One Way or Another

by A. L. Brooks

  Bethany sat upright on the sofa, her skin flushing, and wondrous sensations pinpricking between her legs. That line of thought needed to be headed off right now; she couldn’t go into her date with Sarah with her underwear already wet.

  A glance at the clock on the small mantel told her she needed to leave in ten minutes anyway, so she distracted herself with teeth cleaning, hair brushing—again—and finding a suitable container and strong bag to carry the quiche in, along with the scones and jam she’d put together much earlier that morning.

  Sarah’s directions were crystal clear, and Bethany’s heart thumped beneath her ribs as she spotted her waiting at their allotted meeting place. As Bethany’s steps took her to within arm’s reach of Sarah, she hesitated, wondering if they should hug, or kiss on the cheek, or—

  Sarah smiled warmly and leaned forward to lightly kiss Bethany on the cheek, and Bethany closed her eyes against the tumult of sensation that simple touch bestowed.

  Good grief, get a hold of yourself.

  “You look great,” Bethany said, letting her gaze take in the wondrous sight of Sarah in casual clothes—cropped jeans hugged her legs from her hips to just below her knees, small tears and holes in the denim revealing tantalising glimpses of tanned flesh beneath. Her sleeveless top was white, emphasising her tanned arms, and it was scooped low in the neck, which drew Bethany’s gaze unerringly to the dip of cleavage it revealed.

  Bethany’s mouth went dry.

  “Thanks,” Sarah murmured. “So do you.”

  Bethany forced her gaze away from Sarah’s chest to find Sarah looking at her, her eyes slightly glazed, her tongue moistening her lips. They stared at each other for a moment before Sarah seemed to snap out of her daze, then bent to pick up the large basket at her feet, which she lifted effortlessly.

  “Shall we?” She gestured behind her.

  Bethany nodded and stepped alongside her. “Do you need me to carry anything?”

  Sarah turned to smile at her. “No, I’m good.” She walked on a few paces. “So, if you haven’t been here before, would you like the tour now or later?”

  Bethany looked at the large basket in Sarah’s arms, and down at the large bag she herself carried. “How about later? When we have less to carry?”

  Sarah’s smile lit up her face. “Yes, that sounds like a good idea. Thank you.”

  They walked in comfortable silence, past Stratford International station, catching glimpses of the stadium in the distance, then through the residential area of the park before crossing a road that led to a picnic area with public barbecue stations.

  “Here?” Bethany asked, looking around as they wandered through.

  “No, there’s much better spots along the river itself, if you don’t mind walking a little further?”

  Bethany smiled. “The river sounds lovely.”

  They followed a winding pathway past some small ponds surrounded by reeds and trees. “I had no idea this was here,” Bethany said, looking round in wonder.

  “I know, it’s marvellous what they did here. I come here a lot to just sit and watch the river.”

  After a few more minutes, Sarah led them across a bridge over the River Lea, and up a slight grassy incline. “Here, if that’s okay? It’s comfortable to sit on, and we can look over the water.”

  “It’s perfect,” Bethany said, gazing at the gorgeous view. On the path they’d just left, walkers and joggers passed by, families and couples strolling and chatting. But up here on the grass, there were only two other couples sharing the space, and she and Sarah spread their blankets out to make a very spacious and comfortable picnic area. They opened all of the food, laying it out smorgasbord style, and Bethany laughed at just how much Sarah had bought.

  “Were you hungry when you shopped?” she asked, chuckling.

  Sarah blushed. “I was, yes. And I had no idea what you liked, and didn’t want you to have too little to eat, so…”

  She looked very embarrassed, way more than the situation warranted, so Bethany decided to be bold and reached out to take Sarah’s hand. Sarah stared at her, wide-eyed, then down at their joined hands.

  “Thank you,” Bethany said softly. “That’s very sweet of you.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  They loaded up their plates—Sarah had brought two fancy plastic picnic plates and full cutlery for both of them—and sat back to munch. They ate in silence for a while, exchanging glances and small smiles, and murmurs of appreciation for the flavours on their plates.

  “I didn’t realise how hungry I was until I saw this all laid out,” Bethany managed to say around a mouthful of couscous salad.

  Sarah chuckled. “Me neither. This quiche is incredible! You can seriously cook, Bethany.”

  She flushed under the praise. “Aw, thanks. I’m so glad you like it.”

  Sarah took another mouthful and hummed, which made Bethany laugh, then pushed her plate away. “Okay, enough. For now. I’m sure I’ll want seconds later.” She stopped and stared at Bethany. “Sorry, perhaps that was a little presumptuous. I mean, I’m hoping we can spend all afternoon together but if—”

  “I’m sure we will,” Bethany interrupted gently. “But that might depend on what you have to say for yourself.” She smiled after she spoke, but Sarah still looked uncomfortable. “Sorry, I meant that to be cheeky, not as if I was delivering some kind of ultimatum.”

  “Actually, I think you have every right to deliver one. On both our dates I’ve been an absolute asshole. Again, I am so grateful that you’ve given me this chance.”

  “So,” Bethany said, placing her own plate to one side and leaning back on her elbows, bracing herself both physically and mentally for what was to come. “Are you ready to talk to me?”

  Sarah swallowed and nodded. She swivelled so she was fully facing Bethany, her back to the river. She blinked a couple of times, then inhaled deeply.

  “Okay.” She shook her head. “God, I am completely rubbish at this. Sorry.” After a couple more breaths, she tried again. “So, the thing is, up until now, I’ve never really been in a relationship.”

  What? How was that possible?

  Bethany’s confusion must have been clear on her face, since Sarah chuckled. “I said relationship. Trust me, I’ve been involved with many women.” She sighed. “I’m trying something new with you—getting to know you, seeing what we might be. It’s not my normal method of operation, and, as you have unfortunately seen, some of my habits from my former, um, lifestyle, have taken over. Especially on Saturday, after I’d told you all that stuff about my career and my father. I don’t normally open up like that.”

  “It scared you.” The realisation was so clear it almost made Bethany smile as so many things slotted into place.

  “Exactly.” Sarah looked away. “Somehow there is something different about me when I’m with you. And I like it, but it scares me.” She shrugged, her eyes meeting Bethany’s again. “I have no idea if I can do this, but I really want to try. I really like you, Bethany.” A blush coloured her cheeks, but she held Bethany’s gaze. “And I know I need to take things slow with you. That, you know, any physical intimacy needs to come a lot later.”

  Bethany startled. “What makes you say that?”

  “Um, well.” Sarah scratched absently at the back of her neck. “I guess I thought from our first meeting at the sex shop, and our first date, that you were a little…shy? Inexperienced, perhaps? Sorry, maybe that’s not fair to say.”

  Bethany shrugged. “No, it’s true. I am both of those things.” She squared her shoulders slightly. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t know what I want,” she said firmly.

  Sarah’s eyes went wide, and she cleared her throat again before saying, “You do? I mean, I suppose you must do. You were at that class on Thursday, after all.”

  “Um, well. Yes.” Bethany sat up then. “Thank you for
explaining. It does make a lot of sense now.” She smiled. “I suppose all I can say is, let’s see how we go, yes? And that it’s okay to tell me if something makes you nervous, preferably before you do something Neanderthal again.”

  Sarah laughed, her shoulders shaking. “Okay, that’s fair.”

  They spent another two hours on the blankets, eating and talking, sipping slowly at the chilled wine Sarah had packed in its own thermal sleeve inside the basket. Bethany feasted slowly, both on the wonderful spread they’d put together, and on the sight of Sarah lounging across the blanket in front of her. It was relaxed, and fun, and exactly what Bethany wanted. They talked about their favourite films, books, and food, and Bethany talked about her family, but Sarah was less than forthcoming on that aspect of her life, and Bethany didn’t want to push, especially after what Sarah had said about opening up. There’d be time for that. Hopefully.

  “God, take this quiche away from me,” Sarah groaned as she cut herself yet another sliver.

  Bethany chuckled. “I’m glad you like it so much.”

  “It’s amazing,” Sarah said around a mouthful.

  “I love baking. It totally relaxes me, and the finished product is always so yummy.”

  “You can bake for me any time.”

  They stared at each other, letting those words settle between them. Shy smiles split both their mouths, then Sarah brushed the crumbs off her hands, and slowly reached out a hand, wrapping it around Bethany’s.

  “This okay?” Sarah murmured.

  “Yes,” Bethany whispered, and squeezed Sarah’s hand gently.

  “Good,” Sarah replied, her voice soft on the breeze.

  They sat like that for some minutes, simply holding hands, looking down at the water, occasionally pointing out something of interest to each other but otherwise content to be quiet.

  It was good, and Bethany knew without a doubt that on this date they’d moved past the worst. She hoped Sarah would be able to shake off her fears, but at least Bethany knew about them now.

  Eventually, Sarah said, “I don’t know about you, but I’m really starting to feel that sun on my skin. How about we head to a coffee shop I know near here, and get some shade?”

  “Perfect.”

  They spent another hour in each other’s company before Sarah took them the long way back through the park to show Bethany all the legacy buildings left over from 2012. Sarah itched to hold Bethany’s hand the whole way but at the same time, didn’t trust herself not to overdo it, or do the wrong thing entirely, so instead she walked close and simply enjoyed being in Bethany’s presence. The afternoon had been so good, she didn’t want to risk anything spoiling it—for once, she wanted to walk away from a date with Bethany with a smile on her face.

  Their goodbye was said outside Stratford station, where they were headed for different Tube lines.

  “You know,” Sarah said quietly as they stood to one side, tucked around the corner from the station concourse, away from the crowds. “I had a wonderful day with you, Bethany.”

  Bethany smiled widely. “Me too.”

  Sarah mulled over what to do next. Would kissing Bethany goodbye be too much too soon? She sighed, and settled for asking, “Can we get together during the week?”

  “I’d like that. Shall I call you tomorrow, make some plans?”

  “Perfect.”

  They stared at each other. There was a lovely tension between them, one that Sarah was finding hard to resist. She was surprised, but in a good way, when Bethany suddenly stepped in to her space, tilted her head up, and dropped a soft, brief kiss on Sarah’s lips. Even though it was momentary, the touch was electric.

  “Bethany,” Sarah whispered, her eyes wide. Then she made to reach out, but stopped herself.

  “What?” Bethany asked softly.

  “This will sound odd, but I’m worried if I return that kiss I’ll take things too far. Get carried away and say or do something stupid.”

  Bethany smiled and shook her head.

  “I’m serious,” Sarah insisted. “I just…don’t want to rush it. You see”—she swallowed—“if I rush it, I’ll probably do to you what I did to all the others.”

  “Which is what?”

  Sarah sighed. “Never call you again,” she said, her voice only just above a whisper as the shame swept over her. Saying it like that, confessing it to someone as wonderful as Bethany, made Sarah feel like a total shit.

  “I see.” Bethany cleared her throat and stepped back a little. “Just how many other women have there been? Or don’t I want to know the answer to that?”

  “You probably don’t,” Sarah admitted.

  “Right.” There was a pause, and then Bethany tilted her head. “So, are you clean? Health-wise, I mean.”

  Sarah nearly choked. She was still getting used to Bethany’s penchant for asking direct questions.

  “Er, yes, yes I am. I am regularly tested, and I practice safe sex with all my partners.”

  “Good. Because if we are going to sleep together, you will be my first sexual partner in some time, and I really wouldn’t want any additional…souvenirs from the experience.”

  Sarah snorted before she could stop herself but just as she made to apologise, Bethany laughed, putting her at ease. “I definitely wouldn’t want to do that to you, Bethany.”

  “Thank you.” Bethany’s voice was quiet.

  Sarah’s curiosity got the better of her. “Can I ask, how long, exactly, has it been for you?”

  Bethany sighed. “I don’t want to admit it, but you have been honest with me, so… It’s nearly seven years.”

  Holy shit.

  “Oh.” Sarah stared at her.

  “Changed your mind?” The smile on Bethany’s face was teasing.

  “No! Not at all. I just…” Sarah laughed. “God, for the first time in ages I’m actually feeling nervous about sex.” And she was—talk about pressure to please. If Bethany had had no one touch her in seven years, Sarah would feel the need to make it extra special for her, to make up for all that lost time.

  “Why would you be nervous? I’m the one who hasn’t done it in ages. Mind you, like I told you already, I do know what I want. You don’t have to worry about me being completely clueless, you know.”

  Sarah’s eyes widened. “You astound me.”

  “Why?”

  “Because you’re so bold about this. You come across as shy in so many ways, and yet in others, you just throw it right out there. It’s kind of awesome and scary all at the same time.”

  Bethany huffed out an extended breath and shuffled her feet. “Sarah, the seven years of celibacy was right for me, and I don’t regret it. But now, I know I want something more, and I know that you are the first woman in a long time who has stirred those feelings in me. So I want to go for it. Trust me, I’m quaking inside at this entire conversation, but I won’t let that stop me.”

  “Wow.” Sarah didn’t know what else to say. Determined Bethany was damn sexy.

  “Now, back to the concept of not rushing,” Bethany said, her tone brisk and business like.

  “Yeah?”

  Bethany leaned in, the warmth of her tantalisingly close. “Don’t leave me waiting too long, Sarah.” Her voice was a little lower than normal, and definitely huskier.

  “Okay,” Sarah croaked out as all the blood in her body migrated towards her clit.

  Bethany kissed her once more, lingering a little longer this time, then stepped back.

  “I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

  “Uh-huh.” Sarah was left in a daze, but it was a really, really good place to be.

  Bethany flopped into a seat on the train, her heart racing and her hands trembling. It had been a wonderful afternoon, and finally getting to really know Sarah had settled her doubts about whether it was worth pursuing something with her or
not.

  But it was the last ten minutes that had particularly taken her breath away.

  Had she been body-snatched? Who had taken her over and allowed her to talk so freely to Sarah about s-e-x? Yes, Bethany did know what she wanted when it came to physical pleasure with another woman—she’d spent the last year or so carefully thinking that through, being honest with herself about where her desires lay. But to actually talk to Sarah about it, and—good Lord—tell her not to wait too long before taking Bethany to her bed?

  Bethany smiled, puffing out her cheeks with a big breath. Of course, if she was really feeling bold, she wouldn’t wait for Sarah to do the taking. After all, wasn’t that part of where her desires were driving her? Being the one to take charge—set the pace, have the control?

  She grinned. Sarah had seemed flabbergasted at this new side of her, and she had to admit, catching the cool and composed Sarah out like that had felt good.

  Bethany wondered how many other, far more interesting ways she could find to disassemble Sarah Connolly.

  Chapter 13

  “So, dear, tonight is the night, yes?” Evelyn’s tone was hard to read. “You are going on another date with Bethany.”

  “I am,” Sarah said, tucking her phone under her chin and reaching for the shirt she’d hung up earlier that evening when she’d been pondering just what to wear for her momentous date with Bethany.

  She had persuaded Bethany to let this be her treat—no splitting the bill tonight. Sarah wanted to spoil Bethany; make her feel special. Not to show off, or flash her cash—which it was obvious Sarah had much more of—but simply to treat her to things she probably didn’t get the chance to enjoy very often.

  If she wasn’t careful, she’d be late. However, when Evelyn called, Sarah always answered—she owed her aunt too much to let her go to voicemail. And, she had to be honest, there was always that tinge of fear when Evelyn called—would she hear her aunt crying for help after a fall, or a stroke, or something equally awful? Sarah knew it was irrational, especially with Jonathan in the house most of the day, but Sarah always did the ‘what if’ where her beloved aunt was concerned. What if, in the hour or so it took Jonathan to go to Tesco for the weekly groceries, or on one of his nights off, something happened? Not for the first time, Sarah wondered if she should have moved in with Evelyn when she’d offered a room all those years ago.