘Grandma’s been driving me mad.’
‘Oh dear, don’t worry, I’m back now,’ Susan soothed, somewhat amused by her daughter’s own feelings about them.
‘Mum and Dad insisted on staying to see you,’ Jeff apologised. Even he knew that his parents could be overbearing, and there was no denying that they looked down on Susan. Even though they had now been married for so long, and with two children, she knew that they still thought she was a gold digger and after their son’s money. Perhaps in some ways they weren’t wrong, but she wouldn’t have stayed with just any rich man, she did love Jeff, it was just that the money made it more appealing and easier. And besides, she worked hard in this marriage, looking after him and their children, putting herself second to their needs all of the time that she was home.
‘You look tired, Susan,’ said Margaret as she walked into the hall. She was smiling, but Susan knew that it was fake. Her pink lipstick and rouged cheeks added colour to the aged face, a string of pearls and neat bobbed hair setting her into the rich old lady category perfectly.
‘Oh, hello, Margaret, how lovely to see you. You’re looking well.’ Susan ignored her comment, she was better than that. She walked over and air-kissed her cheek.
Jeff’s father, George, shuffled through from the dining room. His nose seemed to have got bigger and redder since the last time Susan had seen him, testament to his love of a good single malt whisky.
‘George, lovely to see you, how are you?’ Of the two he was the easier to like.
‘Can’t complain, not too bad, thank you.’
‘I’m so pleased that I got to see you both, I thought I was going to miss you.’ She had hoped that she would, anyway.
‘No, no, we couldn’t have had that. Anyway, let’s get you some coffee, you look like you need it,’ said Margaret, leading them through to the kitchen.
‘So, Susan, when are you going to give up this awful job?’ asked Margaret as she passed her a coffee minutes later. ‘It’s not very becoming of the wife to someone in Jeff’s position to be serving people, you know.’
Susan was speechless, despite the fact that this certainly wasn’t the first time Margaret had expressed her opinion on the matter. The three of them were looking at her, waiting for her response, and she looked at Jeff pleadingly, hoping he would come to her defence, but he didn’t.
‘Oh, Margaret, you all know I love my job, I couldn’t possibly give it up.’
‘But you don’t need to work, Susan, my son provides for you all and takes care of you.’
‘I know he does.’ Susan could feel the anger rising as they all stared at her; how dare they bully her, and on landing day of all days. ‘And I look after them all very well too, Margaret.’ It was a two-way contract, how dare she suggest otherwise.
‘Well I think you are very selfish, leaving them like you do, you should be here.’
‘Mother.’ Finally Jeff stepped in, and Susan was so relieved to have an ally. ‘Susan knows I would like her to stay home too but she has her own mind and won’t budge so I can’t force her.’
Susan stood up; that was it! He wasn’t her ally, he was making it worse.
‘Anyway, Jeff, are you taking the children into school before you go to work?’ She had to end this conversation before she lost her composure.
‘Oh yes, is that the time?’ He looked down at his Rolex.
‘We may as well leave with you, son,’ said George, ‘let Susan get some rest.’
‘Well it was lovely to see you both,’ she lied, speaking through gritted teeth, ‘please come back very soon.’
She waved everyone off from the front steps, relieved beyond words that they were gone. Her anger still bubbled below the surface, and she slipped on some flat shoes, summoning the dogs to walk around the garden with her to get some fresh air. It was a beautiful late September day, and she breathed in deeply, feeling instantly better. She walked down past the pool that was covered up now for the autumn, and towards the summer house, watching the two dogs jumping around playfully without a care in the world.
The summerhouse was her retreat, the place she escaped to when she needed to pull a face or let out a scream, a bit like the galley on the plane. She went in and reclined on the cream couch, closing her eyes for a moment. She must have fallen asleep, the knocks on the window confusing her dreams, and she lay for a moment trying to work out where in the world she was.
‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,’ said Luke, standing in the door, a vision of beauty.
Susan Harrison didn’t mind Luke waking her at all.
Chapter 9
She’d crossed the line, she’d lost control. Susan was furious with herself. Of course, she knew what had happened, she had forgotten where she was for that moment, still in her uniform, woken from her dreams of faraway places. She couldn’t remember what had been said, or not said, that had moved them from her being woken to the delicious encounter that they had just had. She couldn’t deny that she had enjoyed it, that she wanted more, but not here, not in this life!
The others were easy, she left them in their cities far away, with Susan Harrison, and there were rules. Here though she must be Susan Kennedy, and Susan Kennedy couldn’t do things like this, she had far too much to lose. It must never happen again! She stood under the water that pulsated from the shower, washing it away, controlling her breathing, putting it in perspective. She could always fire Luke, that would make things easier, but it wasn’t his fault. No, she would just avoid him from now on, especially on landing day.
As she walked around the food aisle hours later she knew that she needed to be amazing tonight. To be the best wife, to prove to Jeff, but more so to herself, that she was as good as she knew that she was. That little blip wouldn’t happen again. She swiped away the memories of the morning’s encounter with Jeff and his parents; they would never change, nor would he ever give up on getting her to leave her job. But if she could just maintain her perfection at ho
me then she could justify her breaks to herself more easily.
Jeff wrestled with the front door, she could hear him from the kitchen. The children had been fed and were both in their rooms, as it was past seven o’clock after all. She had made an extra effort tonight, even down to the underwear that she knew he would like. Her dress fit perfectly, showing off her figure, and despite being in the house she would keep the designer heels on for the evening.
A huge bouquet of flowers came through the kitchen door first, hiding her husband behind them, so no wonder he had had trouble opening the front door. The purple tissue paper rustled as he struggled with carrying his briefcase and them, and she moved quickly to relieve him of his load.
‘Jeff they are beautiful,’ she sighed, feeling quite humbled.
‘And so are you.’ Jeff looked at her admiringly before pulling her to him and kissing her. ‘I needed to say sorry for my parents, well my mother, God she was awful to you this morning.’
Susan couldn’t disagree, taking the flowers to the sink without saying anything.
‘I know I give you a hard time about your job, but I shouldn’t have let them. I’ve been thinking about it all day, I’m sorry I didn’t fight your corner for you.’
‘Apology accepted,’ she said softly; she couldn’t say that it was okay, because it wasn’t. Perhaps if had supported her she wouldn’t have gone in the garden, and she wouldn’t have slept with Luke. Perhaps a little bit of it was his fault. She felt somewhat better sharing the blame with him, not that he had any idea.
‘Something smells wonderful.’ He wrinkled his nose.
‘Beef Wellington, my love,’ she announced.
‘My favourite.’ He was pleased, she could tell.
‘I know,’ Susan replied matter-of-factly as she helped him off with his jacket and gestured for him to sit at the table that she had laid for two.
‘If you spoil me like this you can’t wonder why I hate you being away.’
‘Sssh,’ she said, pouring herself a glass of champagne before taking the food from the oven. ‘Just enjoy being spoiled.’
‘No arguments here.’
Jeff looked so relaxed and happy as they sat and ate dinner together. He got animated as he told her about his experience on the underground that day, and she laughed. She had always loved his sense of humour, it was how he had first got her to go on a date with him. She hadn’t known then that he was rich, and she wouldn’t have cared if he wasn’t, he was gorgeous and funny and back then that was all that had mattered to the twenty-two-year-old her. She doubted that they would have stayed together so long in poverty though, suspecting that she would have got bored.
As they enjoyed each other’s company she felt guilty about Luke. She had never felt guilty before, but this was different, it was at their home, and she couldn’t feel good about it. With the guilt came compassion for this wonderful man who had promised to love her ‘until death us do part’, and when she told him she loved him that night she meant it more than she had for a long, long time.
Chapter 10
‘I think we should all have a holiday, Jeff, we haven’t had a family holiday for ages,’ Susan said as she made his coffee the next morning. Jeff was still dopey-eyed from their night together, and she suspected that he would give her just about anything she asked for right now. It was true though, he was working long hours, and they hadn’t been away together for a long while. She would love to spend some quality time with the children before they grew up any more.
‘Great idea, where are you thinking?’
‘How about Dubai? It’s half term soon, we could go then.’
‘Anything you want, book it up, just let Janice know the dates so she can arrange my diary.’ Janice was his PA, and was as invaluable to Jeff as Lucy was to Susan.
‘You are wonderful, thank you.’
‘I know, don’t you forget it,’ he quipped as he put on his jacket. Susan loved that his old self was still in there beneath the ageing man, and she waved him off from the door with a smile on her face, a real smile.
As she turned to go back in, the gates opened again and Luke’s small yellow van drove through them, so she quickly ran inside and closed the door. What the hell had she been thinking? Risking all of this for a boy in a yellow van?!
Susan parked her car at the school and walked the children into the playground. Sophia ran off straight away, a little embarrassed by her mum’s choice of bright gym wear. Lewis, however, stayed stoically by her side, he wouldn’t care if she wore a sack. Anyway, it was designer gym wear and she was going straight to the gym, so quite why her daughter was embarrassed was beyond her.
The bell rang and she waved them both off, turning back to her car. The gym was her only outlet at home, the only time she took for herself, pretty much her only social life. She didn’t really have any close friends anymore, getting married so young to someone so removed from her own world had cut most of her ties, but she didn’t mind. There was a group of nice ladies in her classes that she would work out with, sometimes going for coffee after, or inviting each other to barbecues and so forth, and that was enough for her. If she had close friends it would mean being open and honest, because that’s what close friends did, and she couldn’t imagine telling anyone the whole truth about her life. Susan wasn’t a worrier though, she didn’t worry about things that might or might not happen in the future. She suspected that one day she would tire of the flings and settle more, and maybe then she would let people get a little closer, open up a bit more.
‘Hey, Susan,’ called Martha, setting up her equipment in the fitness studio. Susan walked over and put her bag down against the wall behind her. Martha was about the same age as her, with a similar life, her husband albeit a little younger than Jeff.
‘Hi.’ Susan laid a mat next to her.
‘Been anywhere nice lately?’
‘Actually, Miami,’ Susan said. No one judged her here for her job. They were all wealthy, few of them worked, but their husbands were all too busy working and earning the money for them to travel a fraction of the amount that she did.
‘Oh wow, that must have been lovely,’ Martha sighed.
‘Oh, it was.’ That was all that she was prepared to say.
A pretty blonde girl she hadn’t seen before had laid a mat down next to her, and Susan turned to introduce herself.
‘Susan, this is Laura, she joined last week when you were away.’ Martha got in there first.
‘Hi, Laura, nice to meet you,’ Susan smiled.
‘You too,’ she smiled back. ‘You must be the flight attendant with the beautiful house.’
Susan looked at Martha with raised eyebrows, amused that she’d been the subject of conversation whilst she was away.
‘Yes, that’ll be me,’ she laughed. Martha looked a little embarrassed.
‘Martha was telling me all about your garden, I mentioned we were looking for a gardener. We’ve just moved into the area and the old place is a bit overgrown.’
‘Oh, I see.’ Now she understood a little better how she had come up in conversation. ‘Yes, Luke, he does a fab job, I can give you his details if you like?’
‘That would be amazing, thank you.’
Susan was more than happy to give Luke’s number out, as hopefully he would get so busy elsewhere he would have to leave his job with her. She could hope.
When she returned from the gym the yellow van was still there, Lucy’s mini parked next to it. She quickly jumped out of the car and ran into the house. She wondered how long she could keep this awkwardness up, maybe she would have to speak to him.
In the safety of her house, as he rarely came inside, she climbed the stairs to her suite for a shower. Never as she grew up could she have imagined that her bedroom would one day be the same size as the footprint of her childhood home. Lucy had obviously been in, her sumptuous oversized bed made perfectly. A dressing room lay off to one side, walls lined with bags and shoes, rails of clothes hung in order. The ensuite ba
throom was a spa in itself, with its whirlpool bath and wet room, towels rolled neatly and toiletries organised perfectly. She walked over to the bedroom window, gazing out over the garden down to the fields that lay behind, appreciating everything that she had.
Her stomach knotted when she saw the two of them, standing too close to each other, deep in conversation, Luke and Lucy. She had never seen them talk before, and her mind whirred as she imagined what they were saying. Surely, they weren’t friendly enough for him to tell Lucy about the summer house? Susan felt the panic rising, breathing deeply and trying to talk herself down. You are just being paranoid, she told herself, because of what you did. It worked a little bit, her heart rate slowing some, but she couldn’t quite accept it. She watched them, she thought she saw him gesture in the direction of the summer house, and they talked for several minutes more before Lucy turned and walked back to the house.
She couldn’t live like this, feeling out of control, her world at risk. Something would have to be done.
Chapter 11
‘Hi, Lucy, how are you today?’ Susan asked casually as she walked into the kitchen, showered and ready to tackle the problem.
‘Fine thank you, and yourself?’
Was there an undertone? Was she speaking to her differently? Susan called on all of her senses to work out if Lucy knew anything.
‘Oh, pretty good, I had a great work out this morning. I can see you’ve been busy in the house, I really don’t know what I’d do without you.’ She made eye contact with her and held it so that she could read her better.
‘You’re too kind. I dare say you’d manage fine without me, it’s just a lot of rooms to clean, that’s all,’ Lucy said kindly. Susan started to relax, Lucy was being perfectly normal.
‘I don’t know about that,’ she disagreed light-heartedly, turning away to fill the coffee machine with beans. ‘Lucy, is everything okay with Luke? I saw you talking to him in the garden earlier and he looked concerned.’ She turned back quickly to see what reaction was provoked on her face, but couldn’t read it.
