by Kaylie Kay
As many times as she had done it, there was absolutely nothing that Susan enjoyed about doing a manual demonstration. She walked reluctantly to her demo position, carrying her beige leather pouch, dropping it unceremoniously on the floor at the aircraft door.
‘It will be good for you all to have a little refresher,’ the flight manager had smiled in the briefing, taking it upon herself to give them all the opportunity. Most managers were quite happy just to play the video and get the crew to point out the exits, but oh no, not Martha Blakeman, the smiling assassin! How to get a flight off to a good start, piss off your crew, Susan thought, looking up the aircraft at Martha as she sat smugly on her jump seat watching them.
‘A copy of the safety instruction card is in your seat pocket.’ Martha’s raspy voice rattled over the PA. Susan held up the laminated card, struggling to keep the faint smile on her face as she turned it around. Susan Harrison wouldn’t have struggled quite so much, but once again Susan Kennedy had come to work, all full of family and Christmas, and not needing to be here, it definitely wasn’t the right job for this Susan.
‘A life jacket is underneath your seat....’ Susan shook out the yellow rubber inflatable, getting it caught in her hair as she put it clumsily over her head. ‘Blow in the tube like this...’ Susan Harrison would have made this funny, but Susan Kennedy just pinched the small black tube between her fingers, letting it quickly go again. She hoped that she would never have to don a life jacket on an aircraft for real, for that would be a really bad day.
‘Oxygen masks will fall from overhead....’ Oh, will this fun never end, Susan cried silently, glad that it was nearly over. Sometimes nobody would watch you, but today the passengers were obviously not so well travelled, all watching her intently, heads sticking out in the aisles or over the tops of the seats in front of them.
‘The cabin crew will point out your exits now....’ It was the bit that everyone knew, and she saw at least three camera phones pointed at her as she extended her arms, turning around and pointing out the exits behind her. It crossed her mind for a minute that if any of those videos which had just been taken were to end up in the wrong hands she would actually be embarrassed, and for the first time ever she wondered if Jeff’s mum might actually be right. She pictured the horsey mums in the playground laughing at her in her rubber jacket and felt her cheeks flush. Susan Harrison wouldn’t have cared what they thought, but she wasn’t here today, there was too much shopping to be done for her distractions.
‘Thank God that’s over,’ Susan said back in the galley as she put her props back into their pouch.
‘Oh, I know,’ said Claire in agreement. Susan had flown with her before, but neither of them could recall where. ‘I can’t stand it either.’
That made Susan feel better, that it wasn’t just a Susan Kennedy thing. She was a bit afraid lately, what with Susan Harrison’s shrinking circle, that this may not be the job for her anymore, and that made her sad. After all, once upon a time she had enjoyed it without the excitement of the other men, and she hoped that she could find her love for it again as this Susan. She still had the lure of the lifestyle, the hotels, the shopping without distractions, the beaches, the nights out......what other job would give her all of that? She imagined herself just staying at home and realised that she did still need this, as a Harrison, or a Kennedy, and she was relieved. Yes, the haters could laugh at her if they wanted, but they wouldn’t be shopping in Canada tomorrow, or ordering room service tonight.
‘Are you coming for a drink tonight?’ Claire asked as they sat on their jumpseats at the back doors as the plane taxied to the runway.
‘Yes,’ Susan said without hesitation. It hadn’t been her original plan for the trip, but Susan Kennedy needed to find her love for it again, it wasn’t all about Susan Harrison after all.
Chapter 53
Wherever they were in the world the pilots could always sniff out an Irish bar, and that was exactly where they had found themselves. The usual dark wood floors and wall panelling, the picture of a shamrock above the door, along with the Irish bar staff, told you exactly where you were. It was happy hour too, of course, generally the deciding factor on which bar they went to, and the drinks were soon flowing to the long table that the crew were occupying. It was a good turnout, only a couple not coming, Martha thankfully being one of them.
This was one of the things that Susan, either one, did love, how a group of people who had probably never met before, could sit in a bar and make conversation about anything. From poached eggs to more risqué subjects as the drinks went down, nothing was ever off limits, and no language too colourful.
‘How’s Olivia, Claire?’ Gemma, who had been working in the front cabin leant across and asked Claire, who was sitting next to Susan.
‘Yeah, she’s getting there, I think, they’re trying to work through things,’ Claire replied in a serious tone.
‘Who’s that?’ asked Susan, wondering who they were talking about.
‘Olivia Kaye, do you know her?’ Claire asked.
Susan shook her head slowly.
‘I don’t think I do, but the name rings a bell. What happened to her?’ Susan was rubbish at remembering names, there had been far too many in this job. ‘If you don’t mind me asking?’
‘Oh, I’m sure she won’t mind me talking about it, she’s quite open,’ Claire shrugged. Susan doubted that it would have mattered if she did or didn’t, as clearly Claire wasn’t one for keeping confidences. ‘Her fiancé was having an affair, and the crazy bitch he was sleeping with pretended to be pregnant with his baby, stalked her, and then nearly killed her.’
Claire said it with a matter-of-factness that came from telling the story many times. Susan was shocked, and sat for a while in stunned silence, trying to process all of the separate parts that she had just heard, especially the last bit.
‘Tried to kill her?!’ she exclaimed, eventually.
‘Yep, right outside my house, she ran her over.’ Claire held up her empty wine glass to signal the waitress over.
‘Oh my God.’ Susan was still shocked. ‘What the hell was he thinking getting involved with someone crazy like that?’ Susan suddenly flashed back to Mark and his wife, there were nutters everywhere she guessed.
‘It was Olivia who introduced them ironically, offered her a job as his personal assistant, but she wanted her man too.’ Claire shrugged again as the waitress appeared. ‘A Chardonnay and nachos please.’
‘Another white wine for me too please,’ Susan added to the order. She tried to think of any comparisons that could be drawn from her own affairs but she was pretty sure that none of them were going to try and kill Jeff, the unlikelihood of it amusing her a little.
‘So, watch your husbands’ secretaries, girls,’ warned Claire, looking around the table seriously before smiling to signal she was finished.
It hit Susan in the stomach, and caught her by absolute surprise, the image of Janice wanting Jeff, of her actually pursuing her husband. Was she stupid to honestly believe that he wouldn’t be tempted? It wasn’t the first time it had crossed her mind, but it was the first time it had made her feel like this, made her stomach flip.
‘Thank you.’ Her wine arrived just in time, and she took a big gulp in an effort to wash away the thoughts. ‘So, are they still together?’
‘Yep, but I think she’s struggling to forget it all.’
‘I bet,’ Susan said. She had wondered on more than one occasion whether Jeff would forgive her if he ever found anything out, and now she wondered if she could ever forgive him, despite being fully aware that meant she had double standards.
‘The shame was that Tom, her other half, was a really good guy, he just didn’t have enough willpower to fight the girl off, she was too calculating for him.’ Claire was still talking but Susan’s mind was wandering now, remembering how gorgeous Janice had looked the last time she saw her, wondering if Jeff would be able to resist her if she decided to have him.
‘I
hope they can get through it,’ she said, and she meant it. She was sure Tom’s affair had been as meaningless as all of hers, that he never meant to hurt their relationship any more than she wanted to risk hers. The only difference was that Jeff would never find out about Susan Harrison, she wasn’t even his wife... oh but then there was Luke, but that was over now. Susan shook herself, this whole train of thought was pointless.
‘Anyone for shots?’ she said loudly, looking around the table for allies. She needed to get wasted now, after all of that, and by the show of hands she wasn’t the only one!
Susan looked down at herself in the bed, fully clothed including her shoes. It had been a long time since she had woken up down route like this, and she let out a chuckle that was quickly silenced by the pain in her head. So, Susan had made it to bed, alone, despite the amount of alcohol that had clearly been drunk. Maybe it was okay to be Susan Kennedy at work, apparently she could have a pretty good time too!
She kicked off her heels and got up slowly, making her way to the bathroom, hoping that there were some painkillers in her wash bag. She still had a full day of shopping to get through, and a night flight home, so this current state of disability just wouldn’t do!
Chapter 54
‘Susan!’ Susan had been a million miles away until Martha’s voice brought her back to reality.
‘I’m sorry, what was the question?’ She didn’t care that the manager was looking at her as if she wanted to kill her, who did a full inbound safety briefing anyway? It was completely unnecessary, and in her current state of weakness from both the hangover and the shopping, she could really do without it.
‘How do you deploy a raft and separate it?’ Martha said sternly, looking at her like a Victorian schoolteacher. Susan stopped herself from groaning and rolling her eyes like a naughty schoolchild in response.
‘Open the door in automatic......’ she recited the procedure that was drilled into them every year on their safety training. It was another in the long list of things that she knew which she hoped she would never have to put into practice. Riding the waves of the North Atlantic in an inflatable raft with sixty people in it, trying to tie up to the others, set off flares and scare off sharks, all while administering first aid, repairing punctures and collecting rainwater just didn’t sound like something she could easily do. It was a nice idea of course, that they had a backup plan if things went really wrong, but she would much rather be inside the plane giving out meals than doing all of that!
Relieved that the briefing was over they all returned to their parts of the plane to get ready for boarding. Susan joined the queue for the crew cart; even a dry tuna sandwich would be welcome right now, anything to mop up this upset stomach. How she had got through the day’s shopping she had no idea, but she had, and now her list was all ticked off, and as predicted her cases were bursting at the seams.
‘Whose idea were the shots?’ groaned Gemma.
‘Sorry, mine,’ Susan said apologetically. She was grateful that she wasn’t the only one suffering.
‘PA check from the flight deck.’ They all stopped talking as the captain made his announcement. ‘Eight and a half hours home tonight. There’s a lot of weather around so I will be keeping you all strapped in for a while after take-off. Here comes the evac alarm test.’ Horns started beeping from the doors and the crew scattered to go and turn them off, giving Martha a thumbs up to confirm they were working.
As Susan sat at her door thirty minutes later, the captain’s words came back to her. ‘Some weather,’ he had said. The connotations of what he had said had missed her, but now as their aircraft struggled through the invisible hills and mountains of the air, she wished that she had paid more attention, been more mentally prepared. Her stomach reeled as she was reduced to near-weightlessness for a moment, before being pulled heavily back into her seat again.
The engines sounded as if they were straining to climb this mountain, and the noise of the hydraulics seemed much louder than normal as the pilots adjusted every flap they had to negotiate the climb. It seemed to go on forever and Susan could feel the watery sensation at the back of her mouth that warned her the tuna sandwich might not be staying down much longer. Against all safety protocol she released herself from her straps and, clinging to the handle that was moulded into the wall behind her, reached into the small galley cupboard that held the sick bags.... just in time!
Claire looked across at her in amused sympathy.
‘Oh, babe, are you okay?’
‘Better now, thanks,’ Susan replied, sure that she had nothing left to bring up. She was relieved that the plane seemed to have climbed above the weather now and things were starting to settle.
‘Excuse me,’ a voice called from just in front of the galley. Susan glanced out to see a lady holding her own sick bag in the aisle. Susan looked at it, and then down at her own, which she was still holding.
‘One moment.’ She opened the canister holding the first aid kit and located the big yellow bags. The seatbelt signs pinged off and she walked into the aisle to relieve her fellow sick lady of her own stomach contents.
‘Excuse me’ another call from further up, and another sick bag.
Five minutes later Susan had completed her lap of the cabin and returned to the galley with her bag full of vomit from at least twenty stomachs. Her colleagues had watched her from the galley, laughing uncontrollably at her tortured face, and could barely speak as she walked past them.
‘That,’ she said, looking at the bag that she had dropped unceremoniously on the floor, ‘was the worst thing I have ever had to do on a hangover.’
Gemma gave her a hug, and Susan could feel the shakes of her laughter, having to concede and find the funny side too. She was relieved to notice that strangely her hangover had lifted, deciding that it must now be at the bottom of the yellow bag.
Susan enjoyed the euphoria that you get when you finally feel better, suddenly becoming the most energetic and positive crewmember on the plane. She breezed down the aisles with the meal service, probably a little too happy judging by the scared faces of some of the passengers as she smiled inanely at them; it was the middle of the night after all.
‘Breaks are written down on the side,’ the purser, Simon, said as they came in with the carts from the duty-free service. ‘Sorry it’s not a lot,’ he apologised.
They all gathered around the paper, the sick bag that had been used to write the timings of the breaks on. Susan was surprised that he had found any left to use.
‘Oh, they’re split in three,’ Gemma remarked flatly, but the undertone of ‘what-the-hell’ wasn’t lost on the others. It was a night flight, everyone was asleep. They all understood that you couldn’t have half the crew in bed on a busy day flight, but everyone split it in two on a night flight!
Except Martha.
They all looked at Simon, who rolled his eyes. He was professional enough not to say his true feelings, but it was clear he was on the same page as the rest of them. Susan felt her good mood wane slightly. People like Martha really pissed her off, awkward for the sake of being awkward, because they were in the position where no one took them to task. Well it was what it was, an hour would have to do.
‘Who wants what break?’ Claire asked, taking control and bringing everyone back in the moment. She was poised with her pen ready to assign names to the paltry time slots.
‘I’m easy,’ Gemma said. ‘I don’t have far to drive the other end.’
‘Can I have last please, I’ve got to get to Nottingham,’ groaned James.
‘I don’t mind first or second,’ added Susan. She just hated last, having to come back and get straight into the breakfast service was nauseating enough on a regular flight.
Claire wrote names next to the break times and they leant in around her, each happy with their assignments, despite their shortness in length. Susan was on first, so she put her cart away quickly and grabbed her bottle of water.
‘Okay, I’m off,’ she said; a pow
er nap would be the final piece in her recovery. She walked quickly down the aisle to the magic door at the back, her imaginary blinkers firmly on and making eye contact with no one, in case they asked her for something!
The three girls busied themselves getting things ready for breakfast, their breaks over and London getting closer.
‘When’s everyone flying next?’ asked Claire over her shoulder as she filled the coffee pots up.
‘Next year,’ Susan said smugly. She was excited to get back, this really was her last flight of 2017, and Christmas was going to begin the moment that she got home, beginning with Jeff’s party in a couple of days.
‘Lucky!’ said Claire, who was still full time. ‘I’ve got an Abuja in two days.’
‘Oh you poor thing.’ Susan did remember the days of being full time, without the flexibility to swap your flights around, and when you barely unpacked your case before you were packing it again.
‘New York,’ added Gemma, rather enthusiastically.
‘Of course,’ Claire said, as if she expected no less. ‘Where else would you be going!’
Susan felt like she was missing out on something, and that they were both in on it.
‘What’s in New York?’ she asked.
‘Her hot date,’ teased Claire. Gemma blushed, smiling shyly.
‘Oh, lucky you!’ Susan said, seeing that whoever it was clearly made Gemma very happy. ‘Where did you meet him?’
‘Just on a trip,’ Gemma said, obviously not ready to divulge all the details to someone she didn’t know very well. Claire, however, was always happy to share people’s secrets.
‘Literally, she didn’t even have to leave the hotel,’ she laughed.
‘Claire!’ Gemma exclaimed, wide-eyed. ‘I told you in confidence! Sorry, Susan, I didn’t really want everyone to know.’
‘Oh no worries, hon, I understand.’ She understood completely, glad that she hadn’t told Claire any of her own secrets.
