by T J Kelly
“Oberon signed a blood oath not to kill me. Not just in the ring, either, but forever.”
Armageddon let out a low whistle. “Well, the boy sure does know how to make a grand gesture. That’s not a bad deal, you know.”
“Yes, it is!” I shouted. I was so tired and angry. And hurt. I didn’t want to hear my uncle weigh out the pros and cons of my shattered love life. “It’s a terrible deal. I didn’t ask him to do that. He should have had more faith in me. He signed away his whole life, Uncle Ged, and he didn’t need to!”
My uncle wisely remained silent. He directed me to a set of stairs, and I stepped carefully down them. When we got to the bottom, I growled in frustration. “Uncle Ged, I love him. Okay? He smashed me to pieces out there. He took away the one really great thing that happened since my parents died. Everything else has been so hard. I’ve had to fight for every single thing. It was so good with him, so easy and perfect. And he threw it away! How am I supposed to feel about that?”
Armageddon ushered me through a door, and we were finally outside in the alley where our carriage was waiting for us.
He turned to me. “You’re right, he shouldn’t have done that, and I’m sorry for saying what I did. I was trying to look on the bright side, but obviously now isn’t the time for that.”
“I just can’t talk about it right now, Uncle Ged. I’m sorry.”
“No need to apologize. You’re doing fine. You’re going to make it through this like everything else you’ve had to face because you’re strong and wise and more resilient than anyone I’ve ever met.”
Armageddon rested his hand on my hair, and I could feel the warmth from his palm soothe my turbulent thoughts. It felt good to know somebody had faith in me.
“Come on,” he said. “Let me help you climb into the carriage. Your aunt and Peter are waiting, and they’ve spent the last hour bashing your boyfriend on your behalf. I’m sure you would be a welcome addition to their group.”
I laughed. Just like that, out of nowhere, I laughed. My uncle was fantastic.
“Thanks, Uncle Ged, but I’d rather just give them a hug and talk about it all later. Right now, all I want is to go to bed. The world is a little too much for me right now.”
Armageddon smiled at me, loving me, the niece who had done nothing but cause trouble and mayhem. I realized how much I owed him. I gave him another hug and then he held the carriage door open for me.
“Sweetheart! We’re so proud of you!” my aunt called from inside.
I entered the carriage and joined the rest of my family. “Thanks, Aunt Peony. I couldn’t have done any of this without you.”
Armageddon shut the door behind me. I felt the movement of the carriage as he climbed onto the bench next to the driver. The outriders were there, but he was going to ride outside to personally make sure we got home safely.
“You know, I just realized something,” Peter said. He watched us from the other bench seat with a quirky smile on his face. “This is the first time you’ve faced the Taines that the two of us didn’t end up in the infirmary for a week.”
I let out a weak laugh. “I guess we’ll have to try harder next time.”
Peter chuckled and leaned back into the seat. He was worried about me despite his joke. His concern poured off of him in waves, like a grim aura. It was sweet that he was trying to keep things light for my benefit in spite of his own feelings.
I leaned into my aunt. She put her arm around me, and I closed my eyes.
“You must be exhausted,” she said.
“I am. If it’s okay with you, I think I’d like to take a moment to gather myself together. It’s been a really long day.”
My aunt kissed my head. “Sure, sweetheart. Go ahead and relax. We’ll talk later.”
Those were the last words I heard before everything went dark. I was so tired, I even slept through the transfer.
THIRTY-TWO
Aftermath
Somebody had kindly transported me into my bedroom without waking me. I wasn’t sure what time it was when I awoke, but I could tell by the heaviness in my body that it was late in the day. I always felt groggy and slow when I slept too late.
Thanks to the medic, I wasn’t sore at all. I took a nice, long, hot bubble bath anyway. I refused to think at all as I sat in the tub. I kept my eyes closed and meditated, checking over my magic and the connection I so recently forged with it. In spite of how much I expended in the ring, it was there waiting for me, strong and sure and seemingly limitless. I finally had what I always wanted, powerful magic that enabled me to run Rector Enterprises and help others.
On the other hand, I lost what I had always wanted, too.
I shoved the thought of Chas out of my mind violently. I would not think about him. I would not think at all. I was just enjoying my bath. That was it.
When the water began to cool, I drained the tub, then turned the shower on and spent another half an hour washing my hair thoroughly. There was muck, blood, and crystal dust stuck in there. Not only that, but I wanted to wash away everything about the day before. Then I spent even more time drying my hair, brushing it until it was shiny and flowed down my back.
Finally leaving the bathroom, I dressed in my fuzziest pair of sweatpants and my softest, baggiest shirt. At the last moment, I pulled my hair into a haphazard bun to keep it out of the way and headed downstairs.
It was my lucky day. I was starving, and it was tea time.
“Hi there, sweetheart,” my aunt greeted me when I walked into the dining hall. She was eating alone.
“Hey, Aunt Peony. Sorry I slept so late.”
“No problem. We all knew you were exhausted.”
“Where is everyone?” I asked.
“They were wandering around aimlessly, waiting for you to get up so they could congratulate you. I sent them on some errands to get them out of my hair. I hope you don’t mind.”
“Actually, that sounds perfect. I want to talk to everyone, but I feel... I’m not sure how I feel.”
“Shell-shocked is the term that comes to mind,” Peony suggested with a smile.
“That sounds about right. I can’t believe I won. I’m so happy about that, but it’s also this huge responsibility. I still don’t know if I’m going to be any good at running the company. Then there were all those cameras in my face. I know they’ll be following me around for a while. And the gossip shows are going to talk and talk and talk.”
“See? Shell-shocked.” My aunt laughed as I shook my head. I guess it was funny if you had a terrible sense of humor. Then I laughed, too.
It felt good.
“What’s on the menu today?” I asked, walking over to the buffet table. Like always, there was a considerable amount of food, even though tea time was traditionally a light meal. I began to load my plate and grinned when I saw a giant pile of shortbread cookies. I couldn’t help myself. I popped one in my mouth before I even left the buffet.
“Cook has been baking herself silly. She’s included your favorite cookies with every meal so far, starting with breakfast. I think she’s trying to reward you.”
I laughed again. The people who worked for my aunt and uncle were so nice. I really was lucky. I went from having just my absentee parents in my life, to having a castle overflowing with people who were always there for me.
I concentrated on my food, trying to keep the darkness from creeping back over me. My magic, my perspective, everything about me - I couldn’t seem to be happy without also dragging along pain.
Peony must have noticed the change in my mood because she said, “Ged told us about Chas. We’re all so mad at him for what he did. For causing you so much pain right when you needed our support the most. I know it doesn’t excuse anything, but my heart feels better knowing he did it out of love for you.”
“Did he?” I asked. It burst out of me. I was furious with Chas for stealing my happiness without giving me a choice. “Is it love if you don’t allow the other person a chance to weigh in on it? How ca
n you love somebody if you don’t respect them enough to include them in the big decisions?”
“I don’t think he looks at it that way, Lia. He probably didn’t think he had a choice besides whether or not to save your life. You forget that he grew up Oberon’s son. He’s a good person in spite of it. He knows how Oberon is and what that man is capable of doing. Chas probably knows better than anyone else in the world what Oberon is willing to do to get his way. Chas barely survived leaving his family. If his father is willing to hurt him, imagine what Oberon is prepared to do to a girl from a rival family he hates.”
“I understand what you’re saying, Aunt Peony. I really do. But I can’t get over being so helpless. He knew I had no choice about what happened after my parents died, and how badly losing my company hurt me. And then he did it, too. I can’t bear the thought that the person I loved took it all away from me again.”
I pushed my plate aside. I had lost my appetite. My anger was an ugly feeling I couldn’t shake.
So I changed the subject. “Aunt, do you think I can still be a member of the Irregulars, even though I own Rector Enterprises?”
“Of course! Most of the Irregulars have outside jobs and interests. Look at Mort. He’s an attorney and runs his own law firm. They’re one of the largest firms on the West Coast, and their pro bono efforts are legendary. Besides, it’s in your best interests to align yourself with Ged, honey.”
I cocked my head to the side, studying Peony. We had talked about that before. “Because I’m powerful, right? The Council is run by a bunch of babies. I’m not going to do anything to them.”
Peony chuckled. “I know you won’t. But they want to keep control, and anyone who is stronger than them is a threat. Ged has spent decades working on the balance of power for them. By allowing them control over him and the Irregulars, they feel secure. At least, they think they have control. Otherwise, they wouldn’t have granted him permission to use lethal force. Ged would never use it if he could help it. You know him well enough to know that about him. However, their permission means they trust him as much as he can hope. That same assurance covers anyone in his group.”
I thought about how much work that must have been. Armageddon could teach me a lot. I was being forced into a world of politics and power years before my time, and I needed to learn how to play the game, too.
“I don’t want to kill anyone, Aunt,” I said, thinking about all those birds. “I can’t do it. I don’t even want to hurt anyone. But if it’s a part of the job, I’ll do at least that much. Of course, I want to stay in the Irregulars.”
“Oh, sweetheart, I know that. So does Ged. He can see your heart, Lia. He’s concerned by the darkness there, but only because of what it might do to you, not to others.”
I thought about that. Most magicians couldn’t see the amount of darkness inside of me - or any of the Rectors. That was how we kept our secret for so long. But Armageddon was something else. On a level nobody had ever reached before.
“It’s always been like that in my family, Aunt. You don’t need to worry about it. We’re made to live in a world full of gray. That doesn’t mean we can’t find happiness because we can. My parents certainly did. But being in near perfect balance is who we are. We just don’t like to spread that around.”
I didn’t fully explain our secret, but what I had just told my aunt would go no further than my uncle. Peony and Armageddon knew the value of discretion better than anyone else.
“We just want you to be happy and safe. As long as the Council is aware you’re under Ged’s leadership, you’ll be sheltered from them.”
I nodded as I absently picked at my food. My appetite was still gone, but my body was starting to feel weak and shaky. I needed to eat. “Now that the trials are over, what’s up next for my training?” I asked, changing the subject again. So many weighty topics, so little joy.
“You’ll continue with your book studies and combat training with Mort. Ged will also participate in some of those sessions. Meditation will be a bigger part of your day. You don’t want your power to overwhelm your good sense if you can help it.”
I snorted. I knew that power corrupted and I knew as a Rector that I had to fight against that especially hard. My parents had been pounding that into my head for as long as I could remember.
“I understand. Aunt Peony, do you think there will be time for me to work with you? I really do want to learn the things you know. Your ability to heal is legendary. The medic who helped me after the trials said he admires you very much.”
My aunt’s face flushed a delicate pink, touched by the compliment. “That’s so sweet. I haven’t had time to talk to Ged, but I will. We’ll add time in the infirmary to your schedule.”
“Thanks, Aunt.” I finished as much of my meal as I could and was ready to face the day. “Has Uncle Ged also left on errands or is he in the castle? I’d like to talk to him if he’s here.”
“He’s in his study. He returned home right before you came downstairs. I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you.”
My aunt and I cleared our dishes, and she walked out with me. Peony gave me a hug, whispering, “I’m so proud of you,” and then she headed into her workshop as I headed off to see my uncle.
◆◆◆
“Come in,” I heard my uncle call before I knocked. I entered his study. I could see his workshop through the open door across the way. It was larger than mine and filled with jumbled masses of tools and instruments, and heaps of herbs and crystals. The sun slipped through the curtains and seemed to move from place to place of its own accord.
“How are you feeling, my dear?”
“I’m okay,” I said. I was having a hard time pushing away my anger and hurt. There were so many other things I needed to think about, so I kept trying.
“Well, you performed phenomenally well in the ring yesterday. But you’re bound to need a day or two to recharge.”
“I feel fine, magically speaking. I’m still angry with Chas. It’s distracting me which only makes me madder because I feel like it’s a waste of time.”
Armageddon leaned back in his chair and pressed his fingers together as if he were praying. “Honey, I know you want to get past this, but it’ll take time. Nobody feels the way you do about another person and just walks away unscathed. I know you don’t want to hear it, but it’s going to take a lot of work. I’m sorry about what Chas did because it hurt you. But I’m also glad he took steps to protect you. It says a lot about him as a man that he was willing to give you up to keep you safe.”
I huffed. I didn’t want to talk about it. At the same time, I did want to talk about it, but if I started, I wouldn’t be able to stop and might even start crying all over my uncle’s desk.
So I changed the subject. “Well, the real reason why I’m here is I want to talk about you, Uncle Ged.”
Armageddon’s eyebrow shot up, his hands dropping into his lap as he sat up straight. “Oh? Is there something I can do for you?”
I smiled. “You already have. I just want to be sure that you understand how grateful I am for everything you’ve done for me. Everything you continue to do. I loved my parents, but we weren’t close. They were always on the road, but I think there was something about me they didn’t quite understand and it drove them away. You and Aunt Peony understand me and love me in a way I’ve never experienced before, and I want to thank you. I want to tell you that I love you, too.”
I was in tears by the end of my speech. I thought it over before I came into his study, knowing what I wanted to say but also knowing I might not get all the words out. I decided it was worth a try anyway. There were times I thought I was going to die in the ring. My uncle would never have known how I felt if I had. I didn’t want another day to go by without making sure everyone in my life knew how I felt about them.
I wasn’t going to hold back anymore.
Armageddon’s eyes glittered as he stood and walked around his desk so he could give me a bear hug. “We love you, too, sw
eetheart. Your parents loved you with love beyond measure. Never doubt that. Never forget that.”
“I won’t,” I said. My voice echoed a little against his chest. “I have to tell you something. I’ve been scared to say it, but I thought you should know.” I gulped and forced the words out. “I’m the one who killed my parents.”
“No, Lia, you didn’t.”
“Yes, I did!” I pushed away from him. “My parents were always trying to help me find my magic. They had another appointment with an expert the night they died. They wouldn’t have been driving if it wasn’t for me. It’s my fault!”
I burst into tears, finally letting my worst nightmare out into the open. If my uncle couldn’t handle it, then nobody could. And I needed to tell somebody.
“No, it isn’t your fault, Lia. Listen, I’ve done some investigation into the accident. I just received confirmation yesterday while we were out.”
“Confirmation?” My tears slowed.
Armageddon pulled a box of tissues from his desk and handed them to me. I sat back down as he returned to his side of the desk. He picked up a folder and opened it, rifling through several sheets of paper.
“I was going to tell you when things settled down, but I can see it won’t wait. You were supposed to be with them that night, were you not?”
“Yes, but at the last minute I asked to stay home.”
“My dear, that saved your life. This is going to be difficult to hear, but you need to know. Your parents didn’t die in an accident. They were murdered. You were a target along with your entire family. I haven’t been able to link it to the Taines officially, but there’s talk in the shadows that tie them to it. I’ll eventually find proof. When I do, whoever was responsible is going to pay. You can believe me when I say that.” There was a crack of thunder outside.
I remained silent as I tried to process. I had been carrying around so much guilt that it was a shock when it lifted. My parents died not because they were searching for a way to tap into my magic, but instead because they had enemies who wanted all of us dead. My guilt dissipated, replaced by a storm of other emotions.
