I nod, and my father waves me off.
“Do you have any idea what he’s going to do to you? To your brother? Even I can’t help you now,” I growl at Sasha.
She tosses back the rest of her wine and puts the glass on the table.
“You were never going to help me, Finn. You don’t give a shit about me or my brother. I’m just another woman for you to use in your quest to either please or piss off Daddy.”
That’s not true. I do care about her. But I’m completely blinded by rage at her flippant comment. And after that display, my plan to turn the staff against the union by making them believe Sasha had been corrupted is completely derailed too. I finish my whisky before dragging Sasha back through the casino. I take her down to the security office, push out the staff member inside, and lock the door behind us.
“Maybe I don’t give a shit about you,” I snarl, cornering her. “And why should I? But at least I was willing to give you something in return for your help. My father is going to crush you, Sasha.”
“I’m not scared of your father,” she stammers. “Not like you are.”
I push her against the desk, trapping her between it and my body.
“I’m not afraid of anything,” I growl, my lips against her neck. “But I think you are. I think there’s a lot you’re afraid of.” My hand skims up her thigh, moving up her skirt, just an inch.
She puts her small hands on my chest. It’s an absolute turn-on, and I shove my hands under her legs, sitting her on the desk. She’s shivering, whether from fear or desire I can’t tell. Maybe it’s a combination. I kiss her neck and work my way down her cleavage while I skim my palms over her full breasts.
God I want her. The intensity of my desire sets off alarm bells in the back of my mind. I’ve wanted a lot of women, but not with the ferocity that I want Sasha.
But then she whimpers, and I know I’m not going to be able to interrogate that feeling any further tonight.
I continue my slow exploration, pressing my fingers into her waist. Her sweet lilac smell mixes with her arousal, and my cock hardens in response. I brought her into this room with the intention of getting her worked up and then leaving her to find her own way home, but I want to taste her. I need to taste her. How much of my anger is bluster, too?
I stroke her breasts again, pissed that I can’t feel her nipples through the stiff material of her bodice. I’d like to play with them, roll them in my fingers, get her dripping wet. Instead I hitch up her skirt further. Those pretty knees are pressed together.
“Are you wet?” I murmur, moving my hand under her skirt, touching where her thighs meet. “I bet you are, Sasha. I bet you want me, even though you know you shouldn’t. What do you want me to do to you?” I place my hands between her knees and gently pry them apart. She resists at first, but then lets me open her up. I’m keenly aware of the difference in our sizes, and I’m sure she is too. I inch my hand up her thigh, slowly, until I get near the top, and realize she’s wearing garters to hold up her stockings.
“Fuck.” I shove her skirt the rest of the way up, and press my mouth to the garter, licking and nipping her through the lace. My hand goes to her pussy. “You are wet,” I groan, stroking her through her panties. “So hot and so wet.”
I finger her through the lacy barrier of her panties for few minutes, working her up as I lick and kiss her inner thighs. Her legs are shaking, and she’s grasping the desk like a lifeline.
“Lift your hips,” I growl. She obeys, just how I want her to, and I slip her panties off. Black lace. I stuff them in my suit jacket pocket. Her legs have drifted shut, and I push them open again. I look at her face for just a moment. Her eyes are heavy with lust, her lips quivering. She wants it, but I’m going to make her say so. I trace the outer seam of her lips, and then part them gently. She shivers.
“You’ve got a beautiful cunt, Sasha.” I use the word I think will shock her the most. Her eyes widen. “Did you know that?” I stroke her there, over and over. She’s sopping wet now. “I’m going to eat you out.”
“Finn,” she whispers, her voice high and soft again. It makes my dick even harder. Fuck.
“What?” I drag my fingertip across her clit.
She lets out a sweet little gasp. I do it again.
“You’re too wet to pretend like you don’t want me,” I growl, crowding her space. “But I want you to tell me what you want me to do to you.” I lazily rub her clit as she fights for the right words.
“I don’t know,” she stammers. “I’ve never done any of this before.”
“So innocent,” I murmur in her ear, raking my teeth down the sensitive outer shell. “Given how you behaved out there, it’s hard to remember.”
She lets out a panicked little gasp, and it’s the sexiest sound I’ve ever heard.
“Do you want me to eat your cunt?” I ask. She jerks against me as I drag my finger up her slit. “Do you want me to put my tongue inside you, love?”
“Yes.”
It’s quiet, but laden with desire. I position myself in front of her open legs and press my face into her pussy.
I lick her and her legs start to close around my head. I hold her thighs open and feel the silk of her garters against my fingers. Has she always had these, or did she get them hoping I’d see them? I’m so hard it’s almost painful, but that can wait. I fuck her with my tongue, dragging it up and down her slit, thrusting in and out of her tight channel, and then tonguing her clit. Her whimpers increase in pace and frequency as I devour her. I suck her clit into my mouth and lash it with my tongue. She tastes so fucking good. I need more. I pull her hips so she’s tight against me, and her whimpers turn into little pants.
I find a pace that makes her pull my hair, and I stay there until she’s breathless. I feel the tension building in her, tighter and tighter. I don’t stop. Normally I’d switch things up, draw her out more, but she’s ready now. I drag my tongue over her sweet bud over and over and over and she comes hard against my face, screaming my name. I’ve never heard my name sound so good before.
Fuck.
I lick her through her orgasm, and she comes down, shivering around me.
I’m hard as a rock, and if I don’t get some relief soon it’s going to be bad.
“I want to fuck you with my cock.” I kiss her cheek, my face wet with her come. “But not here. You’re not going to lose your virginity on a desk. I’m taking you upstairs to the hotel. Okay?”
I don’t want everything in her life to be harsh and cheap. I’m angry at what she did, but I can’t blame her for doing it. And I want her first time to be memorable in a good way.
She nods. I help her down from the desk and she goes honest-to-god weak in the knees, and I pull her next to me to keep her from falling.
This night is turning out to be salvageable after all.
13
Sasha
What am I doing? Why am I letting Finn Carney take me up to a hotel room at his family’s casino? His father was so angry. I was terrified. That compressed, quiet anger is scarier than the predictable, explosive rage I’m used to. Still, when Finn dragged me into that security office, a secret part of me hoped this would happen.
If his family is going to destroy me, I might as well not die a virgin.
What a fucked-up thought from a fucked-up woman. But I want Finn anyway. And if my life is going to be full of pain, I deserve to get some pleasure, too.
And while I’m not foolish enough to underestimate his power, I think he’ll do this right.
He had me grab our coats while he picked up a key, and we’re in an elevator heading up to the top floor. I’m still woozy from what he did to me in the security office, and when the elevator bumps and I lose my balance, he snakes his arm around my waist, pulling me next to him.
He smells so good.
In the room, he doesn’t wait a second, pressing me against the door and kissing me.
My arms go around his broad shoulders, and I meet his kisses with equal fer
vor. I may not be experienced, but it feels good to have his body on mine. But when I feel his hardness against my belly, it scares me a little. I’d heard nightmare stories about painful first times with lots of blood, and I don’t want any part of that.
He lifts the back of my dress and palms my bare ass.
“Where did you get garters?” he drawls, squeezing me. His thigh is between my legs now, and I move against him, the delicious friction building inside me.
“I wanted to look nice tonight,” I whisper, gasping as he grinds his knee against my hot center.
“For me.” His voice is husky. It’s not a question but given what’s going to happen with his father, it can’t hurt to be honest, stroke his ego.
“Yes, for you.”
He slides the zipper of the dress down, and I step out of it. I feel overexposed in just my lacy bra, garters and stockings, but when I go to move my arms over my chest, he pushes them down.
He rakes his gaze over me, licking his lips as his hand wanders to my pussy, teasing me. I gasp his name and hold onto the lapels of his fancy suit jacket.
His other hand moves to the back of my bra and unclasps it. It falls to the ground. He takes a step back.
“Beautiful,” he murmurs before sucking a nipple into his mouth.
Oh my God.
It feels amazing. And why is it that hearing Finn call me beautiful makes me want to believe it? He’s not one for false flattery. That’s not how he gets what he wants. And for some reason, he wants me. Maybe just to piss off his father, but the desire is there regardless.
I gasp against his mouth. The tingling from his mouth on my nipple goes straight to my pussy, which he’s working with his fingers. He swirls his tongue around one nipple before moving to the next.
I moan, slipping my hands under his suit jacket.
He keeps stroking and sucking my nipples, which have tightened into hard peaks.
“Finn, please!” I beg.
I feel him smile at the desperation in my voice. How he uses his power to make me feel so much pleasure is an incredible turn-on.
He releases my swollen bud from his mouth and gently squeezes one, then the other as he stares at me wolfishly. “What is it? What do you want?”
All coherent thought is lost to me. I finger the buttons of his shirt, and finally manage to get one undone.
“I see,” he says, stroking the back of his knuckle over my breasts. “You’re going to have to get the rest.”
He lets me undo his shirt. I pull it out from his waistband. It takes longer than I want, my fingers shaking with desire, but when I have all the buttons undone, I slide off his jacket and pull at the tie until he leans down to kiss me.
“Careful,” he says, undoing the tie and sliding the silk over the damp, pebbled peaks of my breasts. “Or I’ll have to use this to tie you up.”
I shouldn’t find that as enticing as I do, given what I’ve been through, but the thought of associating something like that with pleasure instead of pain is more than appealing.
He smirks. “Or maybe you’d like that.”
I undo his belt and he steps out of his shoes, and once I get his pants off, he’s only in his boxers. I trace the tattoo that runs over his arm, shoulder, and chest before slowly dipping my hand lower.
I look up shyly at him. I’ve never touched a man like this before.
His eyes have an intensity that makes me feel that mix of incredible desire and fear. He takes my hand and uses it to stroke himself through his boxers, showing me what he likes. I imagine it wouldn’t feel good to touch him with a dry hand, but luckily I’m wet enough for both of us, and I stroke in between my legs before reaching into his boxers.
“Fuck,” he snarls, bucking against my hand. I move up and down his shaft in the twisting motion he showed me, running my thumb over the tip of his cock. It feels like steel encased in velvet.
“How is this going to fit inside me?” I muse out loud, stroking him faster. He grabs my hand.
Did I do something wrong? “I’m sorry,” I whisper.
“No.” His voice is even deeper than usual. “You’re perfect. But I need to fuck you. Now.”
Oh. Was he about to come? Could I have done that to a man like Finn with just my hand? The thought of it makes me a little delirious.
But I don’t have time to bask in it, as he’s picked me up and placed me on the bed. I notice he’s left my stockings on and feel pleased about my choices in lingerie for once. He fishes around his suit pocket and pulls out a condom, which he slides over his impressive length.
My question was a serious one. He’s very big.
He climbs over me and moves between my legs. He fingers my nipples a few more times before dipping his hand into my pussy.
“You feel incredible.” He leans down to kiss me, caressing my tongue with his. “We’re going to take it slow, Sasha. If it hurts, let me know.”
There’s a gentleness to his voice which surprises me.
“Okay.”
He plays with my pussy for a little while longer until I’m dizzy with my desire for him. He positions himself at my entrance and slowly slides the tip of his cock in. His eyes are closed, and I wrap my legs around him as he slowly, inch by delicious inch, moves all the way inside me. It hurts a little, but not in a bad way. Not like I’ve read about.
I whimper his name, stroking his back with the silk of my stockings as I move my legs tighter around him. He’s holding there, my pussy throbbing around him, and then he slowly eases out of me, though not all the way. He does this slow movement a few more times, and it seems like he’s about to snap with the effort of it.
“It’s okay, Finn,” I murmur, my hands gripping the hard muscle of his shoulders. “I’m ready. I want you to fuck me.”
His eyes flash open.
He presses his face into my neck, sucking and licking as he lifts my hips and begins to thrust into me. He builds his pace slowly, and by the time he’s thrusting hard and fast I’m screaming and clawing at his back. I hear myself beg him to make me come, and he curses as he changes the angle of his thrusting, hitting some spot inside me that takes my breath away. He repeats the motion over and over and I feel an orgasm building that’s even more powerful than the ones I had before.
My inner walls start to vibrate, and he senses I’m close to the edge, thrusting up and twisting his hips slightly while one finger dips between our bodies to stroke my clit. It’s too much. I scream out my orgasm, the intensity of it causing my body to jerk and spasm around his cock. He seems to like it, picks up his pace, and soon he’s growling against my shoulder, holding my hips tight against his, so deep inside me, coming in a series of powerful thrusts. He stays inside me for a few moments, his body covering mine.
When he does pull out, I miss the feeling of him. He goes to the bathroom to dispose of the condom, and I’m not sure what’s going to happen next. He comes back twenty minutes later, showered and wrapped in a robe.
He tips up my chin and kisses me, before running a hand down my breasts. “There’s another one in the bathroom.”
I want to cuddle up next to him, which is foolish, I know. It’s not like we’re lovers of any sort, but it was my first time.
I take a shower but keep my hair dry. When I’m done, I put on the robe and take my hair down. It’s all silky curls tonight, and I want to leave them in as long as they’ll stay.
Finn’s under the covers, his robe on a chair next to the bed. I wonder if I should join him. Is this part always so weird? I half expected him to be gone by the time I finished showering.
“Come here,” he says, moving the blanket aside. “Lose the robe.”
I do, and climb into bed next to him, and he tugs me close, playing with my hair.
“Did you enjoy it?” he asks.
“A lot,” I admit. “I didn’t know it could feel like that.”
He lets out a gruff laugh. “Good.”
I want to ask him the same, but I’m too embarrassed.
; I fall asleep in his arms.
14
Finn
I wake up to Sasha screaming, but not in the good way. She’s having some kind of nightmare, crying and thrashing. I shake her shoulders, trying to snap her out of it without doing more damage.
“Sasha,” I say, my voice calm. “Sasha, wake up.”
She’s disoriented and scared when she does wake up, the panic wild in her eyes. She curls in a ball away from me. I hate that she moved away and not closer.
She pushes out of bed and into the bathroom. I want to follow her, but that might scare her more, so I don’t.
My father gave her these nightmares. And I’m sure I’ve contributed to them now.
A few minutes later, she climbs back into bed.
I tentatively slide my arm around her shoulders.
“I have nightmares,” she says. “I’m sorry I woke you.”
My stomach churns with guilt.
“Don’t be sorry,” I say, squeezing her shoulder. “We both know why you have those nightmares. You’ve got nothing to be ashamed of.” Though I certainly do.
I pull her closer.
She’s quiet for a moment, and then turns so she’s tucked under my arm, looking up at me with those pretty eyes, her gorgeous curves pressed against me.
“I know it’s going to get worse for me, Finn.” There’s no pleading in her voice. No expectations on me.
She’s an incredible woman. If things were different…But they’re not. I stroke the soft skin of her shoulder.
“Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you’d been born into a different family?” she asks. “Don’t get me wrong, I love my brother.”
“I know you do.” She probably loves her piece of shit father, too.
“But I get tired of everything always being so damn hard.” She lets out a hollow laugh that feels like a punch to the gut. “Maybe soon I won’t have to worry about it.”
“I used to wish that a lot.” I have to move her away from the inevitability of what my father will do to her. “That I was born to another family. One that wasn’t so concerned with status and power.”
Rake: A Dark Boston Irish Mafia Romance (The Carneys Book 1) Page 12
