“We should get back,” she said.
Danielle seemed to snap back to reality just as quickly. “Right,” she said. “Work.”
Chapter Eighteen
Danielle knew it was before sunrise without looking at the time. A dream of Jenna had woken her, and the real situation with Jenna was now keeping her up. She couldn’t stop thinking about the bruise on Jenna’s face, picturing her mom hitting her, picturing it when Jenna was just a kid, imagining her hiding the abuse to stay close to her sister. And that stormy look in Jenna’s green eyes when the pain of those thoughts had blended with need, with want. She knew Jenna had been a breath away from kissing her. Just the memory of it had her stirring in bed. Dreams of Jenna’s breath over her skin were becoming a nightly problem.
Danielle thought she imagined the first knock on the front door. Her bedroom was in the back of the apartment where she rarely heard the door at all, but the house was silent in the early hours of the morning. It came again, a gentle tapping. Danielle got out of bed, some insane part of her expecting it to be Jenna. Maybe her mom was out of control again and she was taking Danielle up on that break from her crazy life.
Danielle passed Brianna’s room. The door was cracked open, and Brianna was splayed across the bed in her underwear, passed out after another night of drinking. Danielle pulled the door closed and went to the front. She checked the peephole, then yanked the door open.
“Li!”
A smile exploded across Li’s face. He stepped into a hug and squeezed her tight. Danielle pulled him inside. “God, it’s so good to see you,” she said. “Sit down. Tell me everything.”
Li stiffly removed his shoes and moved to the couch. “I can’t stay long,” he said. “I have class in an hour.”
“Okay.” Danielle sat next to him. “What brings you, then? Is Dad okay?”
“He’s okay,” Li said. “Unfortunately.”
“Oh, Li,” Danielle said. His face was full of stress again. She missed his youthful joy, the way he lit up so easily. “You don’t mean that.”
“I really do, Danielle. I thought I wanted him to be okay, but when he finally told me he was fine…” Li paused and took a breath. “I was disappointed. I didn’t even realize I had all these thoughts about me, you, and Mom together again until he said that, and then I realized I was hoping he really was sick.”
Danielle hugged him. “It’s okay,” she said. “You miss the way things used to be. That doesn’t mean you want him to be sick. It’s not the same.”
Li’s eyes watered, something she hadn’t seen since before he was a teenager. “You don’t understand,” he said. “He found out we’ve been talking.”
Danielle’s insides froze. “How?”
“He thought he had cancer. That’s why he was staying home. Turns out he doesn’t even have it. The tumor was benign, big baby. But he was getting his affairs in order. I don’t know what they told him, but they had him really spooked. He was snooping through everything in the house, looking at old stuff, going through pictures on the computer, and he found one of our email chains. I thought I was being so careful, but I guess I forgot to delete one.”
“What did he do?”
“He wouldn’t talk to me for a while. Eventually, he came in and told me I have to stop talking to you. He won’t pay for medical school if I don’t. Says he’ll disown me too. He says you’ll never go back to normal if I keep making you think it’s okay to be gay.”
“Go back to normal?” The familiar fury at the way her father talked about her flooded her body. “What the hell does he—”
“Forget it, Danielle,” Li said. “He’s a jackass. I’m going to tell him to disown me if he really wants to. I’m his only son. He won’t do it.”
Danielle’s muscles tensed, and she shook with anger. Her father had broken her heart when he cut her out of his life. He’d broken it tenfold when he’d taken her mother from her too. Li was the only one willing to disobey him, and now he wanted to take that from her too? Danielle examined Li’s face again. He’d been crying well before he’d made it to her apartment. A protectiveness of her little brother replaced her rage, and she grabbed his hand.
“Dad doesn’t make empty threats.”
“We’ll hide it again,” Li said. “Better.” But the words fell flat. Danielle knew he didn’t believe it any more than she did. He knew what she’d say, and she had to be the big sister and say it.
“If he finds out again he won’t forgive you.” The words were coming out of her mouth, though where she found the strength she wasn’t sure. “You can’t jeopardize medical school. It’s all you’ve ever wanted. Do what he says.”
“I can’t,” Li said. “It isn’t worth it. I’ll find another way.”
“You’ll never get financial aid. They have too much money.”
“I’ll…” He choked up before he could finish.
Danielle shook her head. “It’s okay, Li. I understand.”
Li put his head in his hands and pulled his hair. “I’m so ashamed.”
Danielle put her arms around him and pulled him into a hug, knowing it would be the last for a long time. He turned and hugged her back.
“The second I’m done with school we’ll go back to normal. There won’t be anything he can do to either of us then.”
“He could take your inheritance.”
“He can have it.”
“You better study hard,” Danielle said. “If you even think about being set back a year to party I’ll kill you.”
“I’ll study so much, Danielle. You’ll be proud.”
“I already am, Li.” Danielle didn’t realize she was crying too until she saw that her cheek left a wet mark on his shirt. She released him and stood up.
“I guess you better start now,” she said. “You’ll be late for class.”
Li pulled her into one more tight embrace before he finally headed for the door. He looked broken, but Danielle knew his future would be so much brighter this way. She couldn’t take his dream from him, no matter how much it would hurt both of them not to see each other.
“Danielle.” Li spun just outside the door. “Take this.” He pulled a ring from his pocket. “It’s Mom’s. She gave it to me, but it’s for you.”
“She said that?”
Li shook his head. “No, but you know how she is. She can’t. It was her mother’s, though, then hers. It’s meant to be yours. She gave it to me last night after Dad said I had to stop talking to you. I think she knew I would come to you. She knew I’d give it to you. I think it’s what she wanted.”
Danielle struggled not to let her emotions overcome her as she accepted the ring.
“I hope it makes you think of both of us if you’re ever feeling alone,” Li said. “A reminder we’re thinking of you too, and we love you.”
When Danielle closed and locked the door, she turned to find Brianna standing in the hallway, looking at her.
“You okay?”
“I think so,” she said. “I can do it for him.”
Chapter Nineteen
Danielle’s weekly training review was scheduled in ten minutes, and Jenna still wasn’t sure how she was going to reclaim the professionalism they’d agreed to stick to. Somehow the policy seemed a million miles away and more than a little irrelevant, though she knew that was just her mind playing tricks on her. She had to get a grip. Danielle said they shouldn’t cross the line. There was no reason for her to be struggling with a decision that was already made.
She fished for Danielle’s papers, along with Sasha’s training notes. Sasha still had nothing but good things to say, and Jenna knew at some point Paula would start asking questions about why she wasn’t putting Danielle in charge of the Clark case. The only way she could think to avoid the problem was to continue working very long hours and turning in immaculate work so Paula wouldn’t have a reason to want to lessen her workload.
Danielle tapped on the door as she was already entering. “Afternoon,” she said. Sh
e was in tighter jeans than usual that showed off the shape of her legs. Jenna realized she was staring and forced herself to look at Danielle’s smile instead.
“Afternoon,” Jenna said. “How was your day?”
“Sasha and I just did the rounds. Nothing crazy.” Danielle slipped into the chair across the desk. “I think I like these reviews at the end of the day. It’s nicer than doing them in the morning.”
“Coast out the end of the shift?” Jenna asked.
“Exactly. Plus, if you yell at me I can just go straight home and cry.”
Jenna laughed. “Please. Do I really seem like the yelling type?”
“No, but I’m sensitive,” Danielle teased her.
Jenna slid the training notes across the desk. “No secrets here,” she said. “All good.”
Danielle eyed Jenna suspiciously, then grabbed the notes and read through them. “Wow,” she said. “I didn’t realize Sasha thought I was doing such a good job. She never really says so.”
“She thinks you’re ready to be released on your own,” Jenna said. “What do you think?”
“I think I learn a lot more from you than Sasha.”
A tingle ran up Jenna’s spine. “That’s nice of you to say, but I’m not sure how many of my habits you really want to pick up.”
“I don’t think they would have promoted you if they didn’t like the way you work.”
“Thanks.” Jenna couldn’t seem to stop lingering on Danielle’s body, and wherever she shifted her attention it quickly felt inappropriate. Danielle’s black hair, her warm complexion, the way she held most people at a distance all made for a mysterious presence she wanted to be closer to. She wanted to be the one allowed under Danielle’s layers. “So, what do you think?” she asked. “You ready to do the job on your own?”
Danielle seemed to consider it for an eternity before she answered. “I think so.”
“And the Clarks, how are you feeling about them?” Jenna tried her best to hide the anxiety she felt even mentioning them. Danielle knew the job, and Jenna was expected to release the case to her, but she didn’t want to hand the boys off to anyone. She didn’t know if she even could, no matter what Danielle said.
“I think I’m ready,” Danielle said. “But I’m not sure they are. They’re attached to you. And I know it’s a special case to you.”
Jenna returned Danielle’s steady gaze. Danielle knew she wasn’t ready. That’s what she was really saying, and she was right. “It is.” Jenna’s voice came out in a whisper. She couldn’t hold a fully capable employee back for her own benefit, but she couldn’t deny she’d tried to think of reasons to. “What about your other cases? Are you comfortable with them?”
“Absolutely.”
“All right,” Jenna said. “What if we release you from Sasha? I’ll continue working with you on the Clarks, and if you have any questions on your other cases you can ask me?”
“That sounds perfect.”
“I guess that makes this our last training check-in,” Jenna said.
“I guess so.”
Jenna stood up. “Well, congratulations.” She held out her hand. Danielle’s hand slipped into hers as she accepted the handshake. Why did it feel so out of place? Had they strayed that far outside the lines? Jenna circled the desk and led the way to the door to see Danielle out. Danielle stopped just inside the frame.
“Listen, Jenna, everything you told me about Deon and Raylon, and your mom, all of it, I understand. If it ever becomes my case I’ll do my best to do what you would do.”
“Thanks,” Jenna said. “That means a lot.”
“It meant a lot that you told me what you did.”
Danielle’s eyes had a shine to them, the unmistakable reflectiveness of tears. Just as she was sure she saw it, it was gone.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” Danielle said, but the tremor in her voice said otherwise.
“Danielle, what is it?”
“Nothing,” she said. “Nothing, I’m so sorry. Just thinking about you and your mom made me think of my brother.”
“Li?”
Danielle nodded.
“What about him?”
Danielle shook her head. “No, I shouldn’t. I shouldn’t bother you with it. I’m so sorry. You’re trying to work.”
“Danielle.”
“He just came to see me early this morning. It’s not a big deal.”
“Is he okay?”
“Sure, yeah, he’s great. He just can’t talk to me anymore. My dad found out we were talking and threatened to stop paying for college. But he’s going to stop talking to me. He’ll be a doctor, and everything will be fine.” A tear spilled down Danielle’s cheek. She wiped it away like lightning. “I’m fine,” she said. “I’m fine. I’m really fine. I wouldn’t want him to do anything different. I’m so sorry, I can’t believe I did that.”
“It’s okay, Danielle. You can cry.”
“No,” she whispered. “No, I shouldn’t. Not here. I shouldn’t dump this on you. You’re my boss.”
Jenna felt paralyzed by how wrong that word felt. Boss. It wasn’t close to describing her relationship with Danielle. It didn’t remotely capture it. It wasn’t even in the same universe. Danielle’s tears were gone; she was composed again, and she even smiled.
“I really am fine,” she said. “It’s what I want for him.”
Jenna felt trapped in Danielle’s eyes. They were burning into her, and the passion was stirring into desire. She felt almost panicked that this was their last meeting, and she knew she shouldn’t. The space between them felt wrong. The mask of work felt strange. She’d wanted to hold Danielle while she cried, not something a boss would do, not even the way a friend would do it.
She longed for Danielle’s touch, wanted her to move closer and take the kiss she wanted the way she had at the party. But Danielle would never do it. She wouldn’t be the one to break their agreement, and Jenna understood why. The risk was hers to take. The consequences would be hers to bear. Danielle wouldn’t be the one to put her in that position, and she shouldn’t be.
Danielle turned for the door again, and Jenna impulsively pushed it closed before it was too late. When Danielle turned to her in surprise, she stole the kiss she knew they both wanted.
Danielle’s sharp inhale sent arousal plunging down her, and she wrapped her arms around Danielle and pulled her closer. Danielle locked the door. The quiet click of it twisting sent a thrill through her, and Jenna fell into the heat of Danielle’s kiss. She backed her into the door and pressed against her, wanting Danielle’s hands everywhere. When Danielle’s tongue brushed over her lip, she thought her knees might buckle on the spot. Jenna traced her hand down Danielle’s soft neck, moving down to her breasts. Danielle pulled away from their kiss just enough that their lips parted.
“Jenna, are you sure?”
“Yes,” Jenna said. “I can’t stand it. I need you.”
“Then take me.”
Their lips crashed together again. Danielle’s hands were on her chest, moving under her suit jacket and pulling it off. Jenna grabbed Danielle’s hips and pushed her back into the room, stepping until Danielle backed into the edge of the desk and sat on the surface, then grabbed her knees and pulled them apart, moving between them. Jenna wove her fingers through Danielle’s hair and pressed her body between her legs. Danielle moaned into their kiss, and her fists tightened around Jenna’s blouse as she leaned back onto the desk.
Jenna kissed down Danielle’s neck, gently pulling with her teeth at the sensitive skin until Danielle was writhing under her. She moved her hands under Danielle’s shirt, feeling her way up the smooth, hot skin of Danielle’s stomach until she reached the swell of her breasts and gently took Danielle’s nipple between her fingers. Danielle muffled her moan against Jenna’s neck and wrapped her legs around Jenna’s waist. Jenna pushed against her center again, and Danielle collapsed onto the desk under her while she tugged at Jenna’s blouse buttons until she could
rip it off.
Jenna undid Danielle’s belt, then the button, until she was able to slip her hand inside Danielle’s pants. Danielle pulled Jenna into another kiss as she shifted her hips toward Jenna’s hand. Jenna brushed Danielle’s clit with the softest of touches and Danielle reeled in her arms.
“Fuck me, Jenna, please. I can’t wait anymore.”
Jenna cupped her hand under Danielle’s neck and slowly plunged inside. Danielle’s back arched off the desk, and Jenna covered her moan with a kiss. The sound of papers fluttering through the air and hitting the ground did nothing to distract from Danielle’s nails dragged down her back as she plunged again, deeper. Danielle’s reactions to her every movement made her head swim. All she could think about was tasting every inch of her. She pressed her body into Danielle’s clit while she fucked her slow and deep. Danielle’s fingers made their way into her hair again and held her fast against her body. Her hips started moving faster, and she pulled Jenna against her even harder.
“I’m going to come,” Danielle whispered in her ear. Arousal shot through Jenna, and she fucked Danielle faster and harder until the first wave of Danielle’s orgasm took over and her back arched off the desk. Her arms tightened around Jenna’s body, and her nails dug into her back. Jenna moaned and pressed into her harder. Danielle’s moan ripped through Jenna, and she felt undone by her need for Danielle’s touch. Danielle buried her face in Jenna’s shoulder and tried to stifle the sounds of her own ecstasy, then finally collapsed onto the desk. Jenna waited, relishing the pulses of Danielle’s orgasm before she removed her fingers. Danielle gently touched Jenna’s face, then leaned up and kissed her.
A knock sounded at the door. Jenna and Danielle both leapt in surprise. Danielle started to button her pants. Jenna motioned for her to be quiet.
“Jenna? You in there?” Sasha called as the door handle twisted, catching on the lock.
Jenna grabbed her blouse and yanked it on. “Yeah,” she said. “Just finishing a few things up.”
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