by Micah Thomas
Thelon tried, too. The door was locked. We are trapped in the bathroom. He shrugged to Henry, whose eyes darted to every surface in panic.
Thelon turned around and took in the bathroom. Ah, urinals. I was in the men’s room after all. But what he noticed next was perplexing. The bathroom was comprised of four walls. One was the wall of urinals. The second was a row of sinks, mirrors, and hand blowers. Three housed stall doors. The forth wall was blank with a single door that would not open. How did I get in here? Thelon found himself imagining police sirens. People coming for him. He was in some sort of trouble. Now he shared Henry’s panic and kicked open stall doors, finding only toilets within.
His hearing and speech returned simultaneously. “How do we get out?” he implored Henry, who laughed wildly.
“Dude,” he said and opened the furthest stall door, which led to a smaller sink area and yet another full-sized door.
Thelon grasped Henry’s arm with gratitude as he led the way out.
Cassie stood outside the bathroom With a small smile and bemused expression, but eyes alert. “You two get it all sorted out?”
Thelon wanted to answer, but the world collapsed inward. I’m dying again. The pain in his stomach overwhelmed him. The world went black and for a few seconds, he did not exist.
His next awareness was physical touch. Henry held his hand and dumped something cold and icy over the back of his head. Thelon groaned and let loose the longest, loudest fart he’d ever had in his entire life.
The tension broke and Cassie’s laugh startled Thelon so badly he farted again. “Jesus. It’s not that funny,” Thelon said. He was awake and completely present again.
Meanwhile, Cassie wheezed from laughing too hard, doubled over and holding her stomach while Cat twisted and tried to jump from her grasp. “I don’t even know you fucking guys. This is outrageous.” She held her breath until her face turned red and then let it out with more laugher. Okay, something you should know about me: I laugh when I’m nervous. I laugh when someone gets hurt. It’s involuntary.”
Henry smiled and patted Thelon’s back. “It’s okay. You’ve got the giggles. We need the giggles.”
Cassie caught her breath and stopped. “Are you okay, Thelon?”
“I’m fine,” he said and started to teeter and fall again.
Cassie looked to Henry. Concern fluttered across their faces and they took Thelon by either arm. “So, like, can either of you tell me what just happened?”
“I got sick,” Thelon lied.
“No,” she said as they led him outside to the car, ignoring the stares of the cinema staff. “Are you going to tell me that reality is a simulation? Because I’m ready to hear that right now. Something. Anything.”
“What is she talking about, Henry?”
“Dude. Bro. You disappeared completely. Like a magic trick, but real.”
“What?”
“Yeah. We came out of the bathroom where you were losing your shit, and poof, you were gone. Then you were back, and I dumped Cassie’s Coke on your head.”
Cassie said, “Two things, mother fuckers. One: I’m shook. I’m legit, dead-ass shook. Two: I’m driving—not a debate. Three: what the absolute fuck?”
Henry helped Thelon into the back seat and made a little creche out of blankets.
Once they were all situated, Henry said, “Cassie, there’s two stories going here and I’m not gonna lie, I don’t really get it. In one of then, we are three new friends going on a road trip, and we’re going to have normal conversations and do normal-ass shit.”
Henry paused and took a deep breath, slowly letting it out. “In the other story, though—and I swear to you, I didn’t believe it either—you and I are caught in a dream our man Thelon is having. And it’s not a good dream, or a bad dream, just a weird fucking dream. There’s no waking up. I’ve tried. In this dream, I’m the water boy.”
“The what?” Cassie said as she merged onto the highway.
“When he gets all fuzzy and the world breaks and it’s like I’m tripping on acid just being near him, my job—and I take it seriously—is to pull him back out. Usually he needs to get dunked in water, but I guess Coke works, too.”
“Is this dangerous? Like, are we in actual danger?”
“Yeah. I think so. Sorry we left that part out, but something is at stake and it’s more than I understand. What did you say? Just go with it. I’m just going with it.”
“Fuck a duck.”
“You can say that again.”
“Fuck. A. Duck.”
“There’s a little bit more,” Henry said, sounding embarrassed.
“Henry,” Thelon said, but was ignored.
“Sometimes, strange things are going to happen.”
“I can see that.”
“I mean, like, next level strange. And, all I can say is, we’re gonna be okay. I have no idea how I know this or why, and I haven’t even told Thelon half of it, but look, I’m sober. I have—and this is no exaggeration—zero desire for any intoxicants under the sun. Until this week, I’ve spent my adult life self-medicating. Occasionally, I’m prescribed something legit, but mostly not, and I’ve never felt so good. Like, life is telling me that even though this is insane, I’m finally doing the right thing.”
The GPS chirped for them to continue on route. “That helps,” Cassie said. “It actually does, but dude, you both could have told me beforehand.”
“Would you have believed us?” Henry asked.
“I don’t know. I don’t care. You should have said something. Also, Thelon’s dreaming. You are the water boy. What’s my role?” Cassie asked.
“Mama hen? No. Protector, maybe? The stuff he’s telling us about who we were in another life…I think you and I are going to be doing a whole lot more. Right now, though, I guess you are the driver.”
Cassie said, “I can do that. For now.”
“You really don’t feel anything else? Something deeper?” Henry asked.
“Of course I do. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t,” Cassie said and focused on the road.
Thelon listened, but said nothing. He remembered that thing now, but he couldn’t say it. Not because it was scary or confusing or because he was all fucked up and his hair and beard were sticky. No. He couldn’t say it because there were no words. He held onto his revelation in silence and the knowledge wrapped him like a cotton blanket as he wished he had something to drink to disconnect his mind and body from this reality.
~
DRIVING HELPED EVERYONE. The road contained its own meter. The passing scenes diverting attention away from the deep and to the now. The morning tension broke into relief on this blessed road.
When Thelon grounded in reality once more, the events that made no rational sense seemed to ease into a distorted memory. Maybe I really did just get sick in there and nothing serious happened. More so than the car and the road, letting Cassie drive, trusting in her, letting that worry go, and believing everything was fine made reality settle around him. Despite being strangers, they fell into a comfortable pattern. To all three, it felt like being in the company of old friends.
They stopped for gas. They stopped for snacks. They stopped to take a piss in pissy rest stops. Stretching their legs, taking in the air of another place, they barely had any exchanges with anyone else and that was fine by Thelon. Routines formed in the car as they rotated drivers and decided who took shotgun. Music, talking, silence. This feels good. Why can’t we just do this forever? Thelon drove and buckled down as rain started coming down hard in a midday storm.
Out of nowhere, Henry said, “This feels like therapy. Does this feel like therapy to you guys?”
From the passenger seat, Cassie looked over her shoulder and said, “Ever think maybe it feels like that to you because you never shut up?”
“Fair enough.” Henry laughed. “You know, I was a junkie just a few weeks ago and I don’t even think about it now.”
She more fully turned in her seat to look back at He
nry. “You mentioned that. What were you using?”
Henry held Cat and let her do that massage thing on his belly. “Weed every day. Crank when I could get it. Crack when I couldn’t. And if anyone had anything else, I’d do that, too.”
“Why though?”
“I could make excuses: bad home, abused and broken. But at the end of the day, there was nothing else to do but catch a high.”
Cassie was quiet for a minute. “I was hooked on pills.”
“Oh yeah?”
“I was in Afghanistan. Army Ranger. Took a hit. IED.” She lifted her shirt and stretched around the seatbelt to show a ragged, raised scar that spread up her side and onto her back. “I was prescribed Oxy. I needed it. After two years, I wasn’t sure if I needed-needed it, or just needed it. You know?”
Thelon glanced at her body, but looked away, embarrassed that he’d glimpsed her bra as well.
Henry said, “Fuck yeah. That’s some real shit. How did you stop wanting it?”
“What makes you think I did?” She laughed again. “I think about it every damned day. There’s pain still. Something in my back is fucked, but I have a clear head and shit to do and that’s worth more.”
Thelon listened to the bonding going on between the seats. It’s happening. I’ll be damned, it’s happening. Maybe not love or attraction, but they are connecting. They are becoming more real and I’m fucking dissociating. Weird poetic justice in that. He assured himself that he wasn’t jealous, but Thelon was aware that in some way, he was a third wheel.
“So, you’re a nurse who used to be a soldier,” Henry said. “You like it? Like, doing that for a job?”
“I think I used to. Helping people at their worst was like helping myself. It gave me purpose.”
“I can’t even imagine.”
“Not trying to make it sound noble. It’s a job. Eventually, we all get burned out. Our patients aren’t getting better. You get attached and then they’re gone. You know it’s gonna happen, but that doesn’t mean anything when you carry all this grief home and stare at the ceiling, letting old shitty memories tear you apart for hours.”
“I know a little about that last bit,” Henry admitted. “Not even being high really ever made my mind stop doing that asshole thing to me. You gonna quit?”
Thelon interrupted as he found himself struggling to see through the pane of rainwater on the windshield. “Hey, Cassie, can you turn around, please?”
“Sure, sure,” she said apologetically, then returned to her conversation with Henry, almost shouting back over her shoulder over the storm, “My job or torturing myself?”
“Either? Both?” Henry asked as he tucked Cat back in her kennel. “Fuck.”
Cat nipped at him.
“She doesn’t like storms,” Cassie said. “But back to your question: I don’t know. It’s a job. You gotta eat. I don’t know how to do anything else. I’ve spent the last few years stuck like this. That’s why when you showed up, it was like, what’s this? It’s different. You’re different.”
“I’m just some loser along for the ride.” Henry chuckled.
Thelon realized they had completely forgotten about him. He kept his mouth shut and navigated off the highway into town. We can wait out the rain. They aren’t bothered by it, so why should I be? Why can’t I just be along for the ride like Henry? He liked being with them, even though he kept secrets and the subtleties of their relationship positioned him just on the periphery. They are my comfort animals. A funny but true thought.
Thelon changed lanes and zoomed around a line of slow-moving cars, water in deep rivulets splashed up around the vehicle, giving the impression that he was steering a boat and not an SUV.
Cassie said, “You’re not just some loser, Henry. You’re my soulmate, remember? At least in another life. I seriously doubt my cosmic match in this life or any other would be a loser. I’m too dope for that.”
Thelon’s thoughts drifted miles away from the conversation around him as he parked at a gas station and wondered what would happen when they finally made it to Black Star. I should sleep. I should call work. I should call my parents. Should. Should. Should.
“Hey, Cassie?” Thelon asked in a quiet, sad voice.
“Yeah?”
“Would you mind driving for a bit? At least until we get to Amarillo? I think I should sleep.”
“No problemo.”
Henry said, “While we’re here, I’m gonna go in and take a piss. Anyone need anything?”
“Nope,” Cassie said.
Thelon arranged himself in the back seat, locking eyes with Cat but stopping short of trying to pet her.
Cassie slid the driver’s seat up as far forward as it would go, “Damned big cars and their disregard for short people! You got enough room back there?” She asked Thelon, even though he sat behind the passenger seat.
“Yeah. Thanks. How are you feeling about…you know, stuff?”
“I’m good. This is fun. Are you okay, though? You were awfully quiet for a long time.”
“I’m just in my head. Thinking about what’s next.”
“Yeah, about that. What exactly are we doing again? Saving the world or something?” She looked at Thelon in the rearview mirror.
Henry opened the passenger door, letting in cool air and rain. “Hey guys! They had a DQ in there!” He handed them both soft-serve cones. “Oh, and here are some napkins. It’s about to get sticky in here.”
“Thanks, man,” Cassie said.
“Hey, Thelon, pass Cat up here. She wants to see her momma drive.”
Thelon juggled the ice cream and nearly dropped it as he handed Cat to Henry and Cassie got them back on the highway.
Again, Cassie caught Thelon’s eye in rearview. She had an absolutely piercing gaze even in a quick glance. “Thelon was just going to tell us about where we’re going.”
Mouth filled with too large of a bite, brain freeze imminent, Thelon mumbled, “Uh, yeah.”
“What the fuck, dude!” Cassie shouted at Henry, who took alternating licks of his cone while sharing it with Cat. “You know she licks her own asshole?”
Henry shrugged. “Who doesn’t eat ass these days? You want some?”
“Some ass to eat or some ice cream that has ass-eater tongue all over it? I’ll pass!”
He waved the cone in front of her mouth, and she squirmed and moved her head out of the way. “Ewwww!”
“Eat it! Eat the ass ice cream!”
“Noooo!” She took a lick.
“See? It’s nice.”
“You sick fuck.” They both laughed.
Thelon knew he’d been let off the hook. They will ask again. What am I even going to tell them, that I have no idea what I’m doing? He finished the cone and wiped off his beard with the tiny little napkins. It was getting late. Time moved and they made progress, but Thelon organized his thoughts and realized this day had started with Henry at the Circle K. They’d gone to the movies and it was still the same damned day. How? Time isn’t working right. I wonder if the rest of the world is feeling this, too.
The chatter between Henry and Cassie continued. They didn’t seem tired, but Thelon drifted into dreamless sleep. For a while, nothing seemed to happen. A rest for Thelon meant the world continued—unless it didn’t. Cassie drove without incident while Henry amused her with stories of his adventures and failures.
After some indeterminable amount of time, Thelon woke to the sound of a car door slamming closed. They had stopped. He’d been sleeping and it was good to feel rested.
“Hey,” Cassie said, twisting in her seat to shake Thelon’s leg. “Wake up.”
“I’m up. What? Where are we?”
“Um...somewhere. Amarillo, I think.”
“Wow. I was really out.”
“Yeah, yeah. Hey. Does he like me?” Her pupils were so large her brown eyes looked entirely black.
“What time is it?” Thelon dodged.
“I’m serious. Does he like me?”
Thelo
n let out a long breath. “I think it’s pretty clear he thinks you’re cool.”
“Yeah, but does he like-like me? Listen to me; I sound like a kid.”
“When I met Henry, I thought he was like a stray cat that rubs up against anyone’s leg if they have treats, but runs away when you want to pet him.”
“I can see that. And now?”
“He’s amazing.”
“Yeah,” she said with a dreamy air.
“Where is he?”
“Oh, we’re at some knock off McDonald’s road stop. It’s seven p.m. according to the clock in your fancy car.”
“I thought it was later somehow.”
Cassie shrugged and Henry came back to the car with the bag of breakfast. Cassie’s voice shot up higher than Thelon expected as she quickly changed topics. “Hey, got the hash browns?”
Thelon chuckled and shook his head. They’re like kids.
Henry fished into the sack for the potato patties. “Hot, hot, hot, but the grease smells amazing.”
“Thanks,” Cassie said, voice close to its normal register. “This, my road trip buddies, is called Brinner.”
“Brinner?” Henry asked.
“Yeah, breakfast for dinner.”
A semi-truck pulled out of the greasy spoon truck stop to reveal large signage for camping gear and rentals. The neon orange sign read OPEN.
“Oh my God. Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Cassie said, mouth full of sausage biscuit.
“No,” Thelon said, but he knew.
“Camping!” Henry cheered.
“No. Please, no,” Thelon groaned.
“Look. We could drive all night and stop in some random shithole, except I don’t like hotels crawling with bed bugs and old cum,” Cassie argued. “The weather is nice. We can have a campfire and s’mores and everything.”
Thelon unbuckled his seatbelt and left Cassie and Henry to their breakfast. “Be right back,” he said before he walked over to the rental shack.
He returned after a few minutes with a yellow permit, a stack of receipts, and a key to the storage lockers. “You goofballs get what you want. The campgrounds are just down the road. I guess it’s been nice and dry here, so we don’t need to worry about getting rained out. You two are hauling the tents and shit though. That’s the deal.”
