by Kaylie Kay
And if he was having an affair, what did that mean? She looked at her ring, the eternity ring that he had put lovingly on her finger just an hour ago. Surely you only give an eternity ring to someone you are going to spend an eternity with?
She knew that he loved her, yes that wasn’t in question, he adored her, and their life together, so he wouldn’t leave her for Janice, would he?
She shook her head. No, he wouldn’t leave, she felt certain of that, well almost certain.
So, if he was having an affair, what did that mean? She asked herself again. She thought of Susan Harrison, how she was able to have affairs without attachment, without any reflection on what she had here, with Jeff and their family. Maybe he was just doing the same? Maybe that was why Janice hated her, because she knew he would never leave her?
Maybe, she thought, trying to get control of her imagination, maybe he wasn’t even having an affair? That there was another explanation for the bag, and that Janice just hated her because she was jealous?
Yes, that was it. Susan stood still and nodded, that was a much more likely scenario, and the one she was going to stick with. Suddenly her world that had been swirling around her like a tornado began to fall back into place, things dropping back to where they should be. Jeff was a good man, a far better person than her, and he didn’t deserve to be judged by her standards. As she put him back on his pedestal in her mind she felt guilty, really guilty, for the first time ever. Guilty for how she had been, for disrespecting him, for taking him for granted. He deserved so much better.
‘Everything okay?’ Jeff asked as she walked back into the kitchen. He looked a little concerned, perhaps she hadn’t hidden her distress as well as she thought when she had excused herself.
‘Yes, of course,’ Susan smiled, heading for the champagne fridge. ‘Everything is perfect.’
She would ask him about the bag one day, when she could say it without emotion, and she knew he would give her a sensible explanation. But not today, not at Christmas. All that mattered was here and now, she told herself; it was becoming her mantra.
Chapter 62
Susan loved the whole month that ran up to Christmas, but now that it was over, and the New Year loomed, everything had lost its shine. The tree was starting to look tired, and the decorations seemed pointless now that the big day had gone. She reflected on the success of it, the picture-perfect family Christmas, trying to eliminate all thoughts of Janice and the bag from her memory, but they just wouldn’t disappear completely. After five days she could take no more when Jeff asked her for the hundredth time if she was okay, as she clearly was not as good at hiding some emotions as she was others.
‘I know there’s something wrong, please tell me what it is so I can do something about it,’ he implored as she took her makeup off.
‘It’s just something really stupid, you’ll think I’ve gone mad,’ she said nervously, aware that she would have to say it out loud now, keeping her back turned from him.
‘Oh, for God’s sake just say it.’ Jeff sounded frustrated, and she needed him to be relaxed in order to take what she was going to say the way she hoped that he would.
‘Okay, okay, sorry,’ she apologised, opening her drawer and taking out the receipt. She stood up and walked over to where he lay in bed.
‘What’s this?’ He was clearly confused, taking the receipt and trying to translate it.
‘It’s a receipt, Jeff,’ Susan said as calmly as she could. ‘For a Mulberry handbag, one that I actually really wanted myself.’
Jeff was still looking at the receipt, saying nothing. She was obviously going to need to explain further if he was to say what she needed him to say.
‘I found it in your blazer when I had it cleaned for Dubai, and I kept it because I presumed you had bought it as a gift for me.’
‘Oh,’ Jeff said slowly, the penny dropping. He still didn’t look up, nor did he say anything else.
‘I noticed that Janice had that exact bag at the Christmas dinner.’
There, it was out, everything was said that needed to be said, and she held her breath as she waited for her suspicions to be proved wrong.
‘And you thought what?’ Jeff was looking at her with an expression she was unfamiliar with. Was it disdain, annoyance? Was he offended?
‘I thought that maybe you had bought it for Janice,’ Susan said, thinking it best not to add that she had thought they were having an affair.
‘I did,’ Jeff said flatly, and Susan’s stomach felt as if he had just punched her in it. He was looking straight at her, and seemed to be daring her to question him as to why he would have bought Janice the bag.
‘Oh.’ Susan looked at the floor and bit her lip, thinking that she might cry.
‘I bought it for her because she lost her purse, and had no money, and she paid me back,’ he said deliberately.
Susan melted with relief, looking up sheepishly to meet his stare.
‘Sorry,’ she apologised again. ‘I told you you’d think I’d gone mad.’
‘Come here, you madwoman.’ Jeff’s smile was a welcome change from the other look he had held throughout, and she jumped into his arms before he had a chance to change it again. She stopped herself from defending her suspicions, because that would have meant bringing up Janice’s behaviour towards her again, and that, she knew, never went well. He had explained the bag, and she believed him, that was enough.
How about that coffee next week? Susan texted Mel the next morning. She had found an ally in Mel that night at the meal, and now that she needed someone to talk to she was glad that they had swapped numbers. Susan Kennedy’s life had always been so predictable before that she had never needed close friends. The girls from the gym were usually enough to tide her over with female conversation between flights, but with all of the emotional ups and downs of the last few days she really felt that she needed somebody who would listen, and someone who wouldn’t think she was imagining things.
Sounds great, when and where? Mel’s message came back almost immediately.
Come here, I’ll make us brunch and we can talk about your application! (And then we can talk about Janice), she added silently.
What day, and what’s your address?
Monday if that’s good for you? Susan added her address.
Perfect
Monday couldn’t come soon enough. There was just the matter of a meal out for New Year in between, and getting these decorations down, she mused, feeling a little overwhelmed by the scale of that operation. The sound of someone coming in the back door startled her for a moment, until she realised that it was Lucy, and her spirits lifted. Christmas had been amazing but it had been a lot of work, and she had missed her helper immensely.
‘Lucy, I’m so happy to see you!’ She wondered if Lucy appreciated just how indispensable she was.
‘Thank you.’ Lucy looked amused, and Susan suspected that she did realise.
‘How was your Christmas?’ she asked carefully.
‘Oh, it was lovely actually, quiet but lovely.’
Susan couldn’t help but notice how relaxed Lucy looked, as if her troubles had lifted and she had enjoyed her break. Like the superstar that she was though, within seconds she had cleared the kitchen sides and normality was being restored. Susan watched her with overwhelming affection, thinking that she really must talk to Jeff about giving her a pay rise, it was the season of goodwill after all!
Chapter 63
‘Welcome,’ Susan beamed as her soon-to-be new best friend got out of her car. She had decided that now Susan Harrison wasn’t so busy, Susan Kennedy needed more of a social life, and that was going to start with Mel.
‘Hi,’ Mel waved at her, but she seemed a little confused, looking around her before heading over to the house.
‘Come on in,’ Susan beckoned. She was used to people being overwhelmed when they first came here. Some would gush about how beautiful it all was, but those like Mel would just be a bit uneasy for a while, until they se
ttled in. It was okay, she would have her relaxed in no time.
Mel was still verging on mute when she led her into the kitchen and poured her a Buck’s Fizz; it was brunch after all, and brunch always went along with fizz.
‘Happy New Year,’ toasted Susan, prompting Mel to pick up her glass. Maybe a few bubbles would relax her and bring back the Mel from the party, she hoped.
‘Happy New Year,’ said Mel picking up her glass, still looking around, still distracted.
‘I’m so glad you could come over,’ smiled Susan. She wondered if she needed to tone down the enthusiasm, if she was being overbearing. ‘Please, take a seat.’ She led the way over to the table, pulling out a chair for herself. Mel followed her and sat opposite. She was smiling, that was a good thing, but it still seemed a bit forced. This wasn’t going how she had hoped it would, and she was unsure how to handle it.
‘Lovely house,’ said Mel eventually.
‘Thank you.’ Susan was well used to the compliment. ‘Are you hungry? I made us some food.’
She stood up again to get the platters that she had carefully prepared, bringing them over and setting them down on the table. Fresh fruits and pastries, along with meats and salmon, Susan had worked hard that morning to recreate some of the many brunches she had enjoyed around the world.
‘Wow, you really shouldn’t have gone to so much trouble, this looks amazing.’
‘It’s nothing really, I love entertaining,’ Susan said, not wanting her to feel any more overwhelmed than she obviously was. ‘Oh, clumsy me.’ Susan wiped a piece of the cream cheese from her green dress.
‘So, have you got that application in yet?’ Susan asked, handing Mel a plate.
‘Not yet, Christmas has been busy,’ she replied. ‘But I will do, very soon.’
‘Well let me know when you do, I have a friend who does a bit in recruitment that might be able to help you out.’
‘That’s brilliant, thank you.’
Ah, that was better, thought Susan, now she seemed to have her attention. Another ten minutes or so talking about her and she could move the conversation on to Janice.
‘Honestly, you’d be brilliant,’ Susan gushed. ‘And you could still do some of your bookkeeping around it, if you wanted to?’
‘Hmmm, only if I really need the money. I’d rather not taint my new glamorous lifestyle with people’s boring accounts.’ Mel rolled her eyes, leaning over to select some salmon and a fresh bagel from the platter.
‘I hear you,’ Susan agreed. ‘So how was your Christmas?’
Lucy walked into the room with her gloves on and various cleaning products in her hand, placing them down on the kitchen side. She was such a constant in the house that Susan hardly noticed her there, only turning to see her when she noticed Mel staring at her.
‘Mel?’ Her guest was absolutely transfixed on her housekeeper, not even chewing the food in her mouth as she watched her. Lucy on the other hand was oblivious, standing with her back to them, getting on with her work diligently, busying herself in the background like she usually did. Mel turned back to look at her, looking even more confused now than when she had first arrived, eyes wide but not focused on her, like she was a million miles away thinking about something monumental.
Now Susan was confused too; surely Mel had seen a cleaner before? Surely Jeff didn’t pay Nigel so little that her life was so far removed from this? She knew she had more than most, but it wasn’t Buckingham Palace, and Mel’s behaviour was beginning to be a little odd.
‘Mel?’ Susan prompted again. ‘Is everything okay?’
Mel shook her head, not in a ‘no’ way, more in a bringing herself back into the moment way.
‘I’m sorry, I was just thinking about something.’ She put her bagel, which she had barely touched, back onto her plate and dusted off her hands, looking back at Lucy again.
‘Who’s that?’ she asked, whispering, leaning forward, like she didn’t want her to hear.
‘Oh,’ Susan said, so obviously it was the presence of a cleaner that had made Mel so uncomfortable, perhaps she really was living in a very different world. ‘That’s Lucy, my housekeeper.’
Hearing her name Lucy turned around for just a second.
‘I don’t know what I’d do without her,’ Susan smiled at her. She turned back to Mel who now looked as if she had seen a ghost, and for a moment she wondered if she had choked on her food, such was the paleness of her face.
Crash!
Lucy dropped something on the floor, distracting her from asking Mel if she was okay, again. Without even stopping to pick whatever it was up, Lucy shot out of the back door, gone in the blink of an eye.
Susan sat speechless for a moment, both at Lucy’s skittish behaviour and at Mel’s. She was starting to think that it had perhaps been the wine that had blurred her judgement that night, and that this person was possibly not ‘friend’ material at all. She was verging on being quite odd, if Susan was honest with herself.
And what was with Lucy? She had seemed so normal this morning, and now she was acting weird again! Susan took a big sip of her Buck’s Fizz, suddenly feeling like the only sane one in the house.
‘Have you finished?’ Susan asked cordially after another minute of silence, not waiting for an answer before picking up the food that had hardly been touched. She couldn’t sit here much longer making conversation with someone who looked like a rabbit caught in the headlights. As for changing the subject to Janice, that would be just too much effort. No, brunch was over, she decided, her life was too short to spend it like this.
‘Susan.’ Mel’s voice surprised Susan as she put the food down on the side. She sounded serious, and when she turned to look at her she could see that she was back in the moment, the weird confused look replaced by one of concern. ‘You might want to sit down.’
Chapter 64
Susan couldn’t believe what Mel was telling her. No wonder she had been acting weird, she would have been exactly the same if she had been her. She had been in this house before, only it wasn’t her house, it was Lucy’s, and she had been here with Lucy’s ‘friends’.
‘Are you absolutely sure?’ she asked again, knowing the answer but not wanting to believe it. She couldn’t work out how Lucy had ended up inviting ‘friends’, and people that she obviously didn’t know, to her home, and pretending it was hers. It was all just too bizarre.
‘Oh, Susan, I wish I wasn’t, but I don’t think there is an exact copy of this house anywhere around here, with Lucy’s identical twin in it.’
Susan nodded; no, that would be a bad TV show.
‘Oh, and I’m ninety-nine per cent sure that she was wearing that dress you have on.’
Susan looked down at her dress and had a sudden urge to tear it off. She felt violated somehow. Lucy had not only been playing lady of the manor, but she had been wearing her clothes as well. What else had she done? All manner of thoughts started to go through her mind. Had she worn her underwear? Been through her things? Worn her jewellery?
Susan must have gasped out loud when she thought of the jewellery, because Mel leant forward and laid her hand over the top of her clenched fist.
‘What the hell do I do now?’ Susan looked at Mel, who had now become the rational and focussed one in the room.
‘I guess you need to talk to her, when you have had some time to think about it.’
Susan nodded. Yes, she needed to calm down first, rationalise it all, perhaps it wasn’t as bad as it seemed. Would she really have taken the jewellery though? Surely Lucy wouldn’t have done that? But she didn’t know Lucy as well as she thought she did, did she?
‘I should probably let you get on, I’m sure you’ll need a bit of quiet time to decide what you’re going to do.’ Mel was standing up, looking down at her bleakly. ‘Don’t get up, I can see myself out.’
Susan looked up and nodded.
‘Call me if you need me.’
‘Thanks, Mel, and I’m sorry you got dragged into all of this.�
� Susan was fighting a mix of emotions, from anger that her perfect life had been hijacked, to feeling vulnerable.
‘Oh don’t worry, I just hope you sort it out, I’m sure she never meant any harm.’
Susan nodded again; if this practical stranger could extend sympathy to the perpetrator, then surely she could? Yes, that would be how she would approach it, sympathetically, she would hear her out.
Lucy sat in her armchair and rocked back and forth. She knew the woman had recognised her, she could see it, and she knew that she would tell Mrs Kennedy. So that was it, her moment of madness had cost her a job that she loved, and here she was with a pile of bills to pay and no way to pay them. Why, oh why had she been so stupid as to worry about what Kate and Natasha thought of her? They didn’t matter, and yet she had been so reckless because of them.
When there was a knock on the door she knew who it was, and for a moment she thought she might just pretend to be out. Her boss wasn’t stupid though, she would have seen her car out front, and she owed her an explanation, she deserved that at least.
‘Come in,’ she said morosely, holding the door open. Any other day, under any other circumstances she would have felt ashamed to invite someone like Mrs Kennedy into her humble home, but today she didn’t care, it didn’t matter. Her boss walked down the hall, her head hanging, without saying a word. It wasn’t up to her to do the talking, Lucy knew that she was the only one that needed to do that.
‘Please sit down.’ She gestured to the worn sofa that was covered in a mink throw. The cat dozed peacefully at one end, not a care in the world, and they both watched him for a moment.
‘I’m so sorry.’ Lucy finally broke the silence, tears welling up in her eyes.
‘But why?’ asked Mrs Kennedy, who looked equally upset.
Lucy started from the beginning, leaving nothing out. From the first day when she had bumped into Kate at M&S to how Natasha had threatened to come around unannounced if she didn’t invite them. Mrs Kennedy just sat silently, listening.
