He pouted. “Do we have to?”
“You know we do. Until we get a better handle on how this works, okay?” Maria loaded a test strip into the glucose monitor and prepped the spring-loaded pen that would prick his finger for the necessary blood drop. “Ready?”
Calvin took a deep breath and turned his head.
Maria fought the tears that tried to well up. She’d tested it on her own finger, so she knew it wasn’t really painful, but it was still not something a child should have to deal with. She squeezed his finger and pressed the drop onto the test strip. “See? All done. Go wash your hands again.”
With a sigh, Calvin slid off the kitchen stool and headed down the hallway. Maria glanced at the readout and recorded the time and blood sugar number in the little notebook they were keeping. She needed to figure out a way to afford the pump with the continuous glucose monitor. She just didn’t happen to have ten thousand dollars lying around. Betsy and Wayne were contacting the insurance company to see if there wasn’t something that could be done. Even if it meant switching to a different plan, the peace of mind would be worth the extra monthly cost. She’d find that in the budget somehow.
Closing the notebook, Maria pushed it aside. She was doing a lot of that today. Wasn’t Thanksgiving supposed to be a time of focusing on the blessings God had given? Not that she wasn’t trying to do that every day, but at this time of year, it seemed so much more important. Maybe even a little easier. After all, Thanksgiving kicked off the season of celebrating Jesus’ birth, and that was something she would forever be grateful for.
Did Cyan understand the importance? If he did, how could he not believe?
The oven timer buzzed. Maria reached for potholders and, yet again, forced her thoughts away from Cyan. And his kiss.
* * *
“Do I really have to go back to school tomorrow?” Calvin frowned at Maria as she tucked his folder into his backpack.
“You really do.” She’d love to keep him home another week to make sure they had the basics of this disease under control, but he’d have to go back eventually, and, if the doctors were to be believed, that was going to mess things up anyway. So they might as well tackle the new learning curves all at once. Right? Her stomach twisted. Was it the right thing? This was the part of single parenting she hated the most. Every decision rested entirely on her shoulders. For good or for ill, it was all going to be her fault.
“What about my shots?”
She smiled and patted the couch next to her. Calvin shuffled over and flopped down. She slipped her arm around his shoulders and tugged him against her side. “I’ll drive you in tomorrow and go visit the nurse. You’ll have to go see her before lunch and she’ll check your blood sugar and give you your shot. Hopefully before too long, we’ll get you that pump the doctor was talking about and it’ll get easier. For now, we’ll do the best we can. You remember what it feels like when you start to get low?”
He gave a hesitant nod.
“If that happens, tell your teacher and she’ll send you to the nurse.”
Calvin sighed. “I’m going to live in the nurse’s office.”
Maria laughed. “It might feel like that for a little while, but we’ll get it figured out. Promise.”
“Mr. Cyan was homeschooled. Why can’t I be? Then you could just take care of me.”
“Oh, sweetie. That could be fun, but you know I have work, right? You’ve seen how busy I am on your days off—teacher work days, that sort of thing? It’s like that every day. When would I teach you? And what would you do after we finished with the teaching but before I was done with all the jobs Mr. and Mrs. Hewitt need me to do? Homeschooling works for some people, but not for everyone.” How on earth had that conversation started? She’d seen Calvin and Cyan chatting before and after church, and Calvin had spent a lot of his afternoon over at the main house while Maria caught a quick nap. Obviously, Cyan had been her son’s primary source of entertainment.
“If you got married, could you do it then?”
Maria frowned. “I thought you liked school.”
Calvin shrugged. “It’s okay. I like being here better. I could help with the horses more, like I do in the summer.”
And be underfoot in the stables. The guys were understanding. Maybe they even enjoyed Calvin a little. But every day? She didn’t see that going over very well. “Well. For the foreseeable future, you’re going to be at school. All right?”
“I guess. Can I go over and say goodnight to Mr. Cyan?”
Mr. Cyan this. Mr. Cyan that. She could understand the fascination, but it wasn’t a good idea to get too attached. “I don’t think so, kiddo. Why don’t you go get ready for bed and then we can read a chapter or two from The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe?”
“Three chapters?”
She chuckled. “Let’s start with one and see how we’re doing, okay?”
Calvin nodded and scurried off to his room.
Maria pressed her fingers to her eyes.
At a light tap on the door, she pushed herself off the couch and crossed the room. Seeing Cyan standing there in jeans and a flannel shirt made her blink. How did he look so good in something so ordinary?
“Hi.” He smiled and held out a thermos. “I’m told you do bedtime stories about this time. I thought maybe hot chocolate would go well with them.”
“Oh. Well, normally. But—”
“Sugar free.” His teeth chattered.
“Sorry, come in. It’s freezing out there.” Maria stepped back to make room. Why hadn’t he put on a coat? They were supposed to get more snow tonight—possibly up to half a foot.
Cyan pulled the door closed behind him. “Was it a bad idea? I just hoped—that is, it’s been a long time since I heard a bedtime story.”
He wanted to stay. Maria’s mouth went dry. It was fine while Calvin was awake. She was getting used to that. Almost. But with Cal in his jammies, the quiet, almost intimate time snuggling with Narnia on the couch? That was what family should feel like.
“I’ll go. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to overstep.” Cyan turned and reached for the doorknob then paused, looking back at her over his shoulder. “I like you, Maria. A lot. And Calvin? I fell for him almost immediately. If you want me to back off completely, you’re going to have to tell me that. And it’d go down a lot easier if you’d include an explanation of why.”
Her heart hammered against her ribs. She cast around for the words she needed, finally managing to whisper, “You don’t believe in Jesus.”
“I do, now, actually. Since yesterday. I know there’s a lot still for me to learn. Wayne calls it growing—I’m not up on all the lingo, but I’ll get there. I’ve always been a pretty fast study.”
Maria blinked. That was unexpected news. Good news—at least for him. For her it was a little more mixed. His beliefs were her major objection. “I—congratulations?”
“Thanks.” He smiled. How had she not noticed the little crinkles at the corners of his eyes before? He certainly smiled a lot. No one would ever accuse Cyan Hewitt of being taciturn. He nodded. “Good night, then.”
“Stay.” The word was out before she could stop herself. She reached out and laid her fingers on his arm. “I’ll get some mugs for that cocoa. You any good at reading aloud?”
“As it happens, my sisters all used to beg me for bedtime stories. Are you sure?”
Was she? A new believer was still an iffy proposition, but at least it was a step in the right direction. It wasn’t as if a bedtime story was a diamond ring. She nodded and pointed to the couch. “Have a seat. I’ll check on Calvin and get the drinks.”
* * *
“How’s my grandson at reading?” Betsy leaned her hip against the kitchen island and waggled her eyebrows.
Maria set aside the cloth she was using to wipe the counters and sighed. “Better than me. He does voices for the characters. Good ones. I don’t think Calvin will ever be satisfied with me reading again.”
Betsy chuckled. “
I doubt that. He loves you.”
“He loves Cyan, too.”
“Does he? How do you know?”
Maria shook her head. “He said so last night while he was praying. What am I supposed to do, Betsy?”
“What do you want to do?”
Maria frowned.
Betsy held up a hand. “I’m not being glib, I’m asking. I think what you want should be a factor. Just like what he wants should be.”
What did she want? Maria sighed. She’d never been able to chase away dreams of marriage and a family, no matter how hard she tried. But a single mom didn’t have a ton of time to date and, even if she had the time, she’d never been able to figure out how to explain it to Calvin. She was the only constant in her boy’s life. Well, Wayne and Betsy were at this point, too. Throw in the unstated expectation of sex, even from the handful of Christian men she’d tried to date, and she wasn’t interested. But Cyan had her rethinking things she’d thought were firmly closed. “Where is he?”
“Cyan?”
Maria nodded. Who else could she mean?
“He and Wayne went out to look at the empty cabins. Seems our grandson has it in his head to make himself a permanent base here.” Betsy shot Maria a knowing look. “Can’t imagine why.”
He was staying here? She reached for the cloth and started scrubbing.
“Don’t you like him at all?”
“Too much, Betsy. I’ve known him almost two weeks. I shouldn’t feel this way about him. Or his kisses.”
“Kisses?” Betsy made a humming noise in her throat. “He works fast.”
“Don’t sound so proud.” Heat crept across Maria’s cheeks. Why had she mentioned the kisses? Maybe because she needed to talk to someone about them and Betsy was the closest thing she had to a girlfriend. “I have no business kissing anyone, let alone Cyan.”
“What’s wrong with kissing Cyan?”
Maria threw her hands in the air, the cloth fluttering like a flag of surrender. “Two weeks, Betsy. And he’s been a Christian for three days? How is a new believer any different than a non-believer in terms of dating? For that matter, how do I know he didn’t decide to believe just because he knew it was something that mattered to me?”
“Now hold up.” Betsy frowned and crossed her arms. “That boy has been edging closer to Jesus for the last year. Wayne and I—and his older sister Azure—have been praying for him constantly. I won’t say knowing you cared about it wasn’t another little nudge, but his decision to trust Jesus isn’t about you. It’s about him and Jesus.”
Maria closed her eyes. Was it possible to feel any smaller? Of course it wasn’t about her. “The fact that I can make all of this about me is another reason I shouldn’t be thinking about Cyan that way.”
“Oh, please.” Betsy blew a raspberry.
Maria chuckled in spite of herself. “I’m serious.”
“So am I. Cyan’s a good man. He was a good man before he came to Christ, he’s going to be an even better one now that he’s actively seeking that relationship. You could do a whole lot worse. I’m not saying marry him tomorrow, but I am suggesting that maybe it’s time you gave yourself a chance to be a young woman and not just a mom.”
Maria swallowed. Did she even know how to do that anymore? Calvin, her job, and school were her life. Could she make room for Cyan? Should she? She glanced over at her friend and offered a small smile. “Any chance you and Wayne could babysit on Friday night?”
A grin split Betsy’s face. “Thatta girl. I’m pretty sure we’re free.”
Okay. Maria drew in a deep breath. She’d half-hoped there’d be a conflict. Now she just had to figure out where she was going to work up the nerve to ask Cyan out.
9
Cyan checked the time at the bottom of his laptop’s monitor and hit save. He stretched his arms up over his head and glanced around the main room of the cabin. He’d convinced Wayne to let him rent the place and they’d worked out an agreement that included a final price that was way lower than seemed reasonable. His grandfather had insisted when Cyan had made it clear he wouldn’t live there for free.
At some point, he was going to have to tell his parents he’d decided to settle here. He’d considered simply saying New Mexico, generically, but that was akin to a lie, wasn’t it? The easy lie had never been something he’d enjoyed. It was better by far to deal with the fallout right away, rather than compounding it.
“Sooner’s better than later.” Cyan blew out a breath and reached for his cell. He dialed his parents before he had time to talk himself out of it.
“Cyan! How are you, honey?” His mother sounded slightly out of breath, but happy.
“I’m good. Figured I should call and say hello.”
“That’s always nice. Let me get your father.”
Cyan winced as his mother hollered for his dad. He’d half hoped he could let her pass on the information. Apparently he was an enormous, yellow chicken.
“Hey there Cyan, to what do we owe the pleasure?” His dad’s voice held a hint of teasing, but the barb still hit home.
“Oh, honey, give it a rest. If you want to talk to him more, you know how to dial the phone. We’re glad you called, Cy.”
“Thanks, Mom. Hi, Dad.”
“So, where are you these days? Still up in the Pacific Northwest?” His dad sighed. “It’s so pretty up there, I can see why you like it.”
Cyan took a deep breath. Like a bandage. Just do it fast and brace for impact. “I’m actually in New Mexico. At Rancho de Esperanza.”
“That’s a lovely name. Hope Ranch, isn’t it?” Clearly his mother hadn’t pieced it together yet. “That’s a lot like...oh. Well, that’s nice, right dear?”
“Nice isn’t the word I’d choose.” His father’s voice could make ice shiver. “What are you doing there?”
“Getting to know my grandparents. It’s a beautiful place. I imagine growing up here was amazing.” He needed to stop babbling. He cleared his throat. “I’m actually planning on settling here.”
“With my parents.”
“Dad.” Cyan discarded every thought as it popped into his head. “Yes. With my grandparents. I’m sorry it hurts you. They would be, too.”
“Whatever. Just watch your back, they’ll be dragging you to church and preaching at you constantly before you know it.” His mother murmured in the background, but Cyan couldn’t catch the words over his father’s breathing.
Might as well get it all over with. “I don’t actually mind that. I’m a Christian now, too. Like Azure.”
“Oh for—here. You talk to him. What did we do wrong? That’s what I want to know.” There was a pause and then the bullet-like slam of a door before his mother came on the line.
“Oh, Cyan.”
“I know, Mom. I’m sorry it hurts the two of you, but you raised us to be independent thinkers.”
Her chuckle was resigned. “Maybe I’ll try that on Dad and see if making it his fault helps any.”
“I didn’t mean it that way. I love you. Both of you.”
“We love you too, Cy. Maybe it’s better if you just text me now and then for a little while. He got over Azure’s conversion, I’m sure it’s just a matter of time before he’s okay with yours.”
Cyan pressed his fingers to his eyes. It wasn’t any worse than what he’d expected. That didn’t make it good. “Okay. Thanks.”
“Bye, honey.”
He ended the call and stared at his computer. He’d done enough work for right now. He’d wander down to the main house and scrounge up a snack. Maybe he could accidentally bump into Maria. He’d been trying to give her some space ever since he’d barged in on their story time on Sunday night. It had been harder than he’d imagined.
She hadn’t sought him out, either.
They both had work. And there was Calvin. He shook his head. If he’d hoped avoiding Maria would send her chasing after him, he’d misjudged badly. Maybe it was time to try a different tactic.
Grabbing his
coat, Cyan stomped into his boots and headed through the crisp, clear afternoon toward the main house. The snow had all been cleared, leaving neat paths for moving between buildings. He’d meant to offer to help, but work was picking up with one client and he hadn’t gotten to it. Clearly, the guys knew what they were doing. He would likely have just been in the way. Still, he’d make a point of asking what he could do to help out around here. If it was going to be his home, he should contribute.
Cyan wiped his boots on the mat outside the kitchen door before stepping through into the mudroom. He stepped out of his shoes, leaving them with the other outside gear piled neatly by the door. Were Maria’s in there? He frowned, unsure. What was he going to do if she wasn’t here? He hung his coat on an empty hook and wandered out of the little mud room into the kitchen proper. It was sparkling clean. And empty.
Cyan blew out a breath. “Hello?”
No one answered. It was entirely possible they hadn’t heard him. The house was large and his grandparents liked to play music while they worked in the office. Maria had headphones she slipped on while she cleaned. What did she listen to? Just one more thing he wondered. He wanted to find out everything about her.
He poked his head in the dining room—a space that was seldom used from what he’d observed. They’d eaten their delayed Thanksgiving dinner in there, but that was it. Still, everything gleamed with an air of having just been cleaned. With a frown, he turned and nearly crashed into Maria.
“Sorry.” Cyan reached out a hand. “Hi.”
Maria slipped her headphones off and smiled. “Hi. Are you looking for your grandparents? They went in to town. I think they’re going to pick Calvin up after school and take him out to dinner.”
“Oh? That’s nice. I didn’t realize they did that.”
She shrugged. “Not a lot.”
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