Voices. Noises. Bad deeds that I have witnessed.
I am the History, and it is too much.
I am having dinner, with my friends – suddenly men burst in, with guns and swords and shouting – my husband is one of them – Darnley – he is huge – he is –
Terrifying.
Oh God – I am pregnant with my son.
Darnley says – ‘Mary, step to the side’ – ‘I will not!’ – ‘Madam, step to the side’ – ‘How dare you approach your queen, sir, have you forgot yourself?’
I must be strong – they have to think me unafraid – but the child! The child! And suddenly there’s an explosion – Darnley is flung onto the floor – his body broken.
And I am being carried through the streets and the people are there – waving at first, but then waves turn to fists, and shouts and jeers – they wish I was dead. My people! They wish me dead!
MARY 1 cries out.
MARY 1. I did not do it! I did not do it!
SEATON rushes in.
SEATON. What is it, Your Grace, what happened?
MARY 1. I saw it all again – I saw him –
SEATON. It was just a dream –
MARY 1. Blood everywhere…
SEATON (soothing). Shhhhhh.
MARY 1. My son, where is my son – ?
SEATON. He is safe, Your Grace, he is safe in Scotland –
MARY 1. I can’t breathe here.
SEATON. I know.
MARY 1. These new rules. I’m not allowed out of doors, no letters, no visits, I shall die.
SEATON. No, no –
MARY. I wish to leave.
SEATON. But we can’t –
MARY 1. I must. We have to find a way. We have to escape.
SEATON. Your Grace –
MARY 1. I mean it. We will escape.
SEATON helps MARY 1 offstage.
MARY 2 follows.
End of Act Two.
Interval.
ACT THREE
Scene One
SEATON and LIVINGSTON are sewing.
SEATON is quiet, patient, stoical.
LIVINGSTON is bored. She yawns, stretches her legs.
SEATON. Sit still.
LIVINGSTON. It’s endlessly boring.
SEATON. We are not here to judge, but to serve.
LIVINGSTON (re: the audience). Can’t we chat to them? Tell them our point of view.
SEATON. We do not have a point of view, we are ladies-in-waiting.
LIVINGSTON (disguising it under a cough). Chicken.
SEATON. I beg your pardon?
LIVINGSTON. It’s alright, everyone knows you’re not very good at public speaking.
SEATON. Just because I don’t throw myself at people –
LIVINGSTON. Throw myself – ?
SEATON. And be all, ‘look at my lady skills’ –
LIVINGSTON. What? I don’t –
SEATON. ‘I’m such a good dancer, and such a super horse-rider’ –
LIVINGSTON. I never say that! Anyway, you’re very good at hair.
SEATON. I don’t want to be good at hair. I want something else.
LIVINGSTON. Like what?
SEATON. Public speaking.
Beat.
LIVINGSTON. Fine.
SEATON. Fine.
LIVINGSTON. Fine.
SEATON. Fine!
They turn to the audience.
LIVINGSTON. We’re going to give you our point of view now.
SEATON. Together.
LIVINGSTON. After a difficult night, during which Her Grace suffered a terrible nightmare –
SEATON. She woke a little / calmer –
LIVINGSTON. She was pleased when Lady Shrewsbury sent one of her ladies to join us –
SEATON. She’s called Rose, but she is not at all like a flower –
LIVINGSTON. Because she was reputed to be a fine artist.
SEATON. ‘Just what we need,’ her Grace said, ‘to start on some new designs for our embroidery.’
LIVINGSTON. I was not convinced she’d be any good – but low and behold –
SEATON. She actually was!
LIVINGSTON. She started with an apple tree, every aspect of it from the roots underground to the branches poking at the sky –
SEATON. Bursting with fruit and life and the wonder of nature –
LIVINGSTON. As if she’d spent all her days in the open air!
SEATON. Lady Shrewsbury seemed relieved. What possible subversion could there be in an apple tree?
LIVINGSTON (getting carried away). All ripe and lusty and sap-juicy and ready to fall into sin –
SEATON. Stop it.
LIVINGSTON. Sorry.
SEATON. Of course it was only later that we discovered our clever mistress had stitched a secret message in the border –
TOGETHER. Pulchriori detur!
SEATON. Totally brilliant!
They look at the audience expectantly. The audience looks rather blank.
‘Pulchriori detur’? ‘Let it be given to the fairer’?
(To LIVINGSTON.) I don’t think they get it.
LIVINGSTON. She’s prettier than Queen Elizabeth, obviously. She should have – (Mouthing the words ‘the crown’.)
She mimes vigorously putting a crown on her head. SEATON nudges and shushes her with a nervous laugh.
SEATON. It’s extremely clever.
LIVINGSTON. And no one even noticed!
SEATON. So then, because she got away with that, we suddenly realised: we can say things.
LIVINGSTON. Things we are not allowed to put into words.
SEATON. We can sew them. So we tell the strange artist girl to draw the outlines for us, so that we can stitch them. And she does, without saying a word.
LIVINGSTON. A spider, to show the webs we were stuck in. A phoenix, rising up from death.
SEATON. A crocodile, to show that we were ready to slide out of the water and snap our jaws.
LIVINGSTON. And it was like we were bursting out of chains. The boredom, the humiliation, the desperation of our imprisonment. The long hours of silence and waiting, desperate for news but unable to ask for or receive it.
They stand close together.
SEATON. The endless wish that we had the power of a man to make our case, to be heard, because instead we have –
LIVINGSTON. Only us. Just us for so long.
They are holding hands.
SEATON. And we have our love –
LIVINGSTON. For each other –
SEATON. But it has been very sorely tried.
LIVINGSTON. So now we found relief.
SEATON. We told the world who we were, for the first time.
LIVINGSTON. And we were beasts.
Scene Two
MARY 1, SEATON and LIVINGSTON sew. ROSE 1 is drawing. ROSE 2 talks to the audience.
ROSE 2. I draw all day long, and at night I tell her what they’ve said.
ROSE 1 speaks to BESS 1, unseen by the others.
ROSE 1. The two women –
BESS 1. Mary Seaton and Mary Livingston –
ROSE 1. Yeah. They don’t really get on. I mean – they do. But they find each other annoying.
SEATON (pointing to LIVINGSTON’s embroidery). There’s no such thing as a pink daffodil.
LIVINGSTON. How do you know? Have you visited every single country in the world?
ROSE 1. And the Queen just talks about the future and Queen Elizabeth. Says she loves her cousin, all that sort of stuff.
BESS 1. Nothing else?
ROSE 1. I don’t think they trust me.
BESS 1. Try again tomorrow.
The next day – BESS 1 and ROSE 1 as before.
ROSE 2. But the next day, it’s much the same.
BESS 1. What did she speak of today?
ROSE 1. Her life before. Her husband, Lord Darnley, how he caused her no end of trouble. Always wanting more money, more power.
BESS 1. Did she confess to being involved in his murder?
ROSE 1.
No, she seems genuinely shocked by it. Apart from that, we just talked about the sewing. I’m sorry.
Beat.
Maybe she really isn’t up to anything.
BESS 1. Try again tomorrow.
The next day. As before.
ROSE 2. And then the next day, we’re all busy bees sewing and drawing very quiet, when this happens:
BESS 1 is suddenly in the room, with an unaccustomed energy and a quiet fury.
BESS 1. Excuse me, Your Grace, I must speak with Rose as a matter of urgency.
ROSE 1 rises and walks towards BESS 1.
ROSE 2. I go with her, just outside the door.
BESS 1 and ROSE 1 go to a side of the stage, while the others sit in silence.
BESS 1. I want you to give it back.
ROSE 1. What?
BESS 1. Do not speak to me in that insolent way – my ring.
ROSE 1. What ring, my lady?
BESS 1. The ring on the table in the accounts room.
ROSE 1. I haven’t got it.
BESS 1. You are the only one that has ever seen it.
ROSE 1. I didn’t even notice a ring –
BESS 1. Don’t be ridiculous, it was right there on the table. You thought you’d go back to your usual tricks, I suppose, set yourself up for life?
ROSE 1. I didn’t –
BESS 1. A glove is one thing. But a ring.
ROSE 1. I made you a promise / that I –
BESS 1. What good is the promise of a thief?
ROSE 1. God! You lot are all the same.
BESS 1 slaps ROSE 1. A single, stinging blow. The LADIES listening are aghast.
BESS 1. I want you gone from here by nightfall.
BESS 1 exits.
Pause.
ROSE 1 is crying. Angry and confused and deeply hurt.
ROSE 2. Now, ladies and gents, I’ve been hit quite a lot of times in my life. Me old ma, of course. The landlord of The Dog and Partridge, when he caught me pilfering a loaf of bread from the kitchen. Me ma’s New Man, who once got drunk and forgot who I was.
And generally I lived a hungry, cold, and pointless existence until I got picked up by a lady and taken to a castle where I discovered I could draw. And I’d begun to soften, gone off my guard, I’d begun to think I was safe.
So this was the worst. And even now I relive it, again and again.
BESS 1 slaps ROSE 1.
BESS 1. I want you gone from here by nightfall.
BESS 1 slaps ROSE 1.
I want you gone from here by nightfall.
ROSE 2. It was the worst of them all. It’s important you understand that.
MARY 1. I would not treat my dog in such a way.
MARY 1, SEATON and LIVINGSTON come to ROSE 1 and fold her in their arms. They sit her down.
SEATON. Poor thing.
LIVINGSTON. Have some wine.
MARY 1. I will not let her throw you out like a chicken carcass. Why does she behave like this?
ROSE 1. Because she’s never known what it’s like to be hungry more than a day in her whole life put together.
MARY 1. My child, look at me. Did you steal the ring?
ROSE 1. I swear on my life I never even saw it.
MARY 1. Well then, I will take you in. We need your beautiful pictures, I will say that you cannot leave the castle.
ROSE 1. But what if she insists?
MARY 1. If your queen were to die tomorrow then I am the new one. Nobody dares to cross me, just in case.
ROSE 2. So I joined the prisoners upstairs and became one of them, and now, I painted fury onto the canvas.
Scene Three
Whitehall.
ELIZABETH is there, with a few WAITING LADIES.
Enter a WAITING LADY with THOMAS. He bows nervously.
THOMAS. Your Majesty. You sent for me.
ELIZABETH. Three days ago.
THOMAS. I was not well – forgive me.
ELIZABETH. What sort of ‘not well’?
THOMAS. An ache in the head, Your Grace.
ELIZABETH. Lady Parry has a migraine at least once a month, but she still attends the Court.
THOMAS. Unfortunately –
ELIZABETH. Tell me about the Queen of Scots.
THOMAS. What… er.… would you wish me to say, Your Grace?
ELIZABETH. Did she, or did she not, kill her husband? Is she busy plotting to overthrow me, as we speak?
THOMAS hesitates. She switches suddenly from brusque to charming.
My lord, your confidential advice will be most welcome to me in these difficult times. You see how I am surrounded by idiots here. A man such as yourself can advise me as to how things really are.
THOMAS (thrilled). I mean, I can’t believe she really is the type.
ELIZABETH. That’s what I said!
THOMAS. A member of your own dear family –
ELIZABETH. Which is yours, of course.
THOMAS. Well, yes, on my mother’s side.
Beat. THOMAS summons up the courage.
Your Majesty, this feels like a good time to mention something to you –
ELIZABETH. I cannot allow a marriage between you and the Queen of Scots, you know that?
Beat.
THOMAS. I would never dream of such a thing.
ELIZABETH. It must have crossed your mind? A highly desirable bachelor such as yourself?
THOMAS. Your Majesty, I do not like her. The thought of sharing a pillow with a woman suspected of murdering her husband is not appealing.
ELIZABETH. True.
THOMAS. And in any case, madam, consider this: I am richer than Scotland already! I have no need of more lands. Why, I feel king enough standing on my tennis court in Norfolk.
ELIZABETH. What’s she like?
THOMAS. Mary?
ELIZABETH. As attractive as they say she is?
THOMAS (grandly). Your Majesty, when one has stood before the face of the sun, a planet pales into shadow.
Beat.
It was a – metaphor… The sun is you – and –
ELIZABETH. Yes, yes, thank you. What do we think of planets, these days?
THOMAS. Um… a little bit… dowdy?
ELIZABETH. Dowdy? Yes… I like it…
THOMAS. Like an orange that has gone a bit wrinkly in the sun, and there’s a green sort of fuzz around it, and when you taste it, just to see what it’s like, you wish you hadn’t.
ELIZABETH. Norfolk, you amuse me today! Whoever tried to taste a rotten orange?
THOMAS. No idea! Certainly not me yesterday at dinner.
She laughs, the WAITING LADIES laugh, they all laugh. And then she is serious.
ELIZABETH. I thought you had not met her.
Beat.
THOMAS. Well… No –
ELIZABETH. Then how can you know about her looks? How can you know that you do not like her?
THOMAS. I was – just –
ELIZABETH. Flattering me? Trying to say the words you thought I wanted to hear?
Do you think me a fool, sir?
THOMAS. No – not at all – your / maj–
ELIZABETH. Am I here to be lied to? Or am I your sovereign?
THOMAS. I – I –
ELIZABETH. Do you plot, sir? Do you make treasonous plans in the dead of night –
THOMAS. No! Your Majesty, I would never –
ELIZABETH. You laugh and joke as though you think you are my favourite – I tell you, if I had one it would not be you, sir. I had rather listen to the Earl of Oxford farting than your tedious gallantry.
The WAITING LADIES giggle. THOMAS is humiliated and outraged.
THOMAS. But – Your Majesty –
ELIZABETH. That will be all, my lord!
THOMAS hastily exits.
ELIZABETH and her WAITING LADIES exit separately.
Scene Four
Back in Tutbury. ROSE 1 draws, while MARY 1, SEATON and LIVINGSTON sew.
MARY 2. Of course, I know that the artist girl has been sent to spy on me. Strange, quiet little th
ing, but my goodness, can she draw.
If slapping her was a deliberate ploy to help her gain my trust, it has backfired spectacularly. She is now completely loyal to me.
I watch her drawing with my women, who, it must be said, are starting to seem slightly deranged.
ROSE 1. What about a monkfish – an actual monk, with fins for arms and legs?
LIVINGSTON. Or – a five-legged monster like a rhinoceros lumbering through a jungle.
SEATON. Or – a beast with a tail like a squirrel, the body of a tiger, and the face of a goat, stalking the forest with babies curled up on her back.
LIVINGSTON. Brilliant.
MARY 2. And my plan begins to form. I can no longer send a letter. But that does not mean I have to stay silent.
MARY 1. Rose, would you draw something for me?
ROSE 1 picks up her quill.
ROSE 1. Yes, Your Grace.
MARY 1. A beautiful orchard in sunlight.
ROSE 1 starts sketching.
Apple trees and vine branches. A blue sky and fluffy clouds.
And plunging out of the sky: a giant arm, holding a huge fork, ready to strike at the orchard.
MARY 1 looks at ROSE 1’s drawing.
Add embroidery onto the sleeve of the arm. Like this – (Shows her own sleeve.)
And a banner across the front, where I can put a motto.
Lovely.
MARY 1 starts sewing over ROSE 1’s outline.
MARY 2. I sew non-stop from dawn till dusk. I am happy to have a plan at last. It takes a few days, but when it’s finished:
MARY 1 shows her embroidery to the others.
ROSE 1 likes it. SEATON and LIVINGSTON are visibly shocked.
SEATON (to the audience). We know what it is, of course.
LIVINGSTON. And there’s a sort of glory to it.
SEATON. But all the same – it’s a bit frightening –
LIVINGSTON. Your Grace. Who are you sending that to?
MARY 1. The Duke of Norfolk, of course. He and I are great friends.
LIVINGSTON. But – are you –
SEATON. Accepting his proposal?
LIVINGSTON. Because if so –
SEATON. It’s – maybe – a little bit dangerous?
MARY 1. No! It is just a cushion cover, about grief, and loss. The hand represents the way that God strikes at those he loves, even the innocent apple tree in the orchard. I have lost so much, you see, Rose. In any case, I have no means of delivering it.
MARY 2. And then I sit, very sad and still, and let my lies do their work.
The Glove Thief Page 6
