WAITING LADY. She must seem young and beautiful, no matter her age or natural appearance.
WAITING LADY. She is often told she is in danger –
WAITING LADY. Poison, treachery, insubordination, rebellion –
WAITING LADY. They tell her: all these things are just around the corner.
WAITING LADY. Only recently the locks on all the doors were changed, just in case.
WAITING LADY. So, sometimes, when she needs to think, she paces up and down this gallery with as few attendants as possible.
Enter WALSINGHAM.
WALSINGHAM. God save the Queen.
WAITING LADIES (murmuring). God save the Queen.
WALSINGHAM. How is your mistress this morning?
WAITING LADY. She slept deeply at first, then more fitfully at dawn, my lord.
WALSINGHAM. Did she eat before bed?
WAITING LADY. A light snack, my Lord.
WALSINGHAM. Meat, or fish?
WAITING LADY. Fish.
WALSINGHAM. Her cycle – is it regular now? Have her courses come?
WAITING LADY. She has not asked for her black girdle yet, my lord – she usually does when her bleeding starts.
WALSINGHAM. Perhaps she should have a hot bath.
WAITING LADY. Yes, my lord.
Enter THOMAS, very bouncy.
THOMAS. To the beauteous Ladies of the Bedchamber, I wish you a good morning!
WAITING LADY. My Lord Duke – the Queen is not expecting you today –
THOMAS. Indeed not – I am a pleasant surprise!
WAITING LADY. But she specifically instructed –
THOMAS. I do not need a special invitation to visit my cousin.
WALSINGHAM. I beg your pardon, my lord. You do.
THOMAS. Oh. Walsingham. There you are. I see that you do not wait for an invitation.
WALSINGHAM. My lord, I do not merit invitation; I merely follow instructions.
THOMAS. Is it true that one of the Gentlemen Ushers of the Privy Chamber has been awarded a castle in Hampshire worth one hundred pounds a year?
WALSINGHAM. I would not know, my lord.
THOMAS. He’s a glorified doorkeeper! She never gives me anything.
WALSINGHAM. Perhaps she feels you do not need it.
THOMAS. Well – the thought would be nice!
WAITING LADY. She comes!
A WAITING LADY throws rose petals on the floor. ELIZABETH enters. She is dressed to meet the public: full make-up, hair and dress. As she enters, they all curtsey deeply. WALSINGHAM bows.
WAITING LADIES. God save Your Majesty.
ELIZABETH. My Lord Walsingham.
WALSINGHAM. God save Your Majesty.
ELIZABETH. Norfolk? What brings you here?
THOMAS. Your Majesty. I am overjoyed to be back in your royal presence. My heart overflows with gladness / to be –
ELIZABETH. Yes, yes – no doubt – but what do you want?
THOMAS. To bring you this, madam.
He produces a jar of marmalade, with a flourish.
ELIZABETH. Marmalade.
THOMAS. From Spain, Your Majesty. With almonds and cinnamon.
ELIZABETH. My sister used to eat marmalade every day.
THOMAS. It is indeed the food of royalty, Your Majesty –
ELIZABETH. She thought it would help her have a child.
THOMAS (horrified). Oh – that was not why I – I mean – I did not bring you marmalade because I thought –
ELIZABETH. That it would bring about an immaculate conception?
THOMAS is deeply embarrassed. The WAITING LADIES giggle.
Don’t worry, Thomas. I’m the Virgin Queen, not the Virgin Mary.
THOMAS. Yes. Well…
ELIZABETH. My lord, I appreciate your service on my behalf, but please do not trouble yourself to overcommit your stay within my presence longer than might be convenient.
THOMAS is confused. The WAITING LADIES giggle again.
WAITING LADY. You can go.
THOMAS (offended). Your wish is my command.
ELIZABETH (relenting a little). Perhaps you would join us at supper?
THOMAS (with dignity). I would be honoured, Your Majesty.
THOMAS exits.
ELIZABETH. Is it me, or is that the third jar of marmalade in a month?
WAITING LADY. The fourth, Your Majesty.
ELIZABETH. There are no limits to the nobility’s faith in the power of citrus.
She dips her finger in the jar and tastes the marmalade. She likes sweet foods.
Mmm. I feel fruitful already.
Walsingham.
WALSINGHAM. Your Majesty.
ELIZABETH. Tell me the news of Mary.
WALSINGHAM. She has arrived safely at Tutbury Castle.
ELIZABETH. In good health?
WALSINGHAM. She complains of a pain in her side. No one knows the cause.
ELIZABETH. Where is that letter?
One of the WAITING LADIES holds out a letter for WALSINGHAM to read.
Apparently she wants to come to Whitehall. She longs to meet me.
WALSINGHAM (taking the letter). Your Majesty, do not consider it.
ELIZABETH. She is my cousin.
WALSINGHAM. You would be contaminated by her misfortune. The people hate her. She married the man that murdered her husband – it makes her appear complicit –
ELIZABETH. Obviously, she should not have married Bothwell, but I cannot believe her guilty of / such a –
WALSINGHAM. Madam, whether or not she is guilty is irrelevant. The point is that the Scots believe she is.
ELIZABETH. But there is an opportunity here. If I could bring Mary and the Scottish nobles together, be the means for restoring her to her throne, she would be dependent upon me.
WALSINGHAM. Your Majesty. Forgive my plain speaking. This is the best thing that has happened to you in a decade. She was your only rival for the throne; and now she is ruined – penniless, mistreated, a hapless prisoner.
Leave her in Tutbury, do not help her, do not permit her to come into your presence, do not restore her, do not allow her to escape.
Pause.
ELIZABETH. Lady Parry, please send for the Bishop of Ross.
WAITING LADY. Yes, Your Majesty.
LADY PARRY exits. ELIZABETH starts to pace angrily.
WALSINGHAM. I have displeased you.
Beat.
I apologise – I know my words seem harsh, / but –
ELIZABETH. Do you know what they did? They jeered at her as she was carried through the streets. A mob, hurling insults at a monarch. Is that what you endorse? A rabble overthrowing its queen? What sort of precedent does this set? A woman who has finally gained her rightful, God-given throne, through blood and toil and sacrifice, must then be violently treated, because she married someone they don’t like?
And you wonder why I don’t want to get married.
WALSINGHAM. But, Your Majesty, your situation is / entirely –
ELIZABETH. I will speak to the Bishop of Ross. He is her ambassador, after all. Then I will make up my own mind.
ELIZABETH exits, followed by the WAITING LADIES. WALSINGHAM exits separately.
Scene Seven
Tutbury. Enter GEORGE.
GEORGE. When Queen Elizabeth first told me of our royal guest I was honoured, of course, and grateful to be asked. But concerned, nevertheless. The cost, the difficulty, and the social complications of a queen who must be treated with respect, but is still a prisoner. She cannot go where she pleases.
But I have discovered in myself a strength of character I did not know I possessed. You might think I would be bewitched by her charms – she is charming, it is true – something seductive in the graceful way she extends an arm… the gentle threading of the veins on the inside of her elbow…
Beat. He clears his throat.
But I am not charmed at all. I am strong, and determined, and for once, I must confess, I feel truly a man. I have found myself!
Enter MAR
Y 1.
MARY 1. My dear Shrewsbury, it is glorious to be outside – I cannot thank you enough for this.
GEORGE. Your health is everything to me, Your Grace.
MARY 1. What a real man you are! Your wife is a lucky woman.
GEORGE. I am so pleased that the two of you are enjoying your time together. It must be very difficult.
MARY 1. I learned my courage in France and carved my strength in the Scottish mountains.
GEORGE. It is remarkable, what you have suffered.
MARY 1. I do not care for my own griefs, but only for those around me who suffer for my sake.
She winces suddenly.
GEORGE. You have pain?
MARY 1. A little, in my side. An old enemy lies there and makes me weak.
She leans on him.
You are so good to me. A ride in the fresh open air is all I need.
They link arms.
GEORGE. You see?
Not. A bit. Charmed.
He thinks for a moment.
Then they exit.
Scene Eight
BESS 2 speaks to the audience.
BESS 1 is waiting impatiently for something.
BESS 2. Before she came, I never stopped to wonder who I was. I have barely looked in the mirror since I was a girl. I always thought: there is nothing that cannot be solved with expensive clothes and a stern look. I have been the most powerful person in the room for so long, I fell into the trap of thinking power belonged to me no matter where I went. But how can you lead a household when there is a queen in it?
So I looked today. At my face. And then I understood why George looks at Mary in that way. Nobody would choose exhaustion over light.
Enter a SERVANT, at a run.
BESS 1. What happened?
SERVANT. She ran off!
BESS 1. What? Where?
SERVANT. Her horse just went galloping across the field. The Earl has gone after her.
BESS 1. He must bring her back!
SERVANT. He is, madam. Look – here he comes.
Enter GEORGE, out of breath.
BESS 1. George – where did she go?
GEORGE. She’s quite a horsewoman!
BESS 1. Yes, yes, I know that – where is she? Has she escaped?
GEORGE. No – no –
BESS 1. Where is she?
GEORGE. By heaven, don’t shriek, Bess! She galloped for a bit –
BESS 1. Why didn’t you stay with her?
GEORGE. She – well – she took me by surprise – and her horse was – I don’t know really –
BESS 1. Are you trying to tell me that she rides faster than four men?
GEORGE. Well – I suppose so –
BESS 1. That’s it. She is not to ride again.
Enter MARY 1 and LIVINGSTON. They are laughing and exhilarated by their ride.
MARY 1. We overtook you, my lord!
GEORGE. I must say – you did –
BESS 1. Your Grace. This cannot happen.
MARY 1. Oh, but it was just fun, wasn’t it?
BESS 1. No. You could have…
Beat.
MARY 1. I could have what?
Beat.
Did you think I would escape?
Beat.
BESS 1. Your Grace. I am very sorry to report that we have received instructions just now from Lord Walsingham that you are not to ride out again. He fears for the safety of your person.
MARY 1. But I need it. I need the air –
BESS 1. Nevertheless, I regret to say that you must stay indoors for the time being. I will see that alternative occupations are arranged for you to fill the time agreeably.
Please excuse me.
BESS 1 and the SERVANT exit, leaving GEORGE and MARY 1 alone.
MARY 1. You were a long way behind. I could have escaped. But I did not.
GEORGE. I know.
MARY 1. It was intoxicating – did you feel it too? The thunder of the hooves and the beating of my heart. And now I have made your dear wife angry.
GEORGE. Oh – no – she’s not –
MARY 1. She’s not like us, is she? We both have impetuous, perhaps foolish natures, you and I. She is altogether more sensible. I like her very much. In other circumstances, I believe we would all have been friends, don’t you think?
GEORGE. Yes – of course, Your Grace –
MARY 1. But I am not myself. I apologise.
I apologise to you both.
She bows her head.
He cannot bear her unhappiness.
GEORGE. I wish there was something I could do to make your life more pleasant here.
MARY 1. You already do so much.
GEORGE. At the very least, madam, let me assure you of my implicit trust in your good faith. There shall be no watching you under my roof – you are our guest. My guest.
MARY 1. Thank you, my lord.
They exit together.
End of Act One.
ACT TWO
Scene One
BESS 1, MARY 1, SEATON, LIVINGSTON, and CECILY are all seated, sewing.
ROSE 1 stands nearby, ready for instructions. ROSE 2 speaks to the audience.
ROSE 2. So it’s decided that the Queen is gonna have to stay indoors, and everyone pretends it’ll be fine. Personally, if someone kept me a prisoner against my will in a ruddy great castle, stuck in a room with sewers running past the windows, but didn’t actually lock the doors, after ten days of castrating boredom, I reckon I’d start to consider me options.
For example, opening the door, walking out, stabbing a few guards in the face and making a run for it.
Amazingly, she just sits down, and sews.
Silence amongst the women for a while. They sew.
MARY 1. The weather continues mild for the time of year.
BESS 1. Indeed, though Tutbury is plagued by mud from the rain.
Pause.
MARY 1. Did you have much snow this winter?
BESS 1. Thankfully not.
ROSE 2. And this sort of scintillating conversation continues all day long.
Enter ELIZABETH, WALSINGHAM and JOHN LESLEY. They move through the room, unseen by MARY, BESS and the other women.
ELIZABETH. So now she has to be kept indoors?
WALSINGHAM. It is for the best, madam.
ELIZABETH. What does she do all day?
LESLEY. She speaks of her love for you –
ELIZABETH. No, no, what does she actually do?
LESLEY. Um. She sews, madam.
ELIZABETH. Sews?
LESLEY. The practice of embroidery, wherein you take a needle / and –
ELIZABETH. Don’t be an idiot, sir – why? Why does she sew?
LESLEY. She is a passionate embroiderer, Your Grace. She takes great delight in commissioning designs from artists –
ELIZABETH. Designs for what?
LESLEY. Flora and fauna, mostly. For example she stitched a dolphin, using a picture from a book that she had brought with her called Icones Animalium –
ELIZABETH. Describe it to me, this dolphin.
LESLEY. I have the picture.
LESLEY gives the picture to ELIZABETH.
MARY 1. My dear Bess, look at this. (Shows BESS 1 her embroidery.) Do you like it?
BESS 1. It is charming.
What do you think, Rose?
She hands the embroidery to ROSE 1.
ROSE 2. A giant fish, brighter than the sky, with its fin sleek and gleaming, flying through warm seas –
ROSE 1. It’s like it’s there, in front of you.
BESS 1 (pleasantly). Rose is an artist.
Beat. ROSE 1 is astonished.
Show the Queen your hands.
ROSE 1, still baffled, goes to MARY 1, who takes her hands. MARY 1. Yes, yes indeed, beautiful, graceful hands.
BESS 1. Light fingers.
CECILY stifles a giggle. ROSE 1 wonders if she is about to be stitched up.
She is new to us, and shy, but you will find her useful, I think.
&n
bsp; MARY 1. What can you draw, Rose?
Beat.
BESS 1 (gently). Speak.
ROSE 1. I don’t think I –
BESS 1. Draw Zenobia.
I think you have it in you.
She hands ROSE 1 a parchment and quill.
ROSE 1, with much hesitation, starts to draw.
ROSE 2. I never held a quill in my life. But I’ve just learnt that I have graceful hands! And suddenly it seems the most important thing in the world that I draw that woman with the spear.
ELIZABETH. Dolphins are strange creatures. Are they not, Walsingham?
WALSINGHAM. I found them to be the most charming beasts of the sea, when I saw them off the coast of Portugal.
ELIZABETH. How I would love to see them flying through the air like that! What do you think, my Lord Bishop?
LESLEY. Your Majesty, to a man of God such as I, art is falsehood. It conceals the true nature of a man in a way that surely God did not intend. But, created by a captive queen, in lonely confinement, it has a purity attached that moves the spirit / to pity –
ELIZABETH (a dismissal). Thank you.
LESLEY bows and exits.
ROSE 1 is still drawing, rapidly now.
ROSE 2. My hand is flying across the page, wild and fierce, finding the artist in me. And when I’ve finished –
ROSE 1 stares at her handiwork in dismay.
It’s terrible. A scrawling, ridiculous mess.
ROSE 1 looks around the room. She panics. Screws the parchment up.
ROSE 1. ’Scuse me.
She rushes out. BESS 1 is unruffled.
BESS 1. She’s temperamental.
ELIZABETH. Walsingham, I don’t like her being cooped up inside. Surely it’s enough to send anyone a bit…
I mean, she’s just sewing all day…
WALSINGHAM. I think it’s excellent, Your Majesty. She is a dangerous woman, but even I cannot think of any threats arising from embroidery.
Exit all except MARY 1 and LIVINGSTON.
Scene Two
MARY 1 sits motionless, the embroidery untouched in her lap. LIVINGSTON is with her.
Enter MARY 2. She speaks to the audience.
MARY 2. I become used to the cold walls around me. To the feeling of stasis, the certainty that we will be here in this mouldy place for ever.
I write to the Spanish Ambassador several times, asking for aid. I write to my brother, desperate for news of my baby son and my kingdom. I do not receive any replies.
The Glove Thief Page 4
